a few weeks ago i mentioned there might be a few changes in pilgrimville. a change occurred today, not the big change i had in mind, but a change nevertheless. it had been my plan to retire this summer but a few unexpected things popped up and, well you know the story, the best laid plans......
rather than pulling the plug, i gave it a tug today and will be on leave until the next fiscal year. i'm so excited i could shit. this isn't how things were supposed to play out. when i was a young man, i dreamed of the day i could retire and party like it's 1999. i'd be out drinking, partying, playing poker and generally having the time of my life but i never factored in one very important detail, AGE! although i now have the time and resources to fulfill those wonderful dreams, my decaying old body will have none of it. good bye alcohol, hello vegetables. it's been the ruin of many a poor boy.
the other plan was to leave the rat race and join two friends on vancouver island. well, that plan was shot to shit too. one friend up and died and the other has gone stark raving mad. he is probably pacing back and forth at this very moment waiting for the roof to collapse on the new house he built two years ago. several years ago he had a really nice little house on the ocean but became convinced that the house was about to collapse and sold it real cheap. he then bought a really beautiful large on house on the ocean and within a few months he was convinced that house was going to slide into the ocean and he'd be ruined. the house didn't slip into the ocean but he was ruined. major depression, suicidal and desperate. he sold the house at a huge loss and bought a new house in a family oriented sub-division. after several months he decided that the new house was depreciating too much in value so he sold it at a loss and built his current house. it's a fucking beauty, not on the ocean but across the street from the ocean with an unobstructed view. things were going smoothly until his well ran dry and again he's convinced the house is fallilng apart and he's back to being suicidal. there's one big difference this time, he's flat broke. i won't go into how he lost a ton of money on the market, suffice to say that mental illness played a big part. through all this nonsense he's refused medical help, i'm his surrogate therapist. oh, the stories i could tell.
so plan a and plan b are both down the shitter. scotty, i need that third option!!
this kind of sums it up.
i love you sons of bitches.
29 comments:
Travel. You are welcome to stay here a few days. It's almost paradise!
that's a pretty long bike ride but i suppose i'd find lots of empty beer cans along the way to pay for the trip.
Maybe you could retire if you stopped paying for your sons fucking cell phone service plan.
Paradise is a hamlet in Montana. But don't move there because you would want to start improving things there when nothing there needs to be improved.
Well, you live in a big country with a lot of sights to see. I once visited the Rocky mountains near Calgary and it gave my eyes much pleasure. In your place, I'd head south before winter arrives.
DON'T FORGET YOUR LUNCH..
it's the daughter's cell phone. sonny's on his own and might soon be looking after me.
gb - it would be interesting to spend the winter on the west side of vancouver island and experience the storms.
As long as you are not too close to the storms.
Well, Billy, me old mucker, I too had plans almost quite similar to those of your good self, mate. Unfortunately, they didn't quite come to fruition, though. Like you mentioned, the 'best laid plans of mice and men', and all that.
I've gotta admit that life's a helluva lot better than it was quite a few years back when I first met you online, mate.
I'm still a 'menace to sobriety' [it's been almost 17 years] though [ :-P ], am still battling prescription drug addiction, but have made a lot of headway in my life, thankfully.
Am now living independently with my partner of over two years, Eileen, in a run-down/depraved area/part of my home town [a lot of the kids/people living around here are sadly, junkies, alcoholics and the likes - it breaks my heart to see these people who, mainly through lack of work, in the main, poverty, direction, and apathy, have taken the path that thankfully I've managed to escape], and do in fact have a 13-week-old Yorkshire Terrier pup called Pebble.
Farmer Giles and his escapades is, and always has been, a crock of shit, mate. Initially, Billy, mate, I came up with the idea of Farmer Giles for a laugh, and even thought about writing some sort of humorous book about some of his ridiculous exploits. However, I finally came to my senses and thought what the fuck am I doing, and who the fuck am I kidding?
Thankfully, at almost 52, the body's still holding up well, amigo, and I still train daily. Don't have a job, am on sickness benefits. I still have daily issues to deal with, and try to tackle them straight-on. Not always easy, but nevertheless, I'm continuing to make progress.
Anyway, Billy, that's just the brief version. Yeah, I now know and realise that if you're going to get anywhere or try to improve the quality of your life, then quite often, you have to accept all the help that's available to you and get on with it. It's as simple as that!
As always, mate, to you and yours, I wish you a happy and peaceful day. Please give Rubes a big hug and a huge cybersnack from 'across the pond'.
Take Care & Stay Lucky, mate.
Steve/Utopia...
farmer giles - say it ain't so! you mean all those compliments you tossed my way were tainted.
52 - 17 = 35. holy shit, you haven't had a drink since you were 35! i made it to 50 and my crazy buddy's 65 and still drinking like a fish, that might be a large part of his problem.
what the fuck am I doing, and who the fuck am I kidding? the same thing we're all doing, getting a little escape from all the bullshit and nonsense in our lives. i find reality can be a harsh mistress.
is the pup named gizmo?
Farmer Giles is younger than I was thinking he was, if what he is saying is true, there is so much bullshit on the internut.
i find reality can be a harsh mistress.
Yes, but it's what I blog.
Fuck, no one takes me serious cuz they think I'm posting fiction.
Do you even have a tomato plant?
yes, i have 3 lovely tomato plants that i love as if they were my own children.
most stuff you read here is legit, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. i really do have a suicidal friend.
Three plants, you should get a good crop.
I don't think I have any suicidal friends but who knows, that shit can sneak up on you.
With the revelations coming fast and furious, I'm compelled to confess that I am a visitor from another universe that springs forth from this one in your distant future.
Sorry to have deceived you.
But I love you all and need you more than you can know.
Thims likes the food here, and he's a good man to share a campfire with, but we both sort of suck at pool.
guess who got a free kilo of peanut butter this morning.
me!
if an item rings up higher than the marked price on the shelf most grocery stores give you the item for free. of course i had to stand in line at customer service for a few minutes.
so i got that going for me too.
Real peanut butter, or just peanut flavored oil with corn syrup?
real, genuine kraft.
I bought some real peanut butter at Sunny Farms a few years ago, you pushed a button and waited for the machine to churn it out for you. I didn't think much of it, it was gritty and unsalted.
Billy, mate, well, my friend, it may appear [and, in light of the fact that Farmer Giles was indeed a fictional creation of my good self] that yeah, as you quite rightly stated, amigo, that all the compliments that the Dartmoor farmer tossed at you were tainted. :-P However, Billy, the truth of the matter is, mate, and no, I'm not grovelling or trying to lick your arse, me old mucker; but not long after meeting your good self on 'that' particular blogging site that was sadly taken over by those two wannabe Billionaires, who, unfortunately were full of shit and had ideas far above and beyond their station[s], I did indeed realise that you were indeed a truly good and decent bloke, my friend, and as you're no doubt aware, Billy, I have in fact, sincerely and genuinely sung your praises in the past, I think even on my short Blogger version of On With The Motley.
Gotta admit, Billy, that sometimes your high-level-intellect [yeah, and this is also meant, and stated in all sincerity, my friend] leaves me somewhat baffled and confused. I've read the word 'genius' stated by numerous people on your blog quite frequently, Billy, and I often have actually wondered if that which your fellow bloggers are stating is actually true. Sadly, that's why in the past, and probably [but hopefully not] in the future, I've/I'll respond to a comment with slight, but unintentional venom! I guess this is because I'm not quite sure as to whether you're taking the piss or not - not that this matters in the slightest - although that's a bit of a contradiction, otherwise I sadly wouldn't respond in the matter that I have done. :-( Sorry, mate, I forgot that you hate all things 'smiley' and the likes! :-P
[Contd]
I've actually been dry since September 1996, so that actually makes it almost 17 years next month. It's not something I even think nor bother about anymore, I just know that it was the best thing I ever did in my life. I'm not into self-pity and all that bullshit, as you're aware, Billy, mate, and am not into the 'haven't you been a good man, and done so well for yourself', nor the sympathy bollocks! :-P It's just something that happened, became a massive problem, and something I decided to deal with.
