my left knee still hurts. i haven't ridden a bicycle in 4 days, so it is really sore. the reason i pulled my little stunt with the left leg is i have a bum right knee. the thought of not being able to hop up stairs on one leg really ate away at me so i decided to try it using my gimpy right leg but this time i didn't put one arm behind my back and allowed myself to hold onto the hand rail. drum roll please....
i did it. the secret is hanging onto the hand rail. the hand rail not only helped with my balance it allowed me to pull myself forward a wee bit. after doing one step i decided it was time to quit while i was ahead. once the left knee returns to form i'm going into training!
now the good news. i dropped into value village to look for a pair of jeans and hit the motherload. whilst trying on a pair of jeans i stuck my hand in the pocket and found 20 bucks!! and to top it all off the jeans were a perfect fit. proof positive that jesus loves me. it just goes to show that you don't have to go to church or be a particularly good person for jesus to love you. so i got that going for me too.
i'll bet THESE GUYS can't hop up the stairs on one leg or fit into a cheap pair of used jeans. but what the fuck, jesus probably still loves them.
and now, the world's best halloween song.
i love you sons of bitches.
19 comments:
If you get tired of hopping you could try sliding down the hand rail. It might be OK if your new jeans protect your privates without too much friction.
No fair using handrails.
I know a doctor here that can give you great new knees, and she's not bad looking either.
Maybe jesus hates everyone and it's someone else that loves you. Maybe the great hooker in the sky, never met a hooker I didn't like.
Still, be careful out there, jesus may have you in his sights, watch for monkeymobiles with jesus bumper stickers and crosses hanging on the rear view mirror.
It amuses me when that backfires on them and a cross gets embedded in a forehead.
gb - i can't fit on the handrail.
bill - i'll use the handrail whilst in training and hopefully i'll be able to do the trick without the handrail after lots of practice but i can't start until things heal.
whilst, so british, but I'm okay with that being as I'm not a grammar cop and english is a piece of shit.
I found a twenty in some swimming trunks one time, but it was my own twenty from the summer before. I guess Jesus likes me.
Man, Oklahoma is the forth fattest state.
I've lost a lot of weight and just squeaked by with 24.4 BMI.
BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9 (Normal Weight)
found money..what a great feeling...use both legs dipshit, that's what the Goddess gave them to you for.
use both legs dipshit,
Geez, everyone knows that us dipshits have to be dipshits at times or there wouldn't be any dipshits on this planet.
bill - i beg to differ, english is the best language on the planet.
tex - it might be worthwhile just spending all day at thrift stores checking all the pockets.
yellowdog - i'll bet 2 bucks that the goddess is a figment of your imagination, dipshit.
Score!
And every time I come over here, I find myself giggling at Ruby's furry snout. Such a cute picture.
i wish i shared ruby's popularity.
Glad you hung on to the rail! Wrecking both knees would have been very bad.
Jeans that pay for themselves! Now that's a great deal.
It did not surprise me at all that so many of the 10 fattest states were in the south... they fry so much stuff!
Jesus has to love everyone... its in the rule book.
I forgot to say how much I enjoyed the song. I've never heard that one before. I'm not a big fan of O'Connor but Shane is the best!
Jesus has to love everyone... its in the rule book.
Would that happen to be the book I burn on campfires?
Hey, the Charlie Browns tomatoes statement on the header can get lost now, the season has passed.
silly - may i recommend "am i not your girl?" it's my favorite sinead album. songs like haunted show what a great composer shane is, he can write anything, a feckin genius!
bill - i forgot about charlie brown's tomato. i'll put removing it on my to do list.
I'll have a listen to it. Shane is outstanding and his music and lyrics are musical poetry.
I don't know if you burn it or not BBC... but Gideon has plenty more.
Nice job, JC. Way to hook up, BP. Good luck tomorrow hunting for those candy bargains.
@texlahoma maybe he likes you now, but he certainly didn't last year!
tex - is this true??
was it something i said or was it a bob/ruby dust-up?
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