Monday, December 17, 2012

a tale of two carols

merry feckin xmas!

i happen to like christmas carols. it wouldn't bug me if they played them all year on radio stations or in elevators. it would supply a nice topic for conversation with strangers whilst ascending to stars. it would be a nice way to break the ice with any nice young things you might encounter.

so here are my two favorite christmas carols:

rowdy roddy!

and the lovely dame kiri te kanawa, she could whisper two turtledoves in my ear until the end of time and i wouldn't tire of it.

they're both so good i can't decide which is the better version so maybe you can help me decide

i love you sons of bitches!

171 comments:

BBC said...

Woof...

silly rabbit said...

I found them both delightful in their own way! I must say the nipple twisting gave me a good laugh.

I remember the beautiful singing of the lady from last year. She really is something.

But you gotta love Roddy too!

Gorilla Bananas said...

The first one is something the three stooges could have used to make their films more amusing. I wonder if anyone has told Dame Kiri she's got a great behind. I hope she'd appreciate the compliment.

billy pilgrim said...

bill - excellent response.

silly - last year i was infatuated with the lovely dame kiri. its worn off a bit this year but she's still hot in my books.

gb - any time you can combine rasslin with the birth of our savior you're going to get a classic and i like the classics!

BBC said...

If Ruby can really type posts maybe I should hold her in higher regard and not whine about the lack of her not using caps.

Anonymous said...

Harry said, quoting BBC,

"....."Two of those pairs of tits were close to twenty years older than me but what the hell, fine tits are fine tits....................

December 16, 2012 7:26 PM"

Yeah, those synthetic bolt-on teats dont age like real flesh and blood........"

Well bless your little heart, harry, you done spelt 'teats' correctly.
I shall now have a merry Winter Solstice Debauch!

You should see Dame Kiri Janette Te Kanawa, ONZ, DBE, AC perform the Haka with the All Blacks - magic!

Anonymous said...

Dearest Mr. pilgrim,

You inquired after the possibility that SR was a 'wolf in sheep's clothing'?
Well, he's a wolf in my clothing - the cross-dressing cunt!
He like's to do so and then tell me he wants to 'wolf me'!
This is a euphemism known only to Canada's Inuit and assorted cunts like Omar who would sit through 172 minutes of "Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner".

BBC said...

I wonder why someone of her intelligence and huge vocabulary mucks around in our little insignificant blogs. You would think she would be the rich and famous author of best selling novels and not have the time, or care, to fuck around with us.

Fucking Leslie and her other personas just can’t say much of anything without mentioning me on others blogs, she could have complemented Harry for what she thinks is the correct spelling of teats without mentioning me, or going back in another post so she could do a copy/paste, sick bitch. Or as Doc Teri said, demented.

It looks to me like you are going to get another comment section shanghaied Billy P.

billy pilgrim said...

bill - ruby can't type for sour apples, it's up to me to put her thoughts on paper, or cyber space.

aquarians - thanks for straightening me out on SR. if only others were as forthcoming and well mannered as yourself the world would be a better place. stephen harper has to quit gloating over the prudence of canadian banks and start spreading the gospel of our civility and decorum.

Anonymous said...

Civility and decorum?
Canadians?
Ha!
You've not been to Pembroke, Ontario I gather.

Canadian Banks?
No thanks!

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

"......she(me) could have complemented Harry for what she thinks is the correct spelling of teats without mentioning me....."

Well glory to Mithras in the highest! BBC done spelt it right too!
This is going to be the bestest Xmas ever!

BBC said...

All high intelligence is not properly used, as she is showing us. I’ll have nothing more to contribute to this post.

Anonymous said...

Dearest BBC said,

"......I’ll have nothing more to contribute to this post......."

Query?

Is this a punishment?
If so, it is hardly fair to the others 'round here who appreciate, nay require, your witty banter.
I think you are being very selfish.
Shame!

Anonymous said...

I, for one, miss Leslie.

By the way, the lovely ALT-F is quite distraught thinking, as she is want to do on occasion, that she has frightened away poor Mr. BBC and therefore diminished the calibre of this, Ruby's most deliciously fine blog.

