The Russian soul is a dark place

Hello, my name is Prince Leo Myshkin and my good friend Billy Pilgrim has tasked me with penning a post. Billy will be indisposed for a few days whilst the medical industrial complex has their way with him. If anyone wishes Billy ill for his past indiscretions or his seeming lack of compassion for those spending the winter at lake pity, your wishes may have come true. It is very difficult for me to imagine anyone wishing Billy ill but it was also very difficult for me to imagine life outside of the Swiss sanatorium that both held me prisoner and occasionally gave me shelter from the electrical storms raging in my head.

Billy has given me carte blanche on enjoy the moment but therein lays the problem. I’ve never been given carte blanche before and I find it very overwhelming. There is a certain comfort in having all your decisions made by others and not having any pressure to be productive or display any intelligence. Being an idiot can be both a curse and a blessing. In the past when I had no freedom, I had many things to say and some of them would probably have made sense. It’s easy to make sense when expectations are low, but can I make sense when expectations are high? I doubt if I’ll ever have an answer to that question because I can't imagine anyone ever having high expectations of me. Billy’s good friend Eliot has said that he has high expectations of me but that doesn't count. Eliot provides unconditional positive support to every living creature on the planet. Eliot once told me Ivan the terrible wasn't such a bad guy.

I will do us all a service by not squandering your valuable time listening to the ramblings of an idiot as I’m sure there is no shortage of idiots in everyone's circle of friends. Are your idiots compassionate christians or are your idiots nihilists? Can a person be both a compassionate christian and a nihilist? Is it possible to be a compassionate christian without a shred of nihilism? I do not pretend to know the answers to these questions. Billy often told me that any nitwit can be philosophical but being happy requires work.

Please remember, you were sick, but now you are well again. And there's work to be done. Goddammit, work at being happy!

12 big ones!

it is with great pleasure that i announce ruby's 12th birthday. as i've mentioned in the past today is an estimate of her birthday, give or take a month. we adopted the little angel from animal control and the rest is history. she was an incredibly high maintenance dog for the first year or so, suffering from separation anxiety whenever she was left alone. she specialized in chewing through electrical cords. how she wasn't electrocuted, i'll never know. she's old and arthritic now and has a very difficult time climbing the stairs. shit, occasionally she won't get off the couch when the mail is delivered.

have i ever mentioned that ruby doesn't like cops?

i love you sons of bitches

the prince

due to a dearth of suitable candidates, the position of king will remain vacant for the immediate future. enjoy the moment is purely a non-profit, benevolent endeavor so engaging a high priced head hunting firm was out of the question and not worth bringing to the board of the rosewater foundation. eliot is a busy man these days and his time is better spent working directly with the afflicted rather than being bogged down with my petty administrative headaches.

as a result of all this i convinced an old friend to fill the void. it is with great pleasure that i announce the titular figurehead of enjoy the moment is none other than my old friend, prince leo myshkin. if you can't find a king, grab the best prince available and there are very, very few men of title more qualified to represent a benevolent organization than prince leo myshkin. leo is perhaps the most endearing, translucent, and christ-like person i've ever met. what does this mean? you better don't fuck with leo or pilgrim will get madder than a two headed turtle with only one worm.

one more thing that brought a smile to my face: POLICE CHIEF ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS SELF AT GUN SHOP. have i ever mentioned i don't like cops?

please take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. it doesn't cost very much and it lasts a long time.

i love you sons of bitches

the booby prize

is there a bigger booby prize on the planet right now than having the winning bid for the olympics?

montreal spent years paying for their olympics even after they're mayor said "The Montreal Olympics can no more have a deficit, than a man can have a baby." the montreal olympics were held in 1976 and it was 1996 before the olympic stadium was paid off. the vancouver olympics lost money but the olympic organizing committee claimed to have broke even. yes they did, because the federal, provincial and city governments covered the loss. they say for every $12 spent by Ottawa and B.C. on the three big projects, local taxpayers contributed only $1.

now it appears that russia is going to have THE MOST EXPENSIVE OLYMPIC GAMES EVER! the cost has ballooned from $12,000,000,000.00 to $50,000,000,000.00. that's quite an increase and the $50 billion figure will probably rise. i would think russian needs some better managers and accountants. but more importantly, i think russia needs some better politicians. our western politicians might be total assholes but the russian politicians seem to have added incompetency to the wonderful traits of assholeness and corruption. on the other hand, blowing $50 billion on the olympics isn't as bad as blowing $50 billion on a war.

so what can make me smile today? this, Snake-handling preacher dies from rattlesnake bite in West Virginia my theory is his wife switched snakes when he wasn't looking.

i love you sons of bitches!

christians

the position of monarch, king or queen, is currently vacant at enjoy the moment. anyone interested in the position should forward their c.v. to me by 16:00 PST, Jan 20. the workload is very light and remuneration will based upon the winner's ability to fleece the flock.

what have i learned these past few days whilst agonizing over the decision to re-staff the position?

"If you take a dog in, feed it, keep it warm, and take care of it, it will not bite you. This is the principal difference between dog and man."

now for the important stuff. it seems the CHRISTIANS ARE HUNGRY IN BANGUI. there doesn't seem to be a lot of publicity on this little adventure in the western press. the question i have to ask myself is; what would happen if a muslim ate a christian? i suspect we'd hear a lot more about it and some of the more entrepreneurial christian leaders would quickly begin fundraising to combat the problem. christians eating muslims, if that isn't nice, what is?

another lovely song i heard on cbc music and possibly a contender for the year end awards.

day 3 without an apology

i love you sons of bitches.

another one bites the dust

i've been asked to vacate another office at the cracker factory! if it wasn't so funny it'd be sad. this time the person moving into my office already has a really nice office so now she's going to have 2 offices! a regular yertle the turtle of the cracker factory. oh well, so it goes. revenge is a dish best served cold.

i'm quite looking forward to the football games this weekend. in my opinion, this should be the best weekend of the season for football. four excellent games and the nfl hype machine hasn't yet kicked into high gear. for years i bashed the seahawks, always calling them the shithawks and taking every opportunity to insult paul allen. he's the prick who owns ticket master. i might dislike ticket master more than i dislike cops. but back to the seahawks. when pete carrol became the head coach, i became a fan of the team. the guy is incredible, in his sixties but has the energy of a 30 year old and always seems to be boosting his player's morale. shit, if he was my boss i might even show up on time and not leave early. good thing he's not my boss.

here's the latest gimmick, cbc music. rather than a youtube video click on THIS FECKING BEAUTY and experience the canadian broadcasting corporation in all it's gory!

i love you sons of bitches!

king's challenge

the king has been a little under the weather lately so i don't if he's up to the challenge but he's the fucking king and the king has a duty to his subjects.

alright king, try and match all the techniques below:

king's challenge, this might be a great gimmick. i'd hate to be a schmuck with only one gimmick. i've smoked zero bowls so far today.

who would have though THIS WARMONGER would outlive phil everly?

i love you sons of bitches.