here is a reenactment of what happened:
well not quite. i decided to break up some old lumber around the house. rather than saw it into pieces i decided to smash it into pieces with the sledgehammer sonny bought me for father's day. i placed the board on a concrete ledge and gave it a mighty whack. the fecking thing immediately sprang into the air and hit me right between the eyes. i saw stars and within 10 seconds i had a lump the size of a golf ball just above the nose. i staggered into the house and looked into the mirror. blood was pouring down the my face and my vision was blurry. after cleaning up the blood and gaining my senses i grabbed a bag of the lovely mrs myshkin's frozen peas and applied it to my lumpy face.
when the lovely mrs myshkin came home she was more concerned about her thawed out blood soaked frozen peas than my injured face. after she finished telling me how stupid i was she chastised me for swearing. she wasn't home when it happened but after 23 years of marriage she knew the f-bombs would be flying.
so it fucking goes.
\oh yeah, i'm thinking of suing the manufacturer of the sledgehammer for not attaching a warning label or providing adequate instructions.
i love you sons of bitches.
22 comments:
Well, I was right about it being wood that did the damage. Are you going to get a welder's helmet for future chopping?
gb - you would have won the prize a few years ago when i got a branch in the eye. that was way, way worse. scratched cornea etc.
I'd also include the frozen peas in your class action suit. They didn't do a hell of a lot of good. Your photo shows a shocking disrespect for your injuries.
Sue the bastards!
You're looking a little bit like that dude permanently affixed to the front of Woozie's blog...
Ah, yes, that would sure as hell do it, damn near did that a couple of times myself with my sledge hammer.
shaw - next time i'll use green giant peas. wait a second, there won't be a next time. well, maybe.
thims - my eye is blacker than the young wooz.
billy - i got back on the horse today and used the sledge hammer to destroy an old fish tank. you wouldn't believe how much glass there is in a fish tank! and the bottom piece of glass took a real good whack.
I did say in the post below.
It looks to me like it may have been something of your own doing.
You think a fish tank bottom takes a good whack just trying breaking up an old computer monitor or TV screen.
I'd advise using a 357 Magnum, or a shotgun with double ott buck in it.
Nah, he's in Cananndia! No .357 for him!
Here is an awesome dude taking a sledgehammer to a computer monitor!
If you didn't look so pathetic, I'd be falling off my recliner laughing my ass off.
billy - i smashed a few tv screens in my misspent youth. it took some pretty big rocks to get the job done.
thims - woozie's in canada? is omar up to something?
yellowdog - i'm almost able to laugh about the whole episode now.
It's one of those things where you say to yourself... I should have known to expect something unexpected.
I muttered similar thoughts as I felt the three broken ribs resulting from the fall from my bathhouse roof onto the rocks below as I was slathering the shingles with a slick coating of sealant.
Almost in coyote and road runner style, the can of sealant fell after me, hitting my shoulder and splashing the smelly stuff all over me. They had to throw my clothes away after I checked into the ER>
Well, now we both know.
Well don't you look like a bad ass? I would definitely get out of your way if I saw you heading my way. I think you might have to come up with an alternate version on what happened to you when you are out on the town. You know like you fought off some midget ninjas. Take care.
Ah, poor guy. I put things like this under my "brilliant moments" list.
I'm following you now, because I always wanted to take a spin with Billy Pilgrim in his alien world. ;)
robert - wow, your accident sounds way better than mine.
mr shife - the lovely mrs myshkin is making me wear sunglasses when we go out. it seems i never run out of new ways to embarrass her.
jayne - welcome aboard.
the water is warm and there's plenty to eat.
we're all happy. quite happy indeed.
Good grief! What a whack!!!
Don't you find a sledgehammer an unusual gift for a son to give to his beloved father?
He does know you, right?
Geez, dude, you look like hell!
I gave my dad an axe for his birthday... nothing wrong with a sledgehammer.
bob - good grief is right. next time i'll read the instructions.
nance - while trying to break something with sonny i borrowed a line from jaws, i think we're gonna need a bigger hammer.
thims - guys like tools!
Tools are cool, I'm saving up money for another outboard motor to drown.
Isn't it weird how bruises get worse over time? Poor you! (My former stepfather once had a chainsaw bounce back into his face. It was not pretty.)
Pretty nice place you've got here. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.
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billy - have you seen piranha 3D? i think you'd like it. a guy uses an outboard motor for a weapon and there are lots of 3D boobs!
secret - i'm not allowed to play with chainsaws.
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