I shall beat her forthwith.

billy pilgrim said...

i miss bbc already. he has a big heart so i'm sure if we have any mechanical problems he'll be back to help.

Anonymous said...

BBC is over at Doc Teri's conversing with that wretched Hell-bird ALT-F, who, of course, some people think is really Leslie, only ALT-F is better looking and certainly smarter - especially in the Sciences!

Leslie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cathy D. said...

I bet Leslie has a bigger penis, too!

Anonymous said...

Dear oh dear

Cathy D. said...

Word. Are you out on parole, George? 3 years sure flew by quick.

Cathy D. said...

Right. I sure can clear a room.

You're welcome.

Anonymous said...

It was three and one half years and it did fly by quickly.
Thanks for asking.
I still can't use power tools though.

Anonymous said...

And it's Herbert, actually.

Dr. Herbert Spencer Ryerson UE BSc MBA MD(ret.)

That last name ought to ring a few bells for Canadians. And yes, I am related - though from the black sheep side of the family. Alas, NOT mentioned in the will.

Still jealous Omar?

Anonymous said...

Ooooops!
Wrong blogger account.
That was me above.

Damn you ALT-F!

Anonymous said...

Nyuck!
Now yer fucked SR!

Or is it me who is fucked?

I don't really know?

Cathy D. said...

You are completely falling apart.

Fidel Castro said...

My, my. This is an interesting turn of events fo shizzle.

Cathy D. said...

Remember that great song "She's Come Undone" ?

It's stuck in my head for some reason.

Anonymous said...

Cathy D said,

"......You are completely falling apart......."

I know!
Fuck!
You lot still suck at this though. If it were not for my un-forced errors y'all would be hopping about on bunionated feet as I pedicated your sorry arses.

Anonymous said...

It's just "Undone"
Ya ignoramus!

Cathy D. said...

That Ryerson name does ring a few bells, now that you mention it.

Anonymous said...

And it was a shite song!
That Burton Cummings gayer held back the heavy rock potential of Mr. Bachman until he was freed by BTO..


You get up every morning. From your 'larm clock's warning
Which is Alt-F's prosthetic penis.
There's a wailing up above......

Cathy D. said...

It's actually "Undun", if you want to be picky.

Hey, remember when you went to Leslie's old school in Bangkok and got thown out for trying to take upskirt shots? Good shit.

Anonymous said...

Fuck!
You're right!
Undun!
Still, I was closer!

The Tutor was thrown out 'cause he went in asking to see the class photographs for two years in the 90s to look for all the blondes named "Leslie".

The Security goons figured he was up to no good.
Rightly so.

Cathy D. said...

Dude, she's a strawberry blond. No wonder they were suspicious.

Anonymous said...

Strawberry blonde?
Ha!
Next you'll be telling me she doesn't have 42 inch hips either!

SR would not dump me for anything less than that and he dumped me for her - the filthy slagging cuntribbit!

Besides, the Farang chicks all look the same to Thai Security Workers.

Cathy D. said...

She's tiny. If you're a chubby chaser I can hook you up with my mom, just let me know.

Anonymous said...

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture

Though Leslie tried to warn me
But that butt she got makes me so horny.

texlahoma said...

I liked the rowdy roddy video best, less pretentious. Ever see "They Live"? Starring RRP.

BBC said...

Leslie and all of her fucking persona's in her closet seem to have petered out for the day, that is to be expected being as she’s a few time zones east of us and filled up on Thunderbird while drifting off to sleep dreaming of sucking on my cock, or Harry’s, preferably Harry’s being as I can’t stand the bitch and just want her to leave me alone.

It’s pretty clear that I don’t need to be here to feed her, she’s gotten damn good at feeding herself with all her fucking persona's.

Goodnight.

billy pilgrim said...

tex - i've seen all of hot rod's movies!

good morning bill.

Anonymous said...

