thursday morning i stopped by the supermarket to pick up a few groceries. after picking up some healthy stuff in the bulk foods section i strolled down the candy aisle and noticed the cute little easter bunny jujubes. like an alcoholic finding a bottle of whiskey or a drug addict finding a packet of heroin i was unable to control myself and grabbed a few of the little darlings. i quickly started chewing them out of lust and wanting to swallow the evidence before being caught by an eagle-eyed store clerk.
while picking out some broccoli crowns i felt something come lose in my mouth. it took a second to figure it out but my worst nightmare had come true. the feckin jujubes had pulled off my gold crown. several months earlier i lost a chunk of a different tooth whilst eating hard stale halloween jujubes. after that little incident i vowed to give up jujubes. was it just a coincidence that my dental crown dislodged whilst shopping for broccoli crowns and chewing on pilfered jujubes? was god watching me?
a few hours later i was in the dental chair. my dentist kindly fit me into her busy schedule and thought she could just re-cement the crown and send me on my merry way. not having much time she asked if i could be brave and get the job quickly done without any freezing. wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible i said yes. being poked and scrubbed hurt but no big deal. then the hygenist started blasting away with the cold air and i almost jumped out of the chair. i thought all was going well until she noticed a slightly dark spot and upon further investigation she decided i had a cavity forming under the surface. the quick fix was over and i'm in line for some serious dental work.
she said it was going to be expensive and would have to get pre-approval from the insurance company before proceeding. it'll take 3 or 4 weeks for the approval and in the meantime my old crown has been re-attached. if i wasn't such a pansy i would have said go ahead and fix it and we'll worry about the insurance later but i'm happy to have about a month before the torture begins.
feckin jujubes!!!!!!!
i love you sons of bitches.
17 comments:
Well, there's no point shooting the messenger, those jujubes did you a favour. Who knows what that cavity would have become if it stayed hidden.
Don't feel like too much of a pansy, I make them give me nitrous before they do anything the least bit painful, or maybe I'm just a bigger pansy than you.
Synchronicity - I was playing a game today and named one thing "The Pansy"
and the other "The Nancy Boy".
I'm no pansy, but I do love N2O!
God is definitely watching you...
gb - yeah, the dentist told me the crown would have soon fallen off due to cavity festering below the surface. but i'd still like to show the messenger.
tex - maybe we should call in mulder to verify this synchronicity.
thimscool - if i see a lamb opening some seals in the backyard i'm heading for the hills.
I'm not going to sugar coat this..
your a pansy..
hahahaha
sorry, I couldn't resist.
bet you think twice before you eat another juju bee
Dude, I don't think you're a pansy in the least. And I can understand your "lust" for jujubes. I feel the same way about any kind of chocolate. Unfortunately, since I'm diabetic, I can't allow myself to eat much of it. I enjoyed the telling of your adventure but I can feel your pain. Going to the dentist is torture. The only time going to the dentist can have it's moments of pleasure is when they give you Nitrous Oxide. Then you're in wonderland, man. That stuff is the shit or the cat's meow or something dandy like that.
Loved the Roy Orbison video. Man, that dude can play the harmonica. Cool.
Take care, Billy. I wish you well.
ugh. i hate the dentist.
i'll hold your pansy hand long time.
<3
I cannot under emphasize how terror stricken I am of the dentist. Nerves in teeth is a monumental example of how evolution can go completely off sometimes.
yellowdog - i'm eating jujubes like crazy right now. i'll try and quit after the tooth gets fixed.
kelly - thanks for your support. at this very moment i'm eating some hershey's heart shaped chocolates that i picked up for a song after valentines day.
lakota - cabanan boy is willing and able!
robert - at least the pain is over quicker these days with the high speed drills. i don't know why they can't do something about the blasts of cold air. that's what kills me. the scaling is no picnic either.
I had a similar thing where part of a tooth broke off while eating a mento. I haven't been able to bring myself to eat one since.
Today is your lucky day! I just happen to perform low-cost, or in some instances, FREE dental care to my blogging buddies!! Why wait for your insurance company to get the ball rolling? I can get you in and out in a couple of minutes, and then you're back on the road to your Ju-Ju-Be dental decaying fun! I just need to find my vice grips and my hammer..hold on...OKAY! What time is good for you?
secret - get back on that horse! mento's are good.
static - do you have some good single malt scotch for the pain?
Shoot, I can eat all of them I want. Oh, wait, I don't have any teeth to fuck up, hehehehe
I'm with BBC except I don't like any kind of gummy candies. I had 28 teeth pulled in less than an hour before I got my plastic choppers and was at work 48 hours later taking no pain killers. Job was to physical to be doing it stoned.I just ate about 50 Easter colored M&M's that Rose got for $1 a bag on the way back from Florida. Had cute little bunnies and peeps printed on them. Sugar rush.
Talk about instant karma! Yikes.
I did a similar thing with salt water taffy. Tooth pain is nothing to laugh at. Cold air on an exposed nerve is like electric shock therapy.
Maybe it will cure the jujube addiction.
billy - i happen to eating some jujubes right now and after easter when they get marked down i'm going to buy a shit load of them.
mr wit - i almost like m&m's as much as reeses pieces.
ananda - the first thing the dentist said to me was; "were you eating toffee this time?"
nope, jujubes again.
Boy was I ever in that heroine moment with you. I would have quick started, too. When will we ever learn?
(And I don't get why our dentists aren't yet using laser techniques! I hate the sound, and smell, of that drill)
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