double headache
my favorite pair of sneakers are gone. a pair of blue suede adidas gazelles are history. the rip lived up to her name ripping out the tongue and the inner sole. they were, old comfortable and fashionably worn. i'll miss those old friends. of the course the rip was too busy flying around the yard and playing keep away with a few tennis balls to accept her verbal reprimand.
losing the shoes isn't the worst part of the incident. the worst part is being reminded every hour what an idiot i am and how many times i've been told not to leave my sneakers lying around. a more petty man would stick a few meatballs into her shoes and let the rip take it from there. this is day 10 in our relationship and i'm beginning to feel a little ripper fatigue. ripper goes insane when i leave the house and i've also had to cut back on my sweets. every time i grab a bag of candy or piece of cake you know who is demanding her share. she's sworn off dog food, instead preferring meat and potatoes. so far she's won the battle of wills. so it goes.
i love you sons of bitches.
18 comments:
you....are....so...fucked...hahahahahha.Rip rules..
What rot is this?
You should be able to leave a piece of cake on the coffee table until you get back and find it untouched!
It's because you don't beat her, silly. Goddamn Scandinavians always overcompensating for their cruel heritage...
Next you'll be calling in the dog-whisperer. You're kinda new to this homeschooling thing?
JS - yes, the rip has a lot more energy than me. thank christ i didn't get a pup.
thims - it's funny in that before we got rip from the shelter i filled out several applications for rescue pitbulls and one of the questions from the shelter and the rescue orgs was:
what would you do if the dog chews your shoes?
How about calling that Cesar Milan guy? If he can handle Eric Cartman, he can handle your unruly little lady.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx_lTgUSyB4
parenting revisited
Billy Pilgrim:
Sorry about your shoes. Mine typically wear out from the inside do to my feet being sweatier than hell most of the time (I leave wet footprints all over the place for a long time after taking off my shoes.).
I can understand RIP fatigue. We have had our current dog for two and a half years now (she WAS a puppy when we got her), and there were more than several times when I thought I had made a terrible mistake. For me, it was quite a while since we had a puppy, so I guess I forgot what a pain they can be. And, even if we humans are supposed to be the "master" in the relationship, it is inevitable that the dog reshapes a lot of your life, often in ways you did not necessairly want or anticipate. Now, after two and a half years, I like/love the dog 95% of the time, there are still occasional hours or days....
PipeTobacco
Stern proper training !!!!
gb - the lovely mrs myshkin watches cesar milan and none of his stuff has worked on me so i'm doubtful it'll work on the rip.
bob - dogs are way easier than kids.
pipe - my plan was to get a pup for my dad to play with but it all went to crap. but i'm very happy with rip.
king - the rip chewed my black loafers today. progressive discipline is now in place. i really loved those loafers. luckily the missus wasn't home and i'm not going to tell her.
What would I do if the dog chews my shoes? I'd make that dog eat the whole pair!
More seriously, speaking as an attachment parent, I support your enduring patience and good stewardship of the souls to which you're entrusted... but it doesn't hurt to get a little physical (playfully) to establish dominance... it doesn't require actual violence, but rather a demonstration of capability, and will. I know for certain that you have this ability. Have at it!
Wait, what am I talking about... weren't you a trader?
Back to work.
Alas - this is the big 'why' I don't have pets... not just a dog. I once had a gerbil that gave birth in a pair of my favorite red stilettos - yep - eight babies later and all that gunk!
thims - i did raise my voice to her and threaten to under cook her potatoes. plus i'm going to try and remember not to leave my shoes in harm's way.
dixie - a dog might have a few challenges but i'll soon have an excellent security system and a source of unconditional positive support.
Take half an english muffin, smear both sides with peanut butter, amuse yourself watching her try to get it down in one bite.
What color are you getting next?
Coffee is on
Sorry to hear about your shoes, BP. Hopefully Rip calms down for you sooner than later. Rescued doggies always have those growing pains. This will not make you feel any better but we have had Tanklin 5 years now and we are still going through them. Take care my friend.
Rip did you a favour, ya fucking fruit!. Those shoes are for the moronically shod among us. The Tutor wears Zamberlans - and nowt but. Any other footwear is superfluous.
Rip is the puppy's name? Meh, I like 'Bastard Face' for a dog name.
dora - i'd like another blue pair but can't find any.
mr shife - yeah, it will take a while. i'm just glad that i waited for good weather rather than doing this in january.
me cuddles - the name is ripper but her friends call her rip or jack. i was thinking of bastard face but it would be confusing since we already have someone called bastard face and it ain't me.
Billy Pilgrim:
I looked back through posts but may have missed the information.... do you know any of Rip's back story? I do not know how much information a person usually gets if they get a rescue dog. I would imagine it varies from case to case.
PipeTobacco
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