what is worse than 2 hours in the dentist's chair?
5 hours at a chinese wedding with a 10 course meal. the food just kept coming and coming and coming and noise just kept getting louder and louder and louder.
i've been to a few of things in the past couple of years and it seems like there is some sort of contest to serve the most food. i skipped several courses knowing that i had to pace myself but there were some people that could have won a hot dog eating contest. there was one fat guy that looked just like larry david and it appeared that he had been starving himself for weeks. he was like a machine devouring crab legs and lobster tails. i hope the pig has a stomach ache this morning.
when we arrived and read the agenda telling us it was going to be a 6 hour marathon i let out a louder than planned "fuck me" drawing several looks and the old hate stare from the lovely mrs myshkin. at the 3 hour mark i vowed never to attend one of these things again but i've made that vow in the past only to be talked into attending the next one.
at the 5 hour mark a chinese elvis impersonator took the stage. that's when i laid down the law and said get me out of here.
i love you sons of bitches.
i would have much rather had a good peanut butter and jam sandwich. so it goes.
on a much more important note, it's INTERNATIONAL TURTLE DAY!
19 comments:
He not only will have a stomach ache, he'll need War & Peace in the bathroom as he'll be in there for a spell.
Wasn't it a buffet? You could have focused on your favourite dishes with rice and noodles.
charlene - i can only hope.
gb - not a buffet. when each course was served a line of waiters would march into the dining room and then disperse in different directions. kinda like the old centipede video game.
Glad I missed it.
I'm not much of a social butterfly.
I guess your teeth held up to all that food alright?
I'm glad I came over here, nearly went through the whole day not knowing it was international turtle day!
Hell, beer couldn't have kept me there for five hours.
I find it odd that there are no turtles here, you have turtles there?
tex - the teeth were fine but everytime i didn't like the food i said i had a tooth ache.
billy - we have a few parks with turtles in the lake. there are western painteds that are indigenous and sliders that people can't house when they grow so they set them free in the lakes.
So for International Turtle day, are we supposed to kiss them, kill them, or just help one across the street?
GTG, heading for the dentist.
robert - firebomb any restaurant that sells turtle soup!
Not me - I'd take the wedding over the dentist any time.
And I thought I had problems!
Yep, the Chinese version of waterboarding. Death by won ton. I'd have given up my first born by the third course.
secret - you're right, the wedding was the lesser of two evils.
nance - death by won ton! i like it. i'll be quoting you many times.
I might have enjoyed the food but not the people. That Elvis guy was pretty good though. Who knew it was all in the shades.
I saw my first wild turtle of the year on Friday. It was a good size Box Turtle on the side of the road. Wonder if he survived?
Now that's hilarious! The Elvis, not the food situation. Ugh.
mr wit - you had a chance to be a hero and rescue a turtle and blew it!
ananda - i was trying to tell the chinamen about bobby's elvis gig on the sons of anarchy but they all looked at me like i was a stupid white man. so it goes.
Oh come on! Nothing like grazing at a troth-trough all day. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) That video is wacky silly. My very first Chinese Elvis. Gives a whole new meaning to his song, "It Hurts Me." ;)
Tell Me About It! I Have A Chinese Dentist!
jayne - ya know what! i didn't even get a fortune cookie!
tony - does he have a dollar store in the waiting room?
I love Chinese food, but I couldn't take six fucking hours of the shit.
Poor bastards must've been part Italian, to sit around and stuff their pieholes THAT long!
I need to go to the dallas, but in the USofA, we dont' have goverment insurance..and my medicaid doesn't cover dental..feck.
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