The Tutor spent 2 1/2 hours last night - to midnight - shovelling snow 'cause I, the idiot, decided to get the car stuck in the middle of the driveway while attempting a physically impossible 'Inertial Plow Manoeuvre' into the open garage from the street.

If that ain't love I don't know what is.

harry said...

Harrys cocck would thank you to be kept out of consideration.

It prefers being left to it's own devices.




Anonymous said...

You mean like devices one might find photographed in Robert Mapplethorpe's infamous Portfolio X?.

Sold at Christie's in Sale 1560, Lot 105, for $45,600.

I always wondered who the successful bidder was.

Anonymous said...

It's "X Portfolio", you high-functioning imbecile and the successful bidder was not our beloved harry but the infamous Michael Stipe.
Yeah, the "Losing My Religion" guy snagged it.
It is the end of the world as we know it!
Stipe likes Mapplethorpe?
Ha!
Now everybody hurts indeed!

billy pilgrim said...

i just finished shoveling both mine and my neighbour's sidewalks. i wish i knew a crazy old man who could convert a hyundai into a snow plow.

Fidel Castro said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Would you dress him in lots of over-sized "Goodwill" garb and then strap his concave arse to the bumper?

Fidel Castro said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Smelly said,

".....SR is a name-dropping starfucker....."

I once told Vidal Sassonn's 'Handler' to fuck off 'cause he and his master did not have the proper tickets to enter the special R.O.M. Exhibit on "Baseball".
Is that what you mean?

Anonymous said...

My "strapping a guy to the bumper" was a retort to billy pilgrim's request to summon our Spirit guide by the way.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Ponderosa Pines, be they nice or not so nice....

It is important for you lot to understand that there really are ladies who steer the punt from the Cambridge end. The physical society of men is something in which I have never sought solace. I would endure it with BBC though, because as we all know, endurance is a speciality of my sex. The poetry of Sappho is the only music that shall, or could ever, touch my heart, though I have yet to play upon the ahhhhh...ermmmmm.... instrument myself.

BBC said...

I see the freak continues with her freak show here. Do you want an electric lift or a vacuum lift for the plow? Me thinks the freak can provide enough vacuum for you, it can collapse cocks while sucking on assholes. If the news reports a mans inside out cock hanging out of his asshole you’ll know she’s in town.

I enjoyed visiting with others on their blogs today where the traveling freak show doesn’t show up.

BBC said...

It’s the only way she can suck all of his manhood out of him.

Goodnight

Kelly said...

I like the Roddy Piper version better but I'd still like to pump my meaty member into that singin' gal in the video.

I'd be going to town on her. Yesiree!

Muh... muh...Merry Christmas! I just shit myself .

billy pilgrim said...

freak show??

ruby takes umbrage at the label of freak show.

kelly - yes, dame kiri is an ample sample of womanhood. at the moment i'm smitten with karen o, of the million dollar bashers.

BBC said...

Ruby should take umbrage at the label of freak show, if it was directed at the blog instead of at the freak.

If you think she is in your area it's best to bolt yourself to a stout chair so she can't get to your asshole.

Just saying....

BBC said...

The first major storm has hit the mid west, and there's lots of wrecks and a few deaths, like that's big fucking news, it's happened every winter of my 69 nine years.

I've driven through more of those storms than most people, sometimes up to a dozen a year when I was trucking. You have to be really careful around those idiots.

Now I'm just happy to hide in my warm cave and drink some beer.

billy pilgrim said...

we had a good snowfall followed by almost torrential rain. i was too cheap to pay for parking at the hospital and walked about a kilometer in the slush. i was soaked from the the knees down when i arrived. so it went.

BBC said...

Pretty damn decent here today, some rain early is all, I started moving my new heavy cabinet but quit when it tipped over and smacked into Helen's home kind of hard.

But there will be a short post about it on my blog in the morning.

BBC said...

I was putting some things off hoping I wouldn't have to do them, fucking Mayan's.

Anonymous said...

The Mayans are fine BBC.
It is the Mayanistas who are idiots.

End Days on Dec. 21 is based on the use of the flawed -283 GMT correlation. The -285 is more accurate, therefore Dec. 23. The latest scholarship though points to a -286 - therefore Dec. 24.

