this evening has some special meaning to all my friends on this sweet little planet. it is the night where they draw another line on the wall to mark the passage of their arbitrary concept of time. i usually take part in this event though it has no meaning for me and i sense a certain wrongness in this concept. i find it easier for me to adapt to their concept of time rather than converting them to the correct concept of time. this evening has always existed and it will always exist. it simply is. i and all those around me have no say in the matter, we cannot change it, it simply is.
my corporeal shell may have stopped working correctly and melted away in a moment that always is, yet it is splendidly preserved and able to perform wonderous things in another moment than thankfully never ends. the birth and death of the carcass assigned to me are events that always have and always will occur as is the journey it takes. i have but one regret, i can’t play ping pong for sour apples.
for those of you celebrating this evening, have a good one. it never ends.
i love you sons of bitches in all my moments. you will soon graduate from the linear existence wrongly assigned to you by a god who never has and never will care about you. care about each other, nobody else will.
now i'll bask in my favorite moment. please join me.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
the time has come....
2010 is almost over so it's time to reflect on the year past and look forward to the coming year.
all in all 2010 was decent year for me. i didn't spend a minute in jail and didn't commit any mortal sins. shit, it was a pretty lackluster year. i've thought long and hard about coming up with a few new year's resolutions but i don't have any vices that i want to give up. that doesn't me that i don't have any vices it just means i enjoy my vices and am going to keep them.
i've decided to spice things up by drinking more coffee. 2011 will be the year i try to find the second best cup of coffee in the world. the best cup of coffee contains grand marnier or scotch but that's off bounds for me. in the old days a good cup of coffee would always be accompanied with a cigarette but i've long since given that little pleasure too. fuck, i've given up all the good stuff.
that's it, i'm getting depressed thinking about all the good stuff that i can no longer enjoy. oh yeah, i'm going to seek the perfect cup of coffee. big whoop.
i love you sons of bitches so if you're having a drink or a smoke, have an extra one for me.
all in all 2010 was decent year for me. i didn't spend a minute in jail and didn't commit any mortal sins. shit, it was a pretty lackluster year. i've thought long and hard about coming up with a few new year's resolutions but i don't have any vices that i want to give up. that doesn't me that i don't have any vices it just means i enjoy my vices and am going to keep them.
i've decided to spice things up by drinking more coffee. 2011 will be the year i try to find the second best cup of coffee in the world. the best cup of coffee contains grand marnier or scotch but that's off bounds for me. in the old days a good cup of coffee would always be accompanied with a cigarette but i've long since given that little pleasure too. fuck, i've given up all the good stuff.
that's it, i'm getting depressed thinking about all the good stuff that i can no longer enjoy. oh yeah, i'm going to seek the perfect cup of coffee. big whoop.
i love you sons of bitches so if you're having a drink or a smoke, have an extra one for me.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
goodnight sweet prince
the red rocket has left the building.
after about 10 years of faithful service the red rocket has found a new home with a nice jewish family. one bike had to go and the red rocket drew the short stick. i advertised her on craigslist for $125 and got a few nibbles but no bites. i then reduced the price to $112.50. of course i was willing to take $100. a young man, about 30, came to see her and fell in love with her. he offered me $100 but since i could tell he was smitten i told him $110 was the lowest i'd go. i now have $110 in my pocket.
how do i know the red rocket is with a nice jewish family? because the young man told me several times that he was jewish. he was a very nice man but for the life of me i couldn't figure out why he kept telling me about his gimcrack religion.
the red rocket was a faithful friend. i must have collected well over $1000 in beer cans whilst riding her through the local parks. now the mantle has been passed to the iron maiden and the black adder. i haven't decided which one will be my main squeeze but i'm leaning towards the iron maiden. the black adder will probably be my sunday-go-to-meeting ride.
i love you sons of bitches.
after about 10 years of faithful service the red rocket has found a new home with a nice jewish family. one bike had to go and the red rocket drew the short stick. i advertised her on craigslist for $125 and got a few nibbles but no bites. i then reduced the price to $112.50. of course i was willing to take $100. a young man, about 30, came to see her and fell in love with her. he offered me $100 but since i could tell he was smitten i told him $110 was the lowest i'd go. i now have $110 in my pocket.
how do i know the red rocket is with a nice jewish family? because the young man told me several times that he was jewish. he was a very nice man but for the life of me i couldn't figure out why he kept telling me about his gimcrack religion.
the red rocket was a faithful friend. i must have collected well over $1000 in beer cans whilst riding her through the local parks. now the mantle has been passed to the iron maiden and the black adder. i haven't decided which one will be my main squeeze but i'm leaning towards the iron maiden. the black adder will probably be my sunday-go-to-meeting ride.
i love you sons of bitches.
