a more fitting title might be the not so dreamy machine.
i bought a sony dream machine clock radio several years ago to keep next to the tv so i could easily keep track of time and hopefully not miss any program i was planning to watch. it was kind of hate at first sight with the dream machine, i had to enter the time zone, year, date etc before i could get the son of bitch to operate. apparently this was so the infernal machine could adjust the time automatically in the spring and in the fall for daylight savings time. it seemed like a waste of time.
right off the bat it drove me nuts. it had a back up battery and the time was already set, but the clock was a few minutes off and no matter what i did the son of bitch bounced back to being a few minutes off. i decided to live with it and mentally subtract a few minutes. the first few times it did make the adjustment for daylight savings time but for the last few years nothing happened and i fritzed around with it to manually adjust the time. it was a massive exercise in frustration. then i gave up and lived with being an hour out of sync for 6 months of the year. ain't life wonderful
yesterday i said fuck it and decided to buy a new clock radio. there were a few at the store but they were in the box and i wasn't able to play around and see how easy it was to change the time so i made a mental note of the models and decided to look on line and see how easy they were to operate. as luck would have it i stumbled upon a you tube video that explained how to set the time on a dream machine and son of a bitch it worked! i had read all sorts of other shit on line telling me what to do but the video did the trick:
the trick is you have to set the fucking year, month and day before going to the clock setting. i guess things get lost translating the instructions from chinese to english. god bless google and you tube. have i ever mentioned how much i love google?
i love you sons of bitches.
32 comments:
Well it makes sense. How's a poor little clock going to know when it's daylight saving time if it doesn't know the date? On the other hand, it should have worked like an ordinary dumb little clock without the date. And if you have to look it up on google, the manufacturer is still a prick.
yes, the mfg is a prick and a half. don't they realize that most of us buying these things are technophobes?
When I bother to give a shit about the time and date I just look at my cell phone, it always has it right and I never have to change a thing.
Well, you should have a few of these in a box somewhere, in case the grid goes down and you want to be able to keep track of your distillation schedule. Throw an almanac or at least a sunrise/sunset calendar in there for some better calibration data. These mechanical models tend to wander a bit. As a side benefit, a room full of noisy mechanical alarms clocks ringing and chattering would be a hell of an opening move for an intervention, or perhaps a job interview.
Why not just get a quality clock that syncs with the NIST atomic clocks, or whatever y'all use in Chinada. Not too expensive to get a nice one, and it's always right on time... until the grid goes down. Failing that, step into the new millennium, get a smart phone, treat it like an alarm clock, and let the NSA watch and listen to anything you do. For fucks sake, man, it's not that complicated. Screw Sony.
My apologies, Pilgrim, I know you're delicate.
Don't get one what needs a battery, as those are shite! You are looking for wind up clocks. Mechanical. No electrics and no networks!
You should also have a quality manual coffee grinder... Note that you can save some money at other outlets, but this thing kicks ass for manually ground beans.
Do IT! Buy buy buy!
Hey the party is at Omar's. Well , it was until he got in an Omar Snit.
Also Thimscool? He called you a slut.
Given that I'm homeless is it really such a stretch?
king - and it vibrates in your pocket!
thims - if the grid goes down and tv's aren't working, who needs a fucking clock? i'm expecting a citizen watch in the mail any day that's supposed to sync with an atomic clock each night.
leslie - a party at omar's? i thought the lurker's AGM was next month.
Why are you without home Thimscool?
Did you mislay it? Rather careless of you.
My other voices command far too much bandwidth for me to even pretend to imagine that I could maintain a home here on the blogoshear.
So I flit from couch to couch, and try to avoid vomiting upon the upholstery. Pilgrim has a comfy couch here.
How are you? A man with many mansions.
Citizen, eh?
I'd like the ecodrive system better if they had chosen to implement an ultra-capacitor rather than a lithium battery. It's nice though.
But it won't survive an emp. I'm talking hand wind, man! You'll be begging for a clock to tick away your remaining time in the wasteland.
If things go to hell I'll be heading north the next day, Texas is no place to try to make it during hard times, nature favors those up north. I can grind coffee with my old fashioned grinders.
sterc - sorry to see young justin's left the tutor out of his cabinet. but as they say, ingratitude is the offspring of pride and humility never was a trudeau strong point.
thims - all these suggestions are wonderful but my favorite engineer has flown the coup and my favorite daughter doesn't suffer fools so i'm without technical support these days.
king - you were meant to be with the natural spirits and i think the great pacific northwest with it's magical forests and natural beauty is more spirit friendly.
You need tech support for a wind up clock?
I want a cabinet!
i want tech support for every thing. now that i'm retired, tech support is but a memory and i'm pretty much on my own.
i'll be in your cabinet, how about minister of immigration?
i love google.
Fine. We will make SR the minister of emigration! Omar can be the secret police.
sounds good, i'll bring in old stock and SR can encourage the new stock to leave.
you better find a strong mentor for omar.
If things go to hell and you can't get coffee beans for a while a grinder can still be used to make black powder.
I'm so glad for the happy ending. I too have sometimes been amazed by how much can be learned from You Tube.
king - if things go to hell, the lovely mrs myshkin will take charge. she'll be pretty fucking cranky, but she'll look after things.
snow - it's amazing how you tube has gone from nitwits uploading videos to one of the best info sources on the net. and those google maps are indispensable.
have i ever mentioned how much i love pink floyd?
i can't remember you mentioning pink floyd but coincidentally i put on some pink floyd last night to test the new set up and it was magical.
Good old Google. Where would we be without da Googs? Take care, BP, and glad you got your clock squared away.
Saucerful of Secrets?
thank you for your support mr shife. the clock is working well, in precisely 7 minutes the hockey game will start.
that's not many secrets thims.
Why would they make it so difficult? But clearly you weren't the only one having a problem if someone made a video to explain how to set it.
I'm disappointed because I thought that machine could make you dream about certain things, like some bow-chica-bow-bow 70's wah was pedal guitar could kick in and make you have sexy-time dreams. That would kick ass!
(email Terry sent me)
So, I was walking through the mall and I saw that there was a "Muslim Book Store."
I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore so I went in.
As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me.
I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims?"
The clerk said, "Fuck off, get out and stay out!"
I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?
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