Wednesday, April 4, 2012

a penny saved....

our lovely prime minister has decided that it's time to STOP PRODUCING PENNIES!

i'm outraged at this decision and have written a lovely letter to the PMO (prime minister's office) requesting that the prime minister revisit this terrible decision. if the decision to stop producing the penny goes through our faithful friend will die a slow death and it will be up to the merchants to decide when it's time to stop handing out pennies in change and start rounding up to the nearest nickel. we consumers stand to lose a few cents per transaction. in order to save the money lost in rounding credit cards and debit cards are ready to step in thus ensuring the move to electronic purchasing keeps moving ahead.

using credit cards and debit cards gives those slick marketing people great data on our spending habits and how effective their advertising campaigns have been. i don't like having some evil genius knowing my spending habits. having pennies in circulation also forces people to use basic mathematics when paying for their purchase and counting their change.

so far none of my friends or co-workers share my outrage over the demise of the penny.

First they came for the pennies,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a penny.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for me
and there was no one left to speak out for me.

woe is me.



i love you sons of bitches.

52 comments:

thimscool said...

It's all just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic as we await the Amero.

silly rabbit said...

I am sure that American cents are not far behind. I don't often spend my pennies. I collect them in jars. Perhaps when my grand kids get old they will be worth something.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I think the Aussies got rid of their one cent coins many years ago, but I don't think they rounded up their prices. If a retailer owed you 51 cents change, he only gave you 50 cents. Maybe you could ask shops to start a penny account for you, so you can claim them back on your next purchase.

Anonymous said...

".....so far none of my friends or co-workers share my outrage over the demise of the penny....."

Wouldn't this normally lead one to delve into a bit of introspection? You know, ruminating on the value of friends and co-workers?

"....forces people to use basic mathematics when paying for their purchase of counting their change...."

In which reality do you dwell?
Basic mathematics?
Fuck me from behind with an abacus, the only arithmetic skills Canadian cunts possess are 'adding' sugar to their Tim Hortons, 'subtracting' years from their obese lives, 'dividing' their time between watching 'IRT Dangerous Roads: Mariana Trench' and 'Hockey Night In Canada' and 'multiplying' the number of STDs they sport.

BBC said...

I have a can full of pennies, guess I should cash them in.

I was expecting a post about your new power washer and a bout with the neighbor.

billy pilgrim said...

thims - i knew obumble was trying to kill your currency but i hadn't factored in amero. better get more silver turtles.

silly - i think that's why we're getting rid of the penny, people collect them rather than circulate them.

gb - i think those rotten aussies also got rid of their nickel. there's been conflicting stories here about rounding up or down.

aquarians - we canadians all struggle with the nhl salary cap. without the penny as a building block we'll never figure it out.

bbc - luckily my neighbor didn't notice all the spray drifting towards her laundry on the clothes line.

Anonymous said...

You call yourself a Canadian yet you spell like a cuntbutlering Yank.

Canadians have 'neighbours' not 'neighbors'.

Sheesh!

Have you no honour?

thimscool said...

Your can is full of penises?

billy pilgrim said...

as my good friend dimitri karamazov was so fond saying, i am an honest and honorable man and will suffer no disrespect from you.

my sperm's in the gutter, my love's in the sink.

Anonymous said...

A quote, sort of, from The Brothers?
Nyuck, nyuck!

Though an 'On her; off her' quip would have been better.

In the spiritual drama of your moral struggle with faith, doubt, reason and free will, as it concerns your life, you cannot find within yourself the graciousness to distinguish between hyperbolic sarcasm and disrespect?

Oh dear.
Shall I call in The Grand Inquisitor?

texlahoma said...

I might not care about pennies as much as you, but cash, definitely.

The thing about cash, no one can turn it off.

Not that there could ever be an evil government, but if it somehow happened, they could just say

"Billy, you've been bad so we turned off your card, you can't buy anything now." "Go live in the streets and (in the U.S.) you had better have proof of health insurance."

Anonymous said...

"......The thing about cash, no one can turn it off....."

Yes they can and they do it often. It's called demonetising the current currency and replacing it with a new one. Done usually to flush-out cash hoarders and the underground economy.
Gold is the only vehicle that they cannot 'turn off' - well, that and the male sex drive, of course. Women will always possess a 'currency'.

TheWayfarer said...

I don't see Amero/NAU flying, as Canada & Mexico like their sovereignty and are not as likely to bend over and whore themselves out to BanKhazar & the UN as Washington DC has been.

billy pilgrim said...

sooner or later the world is going to inflate it's way out of debt leaving your fiat currency virtually worthless much like a bankrupt corporation converting debt to equity leaving the common shareholders with fuck all.

of course in the long run we're all dead.

BBC said...

I hope to blow some shit up before gitting dead.

thimscool said...

Not me. I intend to live forever.

Galt, the Mexicans would be delighted at the opportunity. The Canadians not so much. But the opinions of commoners like all of us are not consequential to the greedy fucks that will sign up for front row seats when the dollar craps the bed.

BBC said...

A few years back I was always picking up change, the youth were always tossing it out like it was worth nothing.

Robert the Skeptic said...

I forgot the stats but apparently it costs more than the penny is worth to produce them. Obama is considering the same thing in the US.

I pick up pennies all the time, they are like trash. Almost nobody puts in the effort to bend over and pick one up.

I find it annoying that businesses always price something as $xx.99 and such. Gimmie a break, does anyone REALLY think they are getting a bargain because the dollar amount "appears" less by one cent? Apparently so!

BBC said...

Canada seems like a quirky country to me with its ties to England.

BBC said...

I find it annoying that businesses always price something as $xx.99 and such.

