Saturday, April 23, 2011

jesus loves me

a while back i mentioned that my search for the perfect coffee may be over. i was given a package of godiva chocolate coffee and fell in love with it. after drinking a few cups i headed to the store to buy some more. as luck would have it i couldn't find any, rats!

after finishing the package i was given i have to admit that it quickly became quite tiresome. only my frugality made me finish the package. i'm pretty sure jesus removed all the godiva coffee from the shelf when i went looking for more. thank you jesus. i just wish he'd removed all the french vanilla coffee from the shelves while he was at it.

in honor of jesus and easter and all that stuff i decided to read up on some of his hijinx.



as a sci-fi fan i've read the bible several times and have read a few books on revelation but this was the first time i really enjoyed myself reading about jesus and that nasty dad of his. after reading this i was so proud of myself i picked up a dvd from the bbc on the book of revelation. son of a bitch, it gave a completely different picture of revelation and i'm back in the dark.

in any case, happy fucking easter.

i love you sons of bitches.

16 comments:

secret agent woman said...

See, remember how we were all suggesting regular coffee? :-)

Now, bring on the Easter chocolate.

thimscool said...

Jesus said you should get some whole bean coffee and grind it yourself.

Happy Easter

yellowdoggranny said...

grind it and he will come

Mr. Shife said...

Happy Fucking Easter to you too. Everybody is making a big deal about this Jesus fellow but hey guess what it is my birthday. My goal is to get absolutely shit faced and then rise up the next morning. Maybe I will get some street cred then.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Is there any good stuff in the Book of Revelations, apart from the Horsemen of the Apocalypse?

BTW, the title "Horseface of the Apocalypse" is a pretty good insult if you know anyone it could apply to.

billy pilgrim said...

secret - tomorrow morning i'll be at store picking up half price chocolate.

thims - a grinder is on my list.

yellowdog - but if he comes the 1000 year tribulation might happen and i want nothing to do with that.

mr shife - excellent goal.

gb - if you're a masochist it's full of good stuff.

Kelly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelly said...

Have you ever tried that coffee made from cat poop?

Oh, here comes Jesus Cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail, hippity hoppity Easter's on it's way.

Sing along now.

billy pilgrim said...

neither mrs c.j. nor i got to where we are today by drinking cat shit coffee.

any reggie perrin fans?

texlahoma said...

I heard the guy that wrote revelations was stuck on an island with nothing to eat but magic mushrooms. Well, he also had some Godiva chocolate coffee, but that's it.

billy pilgrim said...

tex - that explains everything!!!

BBC said...

The chinese name for jesus is One Hung Low.

Nance said...

Jesus loves Peet's Coffee out of San Francisco. We order it freshly ground, the Major Dickinson's Blend, straight from the company and Brown brings it to our door.

I have never, ever grown tired of Peet's. The heavy, sweet, flavored stuff? Blech! Coats the tongue. I'd rather have a cup of Peet's and a piece of Godiva on the side.

And, the Bible is hopelessly confusing. I do love Bart Ehrman's books on it; he reminds me that I'm sane and the confusion belongs between the covers of that book, rather than between my ears. If you don't get it, it ain't gettable.

Jayne said...

Oh man of many flavored coffees- have you sampled Cafe du Monde's chickory coffee? You might give that a try. The French do it best, you know?
(And I love that as a sci-fi fan--one who might think anything's possible--you've read the bible several times. It is an extremely innovative book, after all.) ;)

Robert the Skeptic said...

Have you tried finding that luscious chocolate coffee online? I can buy damn near anything online!

I have to scratch my head over an "Idiot's Guide to Revelation"... like is there any other kind?

billy pilgrim said...

nance - one of my favorite coffees is a no-name columbian roast. it's got a real clean taste to it.

jayne - chickory is on my list.

robert - i think it depends if you're a buyer or seller of revelation. if you're selling you're smart if you're buying you're a rube.