Friday, June 29, 2012

rosewater.....

the rosewater foundation just keeps growing. a package arrived at my doorstep with a fresh supply of rosewater foundation supplies. sonny noticed how much dear old dad was smitten with his original trinkets so he ordered me some more stuff. it was a pleasant surprise.









i generally hate bumper stickers and would never consider putting one on the mighty sonata but i'm giving the volunteer fire department sticker serious thought. i took the welcome to earth banner to the cracker factory but haven't decided where to hang it. i'm pretty sure i'll be asked to take it down but what the fuck, i might as well have a little fun and annoy my boss.

on a different note, i have a new favorite show. john from cincinnati. i was reading david milch's list of projects and decided to give it a try and was very pleasantly surprised. it has a lot of deadwood actors in it and is very quirky. i heartily recommend it. a 5 star series in my book. too bad it got cancelled after one season.



i love you sons of bitches.

84 comments:

silly rabbit said...

I am very envious of your Rosewater Foundation items. Very.

I loved John From Cincinnati! It just about broke my heart when they stopped making it. All of the characters were quirky and the story line was fun.

I'm glad that Breaking Bad is back... or will be on the 17th. There is little else to watch on TV now.

Leslie said...

Agreed...John From Cincinnati was great while it lasted.

Gorilla Bananas said...

The Welcome to Earth poster looks as if it belongs in a maternity ward, but why would it annoy your boss?

Anonymous said...

You people watch television?

I hear that the new television series "Ragin' Cajuns" contains an episode wherein our own dear Leslie has a cameo role.
She is shown artfully stuffing Hot Boudin into an orifice one would not expect could be so artfully stuffed.

"Great while it lasted" She intones.

billy pilgrim said...

silly - i watched the 1st season of breaking bad but wasn't hooked for any further shows, has it brought any humor to the dance yet?

leslie - i got my eye on you.

gb - the cracker factory is a wee bit more conservative than a safari camp.

aquarians - i heard a rumor that leslie was a restaurant owner in treme.

Anonymous said...

".....a restaurant owner in treme....."
????
I reckon this is some sort of Pop Culture reference - one of which I am unaware.
My knowledge of Pop Culture in the Western World is restricted to that of my tutor's - the sixties and seventies. That and what I might learn here.
I'm sure the television watchers here 'bouts understand. Perhaps you could direct me as to what I should 'google' in order to further my learnin' and understand your inference?

Hurricane Lesserlee fucks upon the hill,
Hurricane Lesserlee, sounding very shrill.
Is she worthy? I don't think so.
Is she thinking? Yes, very slow.
Whatcha doing, Lesserlee, you cunt?
Hurricane Lesserlee, rims a dappled mare,
Hurricane Lesserlee, semen in her hair.
Is she oozing? Yes, I think so.
Is she horrid? Yes, ever so.
Whatcha doing, Lesserlee, you cunt?
Hurricane Lesserlee-Ee
Hurricane Lesserlee-Ee
Hurricane Lesserlee
Boop Boop.

Anonymous said...

Must be the season of the bitch, ALTF.

billy pilgrim said...

aquarians - pop culture? at my age the references i make lean more towards the classical than pop culture.

herc - small world, i just left a comment elsewhere with a reference to colors now you're referring to season of the witch. i must need some intergalactic laxative.

Anonymous said...

I thought I might add to the conversation, but, I may as well try and catch the wind for all the good it would do.

Anonymous said...

Classical references?
How's this then?

"Carnal knowledge of Mistress Leslie has good moments, but awful quarters of an hour!"
Gioachino Rossini, Ectoplasmic Spirit Letter to Drew Bees, April 2012

thimscool said...

The Boop Boop made it kismet.

Anonymous said...

Fortuitous kismet?

No, thimscool, it was the "Is she thinking? Yes, very slow." that made it kismet.

The 'Boop Boop' was a wheedling cajolement for the Cajun - it is a call of the rut you see - oft' heard deep in the bayou.
Primal it is.

thimscool said...

I'll have two of whatever she's having!

thimscool said...

