wow, it seems like just yesterday that i was droning on about the fool with the motorized bicycle. how time flies.
have i ever told you sons of bitches why i love you?
i love you sons of bitches because you never point out all the grammatical mistakes and missing words from my posts. i'm usually multitasking or arguing with ruby while composing these wee epistles and don't bother proof reading. even when i do a little proof reading i usually miss the errors. a few days later i'll take a look at what seemed brilliant a few days earlier and notice all the errors not to mention realizing that my thoughts were light years away from being brilliant. so it goes.
anyone want to trade a pound of smoked hazelnut coffee for a pound of blueberry cinnamon? the blueberry cinnamon is gone and smoked hazelnut seemed like a more manly coffee so i laid down my 8 bucks and picked up bag. it's ok but it's no godiva chocolate! i'll be returning to chocolate next purchase.
i think you sons of bitches might like this....
have i mentioned that i love you sons of bitches?
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
a dream come true
i've always hated those bicycles with small gas engines attached to the frames. they usually make a lot of noise and spew a lot of noxious smoke. whenever one of the abominations ruins the peace and tranquility in the park i have a strong urge to toss a stick into its spokes.
today whilst riding back from the grocery store with a lovely little bag of golden delicious apples a large man on a bike came around the corner and almost hit me. i had to slam on my breaks to avoid the collision and was not happy. then i noticed he had a little 2 stroke engine attached to the frame of his bike. the anger microchip in my brain overruled the logic microchip on my brain and i called him a fucking idiot. had the logic microchip been working i would have taken into account the fact that he was about 100 pounds heavier than me and about 25 years younger than me. so it goes.
have you ever noticed that fucking idiots get upset when you call them fucking idiots? baby huey got upset and started swearing at me and with my anger microchip thoroughly in charge of my brain i one upped him and included his physical attributes and questionable intelligence in my colorful retort. we had a big stare down and he got off his bike. luckily my logic microchip regained control and i rode off but i couldn't resist one last comment; "you fat lazy shit, why don't you try using your pedals." i looked back several times to see if he was following me but he was nowhere to be found.
i usually regret these crazy outbursts but this time i'm very happy that i told baby huey what a fucking idiot he was.
i love you sons of bitches.
today whilst riding back from the grocery store with a lovely little bag of golden delicious apples a large man on a bike came around the corner and almost hit me. i had to slam on my breaks to avoid the collision and was not happy. then i noticed he had a little 2 stroke engine attached to the frame of his bike. the anger microchip in my brain overruled the logic microchip on my brain and i called him a fucking idiot. had the logic microchip been working i would have taken into account the fact that he was about 100 pounds heavier than me and about 25 years younger than me. so it goes.
have you ever noticed that fucking idiots get upset when you call them fucking idiots? baby huey got upset and started swearing at me and with my anger microchip thoroughly in charge of my brain i one upped him and included his physical attributes and questionable intelligence in my colorful retort. we had a big stare down and he got off his bike. luckily my logic microchip regained control and i rode off but i couldn't resist one last comment; "you fat lazy shit, why don't you try using your pedals." i looked back several times to see if he was following me but he was nowhere to be found.
i usually regret these crazy outbursts but this time i'm very happy that i told baby huey what a fucking idiot he was.
i love you sons of bitches.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
this and that
i served blueberry cinnamon coffee to a few friends yesterday and they loved it. i didn't tell them it was blueberry cinnamon, no need to make them feel gay.
my harmon kardon receiver started to make the humming noise again. after monkeying around with it for a while i discovered that it's the left surround channel that's making the noise. i've been threatening it for months but this time i followed through! there is no hum in the front channels so i moved it to my bedroom and moved the old harmon kardon to the bat cave. there is a huge difference in power between the 2 receivers but at least there's no fecking humming and the the brute sounds excellent in my bedroom with 2 speakers.
i spent yesterday checking out used receivers on craigslist and found a 2 year old yamaha that would be a good fill in until i make make up my mind just what direction i want to go with new toys. it's a chinese guy selling it and i we are having a big problem hooking up. he wants to meet me in front of a best buy store to make the deal and i want to hear it working before buying it. he can't grasp the concept that i won't take him at his word that everything works. so it goes.
