i've always hated those bicycles with small gas engines attached to the frames. they usually make a lot of noise and spew a lot of noxious smoke. whenever one of the abominations ruins the peace and tranquility in the park i have a strong urge to toss a stick into its spokes.
today whilst riding back from the grocery store with a lovely little bag of golden delicious apples a large man on a bike came around the corner and almost hit me. i had to slam on my breaks to avoid the collision and was not happy. then i noticed he had a little 2 stroke engine attached to the frame of his bike. the anger microchip in my brain overruled the logic microchip on my brain and i called him a fucking idiot. had the logic microchip been working i would have taken into account the fact that he was about 100 pounds heavier than me and about 25 years younger than me. so it goes.
have you ever noticed that fucking idiots get upset when you call them fucking idiots? baby huey got upset and started swearing at me and with my anger microchip thoroughly in charge of my brain i one upped him and included his physical attributes and questionable intelligence in my colorful retort. we had a big stare down and he got off his bike. luckily my logic microchip regained control and i rode off but i couldn't resist one last comment; "you fat lazy shit, why don't you try using your pedals." i looked back several times to see if he was following me but he was nowhere to be found.
i usually regret these crazy outbursts but this time i'm very happy that i told baby huey what a fucking idiot he was.
i love you sons of bitches.
23 comments:
Well on the bright side... one of these days karma will kick his fat ass and you'll still be chugging along. I've never understood gas bikes like that. But then, I'd hate to drive a pedal car.
As a fat ass, I wouldn't chase a skinny ass on a bicycle. Tractor, hot rod, golf cart-- maybe.
Way to go BP.
My hero..!
You managed, once again, to make me smile and that's a good thing.
I don't think I've ever seen such a a contraption. Isn't pedaling the whole point of having a bicycle? Why don't they get a moped or something?
well thanks everybody.
after 24 hours i still don't regret acting like a fool.
so i got that going for me too, which is nice!
I'm with ya on the gas engines, but I do like what is going on in Aurora.
Perfect soundtrack; dangerous fun!
thimscool - how about a little advice on harmon kardon? i've had problems with my avr 525 and checking on line harmon kardon receivers do seem to have problems. i've been looking at a hk7550 on sale but i see lots of hk problems checking on line. should i switch brands?
nance - yeah, it was dangerous fun and i should know better at my age but those gas powered bicycles have been on my shit list for years. the guy did kinda look like roland weary.
"have you ever noticed that fucking idiots get upset when you call them fucking idiots?"
Classic!
have you ever noticed that fucking idiots get upset when you call them fucking idiots?
Yes, I'm a fucking expert at that.
As for small motors on bikes, I believe that you have hung around my blogs long enough that you've seen the posts where I mounted motors on bikes.
I lean both ways, peddling is just fine but sometimes it's nice to have a little help and I just use the quieter four cycle motors.
With a little gas motor I can run a bike 200 miles in a ten hour day while using less than two gallons of gas.
Okay, so I'm getting old and lazy, just shoot me now.
tex - thanks, ruby thought it was classic too.
billy - it's the noise that drives me to distraction. do you put mufflers on your projects?
My four cycle motors have good mufflers and are a lot more quite than two cycle motors.
Having said that...
LOUD PIPES SAVE LIVES
BP, I'd look to Yamaha. Pioneer is actually a good way to go if you don't have the cabbage for the high end but still want a capable receiver.
But Yamaha has got the brass ring for consumer level home theater and audio experience.
Here is an example. But you should shop around depending on your budget.
If you want lots of features for the money, go with Pioneer. If you want the right features with better performance, go Yamaha.
Dark Horse: Sony. A couple of years ago I was compelled by my father in law to conform a cabinet and gear to a certain depth specification and so I resorted to a Sony receiver. I was pleasantly surprised. Cambridge Audio speakers and sub (again due to size constraints), and Bose for the porch (weatherproof). Works great.
How are you set for speakers?
Oops, I should have asked whether you're a tube freak.
I doubt it, but you never know with the cinnamon blueberry coffee and whatnot.
I'd go with a Pioneer, they were partial to Conestoga wagons.
Sometimes it's just got to be said. ;)
billy - if i had a rocket launcher some of those loud pipes would cost lives.
thimscool - thanks for the input.
from all the stuff i've read pioneer is the best value and it's on my list. i'm also looking at denon and onkyo.
sonny recommends nad but it seems to be a little overpriced. right now i have some klipsch and polk speakers but i'm also looking to replace them one of these days. no, i'm not a tube freak.
(i'm drinking my last cup of blueberry cinnamon. next it's hazelnut creme.)
jayne - or yelled! even after a few days i'm glad i did it.
If I let all the idiots in the world trouble me I'd never leave my house. But seriously, idiots are idiot enough to do something idiotic which, their being incapable of projecting the consequences of their actions, can result in injury or death.
robert - as sammy davis said, i gotta be me. i was a shotokan ninja not so long ago so i got that going for me too, which in nice.
I don't tend to get all upset (although leaf blowers send me over the edge), but that's not because I'm a nice person. It's that I'm little and easily dented.
little and easily dented.
Hahahaha
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