i hit the jackpot on empty beer bottles and cans last weekend. a kindly older gentleman gave me 2 garbage bags full of dirty stinky empties. when I opened the bag the stink almost knocked me over and most of the cans had mold on them. the government liquor store gives the full 10 cent refund on empties but they are incredibly picky. if they see any mold or empty cigarette butts in the cans they will usually reject the whole lot so I decided to take them to the recycling depot. the depot only pays 8 cents for domestic bottles and all cans but gives the full 10 cents for imported bottles. they pay $1.00 for a dozen empty cans. a 4 cent bonus. Whoopee. the best part is they don’t care if the cans are covered in dog shit, they take everything.
after sorting my load I headed to the counter and was met by a nice middle aged Chinese lady. she processed my junk quite quickly but didn’t give me the rate of $1.00 for each dozen empty cans. i pointed this out to her but we seemed to have a hard time communicating. each time I said 1 dozen cans she pulled out a pocket calculator and showed me that 12 X 8 = 96 cents. No matter what I said, she entered 12 X 8 and proudly showed me the answer of 96. there was a big sign behind her that said $1.00 for a dozen. i decided against looking for the manager to get my extra 4 cents per dozen and pocketed the $12.50 she handed me. The total actually came to $12.49 but she rounded up to $12.50 so I got that going for me too. Which is nice.
the $12.50 went straight into my kraft raspberry jam jar. the total sits at around $115.00 at the moment. i’m thinking of buying a new computer once the jar gets full.
i love you sons of bitches!
20 comments:
After a day of high octane national budget debate, I'm so grateful for micro-financing and the philosophy of The Dude! My sense of humor thanks you.
The Chinawoman was the issue in your case, but you were better off with her than 'the Jesus'. Do you have anything against banks?
I have two big 30 gallon size bags of nothing but empty beer cans. If you come over Wednesday, at 2:37 in the afternoon, I will put the cans out front and you can pick them up. Watch out for the rabid bulldog! No charge for the pick up. They're yours- absolutely for free.
because I care.
lol.
nance - i never run a deficit with the can operation and only earmark toys.
gb - i never met a bank stock that i didn't like.
kelly - shit, i'm watching judge judy from 2:00 to 2:30!
Here in Oklahoma we get nothing for empty beer bottles and only what aluminum is going for per pound for cans.
And we wonder why there are empty beer bottles all over the place.
Next time, I'd MAKE SURE the cans have dog shit on them !
I can believe she processed your junk quite quickly. =)
tex - you should start collecting all the cans. sooner or later they'll be worth something.
heff - interesting idea. i have a backyard full of easter eggs from ruby so yes, it can be very easily done. we'll take all the cans down to highway sixty one.
mr shife - i did walk out with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.
Here we have the machines where you have to process your own cans. Needless to say, as we empty a can, we rinse it and let it dry upside down before putting it in the can bag.
I used to work at a market back when we had to count the cans for folk. I think vomit was the worst thing in a can bag that I found. At least the slugs didn't bother me.
We have machines at our local store where you feed the bottles/cans in one at a time. It is the grocery industry's way to punish us for voting in a bottle bill.
Oregon here was the first, by the way.
I just put mine in the recycling bin, because I'm lay. But I do get points based on weight of recylcables.
ananda and robert - one of our supermarkets put in a can machine. it lasted a few months before they had to remove it due to customer complaints. i kicked it more times than i can remember.
secret - i love people that put beer cans in their recycling box ;)
every thing when blank after I read 'raspberry jam'...fecking love it.save up your money and come to west, texas..
Bottles are worth nothing here, cans are worth about 30 cents a pound and it takes about 23 cans to make a pound so you are cleaning up compared to me.
You son of a bitch, ;-)
Hell, put some of your own fecal matter on it, just so they have to handle YOUR shit!
yellowdog - west, texas sounds like a nice place to winter if i could only make it across the border.
billy - i'm doing ok with the can but i can't fix stuff for sour apples so you're still one step ahead of me.
bama - if they had my bodily fluids they could cast an evil spell on me and i wouldn't want that.
Keep collecting, Billy, you may be able to get your doctorate from doing so--see the article linked below:
Only in America do we think it's fabulously wonderful when parents have to scavange trash to send their academically talented children to university.
Dear Billy... You've won an award from your good, wholesome blog pal, Kelly. It's an Inspiration Award. Come check it out and accept it, please. Afterwards, you can go back to collecting cans. :)
shaw - wow, those mexicans put me to shame.
kelly - thanks, i'm on my way.
And my son's been looking for a job. What was I thinking? I'll let the cans pay him. Of course, I have to drive to another state to redeem them. Good ole Rhody.
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