the feckin roof is still going nowhere fast. one of the downsides to this is ruby can't do her business in the yard when the roofers are wandering around so i've been walking her 4 times a day. i love walking behind her with a plastic bag and picking up her treasures. today something happened that only a dog owner can appreciate. ruby was having a large bowel movement and things were going well but she couldn't finish her business. it turned out she had eaten a piece of string and it was hanging out of her arse. i used my plastic bag to pull it out. i was pretty long. then i had to pick up the rest of her treasure. if i only had a camera at the time.
yesterday the roofers tore the top off the flat carport roof. it's one of those fecking tar and gravel deals. it turned out that the wood under the tar was rotten so all that crap has to be replaced.
i smile when i recall the doctor's office and ruby's string but i ain't smiling about that feckin roof.
i love you sons of bitches.
15 comments:
lordy! I laughed out loud about the cracker factory remark.
But I spewed mocha out my nosed and choked on the string incident.
Geez for those guys yours is the roof that keeps on giving. You have my sympathy. Wish you had Malachi Constant's money.
It seems you are a victim of a series of accidents... as are we all.
Big grin.
yer right about the accidents, unfortunately some accidents are better than others.
sorry about the mocha.
i carved my initials in the doctors door with a good luck piece i found a while back.
hot damn they have trashed and smashed that roof!
I have unfortunately done the 'string thing' on more than one occasion...and the broken rubber band thing, and the partially digested jelly bean thing, and...well, you get the idea.
Nothing like butt nuggets served with a side dish and a little assistance (YUCK)
AHAHA!!..You don't have to go with Ruby on her walks.
You could just tie the string to the front porch,and she could find her own way home.
Bummer about the roof nastiness.
Oh i soooo know what your talking about with the string..one time my neighbor fed Bill all the turkey bones from her turkey(i didn't know it) and he couldnt crap..his bowls were solid bone waste..i had to don a pair of plastic gloves and pull it out of his ass..my kids were totally grossed out...i said i would do it for them if they needed it why not the dog..
i'd tell the roofers that they had 3 days to fix the roof right or i was letting ruby at them...i loves you too ....
rocky - i suspect someone in the house has been dipping strings in gravy to make my life more difficult. i know someone has a duplicate key. i'm ordering that the whole house be searched for that key.
sling - know any good carpenters?
yellowdog - did you stick the solid bone waste up bill arse???
Homer gets the string/hair hanging out his ass all the time. I can totally relate.
Bummer about the roof. But I am glad Ruby gets to walk 4 times a day.
I have ti say, I'm thankful you did not have a camera!
Nice post! Keep up up the excellent work!!
COMMON CENTS
http://www.commoncts.blogspot.com
ps. Link Exchange/?
operative word: 'flat'
not n louisiana, not n bc
sage - it's like birthday cake with surprises baked inside.
citizen - i need one of those cell phones with a camera.
uno - flat is flat and never the twain shall meet.
I know a good roofer that will work for beer, lots of beer. I don't think his pickup will make it all the way up there though.
You should have left the string and used it as a leash.
"Hey Mr., that's not how you're suppose to walk your dog!"
no...i removed it from his arse..had to put my finger up there and pull it out..he was in so much pain..
As long as you are sure it was just a string and not... something else.
Post a Comment