we've been in a drought all summer and if the weatherman is correct it's all going to come to an end tomorrow, heavy rain! last night panic set in, i hadn't cleaned the gutters all summer waiting for some cool weather because i didn't want to climb up on the roof in the hot sun. there was a tremendous amount of shit on the roof that i'm sure would have plugged the down pipes resulting in watering backing up the roof and spilling over the gutters. i took 3 plastic grocery bags with me but quickly realized that i'd need at least 5 bags. i was in a quandary since about the hardest part of the job is climbing down from the roof when the ladder is fully extended and very shaky. i decided to fill my 3 bags and toss the rest over the edge. adding to my stress was a certain dog whining and wanting to aid in the fun. she likes to follow me everywhere but she can't climb ladders for sour apples. i'm happy to report the dirty job is done.
in my drinking days the job would have been done long ago. how so you say? way back when i had this crazy sense of justice. if i did some chores, i could go out and get loaded with a clear conscience. i ended up getting a lot of stuff accomplished because being heavily into alcohol, i'd do almost anything to justify my evil ways. the good news was i got a lot of stuff done, the bad news is i usually had a hangover and of course spending time in bars costs a pretty penny.
here's the crazy part of my drinking, i always had a plan B in case things went wrong. it didn't matter how fucked up things got in my life i always had plan B to fall back on. my plan B was to quit drinking. quit drinking and the world would be my oyster. when i quit drinking, losing plan B was a problem. it was my crutch, how the fuck could i get depressed when there was always plan B to straighten things out. when i quit drinking plan B didn't really live up to my expectations. the problems didn't go away and i had no fucking plan B to fall back on. but at least the hangovers were gone and it's funny how much money you end up with in your wallet when alcohol is removed from the equation.
then one day i got a new plan B. fuck it, i could start drinking again. i still have a cupboard full of jack daniels and single malt. so plan B is within reach in case of emergency. so i got that going for me too, which is real nice.
i love you sons of bitches.