i ran across this photo in the christian science monitor daily photos. for some funny reason i love that publication, must be the latent christian in me. but back to the photo:
Image 5 / 18 : Resident Chris Roland walks his pet turtles Cindy and Kuka up Madison Avenue in the Upper East Side of the Manhattan borough of New York. Roland has had the turtles for years and walks them daily he said.
at first i thought, what a nice guy. but after thinking about it i thought, what a prick. if he wants to take his turtles for a walk, why not take them to the park so they can walk on the nice cool grass or maybe take a dip in the lake. in addition to the sidewalk being very hot in the summer and very cold in the winter, the birds are shitting on it and the nine irons are spitting on it. i'm sure those turtles are real chick magnets and i'm not trying to be funny. i'll bet a day doesn't go by that some lovely young lady doesn't ask him about his gorgeous turtles. great gimmick.
summer's almost over and the kids around our neck of the woods are getting an extra long holiday. the teachers are OUT ON STRIKE! this thing started last spring so the kids got an early start on summer holidays and now they're getting a extra break at the end of the summer. lucky them. i don't know the exact figures but it seems half the general population love the teachers while the other half of the population think they're a bunch of over paid slackers. the only thing i know is i wouldn't want to be a teacher for all the tea in china. half the kids can't speak english for sour apples due to immigration, they've integrated "special needs children" into the classroom and every single fucking parent thinks their kid is special. so it goes.
i love you sons of bitches.
42 comments:
Our kids never get a break...
Atticus was complaining about it at the beach.
The complaint department is on the fourth floor, kid. I'm working too.
I sense you don't admire your new countrymen up there in Canukistan. Better to just get used to it... until WW III happens and you get to peddle those coins of yours.
don't become a teacher-- from a teacher.
Summer may be ending but it was pretty damn warm here today. Maybe the most important thing I learned in school was how to type.
One thing about walking a turtle: It takes a lot of patience. But I agree about the pavement as a turtle-walking surface. Not ideal. But they are heroes in a half shell, and they have turtle power. So I'm sure they'll manage.
I do appreciate that he has something that looks humane for a leash. I've seen people drill holes in their shells and tie twine to them. =:[
I hope he has a wadding pool at home for them. I tend to think of turtles as wild things that are best left in the wild to enjoy from a distance.
What in the fuck makes you think god made turtles? Nature can make a turtle, or a monkey, without any fucking god.
We watched a video on YouTube today that featured funny dogs and there was a dog riding a turtle so Kyle informed me that we needed to find a turtle he could ride. Love that kid. Have a good one BP.
If I were a turtle, I wouldn't enjoy some human pulling me around on a lead. I'd prefer living in a turtle sanctuary where at least there was a chance of getting laid. Teaching is a job for retired soldiers.
thims - come to canada, it's all one big break. the oil sands pay for everything. (your president call calls it the "tar sands")
bob - that's what all my teacher relatives tell me.
bill - i'm trying to think of the most important thing i learned in school but it just won't come.
kenneth - heroes in a half shell, kilgore trout couldn't have said it any better.
silly - he must have a decent sized aquarium and feed them well from the looks of them. red wigglers and goldfish for all!
mr shife - you better hop aboard a giant snapping turtle to show kyle how it's done.
gb - i'm with you 100%.
And the turtles, of course... all the turtles are free
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.
You going to buy some hemp seeds? If you do let me know how much they cost.
Jenny, she lives in Canada, said that she has been eating hemp seeds for a long time, also hemp hearts, whatever in the hell they are.
I haven't seen anyone taking there turtle for a walk. I guess one doesn't need to be a hurry.
Coffee is on
Once had a gf that would tie a string around my dick and walk her 'dog'. :-)
Jenny is going to send me some hemp seeds and hearts, isn't she a doll? All Leslie ever sent me was poodle shit.
dora - my old dog probably walks slower than a turtle these days. luckily i'm rarely in a hurry these days.
king - leslie sent you poodle shit? that sounds like terrorism to me!
That shit had rat poison in it, made my dick lazy for a whole fucking week.
I've often heard teachers called "Glorified Babysitters" I think a Babysitter with a college degree in education could easily get $10 an hour.
$10x7hours=$70 and with an average class size of around 30. $70x30=$2100 a day.
I bet most teachers would love to be paid like a
"Glorified Babysitter" and they should.
Everyone should be subject to compulsory school at military academies from the first day of the season after their third birthday.
Parents should be allowed an hour a day visitation, and the entire weekend, schedule permitting.
Every child will pass minimum standards or all children will be punished. That will maximize internal enforcement of behavioural norms by peer pressure.
That is clearly what is best for our nation, and for the world!
Ya know, I have always felt that boot camp was good for me, you learn a lot in one.
Scott's boy just funked out of Coast Guard boot camp, but he is an idiot.
tex - excellent math skills. you can be the mathematics babysitter.
thims - how long do the little angels have to stay i boot camp? it didn't do a lot for a.j. soprano.
king - yes, the canadian coast guard turned me into the magnificent specimen you see today.
Until they are KIA, obviously. War is the health of the state.
I guess you could say that war is our national pastime, shit, it's bigger than football.
Have you read Wool yet? i just started the prequel, shift.
Thim's doesn't have much time for reading, he is busy making a living and raising the next generation of cannon fodder.
maybe he's an audio book kind of guy.
Maybe, but I've never gotten into them, I like the feel of a book and its pages.
Because you can't afford toilet paper?
Toilet paper is cheap, bitch. I just like the warmth of a book, or a nice tit.
Excellent, as Mathematics Babysitter, I will immediately adopt thimscool's well thought out and very effective rules.
Everyone should be subject to compulsory school at military academies from the first day of the season after their third birthday.
Parents should be allowed an hour a day visitation, and the entire weekend, schedule permitting.
Every child will pass minimum standards or all children will be punished. That will maximize internal enforcement of behavioural norms by peer pressure.
That is clearly what is best for our nation, and for the world!
Agreed!
I'D BETTER WARN YOU...
tex - how about making it a maximum of 5 minutes visitation for parents.
This fucking post has been on top for six days, are you trying for a tie with Frump?
Billy, sounds good to me, I'd just put thimscool in charge of all that.
I'd concentrate on getting rid of positive reinforcement for correct mathematical answers and put my efforts toward rewarding stupid financial decisions.
(Then I would try to get unsecured loans from them.)
For that you'd need to be a banker or hedge fund manager. Teachers will also serve until KIA.
Kids only need to learn enough to learn how to serve the one percent.
before sonny entered grade 1 i had permanently engraved the 7/10 law of mathematics into his brain. it has served him well.
So the one percenters pay Sonny pretty well? Women need better educations so they can make more and support us while we go fishing.
he does ok. he just got his p.eng. it takes 5 years work experience after graduating to be able to apply for the designation. now he can sign off.
to mark the occasion i bought him a 100 oz bar of silver and had it engraved like a business card.
Damn.
Thanks Dad-e-o!
I just got a Hawksbill for each of my kids, but one of 'em is still in diapers and my oldest is still losing teeth.
Maybe I can achieve your highfalutin ways if my new business plan works out.
How low will it go?
I bought my son a sleeping bag and a tent, I like to be practical.
i'd love to get a hawksbill but i don't have an olympic sized pool. you must be doing very well.
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