And the way they price gas here is anal. What's with nine tenths of a cent? It's not $4.07.9 a gallon, it's fucking $4.08 a gallon.

Anonymous said...

BBC,

If you want to 'blow shit up', start here:

202 Cottingham St.
Rathnelly Republic,
Toronto, Ontario,
M4E 2S3

It's BP's rental property and he tells me it needs a new roof like, real bad. It's 130 years old and slate - and will cost $35,000 to replace.
The dump is hyper-insured and he tells me there are rather 'explosive' things stored in the basement - a simple incendiary through the window will suffice.
He'll fly you up, or down, depending on where you live in Washington State, and pay all your expenses.

The tenants, six of them, are expendable - so not to worry.

Deal?

Secret Agent Woman said...

What will happen tot the tradition of finding lucky pennies? You really cant have lucky nickles - it would be unseemly.

BBC said...

I'm not flying to Toronto, Ontario, I don't do flying. And I'm not close enough to death to start blowing shit up yet.

billy pilgrim said...

bill - our gas stations have started selling gas with .2 or .4 at the end of the price. i paid $1.58.4/liter for premium to put in the lawnmower.

thims - now that our dollar is at par or better with your dollar we like it. (the manufacturers back east are crying the blues because they've lost the competitive advantage of a cheap dollar)

robert - it costs 1.6 cents to make a canadian penny and the mint expects to save 11 million bucks by discontinuing the penny. that's the price of a few spare parts for our fighter jets or submarines that won't submerge.

secret - and how about "penny for your thoughts"

BBC said...

I think Thim's said it costs something like 2.5 cents for us to mint a penny. Hell, I won't miss it.

BBC said...

Hum, I had forgotten that I have a can full of rubber bands, everyday is like christmas around here.

TheWayfarer said...

Aquarians Love To Cuddle said...
BBC,

If you want to 'blow shit up', start here:

202 Cottingham St.
Rathnelly Republic,
Toronto, Ontario,
M4E 2S3

It's BP's rental property and he tells me it needs a new roof like, real bad. It's 130 years old and slate - and will cost $35,000 to replace.
The dump is hyper-insured and he tells me there are rather 'explosive' things stored in the basement - a simple incendiary through the window will suffice.
He'll fly you up, or down, depending on where you live in Washington State, and pay all your expenses.

The tenants, six of them, are expendable - so not to worry.

Deal?

April 5, 2012 4:17 PM

*LMMFAO!!!, skips alongside goose-stepping gang of DHS gorillas swinging ball-bat*
Somebody's gonna GEEEEEET it!

BBC said...

Going though my pennies, so far I've found two pre 1982 pennies and a Canadian penny with two dates on it, am I rich yet?

BBC said...

Galt...

The tenants, six of them, are expendable - so not to worry.

No point in me worrying about six fucking monkeys.

BBC said...

Fuck, here is a nineteen sixty three penny, I can't type it in numbers cuz the one key is stuck down, fucking peppermint schnapps is sticky shit when it drys.

BBC said...

1111234, ah, gotta love WD-40.

BBC said...

Um, is this 1944 penny worth anything?

billy pilgrim said...

fuck me, i could an accessory to murder if you burn down some shit hole full of deadbeats and make the deal on this pathetic blog of mine.

thimscool said...

Please provide video.

BBC said...

Is the sun shining there today? Looks like it's going to be a real nice day here, you'd better fire up that pressure washer.

I'm going to move wood and mow Helen's back yard and get the camper ready for a camping trip.

yellowdoggranny said...

I expect us to do the same..been waiting for it for a couple of years.

billy pilgrim said...

couldn't power wash today.

i've been hiding from romans and jews in the bat cave all day.

BBC said...

There's always tomorrow. Well, until there isn't anymore tomorrows.

BBC said...

I see that smelters are paying more for junk batteries so they can get the lead so the price of lead will be going up, and new batteries.

Na, I'm hanging on to my lead.

harry said...

"Rat on Fire" anyone?







fucking rats.

billy pilgrim said...

bill - i don't see a future in lead.

harry - rats. sweet and lowdown?

McRaven said...

pennys are really from heaven...

Static said...

I don't see why we can't replace all money with clams.

Charlie said...
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Charlie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Charlie said...

Due to an over active bladder I am always spending a penny, if i go to canada, will I have to hold it in?

billy pilgrim said...

mcraven - that means our religious prime minister is a blasphemer getting rid of god's spare change.

static - good idea but the vietnamese boat people stripped all the clams from our beaches a while back.

charlie - hell no, our vegetables and green and you pee right into the stream.

texlahoma said...

If they get rid of pennies, seems like for math's sake, they should get rid of nickles, assuming Canadians have nickles.

harry said...

pilgrim-

"Rat on Fire" by Geo V Higgins.
(Friends of Eddie Coyle)

silly rabbit said...

Well, no blog post this week... so I decided to wish you a Happy Canadian Easter Monday! Hope the bunny brought you wonderful treats. But watch out for the ju-jubes!

billy pilgrim said...

tex - we got more nickels than brains up here.

harry - i'll never forget robert mitchum saying "number 4, bobby orr" at the hockey game while those nogoodniks were getting ready to kill him.

silly - i went shopping today and didn't buy one ju jube. they were only 50% off, the real test will come when they're 75% off!

Anonymous said...

Truant from Tralfamadore said,

".....fuck me, i could an accessory to murder if you burn down some shit hole full of deadbeats and make the deal on this pathetic blog of mine......"

Shit-hole it is, but it is valued at 1.2 million!
And the tenants are not deadbeats - they pay their rents on time and rather quiet for U of T types.