it's VICTORIA DAYin canada today. we get a national holiday to celebrate queen victoria's birthday. the old girl has been deader than a doornail for a long time but we get a day off and it pisses off the frenchmen so it must be a good thing. it's also considered to be the unofficial beginning of summer.
on this fine day our prime minister has reaffirmed that our troops will be out of afghanistan by 2014 and we'll be FORKING OVER 110 MILLIONS BUCKS A YEAR FOR THE NEXT 3 YEARS to that little rat bastard karzai. we're paying 110 million but britain is only forking over 100 million. shit, britain's GDP is almost 50% larger than our so why aren't those rat bastards paying more than us? france is still pondering how much they'll give.
last night i finally got around to watching lewis black's "in god we rust". it started off slow but when old lewis got around to valentine's day i laughed my brains out. it was one of those magic moments where the best spot in his act coincided with the peak of my fishing. here's a sample, the best stuff is missing but you'll get the point:
i love you sons of bitches.
oh yeah, fuck facebook and their data miners.
49 comments:
Queen Victoria's birthday is a holiday in Canada? WTF, it isn't a holiday in Britain. What did the old girl do to earn your love? I don't remember her getting humped by a lumberjack...or a moose.
gb - i'd bet that a large percentage of canadians have no idea who she was and are more interested in rice futures or the exchange rate of rupees.
My favorite holiday! Queen Victoria reportedly died clutching one of her beloved Pomeranians. I took the day off and adopted a 3-legged one named Obie.
You Victoria Day is awfully close to our Memorial Day - a week before. Which doesn't really make sense since summer starts earlier here. But I like Memorial Day for the same reason - a day off!
*please note that even though I did a so-called "good deed" today, I will not be going back to the animal shelter expecting a free dinner.
yeah, my other Canaderian friends are celebrating all over the streets of Canada for ole Queen Victoria..do you get Queen Elizabeth's birthday off too?...happy queen's day..and isn't Lewis Black the best?
Do you eat victoria sponges on this day? if so I approve.
Also dont be too hard on the miners. After the 1984 miners strike they had to re skill.
Arthur Scargill has LEET skills now
leslie - you reall adopted a 3 legged dog? a good deed indeed.
secret - we call it the unofficial start of summer because lots of people go camping and party on the long weekend.
yellowdog - lewis is the king! he can almost bring me to tears i laugh so hard at some of his stuff.
charlie - no, we smoke them after drinking copious amounts of free beer.
What's the twenty on the washed up ex cocksucking bitch? Oh, there she is, and no, she didn't adopt a three legged dog, everyone knows she's a damn liar. And everyone knows that you don't find free community dinners at an animal shelter. Not that she would lower herself to go to a community dinner.
I've never honored the queen slut, I'm just not that liberal.
The only thing as bad as a conservative is a liberal.
well, i might have just fallen off the turnip truck but i tend to believe her.
".....little rat bastard karzai......"
"......why aren't those(the Brits) rat bastards paying more than us?....."
Nu?
Both Karzai AND the Brits are rat bastards?
Sheesh! What do you think of the Taliban then?
To answer your query regarding the alleged remunerative disparity, to date the Brits have paid much more than the Canucks - up-front and in blood.
The ever cordial BBC said,
".....And everyone knows that you don't find free community dinners at an animal shelter......"
Not true.
In Lao PDR a joint British/American Animal Welfare NGO, ostensibly there to operate an Animal Shelter to care for those furry friends that wilfully trod upon heretofore unexploded ordinance and had the audacity to survive the experience, found themselves tending to the human community as well. Free community dinners were provided - and with the same food.
The locals now refer to themselves as:
Luk Khao Niaow and Meow"
I remember when Russia was in Afghanistan and the U.S. was helping the people that we are fighting now.
We were giving them stinger missiles to shoot down Russian planes.
Happy V.D. That didn't sound right.
There are some holidays that shouldn't be abbreviated!
Happy Victoria Day.
ALTF said,
".....The locals now refer to themselves as:
Luk Khao Niaow and Meow"....."
This is only funny if you:
A. know some Lao or Thai 'food' words.
B. have just ingested copious quantities of the local "Extra-Happy Pizza"
and
C. are trying to flirt with an Australian backpacker and it was he who said it.
Canada is great, V-Day or not.
aquarians - yup, 414 british deaths to 158 canadian deaths in afghanistan but that's history. i'm a forward thinking guy and canada has promised more $ for the next 3 years.
sterculian - i'll let you and the happy aquarian deal with the minutiae. i have bigger fish to fry.
tex - russia, america, canada, nato etc... it seems those wily afghans are a hard bunch to defeat.
bob - great r us.
Damn I totally love Lewis Black. He was a contestant on "Jeopardy" recently in their Celebrity Tournament. He is so goddam funny.
robert - i saw lewis on jeopardy, he just wasn't fast enough on the buzzer. his cell phone, goldman sachs and facebook observations in "in god we rust" were priceless.
lol! I don't know, I rather like the idea of "V.D." Day. It only seems fair since we altered V.D. to S.T.D. =;] I hope you enjoyed your holiday.
I do like Lewis Black,but have not yet heard "In God We Rust". I will have to look it up. I enjoy his routines on history. A smart man, Lewis. And I am not overly fond of FB, cell phones, gadgets of that ilk and goldman sachs. I've no doubt that he has some great thoughts on them.
