Thursday, October 23, 2014

chainification.

a few months back i decided life was too short to put up with the frustration of turning lamps on and off with cheap sub par switches and decided that chains were the way to go. i'm happy to report that chainification has been achieved in the bat nest:

i don't know how i was able to function at such a high level in the past when i was wasting so much time feeling around for knobs to twist that might have been on the right side of the lamp, on the left side of the lamp, at the front of the lamp or at the rear of the lamp. now i just pull the fucking chain and through the magic of renewable hydro electricity, my world is illuminated. i feel right at home in the illuminati. they're a bunch of real swell guys.

now that i'm illuminated, i decided that i needed some illustrations of dune so i ordered a hardback copy of house atreides to get some maps and illustrations. i plan to read sisterhood of dune and mentats of dune in the very near future and e-readers can't do maps for sour apples. the screen is too small and it's a pain in the neck changing screens. whilst looking for the the cheap copy of house atreides i came across a few first editions of the original "dune." i've been wondering what to buy myself for a retirement gift and a first edition of dune might just fit the bill. a very large fucking bill for a pristine copy.

i love you sons of bitches.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

mexicans

those darned mexicans are up to their old tricks. back in december 2013 a mexican woman was picked up for riding public transit without paying. when the transit cops checked her identity it was discovered that she was in the country illegally and had been ordered deported twice. while in custody she killed herself. so it goes.

all of the politically correct special interest groups jumped on the case and somehow or other it became our fault that she was in the country illegally and decided to kill herself. there were lots of protests by other mexicans and statements from the government of mexico condemning our actions. imagine a lowly country like canada having the temerity to try and enforce their immigration laws. there was such a hue and cry over our actions that an INQUEST WAS CALLED FOR TO LOOK INTO HER DEATH. these public inquests are not cheap and it's almost a foregone conclusion that the government will be condemned for doing its duty:

"This coroner's jury listened to six days of evidence and it is absolutely crystal clear that they understood that Canada Border Services had made just so many mistakes, had so many problems that contributed to the death of Lucia Vega Jimenez."

what really bugs me is not one politician has the guts to stand up and say, "oh fuck off, she killed herself. blame mexico for having a shithole of a country she was trying to escape."

but who gives a shit. hockey season has started and our mighty 'nucks are undefeated at the moment. 3 wins, zero losses! and hockey is a very classy sport!

if mexicans and hockey aren't your cup of tea, how about HITLER'S SEX LIFE??? i kinda believe the bit about hitler having his niece crap and piss on him.

i love you sons of bitches.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

legitimate threat or hysteria?

the ebola adventure is getting quite interesting. disputes over funding, disputes over quarantines, disputes over transmission, disputes over vaccine etc etc etc. what's a poor boy to believe? here in the great white north we've been immune from most of the world's problems. someone mentioned an economic meltdown a few years ago but from what i've experienced, there was no economic crisis. just more hysteria. here is the photo that has caught my attention regarding the ebola situation:

the above is a photo taken from the christian science monitor so i tend to believe it's authenticity. it's a convoy transporting one nurse suspected of carrying the ebola virus in spain. several ambulances with an escort of police in cars and on motorcycles. why the heavily protected convoy to transport one suspected person with the virus to an isolation facility? do they think the nurse might escape captivity and roam the countryside infecting innocent people helter skelter? do they suspect some terrorist group might kidnap her and drop her onto the world trade center? or are the spanish authorities a bunch of nervous nellies?

i don't know the answers to these questions but i thought it was a real cool photo.

on a more pleasant note, a gaggle of indonesians got together and rescued a bale of sea turtles:

indonesia is infested with muslims so i'm guessing they were in on the good deed. imagine if those ISIS renegades were to lay down their weapons for a day and launch an effort to save a few loggerhead turtles in the mediterannean. does anyone have the email address of the guy in charge of ISIS so i can put forth my suggestion? i smell a nobel peace prize for your favorite pilgrim. my mentor, eliot rosewater, will be pleased as punch.

so take a deep breath, forget about ebola, imprint the picture of sea turtles on your brain and enjoy the moment. the world is a beautiful place.

i love you sons of bitches.