Monday, December 20, 2010
coldest night of the year
tomorrow will be the longest night of the year but i like to think of it as the coldest night of the year.
this song has been number 1 with me for 5 years. since the first time sonny headed up north as an 18 year old. now he's an established engineer and i'm a depressed old man. so it goes.
the song speaks of loneliness and depression. i understand loneliness and depression is somewhat of an epidemic in our society. i'm lonely because sonny's gone and depressed because this friday is the last day to lock in your capital losses and gains for 2010 and i lack the motivation to give a shit about financial decisions these days. when it comes to stuff like this i tend to close my eyes and hope everything works out well. we are all the victims of a series of accidents and most of my financial successes have been nothing but a series fortunate accidents.
i love you sons of bitches and hope all your accidents are of the fortunate variety.
this song has been number 1 with me for 5 years. since the first time sonny headed up north as an 18 year old. now he's an established engineer and i'm a depressed old man. so it goes.
the song speaks of loneliness and depression. i understand loneliness and depression is somewhat of an epidemic in our society. i'm lonely because sonny's gone and depressed because this friday is the last day to lock in your capital losses and gains for 2010 and i lack the motivation to give a shit about financial decisions these days. when it comes to stuff like this i tend to close my eyes and hope everything works out well. we are all the victims of a series of accidents and most of my financial successes have been nothing but a series fortunate accidents.
i love you sons of bitches and hope all your accidents are of the fortunate variety.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
two turtledoves......
merry f'n xmas
(that's how i signed the xmas cards i sent out this year)
i heard this on the radio yesterday and fell in love with it.
it would be heaven on earth to wake up next to dame kiri te kanawa and have her whisper 2 turtledoves into my ear each morning.
i love you sons of bitches.
(that's how i signed the xmas cards i sent out this year)
i heard this on the radio yesterday and fell in love with it.
it would be heaven on earth to wake up next to dame kiri te kanawa and have her whisper 2 turtledoves into my ear each morning.
i love you sons of bitches.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
it's getting hot.
with all the posturing going on with budget deficits and unfunded entitlement liabilities no one seems to be focusing on the big picture. there was a CLIMATE CHANGE CONFERENCE in mexico that just wrapped up. this important conference was little more than a footnote in many newspapers compared to economic news and of course the perpetual state of war on our planet.
the conference restated the goal of limiting the rise in temperature to 2 degrees celsuis over the next 25 years. more likely is A 3.5 DEGREE INCREASE IN GLOBAL TEMPERATURES.
in my mind a 3.5 degree celsius increase in temperature over the next 25 years is beyond catastrophic. our ecosystem is in a balance that literally took billions of years to achieve and we're going to piss it down the drain in the name of greed and ignorance. we are so feckin greedy and short sighted that rather than slow down our destruction of the planet our politicians are promoting stimulus plans and urging consumers to spend their way out of a natural economic contraction.
growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of a cancer cell and our species has turned out to be a cancer on the planet.
you were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do.
the conference restated the goal of limiting the rise in temperature to 2 degrees celsuis over the next 25 years. more likely is A 3.5 DEGREE INCREASE IN GLOBAL TEMPERATURES.
in my mind a 3.5 degree celsius increase in temperature over the next 25 years is beyond catastrophic. our ecosystem is in a balance that literally took billions of years to achieve and we're going to piss it down the drain in the name of greed and ignorance. we are so feckin greedy and short sighted that rather than slow down our destruction of the planet our politicians are promoting stimulus plans and urging consumers to spend their way out of a natural economic contraction.
growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of a cancer cell and our species has turned out to be a cancer on the planet.
you were sick, but now you're well, and there's work to do.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
feckin ju jubes
whilst eating old halloween ju jubes i noticed a very jagged edge to one of my molars. after a little investigation i discovered part of the tooth was missing. time to panic. i spit out the big black witches head and noticed a white chunk embedded in it. sure enough, it was a chunk of my tooth. just what i needed, a fucked up tooth.
