Tuesday, September 10, 2013

ouch

38 years ago i was a proud member of the canadian coast guard serving in the arctic. one of things i was told had to do with dying, don't worry about the ship sinking, it's the helicopters that'll kill you. well, IT HAPPENED AGAIN. i always hated flying in those things, not because of the safety threat but because of the noise and smell. several years ago when sonny was working in a mining camp in the yukon he sent me this picture:

this was a supply helicopter for the camp and he occasionally flew in it. in this case the transmission gave out just after take off at an altitude of about 10 feet. no one was killed, just a few broken bones and concussions. mamas don't let your babies grow up to fly helicopters.

at this very moment sonny is in the yukon working on an abandoned mine with a leaky tailing pond. it seems like yesterday he was a kid, then a university student, then an e.i.t. (engineer in training), then an intermediate engineer and now he's the lead engineer cleaning up mines. he's getting up to 16 billable hours/day on this project and the best part is, no helicopter rides!

i was in the dentist chair getting my broken tooth pulverized this morning watching the news channel when the news broke about the helicopter. it took my mind off the tooth for a nano second. it was a 2 hour appointment and lucky me, i have another 1 hour appointment next week to put the fucking thing back together. 2013, the summer of fucked up teeth: 5 cavities and 1 broken tooth. the dentist is getting a lot of billable hours out of me. can anyone guess what i did after the dental appointment?

a little fishing followed by ice cream. breakfast of champions!

i love you sons of bitches.

63 comments:

Farmer Giles said...

Billy, hope that your 'toothy peg's' OK, matey, and I hope that you survive to continue to further expand this wonderful blog, my friend.

Didn't realise you were such a brave, and heroic kind of bloke, my main man. I've been on a 'heli' out to the oil rigs in the North Sea, off Aberdeen, and didn't take too it at all. Had to do all the safety 'tank emergency escape' stuff prior to flying, which was a kind of adrenaline rush!

Catch you later, mate. I've got a poor pup with tummy troubles and a poor, beloved, darling, beautiful partner with night sickness.

To You & Yours, I Wish You a Happy & Peaceful Night!

Take Care & Stay Lucky!

Peace,

Steve...

PS Hope you got your tooth off the 'slightly rich' dentist, so that you can put it under your pillow for the tooth fairy! :-P

Ciao!

PPS Just for the record, my friend, to http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/question455.htm , and you'll be shocked at my score! :-P

Gorilla Bananas said...

You boy is cleaning up mines? That sounds more dangerous than riding in a helicopter, but I don't have statistics to prove it. Doesn't ice cream hurt when you've got a broken tooth?

billy pilgrim said...

farmer - sorry to hear about the pup and the missus. will i be shocked at how high or how low your score is?

anything under 200 would shock me.

gb - i think it's more of a dirty job than a dangerous job and no, ice cream doesn't hurt my teeth but that cold water jet in the dentist chair sure makes me jump.

BBC said...

You have to be bat shit crazy to get in a chopper, if there isn't something broke on one there is about to be. I've never been in one and don't plan on getting in one.

My teeth don't give me a bit of trouble, hahahahaha

BBC said...

Did you know that in September 1775, early in the American Revolutionary War, Colonel Benedict Arnold led a force of 1,100 Continental Army troops on an expedition from Cambridge, Massachusetts to the gates of Quebec City?

billy pilgrim said...

shit, too bad he didn't obliterate quebec. that would have saved us a fortune in equalization payments.

BBC said...

His army was pretty sorry by the time they got there, three hundred died on the way and what was left wasn't worth a shit.

The French there helped them some but it wasn't enough so you are still fucked by the French.

BBC said...

What the hell, better for you to be stuck with the French than us.

BBC said...

"Quebec seeks to ban public workers from wearing religious symbols."

I think that is a great idea...

peppylady (Dora) said...

One summer my oldest son fought forrest fire and he was more leery that he would go down in helicopter crash then burn up in a fire....Funny thing he now into aviation mechanics...some day he would like to get his engineer in aviation.

Coffee is on

peppylady (Dora) said...

"Quebec seeks to ban public workers from wearing religious symbols."

I think that is a great idea...

BBC around here the bigger the cross is weighing down your neck a better chance you'll land a good paying job.

billy pilgrim said...

if there was a poll 2 years ago asking which province would do something stupid like ban turbans most canadians would have probably guessed alberta. but it turns out that quebecers are the racist rednecks of canada. who knew!

