Monday, June 13, 2011

ouch....... (again)

the lovely mrs myshkin is in europe so ruby and i decided to build something. our garage is a mess so i decided to put up some shelving. what should have been an easy project quickly turned into a giant headache.

i had a lot of 3/4 inch plywood and some steel framework so it seemed like a natural combination. i had spent a few days thinking about it and had an idea in mind. i carefully cut the plywood and laid it out on the floor all the time pondering what could possibly go wrong. my plan was to build it laying down on the floor and then lift it into position. after a few hours it was built and it was time to lift it into position. my plan failed to take one thing into account, how heavy that son of a bitch would be. i could barely move it a few inches let alone raise it up onto the lip of concrete around the garage. i wanted to make it snug to the wall in order to conserve space. i decided to take it apart and try lifting half of it into position. it worked! i got half of it into position with some blocks under the front feet.



i removed all the shelves from the second except for the top piece which i needed to get the correct distance for the end piece of the frame. i left a few screws loosely in the top piece to hold it together whilst aligning the frame. i almost had it into position and was giving it a few taps with the mallet when things went wrong. the top shelf came loose and came crashing down right on my fucking head! after hitting my head it landed on my hand. there was blood coming down from my head and my hand was also bleeding. the damage to my head was under the hair so i couldn't tell how much damage had been done. i got the garden hose and for a few minutes just sat in the yard holding the hose over my head to clean the wound. funny thing, it didn't really hurt. it was my hand that hurt.

after a few aspirins and a bit of time to rethink my plan i finished the project.

behold


the hand of god:



i love you sons of bitches.

29 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

The head is better protected than the hand because it contains more of value for most people. All the same, a crash helmet and gloves might have reduced the damage.

Allan said...

Ouch. Too bad foam rubber makes such lousy shelves.

billy pilgrim said...

gb - luckily the plywood struck a glancing blow rather than a sharp corner falling straight onto my skull. shit, i don't wear helmet whilst riding a bike.

allan - real men don't build flaccid shelving.

Samm Hein said...

Watch out fo' yo'se'f, man! It's a better world with you in it, so try to stay here and in one piece as long as possible.

Jayne said...

Is that a table saw I see in that garage? Thank goodness nothing went wrong there.
Nice work on the shelving (the sort I like to leave up to the professionals).
Glad you are well enough to write this post. Now, next time, pick up the phone. ;)

billy pilgrim said...

samm - thanks for your support!

jayne - yup, that's my trusty table saw. i've had it for about 20 years and still have 10 fingers. what are the odds on that!

peppylady (Dora) said...

It doesn't look like your mess when it comes to projects.

Coffee is on.

silly rabbit said...

You won the battle in the end... and now have the scars to prove it!
Now you can have fun filling those shelves and enjoying the zen of an organized space.

Rocky (Racquel) said...

oh me oh my oh

poor ol' leo


ps ignore my comment about Princess Myshkin traveling alone

BBC said...

Good job..

BBC said...

I mean, good job on the shelves and the hand. god sure fucks up sometimes, hahaha

billy pilgrim said...

dora - i bought a pound of blueberry cinnamon coffee today. i don't know what i was thinking.

silly - i'll bask in my glory for a few days.

rocky - poor little me is right! they're not going to throw me in jail this week for having too much fun.

billy - thanks for the "good job". coming from a pro that means something to me.

thimscool said...

Scrap wood? Sure, what the hell. Even Homer Simpson has scrap wood.

Scrap steel? In the hands of a can collector? WTF?

Not sure about that rig to level the front. I'd strap those shelves to the studs near the top if you know what's good for ya.

The same could have been purchased with particle board for about $150 at Home Depot... while tacitly enslaving Chinese folx. How much is your time worth?

Nevermind... Billy's right. Nice work.

thimscool said...

You know, it's damn satisfying to see my comment immediately after I post it.

No wonder I never post anymore at Captain WD-40's...

thimscool said...

Oh, and as for Blueberry cinnamon... that is low level trolling. Send me your mailing address and I'll ship you some decent beans. But buy a grinder first...

Cripes.

billy pilgrim said...

thims - the shelves are anchored to the studs with 2 1/2 inch screws. king kong could climb the son of a bitch. i'm giving the blueberry cinnamon coffee away.

Heff said...

Great job as long as you weren't planning to later insulate and drywall in there....

billy pilgrim said...

thims - hey wait a minute, you must think i'm dumber than a bag of rocks not anchoring the shelves to the studs. a lesser man would take umbrage.

heff - thanks, no insulation or drywall for me in the garage.

texlahoma said...

Ruby didn't feel a sense of impending doom and warn you?

They look like good shelves, I think they were worth the pain and suffering.

BBC said...

No wonder I never post anymore at Captain WD-40's...

Tell that asshole to get Leslie off my ass and I'll open up instant comments again.

billy pilgrim said...

hey asshole, get leslie off billy's back and the moderation will be history.

Nance said...

Oh, for pete's sake! DIY hell, but a fine product, nevertheless. This is how you know you live in a home, not just a house: everything's got a story and little piece of you in it.

billy pilgrim said...

nance - you're 100% right. if only the kids were little again i could plant dead hamsters, goldfish and budgies in the garden and really feel attached to the house.

Robert the Skeptic said...

Oh the fun of household projects. A couple of them have sent me to the emergency room, but usually I get through them with only minor cuts and bruises. You have to appreciate the people who do that kind of stuff every day for a living.

Mr. Shife said...

Sheesh BP you probably would have got less hurt if you went rioting in Vancouver after Game 7. And sorry about that tough loss but Luongo pretty much shit the bed the last few games. Hope you feel better and the shelves look awesome.

thimscool said...

No offense intended. I was worried that Gorilla Bananas was gonna stress test it and I don’t want to see you as defendant in a law suit...

Happy Fathers Day.

Leslie said...

You freaks.

I should start a cult or something. Cash in on this infamy.

If you guys are looking for scrap wood, I'm sure BBC has tons in his pants.

billy pilgrim said...

mr shife - if i was 38 years younger there's a good chance i would have picked up a few watches after the game ;)
the rioters got a lot of high end stuff when they turned to looting.

thims - no offense taken. i know the gorilla will climb anything for a banana.

leslie - yup, billy has wood in his pants. lots of guys his age would kill for his wood.

yellowdoggranny said...

well they look terrific, considering you almost kilt your self doing it..dang..