my very good friend leonard myshkin is giving facebook a try. he's been on it for about a week and just can't figure it out. he's ran into a few old friends which is nice but there has to be something missing or maybe my good buddy leonard is just plain old retarded.
leonard's first reaction was, "how is the hell is thing worth 50 billion bucks?" there just doesn't seem to be a lot of meat on the bones. then he noticed all the ads on the side, much more intrusive than hotmail. one of the big deals seems to be that people make quick little comments or cut and paste some crap then all their friends take a quick gander and rather than taking the time for a witty reply they can click on "like". then the light went on in leonard's little brain. the facebook boys monitor everything the rubes do on their cash machine and build data bases on all the members. how convenient to have a record of all the stuff people like. it makes targeting ads all the more profitable.
the other thing good old leonard noticed was that when reading newspapers on-line somehow the facebook deal followed him and he was all set up to make comments on articles even though he hadn't registered with the paper. facebook is monitoring all leonard's travels in cyber space. how fucking nice. another group of dickheads monitoring us.
in any case, old leonard myshkin could always use a few friends if you're so inclined.
did she mention leonard's name?
i love you sons of bitches. (so does leonard)
Monday, May 30, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
worse than the dentist?
what is worse than 2 hours in the dentist's chair?
5 hours at a chinese wedding with a 10 course meal. the food just kept coming and coming and coming and noise just kept getting louder and louder and louder.
i've been to a few of things in the past couple of years and it seems like there is some sort of contest to serve the most food. i skipped several courses knowing that i had to pace myself but there were some people that could have won a hot dog eating contest. there was one fat guy that looked just like larry david and it appeared that he had been starving himself for weeks. he was like a machine devouring crab legs and lobster tails. i hope the pig has a stomach ache this morning.
when we arrived and read the agenda telling us it was going to be a 6 hour marathon i let out a louder than planned "fuck me" drawing several looks and the old hate stare from the lovely mrs myshkin. at the 3 hour mark i vowed never to attend one of these things again but i've made that vow in the past only to be talked into attending the next one.
at the 5 hour mark a chinese elvis impersonator took the stage. that's when i laid down the law and said get me out of here.
i love you sons of bitches.
i would have much rather had a good peanut butter and jam sandwich. so it goes.
on a much more important note, it's INTERNATIONAL TURTLE DAY!
5 hours at a chinese wedding with a 10 course meal. the food just kept coming and coming and coming and noise just kept getting louder and louder and louder.
i've been to a few of things in the past couple of years and it seems like there is some sort of contest to serve the most food. i skipped several courses knowing that i had to pace myself but there were some people that could have won a hot dog eating contest. there was one fat guy that looked just like larry david and it appeared that he had been starving himself for weeks. he was like a machine devouring crab legs and lobster tails. i hope the pig has a stomach ache this morning.
when we arrived and read the agenda telling us it was going to be a 6 hour marathon i let out a louder than planned "fuck me" drawing several looks and the old hate stare from the lovely mrs myshkin. at the 3 hour mark i vowed never to attend one of these things again but i've made that vow in the past only to be talked into attending the next one.
at the 5 hour mark a chinese elvis impersonator took the stage. that's when i laid down the law and said get me out of here.
i love you sons of bitches.
i would have much rather had a good peanut butter and jam sandwich. so it goes.
on a much more important note, it's INTERNATIONAL TURTLE DAY!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
teefs don't fail me now.
the week before last i had my first dental appointment to repair the damage from pilfering a few easter jujubes. it was such a painful and stressful ordeal that i've been unable to post anything about it until now. i have to see the dentist on thursday to get the whole thing put back together.
i was booked for a 2 hour appointment so i knew there would be a smidgen of pain involved. i was in the chair at 9:00 ready to meet my maker. i got my shot of freezing and fun began. as soon as she started drilling i almost jumped out of the chair. i needed more freezing. after getting another shot and waiting a few minutes she started drilling and again i almost jumped out of the chair so she had to give me more freezing. she was a little miffed and wasn't gentle giving me the third shot of freezing. this time it worked and the fun began. she was drilling and chiseling away and things were progressing pretty good until something happened at 10:00.
THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM WENT OFF!!! i kid you not, the fucking fire alarm went off!
she kept working thinking it was some sort of a test but the bells started getting louder and more frequent so we had to evacuate. i had to walk down 6 flights of stairs with a frozen mouth and a molar that was half gone. it was raining when we left the building and took our places among all the other evacuees. it took about 10 minutes for the fire truck to arrive and another 10 minutes for the firemen to walk around the building, look up and decide there was no fire then another 10 minutes to tell us there was no fire and we could go back in.
so i had to walk up 6 flights of stairs with a sore mouth and a feeling that the fun was just beginning. by now the dentist was 30 minutes behind schedule so all her goodness and loving kindness was out the window not to mention she was huffing and puffing from walking up 6 flights of stairs. the freezing was coming out by the time she was finished and i was not happy.
so it's back to the scene of the crime on thursday. in preparation for the ordeal i bought myself a little treat for after the appointment.
2 feckin lindt chocolate easter bunnies to eat as soon as i get into the mighty sonata and turn on the stereo. ah, the cadillac of chocolates!
note to self, don't park in the sun. wouldn't want the bunnies to melt.
i love you sons of bitches.
i was booked for a 2 hour appointment so i knew there would be a smidgen of pain involved. i was in the chair at 9:00 ready to meet my maker. i got my shot of freezing and fun began. as soon as she started drilling i almost jumped out of the chair. i needed more freezing. after getting another shot and waiting a few minutes she started drilling and again i almost jumped out of the chair so she had to give me more freezing. she was a little miffed and wasn't gentle giving me the third shot of freezing. this time it worked and the fun began. she was drilling and chiseling away and things were progressing pretty good until something happened at 10:00.
THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM WENT OFF!!! i kid you not, the fucking fire alarm went off!
she kept working thinking it was some sort of a test but the bells started getting louder and more frequent so we had to evacuate. i had to walk down 6 flights of stairs with a frozen mouth and a molar that was half gone. it was raining when we left the building and took our places among all the other evacuees. it took about 10 minutes for the fire truck to arrive and another 10 minutes for the firemen to walk around the building, look up and decide there was no fire then another 10 minutes to tell us there was no fire and we could go back in.
so i had to walk up 6 flights of stairs with a sore mouth and a feeling that the fun was just beginning. by now the dentist was 30 minutes behind schedule so all her goodness and loving kindness was out the window not to mention she was huffing and puffing from walking up 6 flights of stairs. the freezing was coming out by the time she was finished and i was not happy.
so it's back to the scene of the crime on thursday. in preparation for the ordeal i bought myself a little treat for after the appointment.
2 feckin lindt chocolate easter bunnies to eat as soon as i get into the mighty sonata and turn on the stereo. ah, the cadillac of chocolates!
note to self, don't park in the sun. wouldn't want the bunnies to melt.
i love you sons of bitches.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
old man's war
i just finished reading old man's war and found it to be an excellent sci fi read.
the main premise behind the book is old people being rejuvenated and turned into soldiers. here's the deal:
at age 65 you sign up to be rejuvenated at age 75. you get a totally excellent new body that is in its prime, age 25, but of course there is a catch. the catch is you have to sign up with the colonial defense forces for a period of 2 years. there is a little fine print that says the term can be extended to 10 years at the option of the CDF, colonial defense force. all terms get extended to 10 years. the CDF fights all sorts of blood thirsty aliens and there is a 60% chance that you will be killed before the term is up. if you survive the fighting they give you a civilian body and you can become a colonist somewhere in the universe but not on earth.
the new soldiers get a week to play with their new bodies before being sent off to boot camp. guess what the main activity is in the week of fun, sex! the old farts are horny as old rat shit!
would you sign up for a fabulous new body and agree to become a soldier?
i love you sons of bitches.
the main premise behind the book is old people being rejuvenated and turned into soldiers. here's the deal:
at age 65 you sign up to be rejuvenated at age 75. you get a totally excellent new body that is in its prime, age 25, but of course there is a catch. the catch is you have to sign up with the colonial defense forces for a period of 2 years. there is a little fine print that says the term can be extended to 10 years at the option of the CDF, colonial defense force. all terms get extended to 10 years. the CDF fights all sorts of blood thirsty aliens and there is a 60% chance that you will be killed before the term is up. if you survive the fighting they give you a civilian body and you can become a colonist somewhere in the universe but not on earth.
the new soldiers get a week to play with their new bodies before being sent off to boot camp. guess what the main activity is in the week of fun, sex! the old farts are horny as old rat shit!
would you sign up for a fabulous new body and agree to become a soldier?
i love you sons of bitches.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
phoney baloney
so there was NO LIVE FOOTAGE OF BIN LADEN BEING OFFED
and the photo of obama and his cronies watching the action was A FECKIN FAKE
all this leads to one question:
who is calling the shots, obama or his spin doctors?
how about an even bigger fraud?
stephen harper, canada's prime minister, WEARS A FECKIN TOUPEE!
i'm only 93% sure that my boy harper wears a toupee and i must confess the above picture is as phoney as obama and his crew watching the assassination but i love the story.
ALL POLITICIANS LIE!
i love you sons of bitches.
and the photo of obama and his cronies watching the action was A FECKIN FAKE
all this leads to one question:
who is calling the shots, obama or his spin doctors?
how about an even bigger fraud?
stephen harper, canada's prime minister, WEARS A FECKIN TOUPEE!
i'm only 93% sure that my boy harper wears a toupee and i must confess the above picture is as phoney as obama and his crew watching the assassination but i love the story.
ALL POLITICIANS LIE!
i love you sons of bitches.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
two thoughts
1. the whole of the global economy is based on supplying the cravings of two per cent of the world's population: mikhail gorbachev.
2. suddenly obama is a hero because a seal shot a muslim in the head, so it goes: billy pilgrim.
i like short posts, both to write and to read.
i love you sons of bitches
2. suddenly obama is a hero because a seal shot a muslim in the head, so it goes: billy pilgrim.
i like short posts, both to write and to read.
i love you sons of bitches
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
bin laden
i can't resist putting in my 2 cents worth: (an international perspective)
big fucking deal.
10 years and billions of dollars to catch a guy who as it turns out was right under their noses. we kept hearing about bin laden cowering in a cave but he was found in a pretty nice compound 50 miles away from all the amenities.
how did they find him? a courier was dropping off a package addressed to mr osama been laughing and noticed he looked a little familiar. a quick check on his blackberry and a $25,000,000.00 reward pops up.
in case you missed it, here's how obama caught osama:
i love you sons of bitches.
p.s. - if i have offended any americans by insulting your president feel free to insult our beloved canadian prime minister ad infinitum ;)
big fucking deal.
10 years and billions of dollars to catch a guy who as it turns out was right under their noses. we kept hearing about bin laden cowering in a cave but he was found in a pretty nice compound 50 miles away from all the amenities.
how did they find him? a courier was dropping off a package addressed to mr osama been laughing and noticed he looked a little familiar. a quick check on his blackberry and a $25,000,000.00 reward pops up.
in case you missed it, here's how obama caught osama:
i love you sons of bitches.
p.s. - if i have offended any americans by insulting your president feel free to insult our beloved canadian prime minister ad infinitum ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)