i've made no effort to hide my disdain for the iconic canada goose. in fact i hate the fucking things. a few days ago the roo and i were in the park and a pair of canada geese with a string of goslings approached us with bad intentions. they were hissing with wings out and seemed ready to attack. me and the roo held our ground and i was wondering if the roo could handle a pair of angry geese. in her younger days it would have been a piece of cake but now that she's old and crippled i had my doubts. i was ready to step in and kick those sons of bitches to hell and back when a middle aged rubenesque woman came in to sing the praises of the geese. the bitch was talking down to me and i was too busy watching the roo to fully engage her. but i did tell ruby not to listen to the dumb fat cunt. of course the dumb fat cunt heard me and walked away.
now this comes to light. a FEMALE CYCLIST WAS ATTACKED BY GEESE. the article doesn't give full details but i'm sure her injuries occurred as a result of falling off the bike. she claims to have slowed down and given the geese the right of way. i've encountered lots of geese while riding my bike and i always ride right through those assholes and send them on their merry way. it's the law of the jungle and the alpha male wins. the only down side is all the fucking goose shit i get on my tires. have i ever mentioned that i hate geese?
i've been on the hunt for a lamp for the newly painted "nest" for the last week or so and drew a little criticism from my depressed buddy for making such a big deal out of buying a lamp. i'm happy to say the search is over and i didn't just come up with a lamp, i found the holy fucking lamp!
i love you sons of bitches, now let's go kick the shit out of some fucking geese.
33 comments:
The must be something to spray on those geese to give them a healthy fear of humans (and their dogs). That lampshade reminds me of the hats they used to wear in China. Nice colourful pattern, but I don't see what's holy about it.
I like the lamp, looks great.
An error occurred while trying to watch the video, probably caused by those stinking geese!
gb - the shade has a turned up edge similar to a turtle's shell. if that ain't holy, what is?
tex - ruby could have used bob's help with those nogoodnik geese. the thing i like about the lamp is the 3 chains to turn the lights on and off. i like chains better than the twist knobs.
Billy, I thought that you were a wildlife supporter and environmentalist, my friend. Canada geese are beautiful dogs, what's your problem with them?
TYAYIWYAHAPSN!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
A Canada Geese Supporter...
Billy, nice lamp, mate, and the 'nest' looks pretty neat too - similar to our bathroom! :-P
TYAYIWYAHAPSN!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
The Genie...
Ah, lost some of your gold, mate. Go watch Shindler's List to cheer yourself up! :-(
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Oscar...
No love seat?
Fuck, I've outlived Bobby Womack and Smokey Bear.
Well, Smoky Bear is still alive so now it is a contest.
farmer - geese are a big part of global warming with all that shit and methane they produce.
shindler's list? no romans, no egyptians, no nazis and no spaceships. i'd never watch a piece shit movie like that. talk to bill, he likes romantic comedies.
bill - who in the fuck is bobby womack?
Nice lamp, BP. And glad to see you got part of the Germany-Ghana match in the picture. That was one heckuva second half. Really glad Ghana didn't pull one out against Portugal. Fuck the geese and beat Belgium will be my mantras for the coming week. Take care buddy.
Is there anthropogenic global warming? I don't know and I don't fucking care. What I do know is that the combustion of ever-increasing quantities of Fossil Fuels - oil, gas and coal - generates tonnes of killer air pollution. The kind of air pollution that causes much respiratory distress among those who out of insipid ignorance insist on engaging in respiratory gas-exchange leading to the oxidative phosphorylation necessary to generate their precious ATP - the fucking bourgeois organic-chemistry-lovin'-cunts. As a wily psychopath, I am quite pleased with this air pollution thing.
Is it an encumbrance? No it is not!
It is a weapon!
It is not unreasonable for me to believe that my singular use of fossil fuels over the years I've been resident in The Canadas, the use for much of which was for no good reason, has contributed directly to the premature deaths of several people; and I imagine them to be all white people too.
I'm a murderer!
Mea fucking culpa! Of course, many would argue it is only involuntary manslaughter, not murder.
Fair enough, but I would remind these Libruls I have malice of intent, mens rea, there are no mitigating factors and there was a fuck of a lot of pre-planning involved; It's depraved-heart murder, and no mistake. I am no different than that Dzhokhar character from the Boston Marathon bombing - my method just takes a lot longer to wreak its intended havoc.
