earlier this week it was my parents 67th wedding anniversary. my father is 89 years old and my mother is 86 years old. what did they do to celebrate their anniversary? they went to the casino. my mother loves casinos and honda lawnmowers.
i bought them a honda lawnmower for their 65th wedding anniversary. my dad has a patch of grass in their backyard that he cuts with a hand mower but he hired my kids to cut the rest of the grass. sonny did it faithfully for several years and when he moved on my daughter took over the job. it's real easy money, $50 for about 90 minutes work. the daughter lasted a few months before she decided cutting grass was beneath her so i took over the job. this works out real good for my daughter because i give her the money.
today was the first cut of the year and predictably i couldn't start the feckin mower. i did usual stuff; check that the spark plug was clean and pull the cord in the dark to see if there was a spark. i had spark so next i checked the carburetor and put a little gas in the air intake. the feckin thing still wouldn't work. i had my dad holding the mower in position and holding the safety bar on so i could pull with 2 hands. my mother comes outside and says we should have got an electric mower. i don't know if she forgot it was upon her insistence that i bought the honda. off we went to the lawnmower repair shop. after a good drive with the mower hanging out my trunk we arrive at the repair shop and it had vanished. the whole building had been demolished. fuck! so we went home. i couldn't find a repair shop within a reasonable distance so it was back to fighting the beast.
i decided to ride my bike to the gas station for fresh gas. i keep a spare bike in their garage for just such occasions. have i mentioned that i have more bikes than brains?
i picked up the fresh gas and put a little in the air intake of the mower and the prick starts on the first pull!! so i drained the mower's gas tank of the old gas and spilled gas all over my hands. did i mention that i skinned a knuckle earlier when trying to fix the beast. the gas in my fresh cut hurt like crazy. after filling the tank with fresh gas i cut the grass. my daughter was at university so she missed the whole ordeal. she'll find a $50 dollar bill on her desk when she comes home.
i'm going to drain the gas this fall after the last cut.
i love you sons of bitches but i can't say the same thing about japanese lawnmowers.
25 comments:
You bought them a Honda over 20 years ago and you're bitching about it?
Make sure you pull the bowl off the bottom of the carb in the fall also, a Honda may have a drain screw on the side of it to drain the float bowl.
Or put some gas stabilizer in the tank and run it for five minutes before storing it.
I have an old Toro riding mower that gets cranky at times, I'm thinking of buying some other new piece of shit.
That reminds me, Helen's Sears mower won't start, guess I should fix it.
i bought it 2 years ago!
Your daughter needs to man up!
My mom had a Lawnboy push mower and she took it every fall to the repair guy, then stored it and took it every spring back to the guy to get in ship shape. I think it was about 30 years old when she stopped using it.
Me? I don't mow. A guy comes every week with a huge commercial mower, spends about 10 minutes mowing and weed wacking and I pay him $25.
thimscool - she can get a little cranky when i mention these things.
charlene - i'll do it for $20.
Oh, my bad, I read the post wrong. Odd that a Honda would have a problem after only two years.
I have a Honda generator that is over 20 years old and didn't start acting up until last year.
Helen's Sears mower is over 12 years old and didn't start acting up until last year, most likely cuz I don't use it much.
I prefer to sit on my ass on my riding mower. :-)
First off congrats to your parents on their many years of wedded bliss. And second off congrats to your daughter for earning 50 bucks. I definitely think you deserved the money this time. I guess you are never too old to learn something new. Take care BP.
Damn, it would be easier to give your parents a cow and let it graze on the lawn. Fresh milk would be an added bonus. Regards to your folks, you must be glad to have their longevity genes.
billy - i guess it's just a temperamental little lady that demands fresh gas.
mr shife - spoiling a daughter is a father's job. one of the few jobs i enjoy.
gb - too much methane in a cow, the neighbors might complain.
I think your daughter has got it figured out.
When my son was fairly young, I agreed to pay him $10 to mow the front yard.
I'm inside, hear the mower running, I'm thinking "Good, a little hard work will be good for him."
I look out a little later, one of his friends is mowing the lawn. I ask him about it, he says
"He agreed to mow it for $5."
Wow. You had quite the ordeal with that Japanese lawnmower. So I guess the fresh gas did the trick, eh? I didn't know that could make a difference. Your daughter is lucky to have you. Congrats to your parents with the marriage, man. Long impressive time. That's great. Whatever you do, don't let an opossum lick your wound. You'll go crazy and buy another bike.
tex - did you continue paying the $10 or hire your son's friend directly?
kelly - thanks for the kind words. i actually enjoy cutting their grass, great exercise and i get to spend time with my dad.
i actually enjoy cutting their grass, great exercise and i get to spend time with my dad.
So is rolling a boat.
I found this article on the Broken Secrets blog: Start Your Lawn Mower in One Pull.
When I had my mower serviced, I asked the repairman if this was true, that your mower will start every time if you use PREMIUM gasoline. He confirmed it.
Sure, premium gasoline is more expensive, but if you are filling a 2-gallon gas can, the difference between premium and regular is pennies.
Sure enough, my mower sat all winter and when I fired it up... it started on the first pull.
thanks robert! it makes a lot of sense.
You are making me thankful for my battery-powered mower.
No lawn mowing for me. I live in the Cit-AY, and the only touch of nature I get is a song from an English sparrow and an occasional dead rat in the gutter. Hey! Dead rats? That's nature, innit?
Congrats to your parents!
secret - now that i have the secret of premium gas i expect all my problems are behind me. or not.
shaw - i see rats almost on a daily basis. it seems the cats can't keep up with them.
i see rats almost on a daily basis. it seems the cats can't keep up with them.
Wanna borrow my cats for two weeks? They've killed everything here and are so hard up that they are fucking with the garden snakes.
i mostly see dead rats on the road with crows picking away at them. those crows are tough, and smart!
We had some trouble with our gas mower getting it to start after sitting. I'm not a fan of gas. This one has power drive... yeah, right.
I miss my little quiet electric mower!
Your folks sound like a kick! They have a good son.
I was gonna mention checking & cleaning the air filter, but apparently THAT wasn't it.
ananda - i'm an electric myself. much easier.
heff - excellent to hear from you again. my first step was to take the air filter off and put gas in the carb. second step was to swear like crazy.
I hated mowing lawns..when the boys left they'd come over and mow the lawn, then they had kids and were too busy and would pay someone to do it..I was so happy to move into the apts so that they do all the yard work..
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