a few days ago i took a sweet old lady to the geriatric center for an assessment, both physical and cognitive. it was an interesting if not depressing experience. i won't moan and groan about the challenges i'll be facing in the next few years but instead i'll tell you what cheered me up.
in keeping with my new found love of cbc internet radio i heard a song a few minutes after arriving home that really picked up my spirits. rather than worry about the future and the shit storm coming, let's enjoy the moment!
if that's not enough to bring a smile to your face, remember the golden rule:
"Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you’ve got to be kind."
i love you sons of bitches.
142 comments:
Nice song and I'm glad it helped you look on the bright side. You can always avoid the cold of winter by going south until you reach the Caribbean.
Are you familiar with this fine resident of Salt Spring Island?
He does uplifting folkie stuff too...
...but I like the darker, Eastern Indian-bluesy stuff because I am dark and tragically fucked up.
gb - i have several friends that spend the winter down south. maybe one day i'll join them.
leslie - i really enjoyed the slide guitar showdown. too bad i haven't got around to hooking the computer up to the big sound system. but the monsoons did it justice.
Look who grew a pair! Where were you last thread, Big Mouth?
Isn’t it nice without the demented bitch being able to comment here? She can fuck up others comment sections with her brain fucks, but not this one. She forced Pipe to go to moderation but she doesn’t give a shit, she enjoys doing things like that, the fucking piece of shit. And she won’t get better, I’ve watched her get worse over the years.
And you need to get your "demented ones" straight -that was ALTF, not me. But you're right about the not giving a shit part.
bill - with the spirit of jesus in my heart and with the power bestowed upon me, i hereby reinstate you to king status. and to cleanse my soul i offer my humble apology for calling you a snitch.
leslie - i really, really like harry manx.
"into this world we're thrown"
Well I'm a wee bit sorry to report that I now have only two jangles in my dangles, like normal mortals. But my pants fit better now.
BBC you will be pleased to know that I can no longer produce anymore planet destroying monkeys.
tex - yeah, but ruby has a bone.
thims - this is the problem we face. the wrong people are getting sterilized. it's the crack whores and 2nd generation welfare cases that need to be snipped or spayed.
i hope the missus is giving you 6 months of unlimited testing and quality control.
Ah the cracker whores who casually cavort without condoms, diaphragms, dental dams, nor spermicidal jams.
They're everywhere, I tell ya! And apparently they're mostly Asian and Hispanic and not actually using crack. But they're randy as fuck.
there must be something that can be added to the water supply that would be harmless until combined with crack or opiates then poof, gonads gone.
You should change yours! This one looks like your work ID photo from the late 1970's! I can change mine everyday if you like, just let me know. I picked this one cuz I look so bratty, just fyi.
Also? I'm not ALTF, you stupid asshole. You are the only person who thinks that!
Harry Manx is awesome and he drives a BMW, so there, BBC!
i think we should concentrate on thims getting his nuts snipped.
with bank deposits facing taxation thims is looking pretty smart putting his money into mercury dimes.
and king, altf is a canadian. leslie is an american.
i think that should clear things up.
Not just snipped... I got two operations for the price of one! They also aspirated a benign cyst that had grown as large as a third nut. Two left nuts and one right nut; much like my politics.
So now I'm two thirds the man I used to be, but much more comfortable in jeans.
I kept the third nut as a souvenir, or perhaps as a reward for the one that can evoke the most memorable laugh at the summit!
BBC, did you just call me vile? Really? I don't have any wrinkles yet. My face never sees the sun. Though my time will come, you will be long dead.
Party at Big Hole Guestlist:
Pipe-smoking dead Pole
Crabby old turd
Doc Teri
Thimscool + 1 cyst
FOR THE LAST TIME YOU MORON:
Thimscool, ALTF, Omar (RIP) and myself all "met" on the same blog, around 2006, before you were ever in the picture. You are an ASSHOLE. I brought you notoriety and ratings, so you better show me some damn respect! You are NOTHING without me and you know it and that's why you come into a new comment thread and start shit! Shit for hits!
I'm polygonadal. Thank God I'm not a uniball, or worse...
This has been quite a year so far, including having an Irishman stick a big needle in my nuts right before St. Patrick's Day... fucking leprechauns!
did omar die?
bill - being a king calls for a little decorum.
Pilgrim, I can't fathom the wherefore but no one seem inclined to concentrate on my having endured being stabbed in my jangles with a giant needle.
That's a tough one but Imma hafta agree wit you der.
I did manage to sound the alarm and apparently I cleared out the entire NE waiting room.
My daddy always said I'd never suffer alone.
Ommi isn't dead. He's reformulating his ideology.
i think omar is busy working on trudeau's campaign.
Leprechauns are not fiction, you evil, toothless bastard!
And NO DEAL! I gain nothing from your proposal except the opportunity to be stripped of my greatest blog joy! You need to put a more substantial offer on the table. Sorry. A gift certificate to a nice spa, perhaps, but you better make it a weekender!
Thimscool, I commend you for having your best friend altered rather than making your wife do the more-invasive female alternative.
What a pity ALTF can't be here to comment this week, due to a little mess she got herself into. I know she'd have plenty to say about your nuts being kabob'd.
BBC~
1) I have tits. Plenty of them!
2) Time has not run out on me having kids and though I would rather die, I might rethink that just to spite you.
3) Fuck off!
And you poop in your yard! Never forget that. You are a yard pooper!
What's wrong, hon? No two dollar hookers come through town lately? Looks like you might have to pony up for a new plastic girlfriend!
Fuck off, Sajid!
Yeah, FUCKOFF, you stinking bastard; stop following thimscool around!
You're a prince anong men thimscool, hope you're feeling your old self.
Er, wait....
I see Frump's mood has really brightened since he started moderating comments.
using the king's logic, sajid is one of frump's sock puppets.
Boy that Elvis Costello sure can bring down the house!
But somebody needs to shoot that piana player.
Sock fwappers.
May be the old boy got himself pussywhipped once upon a time and never got over it.
Real fine high grade triple nought Pussy can do that to a man.
Or so I've heard.
Toss it in a sock and forget it professor.
who the fuck is pipe? frump?
frump would be lucky to have someone like leslie to kick his ass and tell him to quit feeling sorry for himself.
what does anyone know about frump other than he likes impersonating dead pollacks and thinking that people give a shit about how often he has intercourse?
well king, you've been kissing his ass for months if not years so leslie might not want to go near it.
BBC, always keepin' it classy.
Frump is bananas. A sadsack bunch of woe is me narcissistic bananas. He needs to put on his big boy pants and knock it the fuck off. Seriously, who blogs that shit and expects NOT to be made fun of?? Maybe he needs to get out of the Frump Zone and spend a few days In Syria or Haiti and get a reality check.
I'm a huge fan of coping. I'm not a fan of whining. Regardless, BBC, you still have no teeth.
BBC likes kissing scholarly butt. Makes him feel smarter.
you like the persona someone has created.
be careful king, you're honest and trusting, frump is not.
Frump is wondering if he should man up at work, or just get more sympathy sex?
I mean really, how good can the sympathy sex be? I don't care if the missus is a fine, high grade, triple testicle draining, thunder fucker... she won't go all out for sympathy sex.
Am I the only one who remembers when BBC was horribly rude to Frump on a regular basis? And Frump used to apologize for whatever he did that could've possibly been interpreted as annoying by BBC? Now they are freaky little bff co-dependents and BBC can feel superior. Kind of like me and ALTF, sans penis.
I don't think I have access to the information that all of you have about the professor.
I still maintain that he is one of a legion of AI personalities that Google is using to create a working cognitive model and the ultimate concierge service.
Have you ever seen the man in person, BBC?
king, i tossed you a compliment, reinstated you as king and even apologized.
a little gratitude would be nice.
Lick the rose garden? Wtf?? LOL @ "lets him".
HAHAHAAHAHAhahahahahaha!
Somebody please tell me what the rose garden is. Please?
It's strange to feel uncomfortable here...
Frump will never show at Big Hole. Never. It's going to be BBC and Thimscool and Thimscool's uniball cyst in a peanut butter jar and BBC will take it and turn it into some sort of LED fixture/moonshine machine.
Doc Teri won't show.
You should go back to your original plan of meeting Thimcool in NC and I will drive thru there a the same time and we can meet up at Trader Joe's and I can hit you in the head with a can of gluten free lentil soup. Sound good?
Harry, what's a rose garden?? Is BBC reading Barbara Cartland novels again?
Thimscool said:
".........I still maintain that he is one of a legion of AI personalities that Google is using to create a working cognitive model and the ultimate concierge service....."
Indeed, there is SOMETHING very strange about the way "he" uses the English language.
Not that THAT means jackshitte to this crew.
" rose garden" ? Beats the fuck outta me.
And to be clear, he didn't get those Barbara Cartland novels from me!
Or maybe got that from reading the Frumpsters armature porn stories?
Oy
roses are red, violets are blue, i'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Yer full of it, BBC. You would definitely go a block to meet me! Maybe even 2 blocks? Think of the blog material! Of course you'd have to finally eat shit and acknowledge that I am a real live vile ginger-haired fucking bitch woman with tits who just might make a pimple on Helen's ass or at least a cyst on Thimscool's uniball, but it would so be worth it.
If there is more Frumpornography I missed, please link.
Hey Uniball, I'm putting something in your Facebook sinkhole momentarily. As soon as I remember my sign-in.
OMG you thick jerk, I left a link 2 or so weeks ago of a picture of me in my fucking car with a goddamn blogger person!. My Prius! The car you hate! Pay attention or shut up already!
Like the song, BP, and the Golden Rule even better. Sometimes it is nice to get a reminder to live in the now and enjoy those moments. Thanks for the mental note as I need to remember this more often.
Best back to back comments ever!
<3 <3 <3
best back to back comments?
you'll never top the "i don't give a shit" comment on my bbc tribute.
i just read frump's tale of woe from yesterday. he should have taken up my offer from the rosewater foundation.
the special introductory offer has expired as well as the amnesty for trophy hunters.
Leslie said...
"....OMG you thick jerk, I left a link 2 or so weeks ago of a picture of me in my fucking car with a goddamn blogger person!. My Prius! The car you hate! Pay attention or shut up already!
March 19, 2013 at 5:16 PM
I saw that picture; MARVELOUS.
harry - i missed the picture but got something better from leslie, bread and buddha!
An exchange I had with my 16-year-old son two days ago:
Him: Mom, did you download that David Guetta album to iTunes?
Me: Yep.
Him: But....you're 50.
Me: What's your point?
Him: Do you actually LIKE that stuff?
Me: Uh...yeah. That would be why I downloaded it.
Him: But...there's like, rap on it. And they say "Fuck" a lot.
Me: Your point?
Him: You're 50.
Me: Your point?
Him: silence...
I'm not getting old.
Love the song, Pilgrim. Thanks.
Correction:
I'm getting old...
...but I'm not old yet...
kids!
can't live with them, can't live without them.
"......a few days ago i took a sweet old lady to the geriatric center(sic) for an assessment, both physical and cognitive. it was an interesting if not depressing experience. i won't moan and groan about the challenges i'll be facing in the next few years but instead i'll tell you what cheered me up......"
This physical and cognitive assessment, was it for her or you.
Your prose is inconclusive in this matter.
Why has BBC deleted all his comments here.
i hadn't noticed the king deleted his comments!
i guess frump ordered him to keep away from sites speaking the truth.
or maybe i've been hacked by a sock puppet.
thimscool opinionated,
"......I don't care if the missus is a fine, high grade, triple testicle draining, thunder fucker... she won't go all out for sympathy sex........"
Obviously, you've never engaged in sympathy sex - from the perspective of the sympathiser that is.
Leslie exclaimed,
1) I have tits. Plenty of them!1
How many, exactly.
Growing old is not for the young...I mean the faint of heart!
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
Sheesh Omar, that's rather witty.
I, for one, miss you terribly.
omar - it looks like i have an opening for the king position since old bbc is off pouting and licking his wounds.
interested?
I could respond to the childish and foolish thinking here but will simply respond with the truth.
I rose above it all.
*poof*
bbc - perhaps the child is the one who leaves obscene and loathsome comments on other people's blogs but then closes his own comments if anyone responds in kind.
perhaps the child is the one who cannot sort fact from fiction.
i hope you and frump have fun in your sandbox.
Pilgrim?
I think it is time you too adopt the ego-boosting power of "Comment Moderation".
I grow weary of seeing my name and vile thoughts exposed to all in these few remaining fucking free-speech-loving comment facilities.
in order to moderate comments i'd have to be wiser and more mature than those leaving comments.
i'd also have to give a shit.
I wonder if Sister Leslie has had an offer of a bigger, thicker, harder penis yet today ?
Just want to get my offer in before any possible moderating monkeyshines.
And by in I mean s l o w l y; to the hilt !
I miss Omar.
I miss Leslie.
I miss the venomous swish of her second-hand frocks and that curiously melodious twang of her,"chub rub", thigh swooshing.
King? Nah, I'm good. But given the ongoing Rob Ford mayoralty fiasco I am pondering a move back to Upper Canada and running for Lord of Her Majesty's Most Honourable Privy Council for the City of Moronto.
*poof*
Moronto?
I'll have to tell The Tutor about that portmanteau. He likes that kind of puerile shite - him bein' a Morontonian and all.
Dearest Omar, vos magnus cunnus,
I do not recommend any lengthy sojourn to the capital of the more elevated of the Two Canadas. Chimeric herring-choking Bluenosers like yourself are shot-on-sight in The Centre of the Universe doncha know?
Perhaps Pembroke, Ontario would be more accommodating? This shithole is whelmed by such immigrational misfortune.
moronto!
the moronto maple laffs, has a nice ring to it.
The Tutor tells me that the one and only time he went to Maple Leaf Gardens to see an NHL game it was May 2, 1967.
Yes, the fucker is that old!
And nothing of importance will happen for Moronto until he returns to see them play again he says.
did john candy ever get that lawyerin' or doctorin' job on yonge st.?
Who?
What?
Didn't he get "blowed up real good" or something similar?
The fat, ugly fuck.
Listen, Toronto can be forgiven a lot of things, but electing that complete and utter buffoon is not one of them. Hell, I've never even been particularly against the Big Hog or Smoke-town or whatever it is they call the place, but Rob Ford was a game changer. To put it mildly.
Moronto. Bigus Timeus.
Oh, and by the way, I am not a Bluenoser. Having moved here 1980-ish from the dreaded and despised Ottawa, most (if not all) Maritimers consider me still a 'come-from-away'. My only saving grace is a mother with long maternal bloodlines originating in the Chester/Mahone Bay area. And even THAT can garner raised brows, rolled eyes and sighs of indignation. Depending where yer at.
i was going to delete the john candy insult but i'll let it stand so the world will know what a classless tart you are.
electing ford was a protest vote. re-electing him would be the unforgivable sin.
our beloved christie clark will soon get her head to handed to her on a german silver platter.
The Tutor tells me Rob Ford is a fat fuck and barely able to articulate crude grunts.
He will succumb to obesicide soon enough.
Mel Lastman was the mayor when The Tutor was frog-marched out of The Centre of the Universe - he was worse The Tutor says.
Your mother's long, and indeed cyanotic, bloodlines are Bluenoser, at least in a mitochondrial fashion that is.
Let's face it Omar, possessing proof that your parents are not siblings can garner raised brows, rolled eyes and sighs of indignation amongst the autochthons in Nova Scotia.
Ottawa is not too bad now, compared to Pembroke at least.
Pilgrim?
I am a classless tart, this is true, but John Candy is a fat ugly fuck who would try to rise above his station. His end was fore-ordained I'm afraid.
".....cyanotic bloodlines -> Bluenoser......"?
Fuck me!
That's clever.
Even funny maybe.
"......mitochondrial fashion......"?
Clever, but not actually funny, sorry.
When the fair Leslie finishes packing bedding, or clothing, or fudge, or whatever she's packing, she'll be here I hope.
I am shipping new pillows to New Orleans, ok?!
Have you forgotten that hurricane-complainy fucker from Jonestown touched my bedding?
I will not have a car this trip. OCD'ers like myself plan ahead!
PS:
OMAR!!!!!
<3
Leslie sighed,
"......Have you forgotten that hurricane-complainy fucker from Jonestown touched my bedding......"
That's not all the poor thrall touched. Or so he writes on his blog.
Or 'her' blog - hard to tell.
She/it/he posts pictures of a famous Polish transvestite to represent her/its/his likeness
You can't get to me. I am too happy to be leaving the Northeast! I've packed all my dainty frocks and sparkly shoes!
Leslie minced,
".....I've packed all my dainty frocks and sparkly shoes!....."
What about the clothing you can actually wear without garnering raised brows, rolled eyes and sighs of indignation amongst the autochthons in NOLA?
There is no such behavior in New Orleans.
Guess who liked my resume? That's right, Mickey Loomis! Even BBC couldn't wreck my mood this evening.
Mickey Loomis?
So what!
The owner of the Jumbo Bar in Korat just adored mine AND I got to eat free at the VFW Post 10217 'round the corner.
You are JEALZ! Ima get paid for being a stalker and you have to do it for free!
Look how Satanic he is! I got this!
Wait a sec.
Creepy!
My dad worked in Korat for years!
Time frame?????
"......Even BBC couldn't wreck my mood this evening......."
How could that dullard wreck anybody's mood?
If anything, I should think his 'dancing' for our amusement could only lighten one's mood.
Wait.......
You don't actually read with any manner of comprehesion what he pixellates, do you?
Sheesh!
Ugh, that VFW post actually checks out. I fucking hate it when you don't lie!
Is The Tutor my daddy?
Korat
1995 and 1996
I'm sure he and I met over burgers and fries at the VFW.
Though why anyone would eat burgers and fries for 120 baht when you could get Phad Thai for 12 baht is beyond me
The Tutor is MY daddy, fuckface!
Go away.
Why would anyone eat burgers in Thailand PERIOD.
Pad thai = peanuts = DEATH.
Phad Thai = peanuts = your DEATH
Phad Thai is heaven for me.
who gives a shit.
I just wanted to be comment #140. Have a great weekend BP.
billy pilgrim excreted,
"......who gives a shit....."
I am quite certain John Candy would have - he loved the Jumbo Bar. At 800 baht each, you could rent three for an hour and have enough left over from a $100 bill, American, to "recharge" on burgers and fries at the VFW afterwards!
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