this past week marked ruby's 9th anniversary with the myskins. she was an orphan from the shelter and were told that she was a lab cross and wouldn't grow much bigger than the 35 pounds she was at the time of adoption.
it soon became apparent that she wasn't a lab cross and was going to weigh considerably more than 35 pounds. she was a totally wild street urchin when we took her home. at first i thought she was part harmonium the way she attached herself to the nearest human and had to be pried loose. when i took her outside to pee she was more interested in eating bugs. i guess bugs were part of her diet living on the streets.
that was then, this is now. the old girl is definitely slowing down.
a few weeks ago i was buying a lovely bag of golden delicious apples at a beat up old supermarket that has very good prices. i had painstakingly selected near perfect specimens; rock hard and no bruising. when the cashier put them on the scale and punched in the code they came up on the screen as red delicious. the cashier was an elderly asian woman with poor eyesight. she picked up the apples held them to her face and determined that they weren't red. she voided the transaction and put them back on the scale, none to gently. again she put in the wrong code but couldn't void the transaction. she kept taking them off and putting them back on the scale and trying different codes. all the time i was cringing every time she slammed them on the scale. finally i told her that i didn't want the apples anymore because she was bruising the living crap out of them and i walked off uttering a few colorful words. after getting home i felt a little guilty over the way i had acted.
a few days ago i went back and found some lovely granny smith apples. again i painstakingly picked out some fine specimens and headed to the checkout. son of a bitch, the same woman was on the cashier. i was feeling a little sheepish over my little tantrum the last time i tried to buy apples and hoped she wouldn't recognize me. she picked up my apples, slammed them on the scale and entered the code. son of bitch if she didn't punch in the code for red delicious apples again. she took the apples off the scale and held to her face and figured out that they weren't red. i was no longer feeling sheepish and was ready to really tell her what a feckin idiot she was but the second time she got the code right and i was on my way. my apples were slightly bruised but my guilt was gone.
i wonder how many feckin apples she' bruised in her career?
i read somewhere that us humans have a lot of water in our shells and we need a lot of the stuff to maintain and cleanse our shells so i guess this might be a problem that should be addressed. the west coast of british columbia is often referred to as a rain forest. we have lots of trees and it rains a lot so the label of rain forest isn't far off the mark.
we take our water very serious up here. years ago when the free trade agreement with the united states was being hammered out the main concern of ordinary working canadians was water. for as long as i can remember people have always worried about "those fucking americans want our water." we didn't really worry about jobs and commerce it was the water we wanted to protect.
i don't think we have a water infrastructure problem in the lower mainland of british columbia because we're always building something to keep care of the water and it ain't cheap. i pay about $1150 per year for water and sewage. it's probably a good deal because we have beautifully fresh drinkable water coming out of our taps. it's a mystery to me why people around here pay for bottled water. i guess they have more money than brains. right now we're drilling a hole in a local mountain to keep up with the demand for water and we're always ripping up roads to put in new water pipes. funny thing, people never complain about the cost of maintaining our water infrastructure. raise the gas tax 2 cents per litre and all hell will break loose but raise water rates a few hundred bucks and nobody bats an eyelash.
so here's my question, what do you pay for your water and what is the quality? do you drink tap water and can your kids turn on the outside tap on a hot day and drink water out of the garden hose. would the tea party agree to a tax that would be directed towards maintaining your water supply?
since i love you sons of bitches i'm going to dispense some free financial advice.
bear in mind that you get what you pay for.
1. fuck financial advisers. i know lots of real smart people who trust their money to financial advisers who are less intelligent than themselves. most financial advisers are salesmen. they are selling their services and are only too happy to put you into a mutual fund that will pay them a trailer fee for as long as you hold the investment. don't be lazy, do your own homework.
2. fuck diversification. the answer is simple, only buy the good stuff. history has proven that companies paying dividends and that have a record of increasing dividends have been the best performers by a large margin.
3. fuck risk. stick to companies with a sustainable business model. avoid companies that have to spend large amounts of money just to keep their market share. two examples are high tech companies and gold miners. high tech companies have to continually come up with new products and the competition is fierce. gold mines have a depleting resource and are constantly spending money on exploration and development with no assurance of success. well run banks and pipelines are good examples of sustainable business models. pipelines are my favorite because in addition to being sustainable there are huge barriers to entry by competitors. you don't wake up one morning and decide to build a pipeline. i'm talking oil and nat gas pipelines not pharmaceuticals with a product pipeline.
4. fuck greed. this one is this most important. don't get greedy, take what the market will give you. remember; bears make money, bulls make money and pigs get slaughtered. i've learned that if your goal is to make a return of 5% per year you'll probably make 10% but if your goal is to make 10% per year you'll be lucky to make 5% and stand a good chance of losing money.
5. fuck complexity. leverage and margin are for the pros and don't even think about foreign exchange.
6. fuck depending on your investments. i've noticed that people relying on investment income perform much more poorly than those who don't depend on an income from the market. never touch your principal.
7. fuck envy. don't compete with a friend who got lucky and had a big winner.
some bitter people continually complain about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. well guess what, the rich are usually smarter and almost always work harder.
of course you could copy my good friend noel constant and buy companies based on the bible. start at the beginning of the bible and invest in companies with symbols that match the narrative of the good book. you'll get rich but your son will piss it all away end up being called unk.
fuck that was long winded.
mr shife inspired me to find this, pay close attention if you want to get rich!
this past weekend marked the passing of another year for you know who.
can anyone guess what the lovely mrs myshkin had to say???
how about who gives a shit!
if she was speaking to me that might have been her reaction.
in any case i've made through 56 years. if you divide 56 by 2 you'll end up with 28 and that's a birthday i'll never forget. leading up to my 28th birthday my friends were daring me to drink 28 cans of beer to mark the occasion. since i wasn't a girly boy scrapbooker i accepted the challenge. it was a real hot day so i had a good thirst. truth be told i'm not sure if i made to 28 or not but i'll never forget how i felt the next day. my whole body ached and i felt like death warmed over, i may have had alcohol poisoning. that was the last time i tried to drink my age.
i had a little herbal refreshment and watched a few episodes of battlestar galactica. battlestar has the coolest soundtrack and i didn't spare the decibels.
56, if that isn't nice, what is?
i love you sons of bitches.
(did you notice charlie brown's tomato plant up top?)
