we've been in a drought all summer and if the weatherman is correct it's all going to come to an end tomorrow, heavy rain! last night panic set in, i hadn't cleaned the gutters all summer waiting for some cool weather because i didn't want to climb up on the roof in the hot sun. there was a tremendous amount of shit on the roof that i'm sure would have plugged the down pipes resulting in watering backing up the roof and spilling over the gutters. i took 3 plastic grocery bags with me but quickly realized that i'd need at least 5 bags. i was in a quandary since about the hardest part of the job is climbing down from the roof when the ladder is fully extended and very shaky. i decided to fill my 3 bags and toss the rest over the edge. adding to my stress was a certain dog whining and wanting to aid in the fun. she likes to follow me everywhere but she can't climb ladders for sour apples. i'm happy to report the dirty job is done.
in my drinking days the job would have been done long ago. how so you say? way back when i had this crazy sense of justice. if i did some chores, i could go out and get loaded with a clear conscience. i ended up getting a lot of stuff accomplished because being heavily into alcohol, i'd do almost anything to justify my evil ways. the good news was i got a lot of stuff done, the bad news is i usually had a hangover and of course spending time in bars costs a pretty penny.
here's the crazy part of my drinking, i always had a plan B in case things went wrong. it didn't matter how fucked up things got in my life i always had plan B to fall back on. my plan B was to quit drinking. quit drinking and the world would be my oyster. when i quit drinking, losing plan B was a problem. it was my crutch, how the fuck could i get depressed when there was always plan B to straighten things out. when i quit drinking plan B didn't really live up to my expectations. the problems didn't go away and i had no fucking plan B to fall back on. but at least the hangovers were gone and it's funny how much money you end up with in your wallet when alcohol is removed from the equation.
then one day i got a new plan B. fuck it, i could start drinking again. i still have a cupboard full of jack daniels and single malt. so plan B is within reach in case of emergency. so i got that going for me too, which is real nice.
i love you sons of bitches.
19 comments:
Plan B can be something else really good for you, like running a long race or giving up red meat? Just thinking out loud here.
Or go back to boozing! I'll come over and help you get that pesky liquor off your shelves!
Glad the rain came. When I was visiting the in-laws, I was careful to keep my showers quick so that they wouldn't get a fine. My father-in-law said that when he was on vacation, he was taking the longest most wonderful showers ever . . .
Cheers.
Hire some young man to clean them..
mr noisewater - unfortunately i already exercise like crazy and eat healthy. maybe i need to see a psychiatrist of hypnotist to get over my fear of hangovers.
king - hiring someone to clean my gutters would be akin to admitting that i'm old and feeble. but the thought did cross my mind that one of my lazy kids should have been doing the job.
The problem with your Plan B being your previous Plan A is that you may have a moment of lucidity and recognise it's barmy. How about smoking dope instead?
gb - well, if someone twisted my arm i might smoke a little pot. plan A and plan B are getting confusing. maybe i should work on a plan C.
holy christ, the rip just twisted my arm.
Maybe you remember an actor named George Peppard. He said: “You have problems, you think drink helps, then you have two problems.”
I cleaned my gutters yesterday. Since I have a hip roof, I have a lot of gutters, but at least the roof isn’t steep or high. Could it be that you need a taller ladder? I really wouldn't want you to fall.
i only climb onto the roof once or twice a year. the other times i just clean out the corners where the down pipes are.
maybe billy c cook could build one of those towers the romans pushed up to walls for their siege.
"how do you power the freezer?"
I swear, you must be losing your mind and can't remember what I post, I stated that I was getting a three way freezer, it will run on 110 ac or propane or 12 volts dc.
ok brainiac, which source are you using? 110 ac, propane or 12 dc?
Hey BP. So did the rains come? Looks like our summer is ending next week as we are going from highs in the upper 90s to the mid 70s. We could use some of that rain as most of the state has been on fire the last few weeks. Take care my friend and keep fighting the good fight.
yes, the rains came and they haven't left yet. we're almost the emerald city again.
thank you for your continued support mr shife.
Yay for drought ending rains.
Since I am no longer steady on my feet on the ground, ladders are a no-go area for me. And, which is insane, I know that - but still don't hire anyone else to do the gutters. So I stay on the ground and stress about the gutters.
elephant - welcome to the pond, the water is warm and there's plenty to eat. the rain came with a vengeance yesterday. it turns out that the rip, my faithful beast, absolutely hates the rain.
You could be real lazy like me and have "leaf guard" gutters installed (no plug intended). They do work. Haven't cleaned gutters here in years. Forget the ones with the screens they just plug up.
a noble suggestion but a knight errant must be prepared to climb a ladder to face any and all giants who have the temerity to seek refuge on his roof.
Geez, thinking about my roof scares the heck outta me. Good for you. Love the music video. Wow, your dog is so lovely.
I'm using propane, it works great but my plan to cool the camper with it didn't work worth a damn, my fault, set it up wrong.
While I was in a bank this morning some lowlife motherfucker swiped my notebook out of the back of my truck, I hate this planet sometimes, wasn't planning on getting a new one until I can get one with Windows 10 on it, buy one now and it will have 8.1 on it with a free upgrade but I don't wanna do the upgrade thing.
dixie - thanks, the rip appreciates your kind words and with the rain pouring down i'm like the cat that swallowed the canary thinking about my clean gutters.
king - bummer about the notebook. you should come back to the great northwest where crime and theft are unheard of.
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