earlier this year our federal government decided it was time to put the lowly penny out of it's misery. the penny will die a slow death. they haven't been taken out of circulation. they have stopped being produced and will gradually disappear as they end up under seat cushions and in raspberry jam jars in many people's homes.
now the federal government has replaced our paper $50 and $100 bills with plastic bills. i don't like the new plastic bills. they're really thin and slippery and they don't fold worth a shit but we're told they are very difficult to counterfeit.
now with the hot summer weather we have a problem with our new plastic bills.
THE FUCKING THINGS MELT IN THE SUN!
several years ago we replaced the one and two dollar bills with coins. the loonie, one dollar coin, had no initial problems but the new loonie doesn't work in vending machines. some machines take them and some don't. i was paying cash in a self serve check out and pumped in 3 loonies but was only credited with paying $1.50. i put in one old loonie and 2 new loonies. the new loonies somehow registered 25 cents rather than a dollar. i had to explain my problem to a recent dark skinned immigrant in customer service.
when the toonie came out there was a design problem. in their infinite wisdom, the royal canadian mint made the toonie and 2 piece coin and the center piece would fall out if it got real cold. for a while it was national pastime tossing the toonie in the freezer to see what would happen.
i love you sons of bitches.
104 comments:
Good Lord I now have reason to run up across the boarder..Opps I need to get a pass port...For some reason when I try to get back in United States the custom here think I'm some big time criminal.
But I've always thought your money was pretty. Not a dinghy green with dead people (president) on it.
I have a quick question about the plastic money...Is it any benefiting the oil companies? Any thing with plastic in it is made from oil base.
It seem like people here can't relate to a one dollar coins here in the United States.
Coffee is on
Melting money-- sounds like deficit reduction to me.
When in the hell does it ever get hot in Canada? And when it does start getting hot here you had better start fucking worrying all these stupid fuckers in the southern US wanting to move there because it's turned into an oven there.
I suggest you invest in property there and get ready for the land rush.
Dora, you don't need a passport to go there, all you need is an enhanced driver license. Well, you live in Idaho so maybe it is different there but here in Washington that is all you need to go there and I have one.
I haven't used it to go there yet but it's a pretty little fucker.
I miss the good old days when we just went back and forth across the border like it was no big deal.
Can't we all just get along? Fuck, I guess not.
Melting money-- sounds like deficit reduction to me.
Makes decent bullets...
Idaho doesn't have the enhanced driver license but I can purchase a wallet size passport for $45 that the last price I heard...which is good to into Canada and Mexico....Since I live in County (Boundary) that boarders Canada and long as one had 9B plates it was no hassle...One time I was ask if I was drug (heroin) run...What a stupid question.
Well. Ha. I don't know what tickles me more... that the new bills melt, that someone put his wallet in a toaster oven and turned it on or that your coins are "loonies" and "toonies" !
Ah the irony! Sounds frustrating billy.
The plastic notes should be OK if you keep them in your wallet, but the toonie sounds like a nightmare. Nothing more annoying than having a machine steal your cash and the centrepiece falling out is comical. The director of the Royal Canadian Mint deserves a butt-kicking.
Oops, just noticed I confused the loonie with the toonie, but the director of your Mint still deserves a butt-kicking.
".......i had to explain my problem to a recent dark skinned immigrant in customer service......"
Personally, I have found explaining anything, much less a problem, to a native-born Caucasoid in the Canadas to be a rather fruitless endeavour. They're mostly unlettered and innumerate and so fucking stupid it boggles my mind to understand why Mother Nature hasn't despatched them by now.
peppy - i hope it's chocolate flavored coffee.
bob - our conservative prime minister like to fund his social programs with money that disappears.
bbc - we agree on global warming and it ain't going to be pretty in 10 years or so.
silly - a wallet full of loonies and toonies can be a real pain in the arse.
gb - it's all part of a sinister plot forcing us to use electronic funds transfers so our every move can be monitored.
aquarians - nice to see that you deleted your comment calling me a racist. i don't know who's more predictable, you or bbc.
I am much more predictable.
And I am far more racist than you could possibly conceptualise for your own onerous proclivities.
We Mongoloids don't refer to it as racism though, we call it truth.
aquarians - i accept your apology. perhaps you can tell me if the oyu tolgoi mine is on time and on budget?
As I accept yours.
Does it really matter if mine is on time or on budget?
The Caucasoid cunts at Ivanhoe and Rio Tinto will adjust their rape to accommodate any financial indiscretions.
Plastic money - I don't much care for the sound of that.
I can imagine that a wallet full of loonies and toonies is quite lumpy. I wouldn't want to sit on that.
".....for a while it was national pastime tossing the toonie in the freezer to see what would happen....."
It was also rather entertaining to watch Canucks name it:
"The Lady with the bear behind" comes to mind
A weird fucking storm here keeps fucking the grid up, I'm shutting down for a while.
aquarians - you'll come to love robert freidland and his famous tailing ponds.
secret - they feel even worse than they sound.
silly - those big coins can wreak havoc on a man's sciatic nerve if not properly stowed away.
aquarians - i wrote a letter to our fine conservative government complaining about these coins and they told me to piss off. at least chretien would have thanked me for my comments and and sent me a 2 for 1 big mac coupon.
If I am not mistaken, the two-dollar coin was introduced in 1996. Was not Mr. Chretien the Prime Minister then?
East of the Manitoba/Ontario border, it's a two-for-one Poutine coupon that would be sent with the thank you note.
I suspect the current Conservative Government which rules with a majority mandate o'er all the Canadas was not annoyed at you for disparaging the two-dollar coin, but because they despise any and all Canadians who can not only read and write, but can also use the mails effectively.
And, you probably did not include any body parts from visible minorities with your missive, that really irks those former Reformers.
i can't remember the chronology of my writing about coins but i am sure it was the reformers/conservatives that told me to piss off. maybe i'll write good old stephen about assisted suicide in the coming days.
BBC, when you come back (and we all know you will) why don't you supply the name of these male bloggers you allege shut off comments and/or stopped blogging because of me? Even one name will do.
Lying sack of shit.
What a coward you are.
If a Pomeranian leg shows up at any of your government offices, please let me know.
I just don't get it, what is with that little cocksucker?
My problem with single women is simple, they are fucked up.
bbc - do you remember the rules?
i have no interest in where you want to put your wiener.
We need to go back to beaver pelts as currency. Or maybe we can just trade yams. Have a good one, BP. Hope the heat wave doesn't last too long.
Just reading your comment from other people but I'm still like to know...Is the oil company getting anything out of the making the money? Oil is use in plastic....Coffee is on...don't have any flavor ones now.
mr shife - i think our indians have laid claim to the beavers but it's a good idea.
dora - i think the amount of plastic used in the bills is miniscule. i would imagine that the amount of plastic used in bills for one year would be less than the amount of plastic used in one hour of bottled water consumption.
billy said,
".....i have no interest in where you want to put your(BBC's) wiener....."
Even if it was this place?
Leslie taunted,
".....Even one name will do......"
This guy
The poor guy left Blogger entirely, AND had Gender Reassignment Surgery he was so devasted.
That contraption actually resembles his previous girlfriend, only I don't think she had a handle.
I'm walking into the kitchen to get a spoon, so I'll be off the grid for awhile.
Your above two comments are not commutatively connected, are they?
You know, cause and effect?
It may take poor Leslie awhile.
In case anyone is baffled, my 'commutatively connected' comment requires one to envision, you know, a ground penis and the spoon up with which to pick it.
The spoon, and the accompanying cherry have no anatomical significance. Only BBC would think that!
Further, the intimation is that the penis is so large the largest spoon in the world is required to contain its disparate parts and poor Leslie will need to travel far and wide in order to get this spoon.
I apologise if anyone, other than BBC, misunderstood my missive. I do not wish, nor have I ever wished, nor do I ever expect to wish, to spelunk in the fair Leslie's variegated vaginal vortex.
Not to mention having to attend to her prestidigitationaly prehensile clitoris - that chthonic Cerberusian 'Keeper of Gates' that the fair Leslie refers to as, "Mr. Tickles".
Sheesh!
And her mind, body and soul?
Respectively:
pisiform, piriform and puriform.
billy said,
"....those big coins can wreak havoc on a man's sciatic nerve if not properly stowed away....."
This might be Piriformis Syndrome.
Full circle?
Yes?
Wow. Someone's a hot mess today.
I know!
I'm having a nasty pharmaceutical contra-indication - big time!
Stop snorting Premarin!
I'm in the Valley of the Dolls, for christ's sake.
I hope I don't end up like Ms. Tate though - forked to death.
I think you mean Valley of the Webkins!
Better stop with the rimming jokes, you are gonna get deleted!
Neigh,
whinny
and
clippity-clop indeed!
What a punk-ass move! You're as bad as BBC.
You mean as 'good' as BBC.
Right?
And it is more of an emo-ass move, truth be told.
I mean as pansy-assed as BBC, and he's so emo'ed he's emo-less.
Get a room, bitches!
Snorting Premarin has unfortunate side-effects. I keep downloading pirated copies of Michael Martin Murphey tunes from LimeWire and Ares Galaxy.
"She comes down from Yellow Mountain"
I think I'll switch to Vidatox - it's origins are intriguing.
