hello harry

it's june 30 and 2014 is at the half way milestone and i'm happy as a clam. say hello to harry:

i've been checking the plants several times a day and doing my best to pollinate the flowers, this afternoon all my hard work paid off. finding that little tomato truly did make me happy. there's a fair bit of clover in my lawn that i truly hate but i can't use any weed killer on it due to ruby and i've been very frustrated seeing countless bees hovering around the clover but ignoring the beautiful yellow flowers on the tomatoes. but as of now, all is well in leo's world and i owe it all to harry, the most beautiful tomato in canada.

and i love playing in the moat around the plants:

me and harry are going to steer clear of spain.

i love you sons of bitches.

goosed!

i've made no effort to hide my disdain for the iconic canada goose. in fact i hate the fucking things. a few days ago the roo and i were in the park and a pair of canada geese with a string of goslings approached us with bad intentions. they were hissing with wings out and seemed ready to attack. me and the roo held our ground and i was wondering if the roo could handle a pair of angry geese. in her younger days it would have been a piece of cake but now that she's old and crippled i had my doubts. i was ready to step in and kick those sons of bitches to hell and back when a middle aged rubenesque woman came in to sing the praises of the geese. the bitch was talking down to me and i was too busy watching the roo to fully engage her. but i did tell ruby not to listen to the dumb fat cunt. of course the dumb fat cunt heard me and walked away.

now this comes to light. a FEMALE CYCLIST WAS ATTACKED BY GEESE. the article doesn't give full details but i'm sure her injuries occurred as a result of falling off the bike. she claims to have slowed down and given the geese the right of way. i've encountered lots of geese while riding my bike and i always ride right through those assholes and send them on their merry way. it's the law of the jungle and the alpha male wins. the only down side is all the fucking goose shit i get on my tires. have i ever mentioned that i hate geese?

i've been on the hunt for a lamp for the newly painted "nest" for the last week or so and drew a little criticism from my depressed buddy for making such a big deal out of buying a lamp. i'm happy to say the search is over and i didn't just come up with a lamp, i found the holy fucking lamp!

i love you sons of bitches, now let's go kick the shit out of some fucking geese.

tomatoes

is it just me or are the days getting shorter?

summer is here and a young man's fancy turns towards tomatoes. i would call this year's tomato patch decent, not great but it could be worse. i don't know if it's the crappy weather or the new location that's the culprit in the less than stellar crop. maybe a long stretch of hot sunny weather will pick things up or maybe a little fertilizer is the answer.

the declining number of bees isn't helping things either. i was trying to pollinate them myself this morning but i'm not as dependable as a bee so it's a crapshoot at best. speaking of bees, there was a large wasp nest under the eaves of the house. it seemed dormant for the first few months but it started growing and i noticed a lot of activity so it was time to get the ladder and a long stick. i whacked the nest and a shit load of wasps came flying out. i almost twisted my ankle hopping off the ladder which was unnecessary as the wasps didn't get very close to me. but a big chunk of the nest almost fell on me and it had some interesting stuff in it:

yes summer is here and life is good. oh yeah, there's a soccer tournament going on that's pretty good.

i love you sons of bitches.

life is good

about a month ago i was shitting bricks at the cracker factory but things are working out quite nicely at the moment and i owe it all to my good buddy al swearengen:

i've posted al's take on misfortune more times than i can count but it's absolutely the best advice i've ever been given. if you let them fuck you once, they'll fuck you twice.....ad infinitum. i have no ill feelings towards the cracker factory in general but a few of the administrative lackeys are on my shit list. i still plan to "give some back" but that can wait. i'm happy as a clam at the moment and only a fool would mess with bliss. when the happiness fades, it'll be back to business.

the batcave has been painted and it's a little brighter now so it's time for a new name. say hello to "the nest".

and at the other end of the nest:

i built the structure holding the tv over 20 years ago out of old 4x4's, 2x3's and 3/4 inch plywood. there was a lot of scotch consumed while i built it and of course the kids helped so i have an emotional attachment to it. the lovely mrs myshkin thinks it's a piece of junk and the movers wanted to throw it in the trash. the son of a bitch weighs a ton. this was my conundrum; get a great big tv that wouldn't fit in the old frame or keep the old frame and settle for a 50 incher. i just couldn't part with the old girl so i had to settle for a smallish tv. so it goes, life is still good.

i love you sons of bitches.

oh yeah, the england/italy world cup match was best game i've seen in years. yes, life is good.

the future

something is wrong with me. in the past when i became unstuck in time i would drift off to another world or date in time but my body would retain it's current age and form. the ravages of time appear to have caught up with me, i now stay in the same time period but my body ages. something is amiss.

there's nothing like a self imposed deadline to spur a guy to action. i vowed to get a new tv for the world cup and i'm a man of my word. the new tv is sitting a box at the moment patiently waiting to be set free in its new home. getting a new tv inspired me to paint the batcave. i've been working like crazy moving furniture and painting. it's a fucking miracle that i didn't trip over the million wires and spill paint but so far, no major accidents. i just have a little trim to complete and then the job will be done. i plan on having everything in place for the italy/england game on saturday afternoon. it's a "smart" tv so i'm waiting for sonny to hook it up saturday morning. i know my limitations.

i have about 10 liters of paint left over. when i bought the paint my decision making process was on auto pilot. my brain is hard wired to think in terms of cost per unit and the big pail of paint had a much lower cost per liter than the 3.78 cans so i bought the big pail. those big pails are fucking heavy. if anyone needs a few liters of lindenwood eggshell latex, i'm your man. sonny just bought a townhouse so he might get some paint as a house warming gift.

i love you sons of bitches.

1 for 5

it's hard to figure out OBAMA'S BIG TRADE. in sports they say which ever team ends up with the best player wins the trade regardless of how many players or draft picks exchange hands. in this one, obama gave up 5 alleged high ranking taliban operatives for one low ranking american soldier. it gets even more interesting when the fellow soldiers of sergeant bowe bergdahl accuse him of being a deserter and point out that 6 soldiers were killed as a result of him wandering off into the wilderness. call me stupid and hit me with a stick but i can't figure this one out.

i can only see one possible scenario that would justify this horrendous trade. maybe that sly fox obama had transmitters, homing devices and bombs shoved up the asses of the returning taliban operatives and the best is yet to come. or maybe the advanced torture methods of obama and his crew have turned the returning 5 into sleeper agents. more likely, obama got out of bed and said; fuck me, i haven't made headlines in the past week, pull off something big so i can make the talk show circuit and have the celebrity sycophants kiss my royal ass.

but here's something more interesting and fun to play with. an interactive map of OIL SHIPPED BY RAIL IN NORTH AMERICA. it's very intersting to enlarge an area and see the finer details of the railroad spurs.

i love you sons of bitches.

oh yeah, bill and and harry haven't been getting along recently and harry will no longer comment on bill's blog. but bill is a crafty devil and has come of with a plan to get harry back into the fold: