tonight is the big night for wwe rasslers, rasslemania. i say big night because it's the night where they make their biggest paycheck.
for years i was a die hard rassling fan. i don't know if it was quitting drinking or the sorry state of rassling these days that turned me off rassling. probably a little of each or maybe i just grew up.
i blame hulk hogan for ruining rassling mainly because he became the most popular rassler on the planet and never rassled. he took lots of steroids, did lots of work on the microphone, flexed his muscles a lot, pointed his finger and finally did his leg drop on some poor schmuck. today's rasslin is all about body builders reading scripts with the occasional bit of rasslin thrown in.
a recent RASSLIN ARTICLE stated that a 2 hour rasslin show had 9 minutes and 58 seconds of rasslin. the rest of the show was interviews and bullshit. most rasslin shows on tv are actually infomercials for the monthly pay-per-views.
it wasn't easy being a rasslin fan. not one of my friends shared my enthusiasm for this theatre of the absurd. i used to enjoy walking into a conference or budget meeting and saying, "did anyone see rasslin last night." this was usually followed by dead silence and looks of scorn. i don't what is phonier, rasslin or budget meetings but that's another story.
although i no longer watch rasslin i still frequently check in on the rasslin websites. if you want to be bombarded with pop up ads, try a few rasslin sites. it's almost like they think rasslin fans aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer.
on more thing, apparently you can BET ON WRESTLEMANIA MATCHES. if hulk hogan was still rasslin i could make a few bucks tonight.
mommas, don't let your babies grow up to be rasslers.
i love you sons of bitches.
16 comments:
I watched when I was a kid. Stopped early on because I realized it was silly. I can easily understand why you stopped. There shows are filled with a lot of posturing and theatrics. A friend, who is unfortunately still into it at the age of 46 (sad), likes to call it the shows "a kind of soap opera for men." I understand what he means but I think he should say, "It's a soap opera for men with the I.Q. of tree bark", instead. Now I did have a very guilty pleasure as I grew older and I would watch Pee Wee's Playhouse time to time but wouldn't tell anyone.
Vince mcMahon's version of rasslin' ruined all of wrestling because with the acknowledged phoniness of rasslin and too much T&A we could no longer suspend our disbelief long enough to enjoy the show. I think the high water mark was the Nitro/WWF wars when the Four Horsemen reunited.
Wait a minute, aren't the bouts all fixed? The few I've seen looked like an audition for a B-movie.
I can't believe people still watch TV wrestling. Now on the other hand, I must confess I miss women's Roller Derby which is no longer on TV.
kelly - i think paul ruebens has been a host of wwe's rasslin show. see, rasslin has something for everyone.
bob - i like watching the old wwf classics they show on weekends up here.
gb - i think the correct term is "scripted" the rasslers have to follow the script.
robert - if they had some actual wrestling on tv i'd probably watch it.
As you can imagine, I can't bear to watch wrestling. Even though we lived for a while next to a retired wrestler who went by the name Mr. Wrestling II, I think.
I could tell it was fake when I was a kid, but I learned not to say that to restling fans, not unless I wanted them to show me how real it could get.
I'm not a big fan, but I tuned into the end of a show recently and had the extreme pleasure of seeing Casey Mathews walk on as a ref. I got a great giggle out of that!
One thing I don't get about it is why it ended up on SyFy.
Leo, when the heck are you gonna give it up and join us in Mark Zuckerberg's empire of doom!? I miss you dearly old friend and I'm goin' on a trip to your homeland in June and it makes me miss your sorry arse even more. xoxo Shark
secret - man, i wish i had a wrestler for a neighbor.
tex - yeah, my dad told me rasslin was fake before he told me that santa was a fake.
ananda - maybe rasslers are aliens?
rocky - drop in more often, this little enterprise can use a little class. xoxo!
I once rassled with a hot naked chick, it wuz fun.
I do remember watching Chief Jay Strongbow at a high school event and found it pretty entertaining. And I've witnessed a couple of knock down drag outs right here at home with my babies, but no chance in Hell will they ever be rasslers. No, no, not humorous at all. ;)
billy-- I get AWA classics on saturday, which i usually watch if i ain't fishing.
I'm so worried that this is not satire. If it isn't, it's the first point I've discovered that we diverge on. Which seems normal, since I'm not you. But still...
billy - who won?
jayne - i remember chief strongbow. the bad guys used to rip up his headdress.
bob - verne gagne!
nance - what is sillier, people watching rasslin or people supporting sarah palin?
rasslin or most religions?
not since Gorgeous George..
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