Fuck off MG
Idiots....
bbc - rules are rules you old fucking hypocrite.
Damn...
Sounds to me like, if they have Direct Deposit & debit card accounts in Canada, it's time to get one.
Bills that melt and coins that fall apart? And we thought the US economy was flimsy!
BBC~ you better cut back on hookers and buy some teeth, as it looks like the grocery store shelves will be low on creamed corn, oatmeal, and Farina in the near future.
Also, please note The War of Northern Aggression is over, so buy a new map. There's a large part of the United States called "The Midwest", and some other stuff called "The Southwest".
..........
Have I ever mentioned that you're fucking idiots?
BBC~ you better cut back on hookers and buy some teeth, as it looks like the grocery store shelves will be low on creamed corn, oatmeal, and Farina in the near future.
You seem to have missed the fact that I have grinders that can make ANYTHING edible. Also the fact that I only enjoy one 'hooker' being as I'm so picky.
Idiots.....
bbc - rules are rules you old fucking hypocrite.
Fuck you, really, fuck you. Go wash the wife's suv.
One of us is a hypocrite, go look in a mirror.
By "grinders" you mean mechanical devices for pulvarizing food, right? Not dentures? Won't Uncle Sam buy you some teeth? Actually, I hope not. It seems a bit unfair the government is paying your property taxes and utility bills while you're buying hookers. American....but unfair.
Monstergirl frothed,
"....creamed corn, oatmeal, and Farina...."
Leslie ejaculated,
".....while you're buying hookers....."
Perhaps our beloved BBC can combine the two 'needs'?
Necessity is the Mother of Invention.
Suzy Creamcheese?
Polenta? You know, keeping the plastic 'tube' after eating the contents.
Well I, for one, feel enriched by this scintillating conversation!
Personally, this conversation has given me a scintillating scotoma. Though I figure BBC experienced a scintillating scrotum from it.
Leslie, conversely, donned the Scintillating Headdress of Second Sight, it would seem.
Where ya been, Thimscool? Breeding and stockpiling lead?
I've decided I have enough ammo so I'm fervently focused on fucking.
And alliteration too, it would seem.
yes thims, if you want scintillating conversation this is the place to be but i am a little disappointed in the aquarian for not coming to my defense after mr cook was a little nasty to me. she may have lost her most favored nations status.
It's 'Favoured' Nation Status and I was unaware that you required my help dealing with that curmudgeon - you have Line-Item Veto power 'round here for fuck's sake!
Besides, the abuse of BBC falls within auspices and purview of the fair Leslie.
My raison d'être is to keep Leslie honest.
there goes your seat on the security council.
It's not abuse, I am simply observing, questioning, and clarifying.
I posted a photo of the garden harvest from this weekend. :-)
secret - wow! that puts my one tomato to shame.
................
You're flatlining?
Yippee!
Makes your latest post even more poignant!
Hahaha , now THAT,S funny
....ya walked RIGHT the fuck into that one Willie.
80 comments!?!
(I'm just replying to the post.)
The new money costs twice as much to make and it melts. Whoever came up with this should lose their job, at minimum.
harry - gimme a hint!
tex - thanks for commenting on the melting money. yeah, these are the same fucknuts that decided we didn't need the penny.
..............
###############
%%%%%%%%%%%%%
@@@@@@@@@@@
&&&&&&&&&&&&&
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***************
Woof, woof.
FINALLY! someone barked at me!
10 bonus points.
Are we still talking about money here? Loony, loony. Sounds like it's time for another trip to Canada. Haven't been in too long. ;)
hi jayne - yeah, we're supposed to be talking about money but some of my readers are easily distracted. so it goes.
Was Thimscool talking about his hooker again?
he penned a juvenile comment and suggested i delete it, so it did.
i guess he can try and post a few comments on his good buddy bbc's frankenblog.
Show me the money!
Childish? Actually they were clever, but your readers will not be able to evaluate that for themselves, now that you deleted them and illustrated the point.
Thanks!
Woof, woof...
Canadians are richer than us? That's very interesting, I wonder how long they can keep that magic show going. For as long as their natural resources last I guess.
Or until we start moving there in droves because the southern part of our country has gone to hell. But it's okay, Canada has always been a redneck place, with a touch of high class.
I'd never move to Canada, I can't afford their fucking beer.
Last time I checked, Cleveland, Canton, Flint, Detroit, Scranton, Buffalo, and Las Vegas weren't in the South, but you keep right on thinking only the South is declining and that there will be a mass exodus to Canada. If you weren't all bullshit and stereotypes you wouldn't be nearly as entertaining.
Plastic money? That's insanity!
Post a Comment