There is still hope Helen discovers the damage you did to her home before the world ends and scolds you.

BBC said...

You appear to enjoy looking like a babbling fool.

BBC said...

Helen can care less that I put a dent in one of her 70 plus year old house shingles. She just asked me to put more firewood and kindling in her house before moving it the rest of the way in case I hurt or kill myself while trying.

That no bullshit woman knows what her priorities are.

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

".....Helen can care less that I put a dent in one of her 70 plus year old house shingles......"

Even when the rain or termites and insects get into her living space and cause further damage?
She sure is a Saint!

Anonymous said...

BBC also opined,

"......You(Me?) appear to enjoy looking like a babbling fool......"

I'm the fool's fool I am.

BBC said...

Yes, Helen is a saint, and you're a pain in the ass.

The rest of you, raise your hands if you think Helen and my cabinet aren't any of her fucking business.

billy pilgrim said...

wow, those must be pretty good shingles to last 70 years. i'm assuming those are earth years.

BBC said...

They are just old growth cedar shingles. They last a long time on walls when painted, about 50 years on a well done roof.

BBC said...

She's ninety years old, she doesn't give a damn if that home doesn't last any longer than she will. If I wasn't her neighbor she'd likely have to move out of it into a care center anyway.

Anonymous said...

BBC exuded,

"........Yes, Helen is a saint, and you're a pain in the ass......"

So you suffer from Endocolonalgia (EC)?
Have you tried unguents or salves for that?
Or, perhaps, had you not already been suffering from Endocephalocolonopathy (ECC), your nascent Endocolonalgia (EC) might not have manifested to the extent it has?

BBC said...

Now what in the fuck is she babbling about?

Anonymous said...

billy pilgrim said,

".....wow, those must be pretty good shingles to last 70 years. i'm assuming those are earth years......"

They are actually cedar shakes, not shingles. And they are not 'old growth'. BBC knows nothing about cedar roofing or siding - he's an ignoramus.

Anonymous said...

".....Now what in the fuck is she babbling about?....."

You mean you don't know?
Jeez BBC, how do you get through a day?
Does Helen tie your shoe laces for you?

BBC said...

No, you're a fucking idiot, and shakes and shingles are interchangeable words and no one else gives a fuck which one I use.

We still have old growth cedars around here, idiot, just can't use them these days unless they die or get torn down by storms.

billy pilgrim said...

i drink chocolate shakes but i go to doctor for shingles.

Anonymous said...

"....and shakes and shingles are interchangeable words....."

No they are not.
Not to a Roofer or someone in the Building Trades anyway. I reckon they are interchangeable for stupid people.
Are you a stupid person?
Would you like to know the difference between a 'shingle' and a 'shake'?
Are you man enough to take it? This knowledge can be a terrible burden to bear for the weak in Spirit you know.

Anonymous said...

billy pilgrim has been treated for Shingles?
Oh My God!

You have to stay away from those sheep billy, no matter how attractive they seem!
It is for your own good.
In 2013, Health Canada will no longer cover Shingles treatments!

BBC said...

Shut the fuck up, cunt...

Billy P, I've heard of that kind of shingles but have never experienced them myself.

Anonymous said...

BBC does not know the difference between a shake and a shingle!

He is stupid!

There is no doubt about it now.

BBC said...

No one cares what you think, so shut up, cunt.

Anonymous said...

BBC does not know the difference between a shake and a shingle AND is not man enough to deal with it!

Anonymous said...

He probably does not know the difference between a Bush Cord and a Full Cord either!

What a city boy!

billy pilgrim said...

i've taken my dear old dad to the doctor for shingles and there's a good chance i'll get them before i die since i've had chicken pox.

bill - i find that both you and the aquarian make some excellent points in your discussions. i think team cunt should hold special meeting and put your possible membership in the group to a vote.

Anonymous said...