this wasn't the first time i've been the victim of hard stale ju jubes. several years back i was eating stale santa ju jubes at the movie theatre and lost a chunk of a molar. my bargain ju jubes ended up causing me to get a gold crown. so when i lost the chunk of tooth to the witches head i had dreams of another crown. the dentist fit me yesterday afternoon. after ninety minutes of pain in the chair all was repaired. i didn't need a crown but it took a long time and the bill came to $571. So me buying cheap old halloween ju jubes cost the insurance company $571, so it goes.
i've now decided to give up ju jubes. if i can give up alcohol and quit watching pro rasslin then giving up ju jubes should be a piece of cake but i've got about 5 pounds of the offending halloween ju jubes left. it's fun wathing ruby chew ju jubes but the smart thing would be to toss them in the trash.
i love you sons of bitches.
this wasn't the first time i've been the victim of hard stale ju jubes. several years back i was eating stale santa ju jubes at the movie theatre and lost a chunk of a molar. my bargain ju jubes ended up causing me to get a gold crown. so when i lost the chunk of tooth to the witches head i had dreams of another crown. the dentist fit me yesterday afternoon. after ninety minutes of pain in the chair all was repaired. i didn't need a crown but it took a long time and the bill came to $571. So me buying cheap old halloween ju jubes cost the insurance company $571, so it goes.
i've now decided to give up ju jubes. if i can give up alcohol and quit watching pro rasslin then giving up ju jubes should be a piece of cake but i've got about 5 pounds of the offending halloween ju jubes left. it's fun wathing ruby chew ju jubes but the smart thing would be to toss them in the trash.
i love you sons of bitches.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
time to worry?
Can the United States go the way of Germany in the past—a great society undone by terrible social turmoil?
if you, like me, are too lazy to read a long article here are few of the highlights:
.....prediction that America would succumb to the fate of ancient Rome, or the hegemonies of 19th-century Britain and 16th-century Spain. Those empires allowed their upper classes to loot the treasury while they clung to power.
In 1970 the richest 1 percent made 9 percent of the nation’s income; now that top slice makes closer to 25 percent. CEOs who once made 50 times the average worker’s salary made more than 500 times as much in 2001.
broke or not, i love you sons of bitches.
if you, like me, are too lazy to read a long article here are few of the highlights:
.....prediction that America would succumb to the fate of ancient Rome, or the hegemonies of 19th-century Britain and 16th-century Spain. Those empires allowed their upper classes to loot the treasury while they clung to power.
In 1970 the richest 1 percent made 9 percent of the nation’s income; now that top slice makes closer to 25 percent. CEOs who once made 50 times the average worker’s salary made more than 500 times as much in 2001.
broke or not, i love you sons of bitches.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
five feckin years
It was five years ago today that I gave up alcohol. Oh how time flies, it seems like yesterday that I would wake up with pounding head and swear to never do it again. Of course I would do it again and again and again. I didn’t plan to quit drinking 5 years ago. it was my plan to quit for a few weeks so I’d be all rested up for the Christmas party season but one thing led to another and it’s now been 5 years.
So what did being sober for five years give me? Firstly, it gave me a lot more money in my pocket. Drinking too many single malt scotches ain’t cheap. Secondly, my health is probably better now than it was five years ago. Thirdly, ah shit there is no thirdly. Money and health are about it. One thing I miss is the comraderie I shared with my fellow drunks. Most of my drinking pals quit coming around after I gave up liquor. I miss those sons of bitches.
I’m not one of those reformed drinkers that swears he’ll never drink again and thinks sobriety is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I enjoyed drinking and I’m not ruling out returning to my old ways. If I only had one hour to live I’d like to spend it with a glass of single malt and something good to smoke.
So that’s it. 5 years of sobriety.
So what did being sober for five years give me? Firstly, it gave me a lot more money in my pocket. Drinking too many single malt scotches ain’t cheap. Secondly, my health is probably better now than it was five years ago. Thirdly, ah shit there is no thirdly. Money and health are about it. One thing I miss is the comraderie I shared with my fellow drunks. Most of my drinking pals quit coming around after I gave up liquor. I miss those sons of bitches.
I’m not one of those reformed drinkers that swears he’ll never drink again and thinks sobriety is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I enjoyed drinking and I’m not ruling out returning to my old ways. If I only had one hour to live I’d like to spend it with a glass of single malt and something good to smoke.
So that’s it. 5 years of sobriety.
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