Tuesday, December 16, 2014

down, down, down.....

alright, who sunk their retirement fund into the russian stock market? i'm quite enjoying the FREE FALL OF THE RUSSIAN ROUBLE. it seems like yesterday that vlad was the great statesman stopping obama from bombing syria into oblivion but now the russian rouble has fallen 57% against the american dollar year to date and that has to hurt vlad. but vlad is no idiot so he probably has a great deal of his personal fortune invested abroad. vlad's not going to miss any meals but his mighty russian pride will soon need a boost. i'm sure more russian hijinx is in the cards. so it goes.

if anyone is having a hard time selecting a gift for vlad, may i suggest giving the king of russia A DOLLOP OR TWO OF BULLSHIT. the perfect give for the certain someone on everyone's list who's just so darned difficult to buy for. of course any russian giving this gift to vlad would be wise to give it anonymously. siberia is very cold this time of year.

merry fucking xmas vlad!

i love you sons of bitches.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

the question

our public transportation system, like most other public transportation systems, is chronically underfunded. years ago the politicians realized that it was a no-win situation and washed their hands of the whole thing and created an new entity called translink. translink is a non-elected entity that spends money like crazy and doesn't answer to anyone. over a year ago translink announced that they needed a shit load of new money to pay for new transit initiatives and of course no one could come up with any ideas how to fund their grand dreams so they decided it to have a referendum and let the people decide how they were going to be fucked.

it took translink over a year to come up with the THE QUESTION TO BE VOTED UPON. well the question was revealed today: Do you support a 0.5 per cent increase in Provincial Sales Tax in Metro Vancouver?

no shit, it took them over a year to come up with that question. i'm sure they did a lot of polling to find the least objectionable tax that would have the greatest chance of being accepted by the voting public. we're already having the living shit taxed out of us for public transportation:

"TransLink already takes 17 cents per litre on gas, five cents per litre of the federal government’s gas tax, ever-increasing property taxes, a 21 per cent parking tax and a levy on BC Hydro bills

it ain't cheap living in the big city.

oh well, maybe a little xmas music will cheer me up. here's the second best xmas carol in the whole world.

i love you sons of bitches.

Monday, December 8, 2014

al capone's snake

i was all excited about some lunatic getting eaten by a snake but somehow i forgot all about it until (spoiler alert) I READ THIS.

"When I went up to the snake, it didn't try to eat me right away," Rosolie recounted. "It tried to escape. And when I provoked it a little bit, and acted a little more like a predator, that's when it turned around and defended itself." In the end, Rosolie wasn't swallowed whole by the giant serpent, but instead wrestled with the beast as she coiled around him before he aborted the mission.

AND IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE 4.1 MILLION PEOPLE DUMBER THAN ME.

well, you gotta give the guy credit, not many people could convince a tv network to schedule a prime time event showing a crazy man being eaten alive by a great big snake. i guess all us fools should have read the fine print before getting excited. who knew he was going to have to catch a snake then convince it to eat him. i was thinking they had caught a giant snake a few months ago and were depriving it of food so it would be real hungry and gobble up our intrepid daredevil. so it goes.

last year my xmas gimmick was naming the best christmas carol and if i remember correctly the winner was:

is it kosher to have the same gimmick 2 years in a row?

on or about dec 25, i'll name the 4th best xmas carol.

there are few songs that never fail to pick up my spirits. this might be at the top of the list:

i love you sons of bitches.