gimme air

does anyone remember the old shell with platformate ads from the 60's?



i'm not sure if these commercials were on the up and up. they probably weren't. but i can tell you that air pressure in your tires has a 100% effect on gas mileage.

the air pressure in my bicycle will very slowly go down as i happily pedal my way around the city. it goes down so slowly that you don't notice anything from day to day until one day a light goes on your head that things ain't right. time to squeeze the tires. sure enough they've lost a little air. after filling them up the difference is like night and day. i have a few little hills that i'll coast down and see how far the black addder will roll. the rolling distance with hard vs soft tires is substantially greater.

hard is good ;)

i love you properly inflated sons of bitches.

buy nothing day

did you think i forgot?

november 26 is BUY NOTHING DAY!!!!!!

for all my international readers, november 27 is buy nothing day.

look around your house. how much useless crap have you bought on an impulse or been brainwashed by some fancy advertising campaign to buy. i've got tons of clothes i rarely wear but in my own defense most of them were purchased second hand at value village. after years of being a value village shopper i've finally learned to stop buying stuff just because it looks cool.

on another note, the canadian jewish congress has FORCED CANADA'S LARGEST DRUG STORE CHAIN TO PULL ADBUSTERS OFF THE SHELF!

what did adbusters do you ask?

they had the temerity to note some striking similarities between the Warsaw ghetto in Nazi-occupied Poland during World War II and the open air prison of Gaza in Israeli-occupied Palestine today.

adbusters might be my favorite magazine but in my new found maturity i'll forgo any anti semitic comments.

i love all you non shopping sons of bitches on the 26th and 27th.

arse don't fail me now....

i was a very brave little soldier today. it was time to take one up the arse, the old prostate check.

about a year ago my long time family doctor flew the coop and i had to find a new doctor. the old doctor was a woman and the new doctor is a man. for some funny reason i feel more comfortable having a woman poke me in the arse than a man. so it goes.

i'm happy to say the old prostate is in good shape and i now feel as though i know the new doctor a little better. all the blood work came back fine too. i laid off the candy and ice cream for a day before getting my blood taken and since there was cholesterol test involved i had to fast for 12 hours. i had a big bag of ju jubes waiting for me in the car. i skipped breakfast before today's ordeal and had a pair of giant chocolate chip cookies from my favorite bakery waiting for me in the car.



arse be fine, blood be fine, urine be fine........

so i got all that going for me too, which is nice.

i love you sons of bitches.

lest we forget

today is remembrance day in canada. it commemorates the end of the first world war. my dad was in the second world war but he uses the occasion to put on his medals and my mother uses the occasion to call him an asshole and tell him to take the medals off.

it seems i made the same marriage mistake as dear old dad.

thinking of the war makes me think of this.

First they came for the Jews
and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for the communists
and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist.

Then they came for the trade unionists
and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for me -
and by then there was no one left to speak out for me.

more importantly it give me an excuse to post this...



i love you sons of bitches

the flu shot

my corporeal shell has been on the fritz lately. first i got this motherfeckin rash on my back that's taking it's sweet time to go away. i'd been falling down a little more than usual in the past month so i was told to take more drugs. i like drugs so that wasn't a problem but a rash appeared and that was a problem. i was told it was fungul rash and told to put some $35 cream on it. the lovely mrs myshkin told me to piss off when i asked her to apply the cream so i've been paying the fast food princess to put it on. the rash didn't go away so i sought another opinion and was told it was eczema. of course i've been prescribed some steroidal cream so i'm back to paying the fast food princess to put it on. so it goes.

i got a flu shot on my last appointment. i asked my new doctor if flu shots were any good. he smiled and told me they might or might not work. i then asked him if he had a flu shot. he said no. i then asked him if they were free. he said yes and i said give me 2 of them. he only gave me one shot and explained that even though they might not be any good he gives them to patients who ask for them because they do no harm. he then sent me to the lab for a shit load of tests and told me to come back in 2 weeks. so it goes.



i'm falling apart faster than a dodge mini van.

feckin cops

COPS BEAT UP INNOCENT MAN

earlier this year 2 of vancouver's answered a complaint of a woman being beaten by her drunk husband. they knocked on the wrong door in the middle of night and not wanting to call it a complete waste of time they decided to beat the shit out of the guy that answered the door.

dIn the early hours of Jan. 21, Wu was allegedly dragged out of his house on Lanark Street and beaten by two police officers in plain clothes.

Wu suffered fractures to his face and injuries to his legs and back. His eyes were swollen shut.

after the incident was reported in the news the chief constable of vancouver called a news conference and apologized calling the incident unfortunate. so they called in a neighboring police department to investigate. the investigation concluded that the police acted in a reasonable manner.

to sum up:
- 2 cops knock on the door of the wrong house in the middle of the night.
- a skinny asian guy answers the door and tells them they have the wrong address.
- the cops don't like the attitude of the skinny asian guy they woke up in the middle of the night and beat the shit out of him.
- after a public outcry the chief cop apologizes and calls for an investigation.
- neighboring police force investigate and find no wrong doing.

have i ever mentioned that i don't like cops?