are you sick of the debt ceiling talks?
i love you sons of bitches.
my harmon kardon receiver started to make the humming noise again. after monkeying around with it for a while i discovered that it's the left surround channel that's making the noise. i've been threatening it for months but this time i followed through! there is no hum in the front channels so i moved it to my bedroom and moved the old harmon kardon to the bat cave. there is a huge difference in power between the 2 receivers but at least there's no fecking humming and the the brute sounds excellent in my bedroom with 2 speakers.
i spent yesterday checking out used receivers on craigslist and found a 2 year old yamaha that would be a good fill in until i make make up my mind just what direction i want to go with new toys. it's a chinese guy selling it and i we are having a big problem hooking up. he wants to meet me in front of a best buy store to make the deal and i want to hear it working before buying it. he can't grasp the concept that i won't take him at his word that everything works. so it goes.
are you sick of the debt ceiling talks?
i love you sons of bitches.
Friday, July 15, 2011
the debt ceiling
i didn't want to do it but i guess someone has to solve this little problem. your politicians are a bunch of fucking gutless wonders too busy worrying about offending their base rather than solving the problem.
i will solve your problems gratis, pro bono, no fucking charge......
1. impose a VAT, VALUE ADDED TAX.
shit, most countries have a VAT. it's a tax on consumption. look in the fucking mirror, you fools consume too much!
2. do away with mortgage interest being tax deductible. having mortgages be tax deductible drives up the price of housing and is unfair to renters. it also encourages fools to go deeper into debt. i seem to remember reading something about shitloads of fools taking out huge mortgages and not being able to make the payments. but here's the real reason mortgages should not be tax deductible:
DEBT KILLS! people hate paying taxes and will do almost anything to reduce the amount they of tax they pay. the real winners in mortgages being tax deductible are the banks. with a fractional banking system the banks have oodles of cash to loan and are only too happy to help the rubes save a little tax. more people would pay off their mortgages and gain a little financial freedom if the tax break ceased. the captains of industry want an indebted work force.
one more thing. 51% of you don't pay any income tax. it really rubs me the wrong way when people who pay no tax complain that the people who do pay taxes don't pay enough. of course the politicians have this figured out. shit, we'll raise taxes on the top 2% of the population. that should keep the other 98% happy and we need their votes. i saw bill clinton on tv saying that everyone ought to pay a little tax. but he's not running for office so he can speak the truth.
oh yeah, save money on medicare by not paying for those fucking electric scooters that drive me nuts.
wake up,you were sick, but now you’re well, and there’s work to do!!!
i love you sons of bitches.
remember, winners sign cheques on the back, losers sign cheques on the front.
i will solve your problems gratis, pro bono, no fucking charge......
1. impose a VAT, VALUE ADDED TAX.
shit, most countries have a VAT. it's a tax on consumption. look in the fucking mirror, you fools consume too much!
2. do away with mortgage interest being tax deductible. having mortgages be tax deductible drives up the price of housing and is unfair to renters. it also encourages fools to go deeper into debt. i seem to remember reading something about shitloads of fools taking out huge mortgages and not being able to make the payments. but here's the real reason mortgages should not be tax deductible:
DEBT KILLS! people hate paying taxes and will do almost anything to reduce the amount they of tax they pay. the real winners in mortgages being tax deductible are the banks. with a fractional banking system the banks have oodles of cash to loan and are only too happy to help the rubes save a little tax. more people would pay off their mortgages and gain a little financial freedom if the tax break ceased. the captains of industry want an indebted work force.
one more thing. 51% of you don't pay any income tax. it really rubs me the wrong way when people who pay no tax complain that the people who do pay taxes don't pay enough. of course the politicians have this figured out. shit, we'll raise taxes on the top 2% of the population. that should keep the other 98% happy and we need their votes. i saw bill clinton on tv saying that everyone ought to pay a little tax. but he's not running for office so he can speak the truth.
oh yeah, save money on medicare by not paying for those fucking electric scooters that drive me nuts.
wake up,you were sick, but now you’re well, and there’s work to do!!!
i love you sons of bitches.
remember, winners sign cheques on the back, losers sign cheques on the front.
