have i ever mentioned that i don't like cops?
i don't say that as much as i did in the past but the sentiment still rings true so when i read 4 COPS INJURED WHILE EATING AT FAT BURGER!!, i smiled. it's almost too comical to be true. 4 pigs at the fat burger trough, hit by renegade car. if this happened in toronto with rob ford driving, it would have been the event of the century. but this is one thing they can't blame on the fair rob ford.
does anyone have a sony dream machine? if not, do not buy one under any circumstances. i bought one a few years ago because the clock on my dvd recorder had smallish numbers that i couldn't read from across the room. it was hate a first sight with the so called dream machine. just plug in it? shit no, i had to enter the time zone and date and some other shit before it would work. after that is was supposed to be a fabulous machine but it wasn't. somehow the son of a bitch was 3 minutes fast and no matter what i did, i couldn't get the correct time. every time i reset the prick, i reverted back to being 3 minutes fast. this past weekend our time reverted back to standard time from daylight savings time and the clock was supposed make the adjustment itself. in the past it had done this, but not this time so i had to change the time manually. again, it was a fucking pain in the neck but i figured out how to change the time. BUT, every time i made the change, the son of bitch jumped ahead to daylight savings time. finally i figured out what to do, there was a DST button on the side to manually go back and forth from daylight savings time but there was nothing in the instructions to say this.
am i an idiot? maybe, but apparently i'm not the only one. i was talking to a friend with a sony dream machine and told her of my adventures. how did she reply?
WELCOME TO THE CLUB, MINE'S 18 MINUTES FAST AND I'VE LEARNED TO LIVE WITH IT!
one thing in the piece of shit's favor, it's a tough son of a bitch. at one point i called it a fucking piece of shit and threw it on the floor but the son of bitch took it like a man. it still worked.
rob ford on bikes
i love you sons of bitches
75 comments:
Billy, interesting blog, my man. Some fine home-truths in there, mate.
Some people say that life's a crock of shit and then you die. Personally, I believe that you die when you believe that life's a crock of shit. Life's a strange thing, innit?
Taking a break, mate. Like you said, I've been corrupted by The King! :-P
Take Care & Stay Lucky, buddy!
Peace,
Steve...
i often think life's a crock of shit but haven't died yet.
at this very moment i think gmail is a crock of shit. why do they have to keep changing the fucking thing?????
5 bic lighters for 5 sheqels! what a bargain, i take 50.
and i expect you to remove the safety rings.
or was that 6 sheqels?
I was almost waiting for Rob Ford to end his speech with
"Well, if bikes had their own lane, maybe that would work, but they don't, so it's too dangerous, too many cars and trucks and buses."
delete*.*
Or is it
delete.*.*?
Thim's would know.
delete.cunt.*.*
My fucking cell phone dialed 911 somehow ten minutes ago, this new fucking cell phone without the buttons covered is a pain in the ass at times. I told them everything was fine but then a cop came by. Nice guy.
I shit you not, I don't have to make shit like this up.
tex - the good rob ford is reputed to smoke crack. it's a fact that he's an alcoholic and pot smoker. our best mayor!
king - did you tell the cop you're a king?
So they called their alarm clock a "dream machine"? That sounds like desperate marketing of a shitty product. I bet they don't sell it in Japan.
Rob Ford has nothing on our politicians, smoking cocaine goes back to at least JFK and he got to boink MM.
Exactly what is it that I’m supposed to be king of?
Trailers for sale or rent...
Rooms to let, fifty cents....
SING ALONG NOW..
HERE IS A SPECIAL COFFEE FOR YOU TO TRY.
Hahaha, love that crazy crack smoking mayor, he calls 'em like he sees 'em!
If I know my cops, and I think I do, at least FOUR of them will milk this into early retirement with disability.
But not until they put in a good hundred thousand dollar year with the sweet overtime to fatten up the pension calculations.
king:
"All mine!" billy cook cried. "Oh, the things I now rule!
I'm the king of a cow! And I'm the king of a mule!
I'm the king of a house! And, what's more, beyond that
I'm the king of a blueberry bush and a cat!
I'm billy c cook! Oh, marvelous me!
For I am the ruler of all that I see!"
gb - there would probably be a lot of money in designing really simple electronics with few features and large fonts.
harry - BREAKING NEWS, ROB FORD ADMITS TO SMOKING CRACK!!!
funny thing, our straight laced mayor is for safe injection sites but the crack smoking rob ford is against safe injection sites.