Happy Birthday to BBC!

billy pilgrim said...

bilious - shortly i'm going to make like a turtle and dive for aquarian's pearls in the sea.

aquarians - it's shitty weather here and i left the cake out in the rain.

thims - bbc's birthday! i'll bet his kids are showering him in dog shit.

Anonymous said...

I like MacArthur Park.

I'd rather you dive for my pearl on the step frankly. Don't be fooled by the opalescence of Leslie's, it's faux.

Happy birthday BBC.
How much older are you than the iPhone?

Anonymous said...

I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again!
Oh no!

Bastard!
I can't get that song out of my head now.

yellowdoggranny said...

I love the Rosewater Foundation..I'd like to get the banner welcome to earth for the great grandbabies.
you should watch sons of anarchy, there are a bunch of deadwood actors on it.

harry said...

DOGS I says!

Leslie said...

BBC's hooker probably charges double for birthday gumming. So he's out $10.

Leslie said...

Mares are female horses, idiot

Anonymous said...

Female horses over the age of three actually - unless they are thoroughbreds - then it's four.

And here I thought the restorative act of rimming was, anatomically speaking, gender neutral?

But I defer to you in matters concerning all things equine.
I's such a silly filly.

Anonymous said...

"Is she thinking? Yes, very slow."

Indeed!

Leslie said...

Your next line involves semen, does it not? Sorry for thinking you had flow, Tennyson.

Anonymous said...

Semen, like our love, comes in spurts. It doesn't flow; nor should my poetry.

Someone had blunder'd:
Yours not to make reply,
Yours not to reason why,
Yours but to rim and die:
Unto the sphincter of Death
Flowed the dull Leslie.

Anonymous said...

Okay!
Okay!

I'll change the lyric to:

"Hurricane Lesserlee, rims a dappled hare,"

Better now?

Leslie said...

Yes. I love bunnies!

Anonymous said...

I've an Attraction for bunnies myself. Some say, even Fatal.

Nyuck nyuck.



billy pilgrim?

My phrase 'the pearl on the step' is an Asian euphemism for a clitoris. I realised the phrase, if googled, would return nothing so I figured I'd help you out.

billy pilgrim said...

aquarians - a pearl on the step, live and learn. i'm too mature to make any pearl necklace references.

leslie - the thought of bill and his $10 lady love is not a pleasant thing. i wonder is thims has hacked his laptop and is watching the whole thing?

harry - i checked out bill's birthday post it made a reference to your health. i hope i misunderstood it.

yellowdog - i think john from cincinnati has more deadwood actors. charlie utter never looked better.

harry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BBC said...

Pfft... And to think I just returned from a free birthday fuck to read this shit.

Carry on kiddies....

Leslie said...

"This one's on me"...?
Aren't they all "on her"?


I wonder if she can take a tax deduction for that sort of charitable donation.

harry said...

pilgrim-

I hope so too; maybe he knows something I don't.
He IS Gog after all. GOG I says!

billy pilgrim said...

bbc - you might be the only person not welcome at the rosewater foundation.

leslie - i keep checking my calendar to make sure it's not april 1. maybe he did get sex without paying for it.

harry - i've spent hours trying to decipher gog. how about a hint?

BBC said...

Pfft, the women here are idiots. Women like Leslie and Aquarius are what make hookers and easy women so important on this planet. No mind games. – No shit. – Just fun…. A spirit needs to be screwed without a bunch of shit. Enjoy your babbling idiots though.

Of course some 'hookers' give some free treats, if they like the guy, why wouldn't they?

Clearly, Leslie doesn't know shit about hookers, she puts them all in the same basket and that's a stupid thing to do.

BBC said...

BTW, I don't hate all women, there are those I like to talk to and be friends with, and those I like to fuck. So lets be clear about that.

Robert the Skeptic said...

Hey, just logged in to wish you a Happy Canada Day, day.

harry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
harry said...

pilgrim- there is no deciphering Gog Almighty.

Hint- Gog is Love

What if Gog wanted to comment anonmously?

What if the Googles wouldn't accept his name?

