i've loved russian novels for as long as i can remember. i think it all started when i read crime and punishment as a teenager. what struck me with crime and punishment was the description of russian society. i grew up during the cold war and we were bombarded with government propaganda about russians being backward, illiterate neanderthals. after reading crime and punishment i realized that russians were pretty similar to us westerners and all the stuff we were being fed by our leaders was total bullshit designed to feed the military establishment. so it goes.
one good thing about russia is the respect with which they treat their veterans. in order to protect their veterans local governments DRAIN FOUNTAINS FOR DRUNKEN PARATROOPERS.
our asshole leaders would make a big deal out of rehabilitating the soldiers and providing counseling. and of course they'd be at the ready with grief counselors if some poor sod drowned in a fountain. drain the fountains and send fair maidens with pillows and aspirins for the soldiers!
i had another moment of bliss last night. whilst watching coneheads after properly medicating myself this song came on and i was in seventh heaven:
drunken russian paratroopers, coneheads, dropping cool stuff on mars, nubile gymnasts on tv and a loving farting pitbull by my side. life is good.
i love you sons of bitches.
53 comments:
In Russia novel read YOU.
????
I explain againski comradeski.
In Canada, you delete comment
In Russia comment deletes YOU.
Crime and Punishment is a great novel, but I don't think it shows Russians in a great light. Raskolnikov was an intelligent guy, but his head was full of bullshit ideas that led him to commit a completely senseless murder.
One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich is good work comrades.
Also The Gulag Archipelago.
Once fountain is drained, how many drunken paratroopers are found?
I think is plot.
I think moose and squirrel is behind plot.
The thing I hate about paratroopers is the way they're always dropping in unexpectedly.
gb - yes, flawed just like us.
harry - can you tell me what hugh is saying and hugh, can you please decode harry's message.
tex - it would probably make an excellent video game, drunken russian paratroopers must make their way to a magical fountain.
What do I have to do to convince you to become a Democratic candidate for President of the USA?
C'mon, it'll be fun! It can work...And nobody would have to get nailed to anything:
LEO 2012: "LET THE GOOD TIMES ROLL/HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!"
"......drain the fountains and send fair maidens with pillows and aspirins for the soldiers!....."
I'd keep the fair maidens from Colonel Russell Williams though - he being a tad too romantic. And if any of these Nightingales sport so much as a paper cut, I'd keep them from Captain Robert Semrau - he just can't suffer the suffering of others. And if these Angels of Mercy resemble an unarmed Somali teenager, for Allah's sake, keep them from Pte Kyle Brown and MCpl Clayton Matchee.
Shall I go on?
pilgrimski-
I can't account for everything but i suspect HughG is trying to impress you with his big head.
Book titles are works by A Solzhenitsyn, a veteran of the Great Patriotic War; when nearly all veterans taken prisoner by the Third Reich were automatically considered guilty by The Boss of some exile worthy offense if not a few grams of hot lead in the back of the neck at the bottom of the stairs.
As far as moose and squirrel, i suspect lame attempt at humor. I usually fwap to Popeye.
Now, if you can me what teh Fuck Loving Aquarian is
alluding to we'll be that much more knowledgable.
Harry Eyeball ask me to hep you to the jive pilgrim, are you ready?
Russian reversal or "In Soviet Russia" is a type of joke originated by Jackoff Smirnoff, and is an example of antimetabole. The general form of the "In Soviet Russia" joke is that the subject and objects of a statement are reversed, and "In (Soviet) Russia," or something equivalent, is added, and the verb is often left unconjugated and articles are omitted, mimicking perceived Russian-accented speech. The original was:
In America, you can always find a party.
In Soviet Russia, Party always find YOU.
galt - i'm ready! we'll go to israel and undue the damage obumble done and promise them the moon if i win.
aquarians - oh go on, go on. no one waxes poetic like you.
harry - have you seen the movie "come and see"? it's a must see if you're interested in the soviet perspective of the big war.
Dear the two cuntbutlers above,
To the first cuntbutler, the avatar for whom displays a cigar which is not just a cigar, I make no allusions. My word salad contains neither casual nor indirect references. On the contrary, my prose is both deliberate and unambiguous to those who might enjoy the escapades of Canada's fine men and women in uniform.
And to the second cuntbutler, the avatar for whom resembles a sufferer of Leishmaniasis, the comedian's name is Yakov Smirnoff.
Well SOMEONE has to stir the shitepot while our hero goes camping, no?
In America, Navy Seals claim no one can drown them.
(not true; I drowned one at Savannah Ga in ' 76, he choked on my name and never came up.
Good times, good times.
In Russia, paratroopers are so tough only they can drown one another.
Geronimoooooo!
And Chuck Norris is so tough he can divide by zero!
Fuck Loving Antiquarians-
Are you not attempting to make an allusion when you refer to my fine fucking cigar as something other than a fine fucking ...ah, cigar?
Pray tell, what could it be if not a fine fucking Habana?
I enjoy the escapades of those fine Canadian mens and womens OUT of uniform more than IN uniform.
"......Pray tell, what could it be if not a fine fucking Habana?....."
Ask that unfortunate SEAL gurgling in Savannah, GA.
Putin approves of this message.
aquarians - has your english tutor ever spoke of "come and see"?
"....Are you not attempting to make an allusion when you refer to my fine fucking cigar as something other than a fine fucking ...ah, cigar?...."
Again, I've used neither a casual nor indirect reference - there is no allusion.
