a certain female relative of mine likes to call me and drone on and on about all her problems and how the big bad world is so mean and unjust to her. this has been going on for years and i've been a real trooper listening to all the bullshit and pretending to care. i've often told the missus that if "l" calls, tell her i'm not home. last week "l" got me on the phone and proceeded to drone on and on... after about 45 minutes i said goodbye and hung up without waiting for a response. well jesus fuck me christ, she went nuts and jumped in her car to come and confront me. she was in an extremely foul mood when i opened the door and one thing led to another and before and you knew it, we were screaming at each other. she hurled every personal insult imaginable at me and every time i responded by calling her a stupid fucking cunt, go fuck yourself, you stupid bitter old bitch.....etc etc. on the one hand i absorbed some very personal insults which caused me to reflect on my shortcomings for about a day but on the other hand, i'm pretty sure no one has ever swore at her in the way i did.
the more i thought about it, the more righteous i became in my mind. i've been wanting to tell her to fuck off for years and i'm sure she's been bitter towards me for years. i'll be happy to never see or hear from her again but i'm sure our paths will cross at family gatherings which is fine with me. i'll propose we change roles, i'll hurl the personal insults and she can respond by telling me to go fuck myself etc.
as a token of my appreciation for reading my tale of woe and giving me your unconditional positive regard i have a tv series to recommend. "the kingdom" out of denmark. it's about a hospital full of eccentric doctors and a crazy old spiritual patient. it's in danish with english subtitles but it's so good you won't even realize it's in a foreign language as you immerse yourself in the scandinavian humor.
i love you sons of bitches.
19 comments:
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when did you learn russian computer code?
It would have been funnier if you'd refused to open your front door and mooned at her from a window. Maybe next time...
I love the opening song for the Danish tv show. It sounds like a bunch of hairy Vikings singing in their longboat.
the swede thinks the danes are scum. discord amongst the wikings.
I think we're all scum, just layered. :-)
Geez, came here via Kelly's Psycho-Carnival blog. Hot damn... maybe this is really good. Okay, I'll visit again!
BTW, I would have hung up the phone; yelled at the bitch, and slammed the door, too.
Dave drinks too damn much pop in the bar, it ate a hole in his gut and he's been in intensive care for over a week. If you are going to kill yourself you may as well do it with booze.
But he looked pretty good this evening, he should, they gave him enough new blood to do an oil change.
I see you also have family trouble. My son is getting married Saturday and there a few of my family members I rather not deal with.
I found out if someone always complaining ask them if there any thing that can be done.
Usual they'll say no and it will shut them up for a bit.
Coffee is on
dixie - welcome to monkey house. you can practice slamming the door and swearing at bbc. he likes it.
bbc - dave sounds like a genius. speaking of geniuses, how are rick and time doing?
dora - congratulations on your son getting married. someone really ought to do something about crazy family members. they're awfully hard to shed.
Rick is doing fine, for Rick, he gets to do his jail time here on a weekend. I forget how long he lost his licence for, three months, three years. But that won't stop him from driving.
weekends in jail, if that isn't nice, what is?
And just one weekend, he talked them down from 30 days.
This is a monkey house(?); I hate to be clueless.
Does BBC have a blog?
^
This should end well.
Any tomatoes left on your plants?
dixie - bbc is known as "the king" around here. his blog is by invitation only but don't worry about that, he likes the ladies.
leslie - things always end well for me, jesus has my back.
I'm not seeking new followers at this time, maybe when I return from Texas.
I was referring to the lady wanting to read BBC's blog.
She should run for her life.
Half of my followers are women I get along well with, Leslie wouldn't make a pimple on their asses.
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