BBC said...

Since when is banning stupid religious shit racist? Those dumb fucks have been proving for thousands of years that they'll never get along together. They try but it is never going to happen.

billy pilgrim said...

it's racist since i decided it was racist.

you might be the king buy i'm the moderator and i have decreed that those fucking frogs are racist.

Farmer Giles said...

Now, now, peeps [people], let's not start, or begin to spread any more racial prejudice or hatred. Don't you think that there's enough of this sort of thing going on around the world at the minute as it is?

Thank You.

Sorry, Billy!

To You & Yours, I Wish You a Happy & Peaceful Night!

Take Care & Stay Lucky!

Peace,

Steve...

BBC said...

Racist or opportunists?

Farmer Giles said...

Bill, does it matter, mate?

Take Care & Stay Lucky!

Peace,

Steve...

Farmer Giles said...

Q] What's the difference between Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein & Robert Mugabe

A] Robert Mugabe's still alive and's still a murderous, dictating cunt!

It's only a joke, for fuck's sake! It's only a joke... :-P

Take Care & Stay Lucky!

Peace,

Steve...

BBC said...

It doesn't matter to me, I'm just pointing out that you can't tell a 'frog' by it's color being as they've been everywhere and fucked everything.

There's plenty of them in New Orleans that look like niggers. :-)

BBC said...

"MULBERRY, Fla. (AP) — A Florida pastor has been arrested before he could set fire to almost 3,000 Qurans."

Big deal, I've burned christian bibles.

Farmer Giles said...

Bill, isn't the last word in your last post considered to be the ultimate insult to any black person on this planet, mate.

Have you no shame, my friend. Personally, I think you're way out of order and should apologise for being so. Surely, to make such a hateful and disgusting comment, and to use such a sickening word is an utter disgrace, not only to yourself, but to all the black people who have the sad and sickening misfortune to read such drivel, my friend.

Just My Two Pence Worth!

Take Care & Stay Lucky!

Peace,

Steve...

PS Or is it because I'm a 'Benefit Scrounger' that you reacted in the way you did?

Ciao!

Farmer Giles said...

Bill, take off that KKK outfit, mate, and get yourself to church on Sundays!

Take Care & Stay Lucky!

Peace,

Steve...

BBC said...

No, I do not think I'm out of line, but you may be missing my points. I don't get all bent out of shape when I'm called a honky.

'Benefit Scrounger'? I don't know enough about you and that to call it one way or the other.

BBC said...

You want me to go to a christian or muslim church?

billy pilgrim said...

farmer giles - the king is a master baiter and you got hooked.

BBC said...

Um, I wasn't fishing...

Leslie said...

BBC, it's been too long since I've told you you are ignorant trash, and a wretched human being.

BBC said...

And it's been a while since I've reminded you that you are a cunt.

Leslie said...

Low class, uneducated hick. Only an asshole would try to equate "honky" with the word you used.

BBC said...

And I have friends in low places...

Leslie said...

Six feet under is low enough. You will not be missed.

BBC said...

Oh, you have made it clear that you won't miss me but you don't speak for all.

But be of good cheer, your wish is likely to be granted within the year.

Leslie said...

Is it too soon to start celebrating? Too bad you can't take the rest of the racist American garbage with you.

BBC said...

It's never too soon to start celebrating, bitch. Many will do so when you leave.

Leslie said...

You've been promising to kick off for 3 years now. Just git'r done already, chickenshit!

billy pilgrim said...

au contraire leslie - the king will be greatly missed by many people.

texlahoma said...

I've never been in a helicopter and don't want to be, but I've been to the dentist and don't want to go back.
Do people up that way ever make homemade ice cream? Good stuff man, I think peach is my favorite, strawberry is a close second though.

BBC said...

I was away for a few hours painting a building for a kraut while Leslie painted her fucking fingernails and bitched about racists, that have always been here and always will be, in fact it's going to be worse at times so deal with it.

Leslie said...

A man who let all his teeth rot out cannot be taken seriously. The bacteria went straight to your brain and your behavior is the result.

BBC said...

She's still pissed cuz in past lives she had to suck my dick.

billy pilgrim said...

was she worth the $20?

BBC said...

