smokin hot

yes, the temperature is pretty high at the moment but that's not what i'm talking about. HELEN MIRREN IS SMOKIN HOT! i watched THE LAST STATION a while back and was totally smitten with the fair ms mirren. fast forward to a few weeks ago and i was watching 2010 THE YEAR WE MAKE CONTACT. i kept thinking the russian captain looked familiar, then realized it was ms mirren! yes, ms mirren is a true renaissance woman. in the past i thought jodie foster the hottest old babe around but i finally realized that my endearing roguish charm wouldn't be able to cure her sexual deviance so i accepted helen mirren as the one true goddess of the universe.

now that i've deceived the global zionist police force into thinking this post is all about a school boy crush on a movie star, let's get down to business. i've ragged on israel in the past for their crimes against humanity in palestine but it's always been a tongue in cheek sort of a deal. a few days ago i came across a site that seems to spell it all out clearly; IF AMERICANS KNEW. i encourage anyone with a bit of time on their hands to explore the site and click on a few of the tabs. the interesting thing about this site that is critical of israel is it's supported by jews. the group is called JEWS FOR JUSTICE.

as a reward for clicking on the "if americans knew" i will supply a link that might be a funny as the big lebowski: JEWS AGAINST OBAMA.

if you don't hear from me in the next few days, i'll probably be in some zionist prison or i might have been crushed when my house was bulldozed.

i love you sons of bitches.

everything is broken

the tomatoes are coming along like gangbusters. i counted 17 this morning and those were just the ones out in the open. i'm sure there are lots of bashful little fruits hiding behind the leaves. i was all set to take a few photos when disaster struck. the camera seems to be dead. i pressed the "on" button and nothing happened. i changed the battery and again nothing happened. i then whacked it and nothing happened so i then whacked the son of a bitch a lot harder and it almost came to life. when i press the on/off button, i get a few seconds of light. maybe i'll dunk the son of bitch in a pail of water and see what happens. a new camera would be nice but i don't relish the thought of reading the instruction manual. life was so much easier when sonny was around.

i'm a little peeved with our bullshit media. the top story has been the shooting down of the malaysian jet. didn't those dumb sons of bitches lose a jet earlier this year???

the israeli bombardment of gaza continues unabated while we point fingers at putin and his merry band of rebels in the ukraine. we sneer at the russian media when putin denies any involvement but at the same time we lap up the bullshit israeli propaganda regarding gaza. i'd truly like to shoot the next prick who says or writes that palestinians rush to roof tops when they hear a building has been targeted by israel. i have some stronger opinions on the bombardment but i'm scared shitless of big brother monitoring me. let's just put it this way, my neutrality is waning and i'm beginning the question the righteousness of israel.

i love you sons of bitches.

life is tough

some nitwit was complaining about my lack of new posts and questioning my creativity. well, it's got nothing to do with creativity and everything to do with the difficulty i'm facing with the disappearance of the blogger dashboard. my life is very hectic and and i face many challenges these days. i've lost my temper a few times when i was unable to navigate the blogger minefield and i just hope that god is willing to forgive me for losing my temper needlessly. i will try to persevere through these difficult times and keep praying that god finds it in his heart to forgive me.

god might forgive me but i'm certainly won't forgive the 2 fucking cunts who SET A TORTOISE ON FIRE AND STOMPED IT TO DEATH. i hope those 2 rat bastard illiterate cunts burn in hell for their crime. fucking ignorant cunts. totally fucking despicable. stupid cunts should have their water turned off.

and god can go fuck himself if he thinks i'm going to ask forgiveness for this little temper tantrum.

i love you sons of bitches.

the missing dashboard

for the past month or so my dashboard has disappeared from the top right hand corner of the blogger page. i figured it was just some change that would require a new template and all would be right with the world and i really didn't give a shit so i left it alone. around the same time i was having problems with a website where i do some banking and again i didn't follow up because it was a techie sort of a problem and like i just said, who gives a shit. but then i got pissed with the bank over something else and gave them a call. they transferred me to their techie who treated me like a child and had me navigate through a few things until the problem was found.

it turns out that when i signed up for some free "do not track me" stuff, numerous sites that like to give me cookies etc, got pissed and wouldn't co-operate with my needs until i got rid of the do not track me. it turns out that blogger is one of those sites that likes to track me and took away my dashboard as punishment for not wanting to be tracked. the bank techie suggested that i get rid of the "do not track me" stuff but i didn't get to where i am today by doing what a bank tells me. so i left the "do not track me" stuff on chrome and now use firefox when i want to get the bank stuff. same thing with blogger. my dashboard magically re-appeared when i logged in with firefox. oh well, fuck it. the whole world is one big "cause and effect" fishbowl.

i just finished watching the big lebowski for my 15 minutes of bliss before retiring and laughed my guts out several times. this made me laugh the hardest:

i love you sons of bitches.

who pulled your chain?

from now on i vow to only buy lamps with chains for the on/off switch. after years of frustration reaching into lamp shades and searching for the knob to turn and then occasionally turning the son of a bitch in the wrong direction i finally said enough of this bullshit. when i lie on the couch and watch a movie in the dark the need often arises to make a few adjustments. things get difficult in the dark with all those buttons on the remote and the consequences can be catastrophic if the wrong button is pushed. cable companies prey on medicated fools pressing the wrong button.

now i merely have to reach behind me and pull the chain. and as an added bonus there's a chain on each side so i have a decent margin for error when reaching behind. yes, life is good in the year 2014.

if this isn't the cutest thing you've ever seen, you must have seen some incredibly cute stuff!

i love you sons of bitches.