today is the day i dreamed of and looked forward to for many, many years. today is the day that i planned on attaining or reaching nirvana.
it didn't happen. if i had a nickel for every time that little son of bitch buddha let me down, i could probably buy a pair of cheap sneakers. but i don't have a pocketful of nickels and nirvana is right up there with self-actualization as far as possibilities and probabilities go. it's like the proverbial carrot at the end of the stick. i need a shorter stick and a longer carrot.
yes, today is the day i am officially RETIRED! if that isn't nice, what is?
i dreamed of this day in my youth because i thought it would be party time. not having to get up in the morning and drag myself to the cracker factory meant i could party like it was 1999 every goddamned night. but a funny thing happened on my way to the forum, i got old and partying lost it's luster. partying actually lost it's luster years and years ago but so it goes. live and learn. i don't play golf, i don't play bridge, i don't fish.... what in the hell am i supposed to do? note to self; you're retired, you don't have to do anything! i've been practicing doing nothing for years so i'm very well prepared for retirement.
i'll mark the first day of my retirement by declaring my woeful countenance has been returned to the bottom right drawer of the old oak principal's desk where i waste too much time. the pilgrim is free to visit tralfamadore at a moment's notice. montana wildhack, here i come.
the moral to this story? enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. or how about just plain old enjoy the moment.
my swan song to the cracker factory:
i love you sons of bitches
27 comments:
You should be able to find some hobby you enjoy, hell catch bee's and put them in a jar, they die and you don't even have to feed them.
Buddhism is a weird religion.
i have one goal. to never buy another piece of clothing and wear out all the stuff in my closet and drawers. i'm 60 now and if live to 85, it might be doable.
Travel... To Texas, maybe.
Now you don't have to answer some asshole boss. Idaho isn't all that far from British Colombia.
One question or maybe it will lead into more....If you wait a little longer would you get more money on your retirement?
Coffee is on
come to West, if you hurry you can make Westfest.
Volunteer..old farts homes, VA hospitals...library..you can do it.
texas? the king is more resourceful than me and he's finding it a challenge so i'm pretty sure i couldn't pull it off.
dora - i'd make more money by staying longer but i'm not getting any younger and there's nothing i want to buy. a younger trophy wife would cost a fortune and she'd probably dump me in a few years.
i'm far busier now than when i was working 60 hours a week. but i'm working my schedule.
Did they have any kind of retiring ceremony at work? It would have been worth quitting a day early to avoid that. I hope your pension is adequate. My advice would be to travel to the near places frequently and the far places rarely.
I’ve spent most of my adult life either working at home—ON the home, the yard, etc.—or working away from home part time, so I never really had to retire. I’m now replacing a fence that involves digging up posts set in concrete (it’s a great job for a man in pain, but what am I supposed to do, lie down and wait to die?). Anyway, when people ask if I’m retired, I say I am because it’s easier than explaining that I’m doing the same things I’ve done for decades, only not so much.
Anyway, congratulations.
P.S. My wife stays almost busier since retiring (as a nurse) than she did working, because she’s active in her hobby of collecting clothing buttons, playing cards with two different groups, seeing friends, and spending time with me. Women tend to be that way, while men tend to isolate, drink, get fat, feel depressed and die. My best hope for you is that you stay busy. By the way, what did you retire from? You asked such good questions regarding my last post, that I sort of wondered where you got your medical knowledge.
I looked at your profile and saw that you were an accountant. I also noted that you don’t have any Westerns among your movie interests, whereas all of my favorites would be Westerns. As for reading, our tastes are different there too. Viva la difference!
If you decide to travel any in retirement, you would be welcome to visit.
gb - no ceremony. the cracker factory has been downsized to the point where it may soon no longer exist. the concept of "virtual desks" has meant most of he workload has been moved to areas with lower expenses. as for my pension, i haven't dealt with it yet. maybe next week i'll get it together.
bob - wow, busier than 60 hours per week. i'll never reach that point.
snow - no westerns? DEADWOOD is my all time favorite series, better than any movie i've ever seen. i watch all 3 seasons every fall. this is either going to be my 8th or 9th year in a row. i didn't mention pat garret and billy the kid but it's one of my all time favorite movies. watching slim pickens give up the ghost with dylan singing knocking on heaven's door is in my opinion, the finest dramatic performance in the history of cinema.
i haven't been an official accountant for more than 30 years. i don't know if it was a mistake moving from a support function to operations but as satchel paige said, don't look back. but i've spent a few hours this morning reading news releases and arguing over income statements. i've never met an income statement or balance sheet i didn't like.
medical knowledge, i've had more injuries than i can count and i pay way more attention to what my doctors tell me than what my wife tells me.
