slick willy

every once in a while i stick head out of my shell and wish i had just kept myself in the dark. i read this article about CHINESE GANGSTERS IN ANGOLA.

i had to ask myself, what in the feck are 260,000 chinamen doing in angola? the article mentions the chinese government building a city for their businessmen and but it stands mostly empty. so not only are they buying and re-populating canada, they're establishing a beachhead in africa.

then i remembered the stories about SLICK WILLY AND CHINA. holy shit, i might have to start taking this chinese stuff a little more seriously. or not.

last week marked the 10th anniversary of ruby's escape from the vancouver animal control shelter.



my heart's in the highlands.

harvest time

yes, i grew that beautiful tomato below, it's just the first in what will be a bumper crop. last time i counted there were about 30 tomatoes on my 2 good plants.



rather than basking in the glory of growing that exquisite tomato above i'm dying of embarrassment. i can't believe how dusty and dirty my keyboard was. it was a job for the shop vac. i vacuumed the shit out of my keyboard but it might be easier find the new keyboard that came with the computer than to give it a really good scrubbing.

can you guess the ethnicity of the woman looking into the microscope below?



apparently a focus group or two decided that the woman was a chinaman and insulin was discovered by 2 canandian white men; fred banting and charley best. the presumably white people in the focus group complained to the bank of canada and it was decided to remove the offending photo in favor of a more white image. it wasn't handled with a great deal of tact and now the chinamen are madder than old rat shit and the congress of canadian chinamen is screaming racism. and don't forget an earlier post i did about these $100 bills melting in the heat.

in case you think i'm making this lunacy up, READ THIS!

i don't know about you, but i can't see much chinese in the photo.

i love you sons of bitches.

the election

i'm fascinated with the upcoming showdown between barrack and mitt and i have a really cool theory.

as far as i can tell barrack is a much better politician and street fighter than mitt. mitt always seems to look like a kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar whereas obama can probably lie as well as slick willy. in a fair fight i'm sure barrack would make mincemeat out of mitt but it might not be a fair fight. barrack was able to outwit and outflank hillary so outwitting mitt should be a piece of cake for barrack.

barrack hasn't made a trip to israel and has been openly critical of the expansion of the westbank settlements while on the other hand mitt has been kissing israel's arse like there's no tomorrow. my best friend is a very ardent anti-semite who continually tells me that "the tribe" controls washington as well and most commerce on the planet.
i've told him that if mitt wins the election then i might start listening to him about israel controlling washington.

so that's my theory. it's not really a contest between mitt and barrack but a test of israel's power over washington. if mitt wins, then the jews really do pull the strings in washington. i might be nuts but that's how i see the whole fucking thing playing out.

here's a preview of what's going to happen:



i love you sons of bitches.

take me to russia

i've loved russian novels for as long as i can remember. i think it all started when i read crime and punishment as a teenager. what struck me with crime and punishment was the description of russian society. i grew up during the cold war and we were bombarded with government propaganda about russians being backward, illiterate neanderthals. after reading crime and punishment i realized that russians were pretty similar to us westerners and all the stuff we were being fed by our leaders was total bullshit designed to feed the military establishment. so it goes.

one good thing about russia is the respect with which they treat their veterans. in order to protect their veterans local governments DRAIN FOUNTAINS FOR DRUNKEN PARATROOPERS.

our asshole leaders would make a big deal out of rehabilitating the soldiers and providing counseling. and of course they'd be at the ready with grief counselors if some poor sod drowned in a fountain. drain the fountains and send fair maidens with pillows and aspirins for the soldiers!

i had another moment of bliss last night. whilst watching coneheads after properly medicating myself this song came on and i was in seventh heaven:



drunken russian paratroopers, coneheads, dropping cool stuff on mars, nubile gymnasts on tv and a loving farting pitbull by my side. life is good.

i love you sons of bitches.

goodbye shithole

those paying attention to this fine blog might recall that i was evicted from my corner office at the cracker factory and relocated to a fucking cubicle about a year ago. well, my purgatory is over and i can now amuse myself in a private office.

the old cracker factory is a hard place to figure out these days, one day we're downsizing and the next day we're expanding. fortunately some schmuck was downsized and i was the victim a excellent accident. i was seriously considering retirement in the next few months but now that i've lucked into a lovely sanctuary i might just hang on a little longer.

the best thing about my new office is the excellent radio reception i now enjoy. whilst listening to the cbc morning show today i heard this song and the announcer said he was a swedish bob dylan, locking himself in a room for 3 weeks and listening to nothing but dylan's blonde on blonde.



i love you sons of bitches