Pfft.... My cat sleeps in the middle of my bed.
Please allow me to share the true powers of knowledge and wisdom.
Sincerely,
Horace
Bring it on beotch!
Well, it seems that I have one person in dire need of my teachings already as they appear to be illiterate.
Sincerely,
Horace.
Da fat guy may run for preznut in 2016, things are going to get real interesting. I'd better stock up on more things I can barter with.
horace and bea - i'm afraid i'm not familiar with your work.
king - fat guy? ralph kramden of new jersey?
Yup.... :-)
bea - apparently you don't know the rules.
Two cunts being a pain in the ass isn't a swarm, and it has nothing at all to do with fucking.
In order to become familiar with my work, it is of utmost importance that you read the wisdom and knowledge contained within my latest blogs, which are featured in I Am Your Knowledge. In order to become familiar with my work, it is of utmost importance that you read the wisdom and knowledge contained within these blogs so that you become fully acquainted with that which I possess, true knowledge. Eventually, those who show, and have the potential, will be directed to my primary website. I can honourably assure you that this is not an exercise in spamming or an unsolicited post. My aim is to educate as well as encourage. The opportunity is yours for the taking.
Sincerely,
Horace.
What a load of horace shit.
This place is noticeably lacking in females.
Ah, we have a comedian on board. Welcome to the Ship Of Sighs, Bea Authersdik. Are you Scandinavian by any chance?
Sincerely,
Horace.
Leslie, I can always show you my feminine side, sweetheart. Why not slip into something sexy, nip to bed with a coffee, and I'll call round and make you feel like a _real_ woman! :-P
Sorry, Billy, mate, but sometimes, these things just have to be said! :-P
To You & Yours, I Wish You a Happy & Peaceful Day/Night!
Take Care & Stay Lucky & Have a Happy Christmas & Prosperous New Year, Mate [and I extend that sentiment to the rest of you fine folk]!
Peace,
Steve...
i'm not the chick magnet i once was.
Not many male blogger out there. Anyhow a few I've bump into via the net seem to be stuck in rut.
Coffee is on
I'm not big Cop fan. Anyhow most of them has some type of mental or social defect.
My youngest son despise them. Yea I'm just waiting for him to punch one out.
I won't go into it. Way to length.
Well maybe some time I'll blog about last time I got pulled over for speeding.
Coffee is on
COPS!
"Leslie, I can always show you my feminine side, sweetheart. Why not slip into something sexy, nip to bed with a coffee, and I'll call round and make you feel like a _real_ woman! :-P"
Yeah, this bit I read on your blog is a real turn-on....
Anyway, because I'm quite big in the penile department [and no, I'm not being fuckin' boastful :-], and because, despite the fact that I'm a careful and considerate lover, I find that the majority of the time, in order to feel and find total satisfaction, I have to be quite forceful, inasmuch that, I have to thrust myself into the orifice I'm getting it on with quite hard in order to achieve full satisfaction and full ejaculation.
Anais Nin's got nothing on you.
Where do I sign up?
Thimscool, what exactly were you Googling when you came across that video?
"I have here a warrant for the search of your anal cavity!"
All you fucking squares what think I'm over-reacting to the signs of the times need to take a deep huff and acknowledge reality.
That news story should be in The Onion.
Our most desperate aspiration is to cling to the status quo...
...which evidently involves being billed for an involuntary colonoscopy proscribed to fetch contraband from our nethers, due to the zealous prosecution of dimwitted and fully empowered minions of der stadt.
But the centrist can't possibly hold (that many hallucinogens in their colon), and we are likely to see more repressive times going forward. It will be a pity to lose our freedoms...
have i ever mentioned that i don't like cops?
we have went through a 50 year period of freedom and affluence. what makes fools think this will last forever?
no more free rides for the proletariat.
i got hit in the head by a small meteor and the true purpose behind obamacare popped into my brain.
I'll assume that you will never feel the need to call the cops for help. I like the cops here but they are not like big city cops.
I miss America.
It's still out there, go camping...
thims - go watch a few romantic comedies with frump and the king. i personally can't stand chick flicks but i guess the king is just an old softy under than manly exterior.
I like westerns also. Any movie where the good guys are beating the shit out of the bad guys and getting the best poontang.