I don't even want to discuss a Face or Rick Cord with the poor dolt!
Sheesh!
BBC?
Do you get a Mental Disability cheque from your Government each month? You deserve it. I'll gladly sign any forms for you to attest to your mental infirmity. I'm a Doctor, remember?

BBC said...

I'm not becoming a member of any group that idiot is in.

BBC said...

Yeah, she's a doctor, one of those asshole doctors, with strange methods, she inspects your ass with her tongue. Then she sucks the shit out of you so she can get to your cock and turn it inside out through your asshole.

Anonymous said...

billy pilgrim said,

".....i think team cunt should hold special meeting and put your possible membership in the group to a vote....."

Team Cunt is not democratically administered, alas!
BBC could purchase membership though, SR would do anything for 50 bucks!

Anonymous said...

Shake and shingle?
Bush and Full?

Tell us BBC!
Tell us!

Anonymous said...

BBC said, I think,

"....so Helen can get to your cock and turn it inside out through your asshole....."

That is a terrible thing to say about Helen!
Shame on you!

Shingles?
Shakes?

Leslie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Tell us the difference between a Full cord and A 70's Bush cord them Leslie?

BBC doesn't know shit about these either!

Leslie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Leslie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Asbestos siding?
Shit!
My Tutor made a shite load of money ripping that crap off houses in the 90s.
He coughs a lot now mind!

Anonymous said...

A Face cord is a Marketing tool use to rip off City slickers. Insist on a full or Bush cord. These are statutorily defined.

Anonymous said...

I see our learned friend BBC has run off with his tail between his legs because he does not know the difference between a shake and a shingle and he is embarrassed!

billy pilgrim?

Why ruin my fun with the demon-hound Leslie just because she irks you?

Let me apologise on Leslie's behalf. After all, it is mostly SR's fault she is the way she is.

She's a good girl, loves her mama.
Loves Jesus and America too.
She's a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis.
Loves horses and her boyfriend too.

It's a long day livin' in Reseda.
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard.
And I'm a bad boy, 'cause I don't even miss her.
I'm a bad boy for breakin' her heart.

The Apology!

"I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future

billy pilgrim said...

the person to whom you refer and whose name i shall never utter nor type has been permanently classified as persona non grata.

case closed.

Anonymous said...

billy pilgrim said,

"......the person to whom you refer and whose name i shall never utter nor type has been permanently classified as persona non grata......"

Except for the 'capitals' bit, that has to be the most literate excrescence of the Queen's English I've seen here'bouts in a donkey's age.

Nu?
No Leslie.
No Omar.
BBC fucks off to pout when he is shamed and caught out being stupid.

What's a girl like me to do 'round here now?
I need to make light of people who truly deserve it - it is as necessary as the air that I breathe or the water I drink.
I shall slowly expire.

Woe is me.

Anonymous said...

"Except for the 'capitals' bit, that has to be the most literate excrescence of the Queen's English I've seen here'bouts in a donkey's age."

That was a compliment, by the way.

Anonymous said...

It has been snowing for 36 hours - non-stop. The temperature is 0 C (That's 32 F, Leslie - the freezing point of water at Standard Pressure)and I doubt I'll make it into the garage tonight.
I'm cranky and I don't have BBC or Leslie to abuse.

I hate you pilgrim!

billy pilgrim said...

i believe our knight errant is off repairing a roof and his return hinges upon how much peppermint schnapps the lovely lady helen has in stock.

as for the repulsive lady in waiting, you're barking up the wrong tree.

BBC said...

I didn’t have time to stick around all day to see what a shit sucking/eating bitch freak had to say next. I have a fucking life, I had a cabinet to move, firewood to get in, and friends to visit.

Besides, picturing her at her favorite hobby, sucking shit out of a mans asshole and eating it like some mythical demon before she turns his cock inside out so she can suck on it through his asshole makes me kind of sick to my tummy, know what I mean?

Helen doesn't drink or stock schnapps but over the years I have taught her how to say cocksucker, motherfucker, asshole, and a few other choice words.
Goodnight

Mr. Shife said...

It was a tough call for my vote. I really wanted to vote for Roddy, but Fuck me won me over. Hope you have a great weekend BP, and Merry Christmas to you too.

