my favorite pair of sneakers are gone. a pair of blue suede adidas gazelles are history. the rip lived up to her name ripping out the tongue and the inner sole. they were, old comfortable and fashionably worn. i'll miss those old friends. of the course the rip was too busy flying around the yard and playing keep away with a few tennis balls to accept her verbal reprimand.
losing the shoes isn't the worst part of the incident. the worst part is being reminded every hour what an idiot i am and how many times i've been told not to leave my sneakers lying around. a more petty man would stick a few meatballs into her shoes and let the rip take it from there. this is day 10 in our relationship and i'm beginning to feel a little ripper fatigue. ripper goes insane when i leave the house and i've also had to cut back on my sweets. every time i grab a bag of candy or piece of cake you know who is demanding her share. she's sworn off dog food, instead preferring meat and potatoes. so far she's won the battle of wills. so it goes.
i love you sons of bitches.