As for Canadian and British policies and financial payments in regards to war-ish things... I don't know enough to comment on them. But I do suspect that all payments in blood are over payments.
Dearest Bullshit,
So it was funny then?
The Pilgrim said,
".....i'm a forward thinking guy and canada has promised more $ for the next 3 years...."
That which is 'promised' is often - strike that, NEVER - realised in substance.
You need not worry.
The Karzai Government will fall in civil war soon after ISAF and the Yank leave and long before Canada is able to transfer the entire 'promised' sum - assuming it even intended to do so.
See 'Kyoto Accord' and '2010 Haiti Earthquake' for precedence in these matters.
Dearest silly rabbit,
The term STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection) is now commonly used in the place of STD (Sexually Transmitted Disease).
aquarian - if only chretien was still our prime minister. that little rat bastard karzai would wake up with $110,000,000.00 worth of asbestos on his front lawn.
silly - a copy of in god we rust would be an excellent father's day present for "the man"
Asbestos does have its uses, ya know! And an international value!
That would be aiding and abiding the enemy wouldn't it?
Besides, why would one want to relieve Quebec of its asbestos - even if it meant shipping it to the land of the Afghans?
I can think of no better place for asbestos than La Belle Province - a place to which I am, as I pixellate this, a mere kilometre, as the frog flies, distant.
ALTF said,
".....Dearest Bullshit,
So it was funny then?....."
Krap.
But it was crap.
Kap-Pun Kraaa
Farang Kee Nok!
Mai Pen Rai Krap
Farang?
Kee Nok?
You're just jealous.
Farang Mu Sul!
Ya freak(s)!
Btw...."ATLF"?
Done with cuddling ?
Oh oh!
leslie understands Korean!
We're 나사 -ed!
I still embrace cuddling, as you can see, it's Bullshit who won't accept my transformation to a kinder and gentler version of grace under fire.
leslie said,
".....Ya freak(s)!....."
Yins is just jealous 'cause we Mongoloids have three copies of the 21st and you Caucasoids, you and Bullshit, only have two!
Losers!
I am most definitely the kind of girl you must take home to mother. I will never let your spirits down, once you get me off the street.
Oh, Turtle and Gnome must be delighted by this. Happy holidays! ;)
Well fuck me from behind with a bowl of fermented napa and scallion, leslie's a polyglot - and Korean at that!
ALTF said,
"....once you get me off the street....."
Aye, there's the rub.
hi jayne - this korean stuff is all going over my head but you're right about the turtle and the gnome. they just take everything in and wait in the weeds.
Are you enjoying the freak here?
sterculian - hey asshole, may i quote you?
"People who comment on blogs are cunts, or at best arseholes."
I like to call him Lew Black like Craig Ferguson does, and if I got to spend time with both of those dudes I think I would die from laughter. Hope you enjoyed your Victoria Day, and what load of shit that countries are paying all of that money to Afghanistan. Take care buddy.
Mr. Pilgrim,
Bullshit cannot be with us today - something about receiving treatment for an STI I think(something to do with his anal sphincter muscle) - but I suspect he would acquiesce to your request. You need not 'quote' him though. He is a firm believer in the phenomena of serendipitous academic convergence. Claim the dross as your own - after all, that's what he did.
Query?
What was it he wrote that made you consider Bullshit to be an 'asshole'? Though his palaver be sordid and seedy, I see nothing untoward. If you feel he has maligned yours truly or the fair and fragile leslie you need not defend our honour. We are quite capable of dealing with the arrogant and pompous denizens of the Patriarchy. Besides, he has yet to impugn my honour, but I cannot speak for leslie. In his defence, Bullshit is indeed an arrogant arse - but for good reason. Unlike our ever cordial friend BBC who is indeed a modest man - also for good reason.
Speaking of Bullshit, he said,
".....leslie's a polyglot...."
Meh, Pollyanna more like - except for the optimistic outlook bit. Though I must admit, reluctantly, her deliciously laconic retort of "Ya freak(s)!" is certainly better than the standard unlettered Yankee response to being intellectually raped; "Whatevah!"
billy pilgrim said,
".....they just take everything in and wait in the weeds......"
"in the weeds"?
"in"?
Are you sure this is the preposition you want? I would have thought 'with' would have been more apropos - and the word 'weeds' rendered in the singular.
After all, is not the gnome's name 'Marc' and the turtle's name 'Emery'?
billy pilgrim said,
".....sterculian - hey asshole, may i quote you?....."
Whatevah!
I'm surprised SR still has an anal sphincter muscle.
I'm also surprised BBC has lived this long (if you can call what he does "living") believing "subtitle" is two words.
Fuck.
I hate you.
Now that, Blue Bat, is why I love you. I mean, you know, in a sisters or cousins or maybe step-sisters kind of way.
Bullshit's naughty place is a bio-engineered prosthetic now - stem-cells or something.
mr shife - nice to see a normal rational person dropping by.
monster girl - who in the hell are you?
aquarians - is team cunt trying to assimilate me? resistance is futile?
I love what you've done with the place!
thims - did you participate in the facebook ipo?
Fo-Da-Ras.
Fuck no, monsieur.
I own stock in two companies, and one of them digs ditches for $300/hr. I considered shorting Facebook and RIM, but since that actually entails owning said stock, I want no part of it. Bunch-a-Fascisti.
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