Friday, July 8, 2011
TTRH-3
after months of trying i finally got TTRH-3 and i'm loving it.
in case you're wondering just what TTRH-3 is, WONDER NO MORE
if you're a dylan fan TTRH is a must listen. i've been listening to seasons 1 and 2 for about a year and season 3 has been fabulous. i'm saving the last episode, "goodbye", for a special occasion.
if you're not a dylan fan perhaps this will tickle your fancy, DON'T FLATULATE ON A SCHOOL BUS IN AMERICA
and if that's not enough i offer a cure for homosexuality!
i love you sons of bitches but not as much as i love norah jones.
in case you're wondering just what TTRH-3 is, WONDER NO MORE
if you're a dylan fan TTRH is a must listen. i've been listening to seasons 1 and 2 for about a year and season 3 has been fabulous. i'm saving the last episode, "goodbye", for a special occasion.
if you're not a dylan fan perhaps this will tickle your fancy, DON'T FLATULATE ON A SCHOOL BUS IN AMERICA
and if that's not enough i offer a cure for homosexuality!
i love you sons of bitches but not as much as i love norah jones.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Moral Collapse of a Nation
without a doubt, ADBUSTERS is my favorite magazine. i was trying to find the marquess of queensbury rules for torture. so who you gonna call, adbusters!
They are divided into three categories, each of which comprises several degrees of intensity: preparatory (nakedness, manipulated feeding, sleep deprivation), corrective (blows) and coercive (being hosed with water, locked in boxes, or subjected to torture by immersion). Slaps on the face must be administered by the fingers spread out, halfway between the tip of the chin and the bottom of the earlobe. Hosing a naked prisoner with water can last for 20 minutes if the water is at 5°C, 40 if it is at 10°C, and up to 60 if it is 15°C. Sleep deprivation must not last longer than 180 hours, but, after 8 hours’ rest, they can begin again. Torture by immersion can last up to 12 seconds, no more than 2 hours per day, for 30 consecutive days (a particularly tough prisoner underwent this torture 183 times over, in March 2003). A prisoner should not be locked in a box for more than 2 hours, but if the box allows the prisoner to stand upright, he can stay there up to eight hours at a stretch, 18 hours per day. If you put an insect in with him, you cannot tell the prisoner that its sting will be extremely painful or indeed deadly. And so on and so forth, for page after page.
this comes from Moral Collapse of a Nation, another quality adbuster story.
oh yeah, happy birthday to the country in moral collapse.
here's ruby guarding my tomato plant.
i love you sons of bitches.
They are divided into three categories, each of which comprises several degrees of intensity: preparatory (nakedness, manipulated feeding, sleep deprivation), corrective (blows) and coercive (being hosed with water, locked in boxes, or subjected to torture by immersion). Slaps on the face must be administered by the fingers spread out, halfway between the tip of the chin and the bottom of the earlobe. Hosing a naked prisoner with water can last for 20 minutes if the water is at 5°C, 40 if it is at 10°C, and up to 60 if it is 15°C. Sleep deprivation must not last longer than 180 hours, but, after 8 hours’ rest, they can begin again. Torture by immersion can last up to 12 seconds, no more than 2 hours per day, for 30 consecutive days (a particularly tough prisoner underwent this torture 183 times over, in March 2003). A prisoner should not be locked in a box for more than 2 hours, but if the box allows the prisoner to stand upright, he can stay there up to eight hours at a stretch, 18 hours per day. If you put an insect in with him, you cannot tell the prisoner that its sting will be extremely painful or indeed deadly. And so on and so forth, for page after page.
this comes from Moral Collapse of a Nation, another quality adbuster story.
oh yeah, happy birthday to the country in moral collapse.
here's ruby guarding my tomato plant.
i love you sons of bitches.
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