motherfucking snakes!

some stories seem to be just too good to be true and THIS IS CERTAINLY ONE OF THEM! in this age of electronic gizmos and cell phones it seems a shame that no one was able to make a video of the incident. who knew a snake that's been dead for 20 minutes could still kill the prick who killed it!

a few posts ago i was raving about the fabulous x files episode titled "the unnatural". after watching several great episodes i must say that i was slightly disappointed in the episodes titled "biogenisis / the sixth extinction." what should have been a totally excellent story was ruined by the way it was wrapped up in a few minutes. it had some great moments and the premise behind the story was very strong but the ending let me down. luckily in the age of wikipedia i was able to read a few synopses (i had to look up that plural) to connect the dots. i was thinking, shit i must have been too medicated and missed some important aspects of the plot but no, i was lucid and the plot had more holes than swiss cheese at the end. there were some excellent scenes with mulder in christ-like positions of crucifixion. i had planned on watching all of season 7 but it might be time to give it a rest.

i love you sons of bitches.

bic lighters

have i ever mentioned how much i hate the bic lighter child proof ring? last night i decided to get a new lighter ready for action and of course this meant removing the child resistant metal band. in the past i've had difficulty with this so i first went to you tube for directions. i watched a few of them just to make sure i was on the right track and sure enough, i fucked up the first lighter i tried to activate. there was one more left in the package so it took a lot of courage to try and remove the ring on the last little soldier. it took several tries but i was able to do it. lucky me. out of the package of 6 lighters, i'll bet i fucked up 3 of them. i made a vow last night to never again buy a bic lighter. (or swallow my pride and get sonny to deal with the safety ring.) how pathetic is that, asking your kid to deal with a child safety device.

on the plus side, i repaired a toilet. a certain member of our household broke the flush lever so it was off the hardware store. there was a large assortment of flush levers and i opted for the more expensive model with a chrome handle and metal bar thinking i'd win the respect of everyone involved but the son of a bitch wasn't a snug fit in the tank hole so i had to drive back to hardware store and exchange it. the dumb fuck who had the house before us had a crappy string attaching the old lever to valve on the bottom of the tank so i also bought a chain. after several adjustments to get the chain the proper length, the dirty job was done. a new flush lever; if that isn't nice, what is?

i love you sons of bitches.

the future or a case for mulder and scully

i was all set to drone on and on about riots, looting, dead negroes, dead palestinians (tunnel dwelling ferrets), dead comedians or benevolent corporations when a story about BIRDS SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTING caught my eye. this seems to be right out of the x files and as even a casual reader can tell you, i want to believe.

Ivanpah’s Land Footprint is a real cool article giving a cursory look at the promising future of solar energy and the potential side effects such as birds flaming out in mid air. it made me smile when i read that the solar energy boys spent $56,000,000.00 relocating desert tortoises. i wouldn't expect anything less from the google boys. when google decides to do something, they do it right!

we humans seem to be at our best when the pressure is on. or to put it another way, we do fuck all until the crisis hits. the herd may get culled and the passengers on the bus may get kicked off but in the long run we'll be just fine despite the fact that most of us are fucking morons without a fucking clue how to separate the wheat from the chaff. if you don't believe me, go to facebook and observe all the lemmings tossing their privacy off a cliff. half the people on facebook will curse obama for incinerating the birds while the other half will credit obama for inventing solar power and saving the planet.

in summation: solar power good, relocating tortoises good, facebook bad. as for humans, we'll survive in spite of ourselves.

i love you sons of bitches.

technology

our internet connection went on the fritz last week and panic quickly set in. the techie on the phone said we needed a personal visit but they were backed up so it wouldn't be until the following monday, today! a few hours after calling technical support things started working so i forgot all about the personal visit. well, the service technician showed up today and installed lots of new crap. i really didn't want the new crap but was told i needed it and i really should go for a total re-wire. somehow or other i ended up with 2 new passwords to remember. fuck me, life can get difficult.

on the positive side of the equation, i had a moment of true bliss a few nights ago whilst watching the x files. as any x files fan will tell you, all x files episodes are not created equal. let me heartily recommend THE UNNATURAL, season 6, episode 19. it's all about baseball and aliens and if that isn't nice, what is? there's some great music and it's set in the 1940's so there's also a nice nostalgic feel to it. i'll be watching it again real soon.

i couldn't find a good clip of the episode but here's a song from the episode and the black guy is an alien baseball player.

i love you sons of bitches.

the crop

i'm very pleased to announce that i now have more goddamned tomatoes than i can count. and i'm sure any of the little buggers that decide to come out of their beautiful little yellow flowers at this late date will not have enough time to ripen and find their way into one of the delicious burgers i will soon be able to eat. my happiest moment of the summer might well have been the morning when i spotted my first tomato.

the old camera is still dead. in the name of science, i drop it on the carpet every morning from a height of 1 inch higher than the previous day so in case i have similar problem, i'll know the exact height from which to drop the son of a bitch. so far i'm up to 31 inches. a lovely lady i know took pity on me and gave me her old sony camera. the old broken camera was very simple to use, just plop it into the docking bay and click on an icon or two and that was it. now i have to drag out some fucking cables and click on several icons. i was offered an old iphone to use as a camera but i turned it down. it looked too complicated.

it's been super hot here for the past week or so but it's a little cooler today. it seems like just yesterday that winter was ending and i was happier than a pig in shit when i saw the first daffodils popping up from the dirt. now all the summer flowers have more days behind them than in front of them. just like me. so it goes.

i love you sons of bitches.