Doris Day still makes Maudes dick hard!
BBC's definition of "best poontang":
Plastic
No voicebox
Fits in pocket
nothing wrecks a good western as much as gratuitous sex.
bea arthur - the king has certain roguish charms so i give him a pass on most sex comments. you lack the king's charm so keep it clean.
my international readership doesn't give a shit about maude's dick.
It's your forum obviously, delete and be damned. I've got your roguish charm dangling.
Also.....
Easily disposed of.
Self fueling during cremation.
your shell is easily disposed of but your spirit is like a bad smell, it just won't go away.
I sense that you would like for me to go away... Okay....
poof
Leslie, darling, don't worry about your uncontrollable urges and desires, sweetheart, for some strange reason, I've always had this impact/effect on women. I think it's a 'This Charming Man' type thing! :-P
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Sweet Dreams & Wishing You Dry Panties, peace,
Steve...
sorry king, i didn't mean to chase you away. i was trying to say that your spirit will live on.
please accept my apology.
Billy, it's nice to see that you're using your ever-engaging tactile manner and humour to control the uncontrollable masses, my friend. :-P
To You & Yours, I Wish You a Happy & Peaceful Day/Night!
Peace,
Steve...
PS Come on gang, let the rapturous fun continue, but without anyone getting hurt. Going Tits-up, ain't 'nicey, 'nicey', now is it? Innit a sad 'n sorry state of affairs when the shit hits the fan?
Ciao,
Steve...
PS
I'd like you know why you find it necessary to sign your name twice in one comment? Or....at all?
Leslie, my sweet, please just take it from the one who knows - it's a necessity - believe you me! :-P
Big hugs & Erotic, Vivacious Dreams!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
apologizing is one of my strengths.
it's like john prine's illegal smile; it don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while.
No wonder the Chinese are taking over your country.
I had an old-school wind-up alarm clock that half-ass worked similarly, but only til I fine-tuned it with a hammer.
Sheesh, Leslie, you must have been really bored.
Leslie said,
"BBC's definition of "best poontang":
Plastic
No voicebox
Fits in pocket"
To which BBC retorted,
"Also.....
Easily disposed of.
Self fueling(sic) during cremation."
Oh snap!
And what the fuck is "poontang"?
Leslie is profaning Jesus and all the angels in heaven by shamelessly advertising the fact that she has HAD SEXUAL INTERCOURSE THE FECKING TROLLOP!
Yes, our dear Leslie is "Harbouring A Fugitive", "Up The Duff", "Heavy With Child", "In The Family Way".
Like, Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Like, Mmmmmmmmmmmmm!
Pregnant women are HAWT!
Fuck me, that's actually quite humorous and titilating, innit? Team Cunt I'm on about!
Wouldn't be your good self, Billy, would it, having a larffff?
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
The only people who are mad at you for speaking the truth are those people who are living a lie.
Keep speaking the truth. [Unashamedly and tediously thefted from somewhere on my Google+ homepage]
PS Got your home theatre malarkey sorted out yet, buddy?
Ciao!
aquarian - are you telling us that the fair leslie is pregnant?
after giving it careful consideration;
who gives a shit.
The proverbial rabbit has died and gone to rabbit heaven!
The Alpha male Leslie is indeed in trouble.
What do you mean, "who gives a shit"? Are you mental?
Leslie, with her personality, is going to make us rue the day we were born. Her pregnancy with be the worst, most painful, most novel and most discussed pregnancy the human world has ever witnessed. And we, we few, we happy few, we band of brothers and sisters are going to have to tolerate every minutiae of this vile process from here on in and out.
I'm leaving the continent in 2 weeks or so and will not have access to the Internet, so you all will have to endure it!
Ha!
Losers!
yes, i am mental.
if you're going to israel, can you pick up some of those bargain priced bic lighters for me?
I am off to a poor communist realm where the vile products of Baron Bic capitalism are not available. Instead of bourgeois lighters, the locals rub sticks together to light their fine cigars.
Aqua, sweetheart. So, from the description of the communist cuntry you mentioned, could it be, or could it not be, Cuba you're heading to? If so, please say hello to Raúl, buy him a Havana. and if you get the time, why not visit the Che Guevara Studies Centre - you'll leave as a different woman! :-P
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace, Love & Hourly Boners,
Steve... :-P
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