I'm actually 51 @ the minute, will be 52 in November, and stopped drinking when I was 34. So, Billy, not you're just marginally out on your maths, mate! :-P I'll now piss you off, Billy, and congratulate you on the length of your sobriety, my friend. Nah, seriously, mate, I take my hat off to you - I believe that I knew what you were going through, when you mentioned it on the blogging site that I mentioned earlier, and as such, were facing hard times because of the 'devil's brew', mate, and am happy to see that you're still around to be able to continue to deliver your delightful sense of humour and wit. Or, as Farmer Giles would've said: 'Your humour is a gift, sir." :-P
"what the fuck am I doing, and who the fuck am I kidding? the same thing we're all doing, getting a little escape from all the bullshit and nonsense in our lives. i find reality can be a harsh mistress." Couldn't have put it better myself, Billy. You see, Billy, here's a fine example of a piece of Canadian phraseology, i.e. 'i find reality can be a harsh mistress.' Now, that in itself is a philosophical statement that I've never heard any of my fellow Brits use, my friend. It's refreshing to hear such Platonian expressions, and when I head to the pie shop in the morning, I'll state with joyful glee, and in a Thespian manner, not to mention, with a stupid fuckin' smirk on my face, when, and after paying and receiving my four potato and meat pies, that, 'I find that reality can be a harsh mistress.' After initially getting the crap kicked out of me, by both pie and sandwich shop staff and customers, I think I'll then go on to recite from Shakespeare's Richard III, "A horse, my Kingdom for a horse!", as I smugly fuck off, running for my life down Rawlinson Street [now, there's a clue to the area where we are currently living in, if ever there was one - Google Maps is your friend amigo!]. :-P
Gizmo, was a fictional character linked to Farmer Giles, Billy, mate. Sorry. However, The real McCoy [i.e. she DOES exist - we've had her seven weeks, tomorrow, Saturday, 17/08/13], is Pebble - she's a beautiful, adorable, wonderfully affectionate and mad-as-a-hatter, daft-as-a-brush, 14-week-old [on Monday] Yorkshire Terrier. Even most, if not all of, the sad and unfortunate, not to mention, most of the unsavoury and unfortunate characters [who, in actual fact, I have the utmost respect for, essentially due to the fact that it breaks my heart to see these unfortunate people so fucked-up and screwed-up] living around here always stop to take the time to have a chat and give her some loving attention when I'm out walking her.
[Contd-2]
@ Bill - "Farmer Giles is younger than I was thinking he was, if what he is saying is true, there is so much bullshit on the internut."
Yeah, sorry, Bill for misleading you, mate, but the truth is, my friend, that which you've just read, or wish to read above. It's been a pleasure, Bill, getting to know a bit about you, mate, albeit in a kind of 'manufactured' and 'self-orchestrated' way, by myself. You too seem a good and decent bloke, Bill, and any friend of Billy's is always a friend of mine. Please excuse the mushy, sentimental, clichéd bullshit, mate.
So, to briefly summarise, Billy and Bill, I hope to post some pics up on my blog - of yours truly, my current partner of over two years, Eileen, who's 15 years my junior [she's actually 36], and the one and only, adorable Yorkie, Pebble. Still got the long hair, although somewhat less of it on top, the ear-rings, the good, the bad and the ugly looks [ :-P ], a highly toned and highly tuned body [ :-P ], am still into Debian GNU Linux - and currently using 'testing' [codenamed: Jessie], read a lot, am a fanatical blues fan, play the guitar far too much, my current love being my 2012 Fender American Deluxe Stratocaster [Amber body/maple neck], which, if I could fathom out how to, I'd make love to most of the day. There's been quite a lot more changes, Billy, mate, since the good old/bad old days.
So, Billy, me old mucker, it goes without saying that, to you & yours, I wish you well, my friend, and I hope that the sun shines down on you all. I echo the very same sentiment to Bill and to anyone else who wants to read and receive such genuine statements of true 'man' love and affection from an idiotic, hippy-type, British clown ! :-P
PS On a more Utopian note of old, to quote Martin Luther King, I'll simply say, "I Still Have a Dream."
