Tuesday, October 28, 2014

the big switch

after years of threatening to cancel our cable/internet connection, it finally happened yesterday. the cost of cable/internet is pretty high these days but i had been getting a sweet deal for years. years ago sonny found out about a special for students that was about half price so i put the service in his name for a few years and then after he graduated i put the service in my daughters name and that lasted a little over a year. when the student program was canceled i kept threatening to quit the service and they kept giving me 6 month promotions. the last promotion they gave me was $40 month for cable/internet which was a real sweet deal. after that promotion expired the bill skyrocketed to $137 month. quite the increase.

my sweetheart has been negotiating with the competing phone/cable/internet company for a few months and she was anxious to make the switch so yesterday it happened. the rep booked a 2 hour installation that turned into 7 hours of hell. ruby had to be locked in her crate for the whole 7 hours so she was probably suffered the greatest but i sure got a headache too. they ended up having to run a new line into the house. it took the guy 4 hours to figure out we needed the new line and then he had to call his manager to come out and approve the new line as well as assist in the installation. after 7 hours they got me connected and guess what, they fucked up the order and i didn't get any of the channels i wanted. it took a call to customer service in montreal to order the changes that couldn't take effect until the next day. after that call was made i decided to make another change and spoke to a different rep who said she would put in the order for me. when i got up this morning there had been no changes made so i called back. finally, i now have my fucking channels. we got a pretty good deal, $65 month for cable/internet/land line for 1 year then it goes way up for 2 years. my sweetheart signed up for a 3 year contract.

i wouldn't have signed up for the 3 year contract but it's in her name and she's paying so as i'm fond of saying, jimmy crack corn.

to celebrate i went and bought this sweet little table to hold the remote controls.

R.I.P. jack bruce

i love you sons of bitches.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

chainification.

a few months back i decided life was too short to put up with the frustration of turning lamps on and off with cheap sub par switches and decided that chains were the way to go. i'm happy to report that chainification has been achieved in the bat nest:

i don't know how i was able to function at such a high level in the past when i was wasting so much time feeling around for knobs to twist that might have been on the right side of the lamp, on the left side of the lamp, at the front of the lamp or at the rear of the lamp. now i just pull the fucking chain and through the magic of renewable hydro electricity, my world is illuminated. i feel right at home in the illuminati. they're a bunch of real swell guys.

now that i'm illuminated, i decided that i needed some illustrations of dune so i ordered a hardback copy of house atreides to get some maps and illustrations. i plan to read sisterhood of dune and mentats of dune in the very near future and e-readers can't do maps for sour apples. the screen is too small and it's a pain in the neck changing screens. whilst looking for the the cheap copy of house atreides i came across a few first editions of the original "dune." i've been wondering what to buy myself for a retirement gift and a first edition of dune might just fit the bill. a very large fucking bill for a pristine copy.

i love you sons of bitches.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

mexicans

those darned mexicans are up to their old tricks. back in december 2013 a mexican woman was picked up for riding public transit without paying. when the transit cops checked her identity it was discovered that she was in the country illegally and had been ordered deported twice. while in custody she killed herself. so it goes.

all of the politically correct special interest groups jumped on the case and somehow or other it became our fault that she was in the country illegally and decided to kill herself. there were lots of protests by other mexicans and statements from the government of mexico condemning our actions. imagine a lowly country like canada having the temerity to try and enforce their immigration laws. there was such a hue and cry over our actions that an INQUEST WAS CALLED FOR TO LOOK INTO HER DEATH. these public inquests are not cheap and it's almost a foregone conclusion that the government will be condemned for doing its duty:

"This coroner's jury listened to six days of evidence and it is absolutely crystal clear that they understood that Canada Border Services had made just so many mistakes, had so many problems that contributed to the death of Lucia Vega Jimenez."

what really bugs me is not one politician has the guts to stand up and say, "oh fuck off, she killed herself. blame mexico for having a shithole of a country she was trying to escape."

but who gives a shit. hockey season has started and our mighty 'nucks are undefeated at the moment. 3 wins, zero losses! and hockey is a very classy sport!

if mexicans and hockey aren't your cup of tea, how about HITLER'S SEX LIFE??? i kinda believe the bit about hitler having his niece crap and piss on him.

i love you sons of bitches.