I would have thought you would have linked to a video of The Doors "The End".
Especially the Apocalypse now version.
My Tutor has never met an Income Statement or Balance Sheet he didn't like. And he just loves him some Cash Flow Statements. The cunt has an MBA from U of T(oronto) - Accounting and Finance - and is a former P & G man.
i thought about the doors but i didn't think my international readership with their short span of attention could handle a 10 minute clip. research shows middle aged white males have an attention span of less than 20 seconds so the 12 second clip gave me a good margin of error.
in perfect world the pogues would have been serenading me as i made my exit.
Billy - I feel priviledged to included in your swan song. Yep, that's me, a bit daffy. It all began the day I roller skated in a buffalo herd... uh-huh. Congratulations. Go find yourself.
You wouldn't have any problem with a visit to Texas, your lifestyle is different than mine.
“i've had more injuries than i can count and i pay way more attention to what my doctors tell me than what my wife tells me.”
Most of my problems started as injuries. I head Oliver Sacks say that he was an idiot for being a weight-lifter because the body wasn’t meant for such extremes. I don’t listen a whole lot to my wife either because, although she was a nurse, she was a labor and delivery nurse. I sometimes tell her that I wish she had done something that would be of benefit in our current situation—geriatrics, for example.
As for Westerns, I Yuma, High Noon, Red River, The Gunfighter, One-Eyed Jacks, and Paint Your Wagon, come to mind.
dixie - thanks dixie. i don't have to worry about finding myself because the rip never lets me out of her sight so it's impossible for me to get lost. so i got that going for me too.
king - how do you avoid travelling with your wife? don't get a passport. until i get a passport, which i don't intend getting, i can't enter the usa. so i got that going for me too.
snow - i've recently watched cowboys and aliens, django unchained and the treasure of the sierra madre but they don't hold a candle to deadwood. if you haven't seen deadwood and aren't afraid of some cursing, i think you should make haste and bask in the genius of david milch.
P.S. I wrote Yuma, but I meant 3:10 to Yuma, the original version versus the remake. It's a rare day when a remake is as good as the original and a rarer day when a movie is as good as the book it was made from. Two other good Westerns are "The Shootist" (although it was a case in point of the book being far better) and Shane. I'll see if I can get Deadwood from the library.
Congrats, sir! We expect the blog production to go up in retirement!
Enjoy your retirement!
Ontario Health Minister Eric Hoskins wants to see 5,000 Syrian refugees resettled in Canada by the end of the year, he said today at a funding announcement in Toronto.
snow - i've seen those movies and i liked them, especially shane. did i name my son for for the movie or because the pogues might be my favorite band? i can't remember. how about lonsome dove?
kenneth - blog production will depend on my ability to come up with good topics and credible gimmicks. right now my topic and gimmick inventory is thinner than hospital soup.
king - god bless ontario. i hope all the refugees to canada settle in ontario. i tried to leave a comment on your award winning blog and was denied access. apparently i was left off your guest list.
Congrats, BP. Enjoy the freedom, my friend. Hope you enjoy doing whatever the hell you want to do because you know, you can.
I'll check into that.
Try commenting now,
“how about lonsome dove?”
I never got into it because I just didn’t find it that interesting. I’m not usually a “series person.”
As for refugees to Canada, I heard an interview on “As it Happens” yesterday by an immigration advocate who was demanding that 100,000 be taken into Canada alone. This certainly raises the question of when a country has an obligation to its own people to say no.
Hello, retirement is not as easy as one would think. All of us look forward to retirement when they reach middle age and start planning for it. They hope to be happy without responsibilities and live a life of comfort and joy.
From my experience, there is no retirement from life. We will be doing something or the other to keep us busy because a person who has been very busy all his life cannot rest for long.
Since you have planned your retirement well, money many not be a problem but idleness will be a problem which you to contend with.
Interesting post.
Best wishes
mr shife - yes we can! (what asshole had that for a catch phrase?)
king - all fixed. check your email.
snow - yes, there are a lot of people who make a pretty penny advocating for refugees and immigrants. when i was a kid there were maybe one or two asian kids in a class of 30 at school, now in vancouver there might be one or two white kids in a class of 30. so it goes, the universe is unfolding as it should.
joseph - welcome to the pond. the water is warm and there is plenty to eat. i have no problem being idle. my doctors have spent a lot of time training me on how to escape the "doing" mode and get into the "being" mode. i feel no guilt in just "enjoying the moment"
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