Steve/Utopia...
steve - you silver tongued devil!
and a young lady love, if that isn't nice what is?
as for the harsh mistress line, i must confess to drawing it from heinlein's the moon is a harsh mistress. maybe i'll try to work in specialization is for insects one of these days.
yes, at times i do miss the old blogster. remember the old posts of my fridge full of dark beer in coke bottles? that might have been the highlight of my drinking career. i had a permanent smile on my face, well not the next mornings. the wife of the brewery owner wouldn't let him talk to me after he lost a fortune shorting krispy creme donuts. then one day i showed up with a bunch of fish and wanted to use his scales. holy fuck, i miss those days.
it still brings a smile to my face when i think about the tale you spun about gerry from australia. and let's not forget the blonde nurse sending you a wedding present!
those were the days my friend, you were a story teller in a league of your own.
Enjoy the leave, BP, and you get to have some fun. Sorry to hear about your retirement buddies. Getting old definitely has some bull shit that goes along with it. Take care buddy.
Acquire some land, build a greenhouse, become a commercial tomato farmer.
Just a thought.
Hi, Billy, mate, I've just read your comments in response to yet another one of my sadly, long-winded and stupidly brought about explanations for my ridiculous behaviour, my friend; and have to admit that I smiled with joyous glee, and a kind of strange sadness at some of the reminiscent blogs from days gone by on good old 'Blogster'.
Yeah, I guess that you could indeed say that those were the days, Billy, mate. Times haven't changed much, though, Billy. You were still the star of the show, and I was just another annoying British cretin, who'd often puzzle people, regretfully annoy people, often blog about a total crock of rubbish, and try and flirt with as many of the female bloggettes as possible.
You, my friend, were slightly more refined. You still had the ability to make people laugh like hell, you would offer advice to those who were in need, and would often offer your Sage-like wisdom to those of us who had become deluded or misguided [and yeah, there were many, amigo] or were in the process of losing their minds [or already had]. You were very much respected, mate, had many friends and associates, and would always be there to take the piss, or help people - me included, my friend :-P
I've just read about The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress by Robert A. Heinlein, Billy, and it appears, from what I've read on Wikipedia, that this could be an extremely interesting read. I'll add it to my 'to read' list, mate. Bloody hell, with all due respect, Billy, you're a bit like a walking encyclopedia of knowledge, what, with all the factual stuff that your brain possesses and all of the fascinating and interesting books that you must've read over the years, my friend.
Yeah, of course I remember Gerry Hiles, Billy. I still owe the bloke a big-time apology for the big-time jokey, yet, totally out-of-order accusation that I made against him. I still wish that I could offer that sincere apology to the bloke, today, Billy.
I don't mean to rub salt into the wounds of past memories, Billy, but you made some joke about some of the crazy events and happenings when you were drinking like there was no tomorrow. I don't know if you remember this, Billy, mate, but I had no inclination whatsoever to how big a problem the 'devil's brew' had become for you. However, one Christmas, when everyone was exchanging online pleasantries, mate, I do recall you saying that you'd woken during the night and were shaking like a leaf. I remember commenting something like, "Well, I hope you get over the flu quickly, mate," etc.., and that's when you told me, possibly privately, or maybe on your blog part of what the problem was. That's when a light immediately switched on in my head as to just what you were going through, mate. Anyway, Billy, I think you'll no doubt remember the rest.
Cindy/MentalHealthRN was a character. She was the sweet thing that fell for my l'al joke about marrying Sid/Sydney! :-P I often wonder what happened to some of the good, kind and decent folk that existed on that site, mate. Names such as Jimmy, Ged, Michael, Cindy, Syd, DawgNurse and the like immediately spring to mind, mate.
Anyway, sorry to go on, and on, and on - there're some things in life, mate, that time can't heal, nor change, Billy, my friend.
As an aside, there's one thing, Billy, about sobriety that I enjoy, and that's the fact that you can always apologise for the errors of your ways, and always remember having done them. When you're 'out-of-it' on drink, mate, some of us have to live with the regret of unintentionally [it's generally the ale talking] hurting, saying, doing and destroying people's lives; yet because we've been so 'blathered', we can't even remember it - and to me, Billy, not only is that extremely sad, but it's also extremely dangerous!
To You & Your, I Wish You a Happy and peaceful Day.
Take Care & Stay Lucky.
Peace,
Steve...
steve - you and the lovely mrs myshkin certainly have different opinions of me. i really hate admitting it when she' right about anything but in this case, she's right.
i function better with childish insults than with undeserved praise.
gerry was a prick so i don't think you owe him an apology.
Post a Comment