He can't help it if his name's sofa king short

What THEN eh?

Leslie said...

I don't have a problem with hookers, I just think it's hilarious you have to pay for sex.

Even funnier...your last "friend", The Plastic Vagina, cost more than your current "friend", and your current "friend" has limbs and a pulse. (She does have limbs and a pulse, right?)

And after years of indentured servitude, you burned The Plastic Vagina at the stake. But you don't have any mental issues or problems with women. Nope. Totally sound. A role model for other Spirits!

harry said...

EVERYONE pays for zex, even those of us that exist on a, shall we say, more spiritual level.

May be Billies gog REQUIRES a blood/fire sacrifice huh ?

Ever think of THAT ?

On the udder hand that might have been the safest method of disposal.

Every man must judge for hisself.








huh ?

Hugh G Rekshonn said...

Limbs & pulses are vastly overrated.

At least that's what my buddy Gary says.

billy pilgrim said...

bbc - free treats? what'd she give you, herpes or the clap?

robert - 145 years old an still going strong.

harry - like my good pal valentine smith liked to say, thou art gog.

leslie - how many spirits does it take to change a light bulb?

hugh - i'd be lost without my limbs and pulse.

Leslie said...

One to screw the hooker, one to pee on the solar panel?

Leslie said...

No, wait. Is this one of his LEDs? That's a trick question. He'll be dead before it needs changing.

BBC said...

I don't have a problem with hookers, I just think it's hilarious you have to pay for sex.

Being married wasn't paying for sex? Fuck, hookers are cheaper than being married, and more fun.

Leslie is a fucking idiot, I've turned down way more free sex than I could have screwed my way though because the hidden price just wasn't worth it.

Gog has a nice cock. Yes? Blessed be the hookers so we can avoid the Leslie’s.

The rest of you idiots are in charge while I’m gone camping.

BBC said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
BBC said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Allan said...

Wow! What a great and totally appropriate gaggle of goodies!

BBC said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Hahahaha

BBC said...

Gog's comments were removed by a blog administrator, hahahaha

Leslie said...

What was the hidden price? You had to bathe and be respectful? Or do you mean you had to pop for lunch at Western Sizzler?

Leslie said...

Hey, can you do some more videos while you're camping? You know, like the one where you have a few beers and soil the local hot springs, then park the Frankencamper on a road somewhere and pretend you're communing with nature?

BBC said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hugh G Rekshonn said...

Hey now, I resemble that remark.

I DEMAND satisfaction.




What's that hookers number?

Anonymous said...

BBC said,

".....Pfft, the women here are idiots. Women like Leslie and Aquarius are what make hookers and easy women so important on this planet....."

Que?
What makes you think just because I don't charge I am NOT still a hooker?
Sheesh!
And why do you think I am not easy? I spread faster than radiation.

You're right about Leslie though, she's one tight-assed bitch.

Leslie said...

You spread faster than radiation but you have the same gastrointestinal effect.

Anonymous said...

Nu?
Did you think I wear that self-squeegee-ing wetsuit and goggles as a fashion statement?
Kim Cattrall - eat your heart out.

Leslie said...

Yes. And since when is a tight ass a bad thing?

Anonymous said...

I always wondered about that too. You Anglos sure have some strange counter-intuitive cacophemisms.
Like the very word 'bitch'? Why would this be hurtful to a woman?
Accordingly, I can see why the word 'stud' would be a derogation for men - yet it isn't considered as such when it most certainly should be.
Sheesh!

billy pilgrim said...

kim cattrall, the morning light when it's on her face really shows her age but next to that horse face sarah parker, she looks like a 20 year old supermodel.

Hugh G Rekshonn said...

I peed in a horse once; she was a tightassed old mare.







What, it's legal here!

Anonymous said...

Did you just make a Rod Stewart reference?

"C'mon angel my hearts on fire
Don't deny your man's desire
You'd be a fool to stop this tide
Spread your wings and let me come inside"

This was banned in the Canadas; too sexual. So the Canadian Broadcast Standards Council over-dubbed the last line to:

"Spread your wings and let me come on the sheets"

We all then got to hear the crap tune - it being much more proper now, yes?

Leslie said...

There's also the BBC remix....

"Come on, she-monkey, my butt's on fire
Don't deny your man's toothless and retired
You'd be a fool to have indoor plumbing when you can shit in a ditch
Spread your $5 an hour wings and let me call you a fucking bitch"

thimscool said...

Ha!

Anonymous said...

The cadence and meter is a bit fucked, but I'm with thimscool; Ha!

harry said...

Every picture tells a story, story.

Unfortunately.

I have to bleach my eyes now, thanks.

billy pilgrim said...

aquarians - i know you don't play, but i'll teach you some day....

leslie - nice touch, bbc could have cool comments like that if he wasn't such an old chicken.

harry - i've been listening to his songbook stuff for the last few years, take me out and shoot me.

harry said...

pilgrim- Small Faces was some good stuff.

Down hill from there, mostly.








Beckola I says !

Leslie said...

"Every Picture Tells a Story" is The Faces, not The Small Faces, and Jeff Beck was never in either band, so what are you talking about? Get it together over there, Harry. T'was the other way around. Amateur!

harry said...

Excuse me but I don't think I ever said JB was in either of those outfits.

I don't believe I said that E P T a S was from either group.

So just what are You rambling on about ?

Nobody is interested in starting a war with you.

Why are You so anal?

So why don't you go listen to your Bon jovi and Bruce Springsteen and your Rush and your kiss and fleetwood mac and whatever else is in your bubblegum collection.

Anonymous said...

harry said,

".....Nobody is interested in starting a war with you (Leslie)....."

Speak only for yourself.

Anonymous said...

harry also said,

".....Why are You (Leslie) so anal?....."

Ostensibly as a result of an ill-conceived gambit that went terribly awry in Itchycoo Park one night.

It wasn't all too beautiful.

Leslie said...

So you just mentioned Jeff Beck for no reason, then? Ok. My bad for thinking there was some sense to your comment.

Easy to see why you and BBC get along. Over-the-top defensive about blog shit-talking.

You sure pegged my musical tastes, though. Can't get enough Rush and Bon Jovi.

harry said...

I didn't mention Jeff Beck, try to pay attention.

No need to be so anal retentive/defensive.







Louis says "Leave it all behind ya! "

Anonymous said...

Dearest harry,

Is not 'Beckola', aka 'Beck-Ola', an album by the Jeff Beck Group?
Was Leslie, otherwise a right cunt, wrong to infer an understanding of Jeff Beck from your mention of 'Beckola'?

Do you even know what 'anal retentive' means?
By your use of the phrase, Louis says "I think not!"

Leslie said...

You are apparently as thick as BBC only not nearly as fun.

Leslie said...

In review, I think what Harry was trying to say (though failed miserably) was that it was all downhill after The Jeff Beck Group, and that The Small Faces and The Faces both suck, and....uh....I'm not paying attention to his disjointed meanderings and that I'm anal retentive for trying to make sense of them.

Correct?

Anonymous said...

I think harry is loads more fun than BBC.
Harry tosses about Freudian phraseology with wild abandon AND with nary a care as to whether it has been appropriately employed.
What's not to love?

Anonymous said...

Leslie said,

".....and that I'm anal retentive for trying to make sense of them......"

I am in no position to determine why harry might determine or even define, the level of Leslie's anal retentiveness. Nor am I in a position to deduce Leslie's own conclusions regarding her anal retentiveness - or lack thereof.
I can, however, assert that I believe her to be anally retentive simply because the three vinifera grapes, two lego bricks, six genuine deer-antler toggles from my old English duffle coat, two Hot Wheels 'cudas (one red, one yellow), a 2 gig FlashDrive containing pirated mp3s from several Ricky Martin concerts and Obie's missing leg which she inserted into her bum, have yet to re-materialise.

Anonymous said...

I love Obie, by the way.

Leslie said...

But BBC poops in a hole in his yard.

Leslie said...

Like I'd really put grapes in my butt.

Anonymous said...

Not even Vinifera?