Well, I'm such a killer
I got lyric fillers
And I'm hated everywhere I go...(Sounds like me)
I waste a lot of oil and I waste a lot of gas
At ten thousand gallons a go...(Right)
I take all kinds of pills that give me all kind of thrills
But the thrill I've never known
Is the thrill that'll gitcha when you get your pitcha
On the cover of the Rollin' Stone.
Debbie Harry said on the 'Glasto' stage the other night, "I can’t control myself".
Well darling, you are 68 now. So it’s only natural……..
Once I had control and it was a gas
Soon turned out had bladder of glass(radio)
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass(album)
Seemed like a one-off, only to find
Incontinent, nappies behind
Where's the cunt?
I hoped that discussion of feather facilitated flower fucking would draw out the cuddly one...
The cunt is postpartum, I reckon, but you'd never know that from her Spartan bog.
Aqua, me dear, good to see you back. Please don't knock Debbie Harry & Blondie, sweetheart, they've influenced more scribes like your good self than you'll ever known.
Billy, sorry, mate, but your Canada Geese obscenity doesn't wash with me, mate. What about cows and all you cunts who drive cars and fuck-up the planet with your over-indulgent unnecessaries, my friend. Sorry, just leave the Canada Geese alone. mate. Apologies about the Shindler's List bitch-slap - I was lancing the boil on me arse when I wrote that. Plus I'm not getting any at the minute! :-P Again, buddy, sorry!
TYAYIWYAHAPD!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
PS Aqua, as I'd normally say to the 'Lovely Leslie', "Fancy a Bit Of This?" :-P
Welcome home, babes! :-P
Ciao!
Billy, mate, I still love you in a very manly way, matey - I guess in what you could only describe as a Die Hard meets Leathal Weapon kinda manner. So, please don't file for divorce over the Canada Geese bitch slap! :-P
TYAYIWYAHAPD!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
PS Your heart may be breaking and your arse may be yearning, but it'll sort itself out! :-P
Romeo...
mr shife - thank you for your support but i was devastated when ghana lost to portugal and i was crestfallen when ghana lost to the united states. the black stars will shine in 2018.
aquarian - excellent to see you back. the king has been running amok since you last graced us with your wit. he's driven harry into seclusion and hurt my feelings more times than i can count.
thims - no it wasn't the feather that brought the aquarian back and it wasn't even the holy fucking lamp that brought her back.
it was jay and silent bob that caught her attention and lured her out of seclusion. no woman alive is immune to the silver tongued jay.
It seems that not even crass insults are sufficient to get Leslie to share with the class.
Is this when I'm supposed to pretend to give a shit?
Yes.
I urge you to go to Leslie's blog and ask her to forgive you and become your fast friend.
You can succeed where Jay, BP and I failed.
Pfft....
i'm sure harry could persuade leslie to grace us with her presence but until the king makes things right with harry, it's a no go.
You are as full of shit as those geese.
I love the lamp and holy shit it looks very similar to a lamp I got for free...the guys new girlfriend didn't want it because it was the dead wife's. He brought it to Bruce said I might want it. It is absolutely beautiful the stain glass. I hate geese to. Their shit is the worst... :)
FREE!! i paid a million times more than that!
Billy, you bought that 'cheap' lamp' on Ebay, mate. I've just spotted the dealer who's got another 50+ to sell. Reggie and I didn't get were _we_ are today by not spotting and buying ornamental 'mutton dressed as lamb' to increase our social standing in this world! :-P
TYAYIWYAHAPSN!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
I have a dream, "Harry and The King kiss and make-up, the world becomes a better place, Blogger becomes a better place, ALT-F returns, and we all listen, learn and gain something from her energy!"
ALT-F, if you're reading this, then all they were saying, "Is Give Peace a Chance!"
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
no way, i'm still pissed at ebay for selling me the defective bogus deadwood discs.
Billy, mate, OK, I'll believe you, but perhaps 1,000's wouldn't! :-P
TYAYIWYAHAPSN!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
ok, i'll bite.
what does TYAYIWYAHAPSN stand for?
It didn't occur to me to ask what TYAYIWYAHAPSN means when I didn't give a fuck in the first place.
Geese. Yep. They can be nasty buggers. We had an island in Dumb Potter's Hell that was often rented for weddings. The geese loved the place. But the brides always got upset when they saw that their trains were stained green with goose poop.
Love the lamp! Love Jay and Silent Bob too. And that tomato fight is the best food fight ever!
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