Friday, September 16, 2011

one lousy tomato

a summer of love and nurturing has resulted in one lousy ripe tomato!



if i'm lucky enough to get a week of sunny warm weather there could be many more ripe tomatoes but there are 2 chances of that happening and slim just left town. the most memorable moment of growing these beauties was when i noticed the first tomato forming on the vine. i had an instinctive reaction that got me in hot water with the lovely mrs myshkin. without thinking i loudly blurted out; "fuck me, i got a tomato!"
unfortunately my elderly neighbor was in his yard and the lovely mrs myshkin was on the deck and they both heard my excitement. so it goes.

remember the good old days on tv before political correctness?



i love you sons of bitches!

21 comments:

Mr. Shife said...

I love the picture of Ruby. It is awesome. Just seeing her up there really reinforces to me that we need to enjoy the moment. Speaking or enjoyment, that tomato rocks, and it might be only one you get this year but it is going to taste so good in whatever capacity you decide to use it. Fuck yeah, BP, you rock.

Cheyenne said...

I have a bunch of small tomatoes, none are big enough to ripen yet, but if I am lucky I might get one before it gets too cold. I really thought I would have a summer full of fresh tomatoes instead of those cardboard-tasting ones in the store.

thimscool said...

Fried green tomatoes...

I don't dig on swine, but I'm told they make an unforgettable BLT...

Personally I like em with remoulade over romaine...

Take them lemons and make lemonade.

Gorilla Bananas said...

A lot of elderly neighbours would have laughed at your remark, but I guess you got the sour one. I hope your tomato is sweeter, the home-grown ones are usually best.

Static said...

You should have tried hydroponics. The more water the better, and plenty of good soil and cow shit (according to LilPixi).

So did your eavesdroppers fuck you when they heard the news?

silly rabbit said...

That one is a beauty! Perhaps you could make a batch of fried green tomatoes with those that don't ripen.
Mmmm... though fried foods don't generally do it for me, they are yummy.
Sod the neighbors!

billy pilgrim said...

mr shife - me and ruby thank you for your continued support. you sir are a true gentleman.

cheyenne - yeah, it's raining and chilly here right now. maybe some sun on monday, it doesn't look good.

thims - frying tomatoes would probably cancel out any of the health benefits associated with them. plus frying does create a little splatter.

gb - i've been eatig some of my dad's home grown tomatoes and they are excellent. considering i bought all the plants and we planted them at the same time it makes my little effort look pitiful.

mr static - my eavesdropper was an elderly man who attributes most things to god's will. he probably attributes most of mine and ruby's behavior to satan.

silly - i think i'll run out and pick it right now.

Nance said...

I count on you to be politically incorrect. It's why I hang out here. Must be the fighter pilot's wife in me; I miss those bad boys.

I am sorry for your tomato impotence, though. Tomatoes just feel so personal.

billy pilgrim said...

nance - most people come here for my keen insight and savoir faire. stick around and you too will fall prey to my savoir faire.

Anonymous said...

Pick the green ones and put them on your kitchen countertop. They'll ripen. No shit.

yellowdoggranny said...

what the hell?...no one ever hear fuckme before?..sigh*...wish I had been there ..I'd have said 'fucking A'....kiss ruby for me

Shaw Kenawe said...

I'm so sorry to tell you that I have more tomatoes than I know what to do with--all planted in containers, all ripening at the same time.

*Ducks and runs away*

billy pilgrim said...

dissenter - yup, but it's been my experience that they need to show a little sign of color before picking them.

yellowdog - it might be your fault that i've picked up the habit of reacting to things with "fuck me" or it might be my sweetheart, debra morgan.

shaw - small wonder spain's in the shitter wasting good tomatoes like that!

Static said...

Perhaps your neighbor should do less judging, as it turns him away from the grace of his own god, by his own will. Irony - he has it.

texlahoma said...

Political correctness really did mess up comedy "Made himself an offer he couldn't understand." lol.

Everyone's just gotten too sensitive.

Jayne said...

Are you sure you're not from New Jersey. My husband has instinctive reactions just like that.

Here in New England, I got precisely three tomatoes. ;/

billy pilgrim said...

static - he does have his wife well trained. she rarely speaks and always walks several paces behind him. can you guess his ethnicity?

tex - my favorite line was "look what i almost stepped in"

jayne - i think my infatuation with debra morgan might have something to do with my language.

BBC said...

This blog does not allow anonymous comments.

Hahahaha

thimscool said...

Woof!

billy pilgrim said...

bill - welcome back!

thims - yeah, the big dog has returned.

Static said...

Billy, what does your neighbor's ethnicity bear on the matter? He sounds like an asshole.