Twenty bucks my ass, she had to suck it for free.

BBC said...

SEASIDE PARK, N.J. (AP) — A raging boardwalk fire in a Jersey shore community still recovering from Superstorm Sandy has destroyed more than 50 businesses.

If I gave a fuck I would give it to them.

Leslie said...

Poor old bitter man. So full of hate.

billy pilgrim said...

i think it was started by a syrian agent with an exceptional bic lighter.

BBC said...

Just got an email from Doc Teri, she has been sick, it was nice to hear from her.

Mr. Shife said...

I guess I will need to try and talk Kyle into a new line of work as he tells me that he wants to fly helicopters when he gets older. Didn't know you served in the Coast Guard, BP. Look forward to hearing some of those stories if you haven't shared any yet. Glad you are almost done with the dentist and also glad to hear Sonny is doing well. Take care buddy.

BBC said...

Poor old bitter man. So full of hate.

Stupid fucking people that insist on living and working where they shouldn't deserve to get the fuck beat out of them by nature.

I'm not bitter, I'm just pointing out that they are fucking stupid and I'm not helping them.

And if some of them die why in the hell should I care?

billy pilgrim said...

king - happy yom kippur! are you doing anything special to observe this special day?

i'm letting ruby shit on all muslim lawns after the sun goes down then again before the sun rises tomorrow morning.

BBC said...

i I ignore yom kippur the best I can.

COMPOST??

billy pilgrim said...

tex - homemade ice cream sounds good but i know my limitations.

mr shife - thank you for your dental sympathy. i might have finally learned my lesson as far as ju jubes are concerned.

BBC said...

Jersey shore tourism struggles: Get your ass over there and spend some money. You can go look at burned up buildings, tourism is tourism and blow jobs have been reduced to forty bucks.

Take a camera and get pictures.

Anonymous said...

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from your sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the sass, of glory in the glower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Shite in what remains behind;
~WW


Ah well-a-day! what evil looks
Had he from old and young!
Instead of the wit, BBC shit
About his blog was flung.
~STC

Anonymous said...

BBC is a contestant on a television game show like "Let's Make A Deal" in which a contestant must choose one of three closed doors and wins whatever is behind it.

One door conceals a naked Leslie - behind the other two doors there is nothing. BBC makes his choice. The game show host knows behind which door resides a naked Leslie. The host then proceeds to open one of the doors that BBC did not choose - a door he also knows does not conceal a naked Leslie. Before all is revealed, BBC is offered the chance to switch his choice to the other remaining closed door if he wants.

Should BBC switch or keep his original choice if....
- He wishes to see Leslie naked?
Or
- He wishes to ‘win’ nothing?

The Tutor exclaims: "With two choices remaining and one naked Leslie, the chances are 50-50. It really doesn't matter."

BBC said...

What is that cocksucker babbling about? Trying to write poetry I guess. She’ll never get the world she wants, and if she did she wouldn’t fit in it.

Anonymous said...

God save thee, ancient Coast Guard cunt
From the fiends that plague thee thus
Why look'st thou foul ? - With my bat cowl
I fuct the ALBATROSS.

BBC said...

Is she the one that wrote the cocksuckers lament poem?

Leslie said...

No, dummy. That was Mick Jagger.

BBC said...

I’ve taken a sudden interest in making head wraps, I’ll sell them to the cocksuckers through that fancy store they like to shop at. A man should profit off of those cocksuckers.

billy pilgrim said...

me and walter sobchak are atoning today so i can't argue with you dumb cunts until the sun goes down.

BBC said...

Hahahahaha.....

I'd better take a nap and go do some painting, the fog is starting to lift.

Leslie said...

Making headwraps? LOL!

Translation: cutting fabric into rectangular shapes. #madskillz

Anonymous said...

".....38 years ago i was a proud member of the canadian coast guard serving in the arctic......."

Yet you do not seem to recognise Coleridge's "Rime"?
You must be a liar. ALL Canadian seafarers know that poem - some by heart even.

It's understandable that the alleged "Navy Man" BBC wouldn't know the poem - he's an idiot - but you pilgrim? I am disappointed.

Oh and if BBC wants to see Leslie naked, he'll switch his choice of doors. The probability that the naked Leslie is behind the door of his original choice is 1/3. Therefore, the other door has a probability of 2/3.