What I have actually done is ordered a metaphoric certainty.
"......aquarians - has your english tutor ever spoke of "come and see"?....."
I am forbidden to view such nonsense. It portrays that fine Aryan race in a poor light.
"Come and see. And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and her name that sat on him was Leslie, and BBC followed with her. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with boredom, and with the beasts of the earth."
ALTF -
That poor bastard sleeps with the fishes.
But he did say that it was the best cigar he'd ever had the pleasure of.
Fair true enough, you flat out DECLARE my cigar is more than just a....a cigar.
You say Yakov, I say Jackoff, let's call the swhole thing off?
pilgrim -
Sounds like a good flic, I'm still stuck on The Third Man.
I gotta find that soundtrack some day.
a woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
pilgrim said
"......aquarians - has your english tutor ever spoke of "come and see"?....."
ALTF said
" i am forbidden to view such nonsense.
Blah, blah, blah..."
What would your tutor call THIS example of evasion?
You were not asked about your eligibility of VIEWING only whether your tutor ever SPOKE of it.
How would you know WHAT it portrays if you have not seen it?
I don't think the poor frozen starving bastards at Stalingrad considered it such nonsense.
Fuck loving Aquarians allow others to dictate their viewing material?
I could understand recommendations up or down in the interest of not wasting more time than necessary but outright verboten? Sounds like Catholics or nazis.
Oh, same difference, sorry.
Are we making book on Willards runningdog mate yet?
Tagg?
Josh?
Matt?
Ben?
Craig?
Paul Ryan?
Condolezzzzza ?
The Wifey?
Bush III?
B Jindelle*.?
S Brown ?
Palin (take your pick)?
I know shit about Russian novels but it's clear that Harry and his other persona, Hugh, knows quiet a bit about them.
There's a lot of shit in that fucking hillbillie hippy head of his from things he's read. Deep shit like I have never read.
All I read on the boat while camping on it was a book he gave me, "1401 THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF." And a fucking book about fishing in this state.
And I caught a fucking fish, proving that there's stupid fucking fish in that lake.
And I'm eating my first home grown tomato tomorrow.
I liked One day in the life of Ivan Denisovich too.
While in college I enjoyed Russian fairy tales and other legends. They were all pretty dark and a bit alien, but that's what made them good.
Well, it was a good idea to drain the fountains. But I think they should help them to put pants on too. A striped shirt and a beret isn't enough. =;]
Love the Coneheads! Thank you.
harry - hit me with a stick and call me stupid but somehow i'm a big condi rice supporter. she seems awfully smart and looks tougher than old rat shit.
bill - if you're eating a ripe tomato you're ahead of me. i've got tons of green tomatoes but nothing close to ripe.
silly - i had forgot just how much i liked the coneheads. just listening to jane curtain cracked me up.
I have no idea how I got a fucking ripe tomato, or a plant to stay alive along enough to get one, but it was kind of tasty.
I can honestly say that this is the first time I have seen all of these words combined together in a sentence, and it is complete awesomeness.
drunken russian paratroopers, coneheads, dropping cool stuff on mars, nubile gymnasts on tv and a loving farting pitbull by my side. life is good.
Love it. Take care BP.
Maybe you fucking idiots should stop reading so much and go do some camping and fishing?
At some point in your life you have to stop reading and start thinking for yourself.
Albert Einstein...
mr shife - thanks, now i'll start working on a new sentence next week.
bill - reading helps keep my neurons firing in the right sequence, just like an engine.
harry said,
".....What would your tutor call THIS example of evasion?...."
A good one, but far from my best work.
You don't appear to be particularly thick, perhaps you are just not trying hard enough?
"......I don't think the poor frozen starving bastards at Stalingrad considered it such nonsense......"
Better to be a starving commie cunt at Volgograd than a freedom loving battered bastard of Bastogne I reckon.
I think I'll go boating tomorrow.
The Bermuda Triangle is lovely this time of year!
So is Puget Sound, it's a lovely place to whack off on a boat, I'd invite Ms. Fun along but she hates boating.
But that clerk in the hardware store that is getting so chummy might like boating.
Na, she doesn't know about my blog, that would blow it for that cocksucker.
And that's too bad cuz I wouldn't care if she sucked my cock or not as long as I could kiss her tits.
All that propaganda we were fed in school, what a shame and what a waste of our time.
I married a man whose mother was Russian and I am proud to tell anyone that fact. And his father was German. Quite the mixture there.
BBC said,
".....Puget Sound, it's a lovely place to whack off on a boat....."
So it is your inorganic seminal fluid that has caused the precipitous crash in the West Coast salmon population?
You should be ashamed of yourself.
cheyenne - the motherland and the fatherland unite!
aquarians - bbc's sperm's in the gutter his love's in the sink.
His sperm's in the gutter.
His love is in the sink.
His greasy fingers smearing
Shabby clothes, I think.
My sperm is just fine, and I boated 52.4 miles today.
So it is your inorganic seminal fluid that has caused the precipitous crash in the West Coast salmon population?
Actually, it was the damming of some important salmon run rivers without putting fish ladders in them, and over fishing because there's so fucking many of us.
And I was here before the rest of you so please kill yourselves so I can have some more space again.
I'd kill you but I'm at a phase in my existence where I'm not into that.
Tomorrow however is a different day.
BBC ejaculated,
"......My sperm is just fine, and I boated 52.4 miles today....."
Are you sure?
You fool, my sperm hasn't got to make healthy kids, it just has to get out of me.
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