pipelines

it seems like just yesterday that the keystone pipeline was a big story and everyone was throwing in their 2 cents worth on either its merits or its potential for disaster. obumble took the coward's way out and put off a decision until after the election. so it goes.

now we in the great white north have become embroiled in our own pipeline war. some political and oil industry bigshots want to build a pipeline from the oil sands to the west coast in order to ship the stuff to asia and the provinces are fighting over the money. there are plenty of enviromentalists against the pipeline and of course our indians are screaming bloody murder until they get their share of the money being tossed around.

we in british columbia have a premier, christy clark, who is very unpopular. in the past i've called her a bloodless cunt and other nasty names. but now the the fair christy has PICKED A FIGHT WITH ALBERTA AND OTTAWA over the pipeline money.

christy clark is a real loudmouthed aggressive woman. i would always curse and turn off the tv or radio when i heard her voice but now that she's picking a fight with alberta and telling ottawa to go fuck themselves i'm suddenly smitten with the fair christy. i might even forgive her for not answering my emails about the turtle genocide that took place a few months ago.

we in british columbia aren't so much worried about the pipeline but we're very concerned about the 600 super tankers that would be sailing up and down our rugged coastline each year. 600 super tankers a year X 20 years = 12,000 ships full of oil. i think there's a very strong possibility that one of the ships will spill it's cargo onto our coastline.

here's a left wing view on christy's oil tanker position before she took a stand.



i might just fall in love with the bitch.

busted!

just when you thought law enforcement couldn't get any more bizarre the american border guards busted 2 of their citizens for SMUGGLING KINDER SURPRISE EGGS!

that's right, 2 men were popped for smuggling 6 pieces of candy deemed to be safety hazards to children. it seems the american government decided that their children were too fucking stupid to be trusted with a small chocolate egg containing a plastic toy. of course i'm too mature to make reference to their culture of turning children into obese drug addicts. i'm also too mature to comment on the fact their society will empower almost any nitwit to possess automatic firearms whilst banning kinder surprises.

one of my favorite heinlein quotes is: "don't handicap your children by making their lives easy". when my kids were about 6 years old i'd take them to the local building supply store and let them pick out anything they wanted from the scrap pieces of wood being sold for a pittance. then i'd turn them lose in the workshop with hammers and nails. they also had unfettered access to power tools.

that's the problem today, we refuse to cull the herd. instead, we pamper and protect the little monsters. so it goes.

on a more pleasant note, the brothers karamazov arrived yesterday and i'm tickled pink with what i received.




i love you sons of bitches.

funny money.

earlier this year our federal government decided it was time to put the lowly penny out of it's misery. the penny will die a slow death. they haven't been taken out of circulation. they have stopped being produced and will gradually disappear as they end up under seat cushions and in raspberry jam jars in many people's homes.

now the federal government has replaced our paper $50 and $100 bills with plastic bills. i don't like the new plastic bills. they're really thin and slippery and they don't fold worth a shit but we're told they are very difficult to counterfeit.

now with the hot summer weather we have a problem with our new plastic bills.

THE FUCKING THINGS MELT IN THE SUN!

several years ago we replaced the one and two dollar bills with coins. the loonie, one dollar coin, had no initial problems but the new loonie doesn't work in vending machines. some machines take them and some don't. i was paying cash in a self serve check out and pumped in 3 loonies but was only credited with paying $1.50. i put in one old loonie and 2 new loonies. the new loonies somehow registered 25 cents rather than a dollar. i had to explain my problem to a recent dark skinned immigrant in customer service.

when the toonie came out there was a design problem. in their infinite wisdom, the royal canadian mint made the toonie and 2 piece coin and the center piece would fall out if it got real cold. for a while it was national pastime tossing the toonie in the freezer to see what would happen.



i love you sons of bitches.

one out of two ain't bad

i've recently fallen in love with abebooks. if you like buying books this is the place for you. it's got more stuff than alice's restaurant and the prices are excellent. after careful perusing and thoughtful pondering i made my decision and ordered 2 books. they arrived this week and one was a pleasant surprise but the other was a lunch bag let down.



slaugherhouse 5 is the real deal, first edition 3rd printing but the sirens of titan is a fucking book club edition. both are in excellent condition but i feel a little deceived with the sirens of titan. so it goes.

now i'm waiting for a real cool copy of the brothers karamazov. old fyodor karamazov has always been one of my favorite literary characters.

i hope you have a nice set of speakers hooked up to your computer:



i love you sons of bitches.