oops...

i was all set to pick up the lovely mrs myshkin at the airport on sunday but sometimes the best laid plans of mice and men are subject to revision.

on saturday afternoon i had just made myself a pot of coffee after a little fishing and the phone rang. it was the lovely mrs myshkin calling from the airport wondering where i was. it seems i had the return date wrong by about 24 hours. she was not amused. i had to forget about my nice pot of coffee and rush to the airport. it was a real nice pot of macadamia chocolate coffee. she was not amused when i arrived at the airport.

i felt a little sheepish but quickly invoked the good samaritin law. i was picking her up pro bono and was out a good pot of coffee. also, my illegal smile had turned to a frown. i was the real victim but she didn't see it that way. it was a frosty ride home.



i love you sons of bitches.

turn out the lights.....

turn out the lights, the party's over.

the lovely mrs myshkin returns from abroad on sunday. on or about sunday morning i'll have to do a little cleaning. maybe.

i was planning on buying myself a nice new toy to compensate for all the money she's pissing away in europe and have had my eye on a few motorcycles but the weather has been the absolute shits. here we are in summer and there hasn't been one stretch of good weather. right now we have light rain with a temperature of about 15 degrees celcius. riding a motorcycle in shitty weather is for tough guys and teenagers. i'm neither. i also considered buying a new sound system but after dropping into a few stores i quickly decided that it might be better to wait for sonny to move back to town. i need a good science officer to make things work.

so she's coming home and i haven't bought any toys. i feel like cinderella. my ugly stepsister is living the life of riley and i have no new toys. woe is me.

when i told ruby that the old grouch is returning she quickly sought shelter from the storm.



if you don't hear from me after sunday, call the cops. i might be dead.

i love you sons of bitches.

happy feckin father's day!

ruby took me to park for father's day. she crapped twice and i only had one bag. ain't life grand.

for billy cook



i love you sons of bitches

ouch....... (again)

the lovely mrs myshkin is in europe so ruby and i decided to build something. our garage is a mess so i decided to put up some shelving. what should have been an easy project quickly turned into a giant headache.

i had a lot of 3/4 inch plywood and some steel framework so it seemed like a natural combination. i had spent a few days thinking about it and had an idea in mind. i carefully cut the plywood and laid it out on the floor all the time pondering what could possibly go wrong. my plan was to build it laying down on the floor and then lift it into position. after a few hours it was built and it was time to lift it into position. my plan failed to take one thing into account, how heavy that son of a bitch would be. i could barely move it a few inches let alone raise it up onto the lip of concrete around the garage. i wanted to make it snug to the wall in order to conserve space. i decided to take it apart and try lifting half of it into position. it worked! i got half of it into position with some blocks under the front feet.



i removed all the shelves from the second except for the top piece which i needed to get the correct distance for the end piece of the frame. i left a few screws loosely in the top piece to hold it together whilst aligning the frame. i almost had it into position and was giving it a few taps with the mallet when things went wrong. the top shelf came loose and came crashing down right on my fucking head! after hitting my head it landed on my hand. there was blood coming down from my head and my hand was also bleeding. the damage to my head was under the hair so i couldn't tell how much damage had been done. i got the garden hose and for a few minutes just sat in the yard holding the hose over my head to clean the wound. funny thing, it didn't really hurt. it was my hand that hurt.

after a few aspirins and a bit of time to rethink my plan i finished the project.

behold


the hand of god:



i love you sons of bitches.

oops

in the past i've written about the troubles i've had with my harmon kardon receiver. the feckin thing gets really hot and develops a nasty hum at times. i've tried lots of different stuff and talked to several techies. yesterday i was bored at the cracker factory and contacted the harmon kardon support department. at first there were a series of e-mails then a techie phoned me and we had a long discussion and i was given several options.

one of the problems is it's a high current beast. it weighs 45 pounds and has tons of features i haven't been able to figure out in 6 years. in the past sonny would fix things for me but now i'm on my own. i don't like being on my own.

last night i took a real close look at the wiring and noticed some speaker wires that weren't totally in the connectors at the back of the unit so i disconnected all the speakers and trimmed the wires and reconnected them. guess what, the hum was gone. i had 3 techies contacting me yesterday with all sorts of high tech suggestions and it looks like i had a few loose wires. i'm not going to admit to these guys that it was merely a loose wire. in my defense it's pretty easy to have a loose wire when there are 8 feckin speakers hooked up. it's actually a job for a chinese teenager with skinny fingers to hook up all the shit.

with the fecking thing being so heavy it's hard to be gentle when sliding it forward to dust and clean the rack. i must have fecked up things whilst dusting. i should have know better than trying to perform a task that best suited to women, dusting.



i love you sons of bitches.

homegrown tomatoes

my summer project is growing a few tomatoes. i wanted to grow something else but a certain someone vetoed the idea. it's not that i'm afraid of her it's just that she could easily destroy my plants whilst i'm away so tomatoes are the project.

my new gimmick is a fresh picture in the header on a weekly basis. it should be tres exciting.

my dad grows tomatoes every summer and they're his pride and joy but my mother takes great delight in criticizing his garden so my plan is to make sure dad's tomatoes are far superior to mine. that way when mom criticizes dad's tomatoes i can honestly say, "hey, dad's tomatoes put mine to shame, i wish i could grow tomatoes like dad"



i love you sons of bitches.

i'm going to malaysia!

malaysia may be the most enlightened country on the face of the earth!

a movement has started there called THE OBEDIENT WIFE CLUB

as much as the obedient wife club sounds nice i'll have to pass on malaysia. i think the muslims also place lots of dipshit rules on men.

on another note, my chompers can take a rest for the next 5 months. on thursday i got my cleaning and scaling done so it's clear sailing for me!! the scaling was a pain in the arse though. for the second straight time the dentist has personally done the scaling. i can always get the hygienist to take it easy on me but the dentist, she means feckin business.

here's how it went:



i love you sons of bitches.

those sons of bitches on facebook seem to be giving me the cold shoulder since i was a wee bit critical of zuckerberg's racket.