Anonymous said...

BBC eloquently chimed,

".......Besides, picturing her at her favorite(sic) hobby, sucking shit out of a mans(sic) asshole and eating it like some mythical demon before she turns his cock inside out so she can suck on it through his asshole makes me kind of sick to my tummy, know what I mean?....."

I'm not mythical!

For your tummy troubles, may I recommend a comforting bowl of Monkeyville "Spirit" brand egesta?

BBC said...

Don’t pay any attention to her, she’s a relic of the bronze age.

Did you know that it’s illegal to go out in public in Thailand without wearing underwear?

Anonymous said...

Do we know the difference between a shake and a shingle yet BBC?

Or are we still wallowing in the bliss of abject ignorance?

Anonymous said...

Shake and shingle little man

Shake and shingle

Anonymous said...

Hey BBC, get on the floor, let's dance!
Don't fight the feelin', give yourself a chance!

Shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your shingle! Shake your shingle!
Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake,
Shake your shingle! Shake your shingle.

BBC said...

A shake or a shingle cannot be construed as underwear.

SOME INTERESTING HISTORY.

BBC said...

Boy, about 53 inches of snow have fallen on Steven's Pass since Sunday. And a tree fell on a SUV and killed two people. Wonder how many people will die this christmas season trying to get places they really don't need to be. Christmas, if you are going to do it, should be done in July here.

Anonymous said...

JAYSUS!

That was funny BBC!
Maybe you're not so stupid after all?

My motto:

"Semper Ubi Sub Ubi"

"Always Where Under Where"

PS I do not 'click' on other people's links - might be a virus or something.

Anonymous said...

You don't need to be anywhere this christmas, right BBC?
Are you actually wanted anywhere this christmas?

BBC said...

TIS DA SEASON TO GIT STUPID.

Shake: Building material used as siding or roofing.
Shingle: Building material used as siding or roofing.

Look it up, moron. Don’t shake the dried up and cracked shingles on your chest, they may fall off. Not that it would matter, no one is interested in them anymore.

BBC said...

I'm wanted right here and it's a good place to be.

Anonymous said...

"......Shake: Building material used as siding or roofing.
Shingle: Building material used as siding or roofing......"

Yes.

BUT......

What is the difference between the two?

BBC said...

Billy P, the other day I got 80 cents a gallon off when I filled my tank, it's nice that Safeway gives us gas discounts for buying stuff we have to buy anyway.

billy pilgrim said...

mr shife - top of the season to you and the little shifes and thank for your support this past year.

bill - teaching helen to say cocksucker and motherfucker. that would make you swearengen and helen would be your wu. that's a mighty high standard for you to maintain.

aquarian - would the difference between the shakes and shingles have something to do with the composition? it's my goal to have a slate tile roof one day.

BBC said...

A slate tile roof is heavy unless you get composite tiles that look like slate. My preference is metal with a lifespan of fifty years.

Well, if I was younger, don't need a roof to last that long anymore.

Anonymous said...

billy pilgrim

Slate will last hundreds of years.
Arrange for steep slope to your roof and strong walls to 'buttress' the weight load.

Cedar Shake is 'hand-hewn'(axe)

Cedar shingle is 'machine-cut(saw)

BBC,
You often do not know about which you are talking. I pity the fool who might take your advice on stuff.

BBC said...

Lady, I've never given a fuck about the difference, the end result is the same, something being protected from the weather.

And I don't give a fuck if you don't like my advice either, it's not directed at you.

Anonymous said...

I worry for the people to whom your advice is directed.

If they trust you to be correct, and then find out you were wrong, who has to pay the price?
You?
or
Them?

You lie to people, and that is not nice.

BBC said...

She's just making shit up, these days all shakes and shingles are machine cut, go into a hardware store and ask for either, and you'll be directed to the same pile.

But some third world countries and back to the land folks may still hand split them. I know an old dude that made his own.

Anonymous said...

And you didn't know the difference between a shake and a shingle.


You are stupid!



And a purveyor of untruths!

Anonymous said...

Hand-hewn shakes can be purchased at PROFESSIONAL building materials outlets.

BBC gets his building materials from 7-11 I guess.

BBC said...

Well go buy some, I don't give a fuck.

Anonymous said...

BBC should not give advice to people - he is stupid and does not know enough stuff.
Always ask a professional. BBC knows nothin'!

billy pilgrim said...

i'm going to save my old tires and find someone to convert them into long lasting shingles. the anticipated 25% remaining tread should make for excellent protection from the weather.

BBC said...

Nor do I give a fuck if anyone follows my advice.

Anonymous said...

Shakes are hand hewn
Shingles are machine cut

It is a simple fact BBC.
Trie to learn it

Okay?

BBC said...

We used to make sandals with old tires, and door mats. But it's not possible to do that with steel belted tires.

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

".....Nor do I give a fuck if anyone follows my advice......"

What about Helen?
She might trust you.
You'd screw the only person in the world who can tolerate you?

You are a nasty man BBC

BBC said...

Once again, I don't give a fuck how they are made, but machine tapper cut installs better.

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

".....But it's not possible to do that with steel belted tires......"

Yes you can!

You're just to stupid to figure out how to do it!

BBC said...

There's plenty of people here that trust me, idiot.

BBC said...

If you want to cut up steel belted tires go ahead and buy the expensive blades you will need, I don't give a fuck.

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

".....but machine tapper cut installs better......"

If you are stupid and don't know what you're doing, like you BBC, I guess this is true.
People with skill, unlike you BBC, can lay a shake roof that is a thing of beauty.

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

".....There's plenty of people here that trust me, idiot......"

No they don't.
They make fun of you and you're too stupid to see it!
And no one certainly trusts you when it comes to your English skills

billy pilgrim said...

the western canadian economy has long been described as being based on hewers of wood and drawers of water so i do have a wee bit of knowledge on this subject.

on the other hand mr cook may never give and inch and occasionally does have a great notion of logging and the associated products so his knowledge on the subject is probably better than average.

BBC said...

Maybe you should get shaked, maybe you could be a thing of beauty again.

Anonymous said...

We All make fun of you BBC!

Leslie is the only one who was honest enough to do so in a way that you could understand.
SHE was your only true friend here!

Anonymous said...

WE ALL MAKE FUN OF YOU BBC.


ALL OF US!!!!!

BBC said...

They're stupid here, they ship logs to China instead of running the logs through mills to make finished products. No point in employing people in mills.

BBC said...

With friends like Leslie I damn sure didn't need any enemies.

BBC said...

The chinese ships that doc here are not all that big but they sure can swallow up an amazing amount of logs.

Anonymous said...

billy pilgrim said,

"......other hand mr cook may never give and inch and occasionally does have a great notion of logging and the associated products so his knowledge on the subject is probably better than average......"

I understand your reasons for this, however, in future, when BBC purports to spew 'knowledge' about son shit or other, take the time to copy and paste his sentence into Google and search it. You'll discover from where it came - he copied and pasted it himself!
His WHOLE BLOG is a 'CopyPasta' Special even!

As far as the 'not giving an attoParsec'(an inch), it is because he is actually too stupid to know he is stupid. He thinks he knows shit! This is dangerous to anyone who trusts him to be knowledgeable.

BBC said...

There's no one around here complaining about the advice I've given them, but that's not what I came here to say.

Ever been up close and personal with a 747 configured to be a freighter? I was really impressed with how much you can get in one of those babies.

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

".....There's no one around here complaining about the advice I've given them....."

You give stupid advice 'cause you're stupid.
We ignore it 'cause we're smarter than you.
Luckily, most of us are polite and don't tell you we think you to be the fool.
Like a Court Jester, you entertain us and we let you think you are part of the wank-circle.


Merry Christmas!!

BBC said...

I don't do christmas.

Anonymous said...

I suspect you don't do christmas because you cannot find anyone with whom to do it, right?

BBC said...

I do not want to find anyone to do it with, idiot. If I should by chance hook up with a woman she won't be the type that does christmas either.

I'm going into Monkeyville for a couple cheap plastic chinese tarps to put on the ends of the shelter the new cabinet is in.

Carry on....

Anonymous said...

Will you be doing the Free Church dinner, you cheap, selfish, stupid and smelly cunt?

BBC said...

They're not having one this year so now I'm going to the bar for bullshit with others and cry in my beer that I'll have to pay for a fucking meal.

Anonymous said...

You pay for food?
The Tutor supplies mine for free!

Perhaps The Tutor might do that for you too?
Give us your Postal Address and The Tutor will send you a Contract Form.

BBC said...

For about 45 bucks Safeway will roast me a turkey and provide all the goodies for a feast that will feed Helen and I for about a week, guess I'll go with that.

Anonymous said...

I saw the Lawn Mower Shelter you built - on your SPIRITS PROJECTS blog

What a total piece of crap!
The Tutor could have built something better out of LEGO when he was 10 years old for fuck's sake.

BBC said...

If the tutor hasn't got my fucking address (and phone number) by now it's because the tutor is a fucking idiot, I've posted it enough times.

BBC said...

I'm pleased the fucking idiot doesn't like my shelter, and I gotta get out of here, it's bar time.

Anonymous said...

The Tutor likes it, The Tutor just thinks it must have been designed and built by someone who is possibly retarded.
The Tutor is all for helping the unfortunate!

Anonymous said...

A BAR at 2 in the afternoon?

Are you a drunk BBC?

Anonymous said...

The Tutor would like to know if you are the beneficiary of Helen's worldly possessions?(When she dies/you kill her) Mainly her neighbouring property? The Tutor would also like to know if you help her bathe.

BBC said...

I don't buy beer to stay sober, ya stupid shit. And you have followed my blog long enough to know that Helen's property is going to Friends of Animals. As for her other worldly possessions she hasn't got any, doesn't care about that shit.

I would however love to have her old wood burning kitchen stove, but think I can cut a deal with the new owners for it being as they'll have her house torn down to make the property sellable.

Of course I've helped her bathe, it's not pretty.

billy pilgrim said...

has your tutor ever appeared on jeopardy?

if his skills on the buzzer matched his knowledge he could most likely give ken jennings a run for his money or dare i suggest he might be the equal to watson?

BBC said...

Helen would do great on jeopardy, if she could get her crickity old hand to the buzzer fast enough. She has more useless information in her head than anyone needs to have.

I don't even recall what band is playing at the Eagles tonight, but on the other hand I don't give a fuck.

BBC said...

The tutor appears to have passed out, understandable being as the tutor is a couple of time zones ahead of us.

Good night.

BBC said...

It's a fine fucking Sunday, if you don't live in a war zone.

I WONDER WHERE SHE IS.

BBC said...

LET'S FIGHT OVER SOME STUPID SHIT.

Anonymous said...

BBC, dahling,

I have never seen your blog. You're a Yankee and if I should 'click' on your attractive portrait I am sure to catch obesity.
Your faithful readers send me 'copy-pastes' of your enlightened plagiarism by email for my comments. I think they might be writing an eBook about you.

The Tutor would like to know if any of your ex-wives call you during the Holidays, you know, to wish you Happy Spirit? The Tutor would also like to know why you were not informed when the mother of your children died. Why wouldn't your children have told you: "Mom died"?

Do all the people you have ever met eventually learn to hate you? Is this because you only meet 'idiots' and 'haters' or is there something wrong with you?

Anonymous said...

Shake and Shingle Moron!

Anonymous said...

billy pilgrim said,

"......has your tutor ever appeared on jeopardy?....."

The Tutor is banned from the USA. The Jeopardy studios are located there. He has, however, appeared on "America's Most Wanted" though. With Leslie - a "Bonnie and Clyde" kinda thing!

Anonymous said...

Apparently, it is now legal in Ontario to kick a person who inexplicably stops, without warning, when walking ahead of you on a side walk because they are 'texting'.

It is a very pleasurable experience I must say!