the roads were icy monday morning but i was itching to go for bike ride so off i went for a little exercise. all seemed well with the world until i started to make a left turn and hit some black ice. i was riding quite quickly because the road i was turning onto has a pretty decent incline and i wanted some speed. as soon as i hit the ice i knew something unpleasant was about to occur and sure enough i was right. down i went onto the hard cold asphalt. ouch! of course i yelled my favorite word the moment i hit the pavement.
i slid a few yards and immediately felt the pain. a middle aged asian couple rushed to my aid and helped me to my feet. an older man with a grey beard falling off a bike does tend to elicit sympathy. i could barely stand but they helped me to the sidewalk where i assessed the damage. bike was fine, i was broken. after a few minutes to regain my senses i hopped on the bike and carefully rode home.
the damage wasn't as bad as i initially thought. a nicely scraped left knee that will have a nice scab in a week or so, a bruised left elbow but no broken skin and a badly bruised left hip. i spent an hour on the couch with my knee and elbow covered in ice. four days later and i'm back on the bike.
surprisingly, i think going a good rate of speed lessened the damage because i hit the pavement with forward momentum rather than just falling straight down. oh yeah, i got zero sympathy from the lovely mrs myshkin. this i won't forget.
now to the meat of the matter. either i've lost my sense of humor or the daily show isn't very funny these days. it seems jon leibowitz (stewart) is more interested in criticizing fox news and kissing obama's black arse than going after the current government. when bush was president it was an excellent show but now it almost seems like a half hour infomercial for o'bumble. on the other hand stephen colbert can still make me laugh out loud.
i will no longer record and watch the daily show. adios mr leibowitz.
i love you sons of bitches
38 comments:
".....a middle aged asian couple rushed to my aid and helped me to my feet. an older man with a grey beard falling off a bike does tend to elicit sympathy....."
They nicked your wallet! Or at least magnetically scanned your credit and debit card data.
Caucasoids are SOOOOOOO trusting!
Is the moral of the story "Yay nine irons, boo Jews"?
Am I the only one who gets ads for at-home STD testing kits when clicking on Pilgrim's youtubes??
Thimscool, do you have a fix for this?
the moral to the story is hidden deep in the subtext. i doubt if you'll get it.
i got an ad for vapeworld.
I didn't click on it.
I've no audio driver and the dial-up connection makes for 'jerky' playback.
The Tutor tells me I'll hate that song any way.
"......either i've lost my sense of humor(sic)....."
The Asian couple relieved you of that possession as well! And your stock of "U"s too it would seem.
Maybe if you had a few more dogs they could pull you on a sled, which might be a safer mode of travel in your climate. Jon Stewart always seems quite mild in his satire whenever I see him. There's another guy called Bill Maher who's a bit of a hot head - have you seen him?
I believe I've been insulted.
gb - bill maher lost me after i paid $10 to see religulous.
The ads depend on what you've been doing on your computer, especially what you have searched for recently.
My ad was for optics planet.
Glad to hear you didn't break your hip, Pilgrim.
jesus christ! i forgot that i have osteoporosis. i better start being more careful.
i get my next bone scan in april. don't tell my doctor that i don't follow the fosovance instructions.
one day i'll have to do an osteoporosis post.
Ha! I was trying to help ALTF identify an oozing rash she has, so that makes sense.
Err. I worried falling down just walking across the car port. Save A Hip! Stay at home!
Glad you are OK and hopefully you mend up well. Sorry I missed Ruby's birthday. I feel like a basset hound's ass for that. I still enjoy The Daily Show but you have to remember that I am a sleep-deprived stay-at-home Dad who watches more Disney Jr. than anything else. However, The Daily Show has taken a back seat lately since hockey is back and I am taking all my available free TV time and watching that. Have a good weekend, BP.
Dearest Mr. pilgrim,
It is not 'fosovance', it is 'Fosavance'.
Perhaps you also need a cocktail of Aricept and Razadyne to go with your Fosavance?
Leslie said,
"......Ha! I was trying to help ALTF identify an oozing rash she has, so that makes sense......"
And I am grateful for the help. Had you informed me, however, that you were the original source of my percolating groinal buboes - with The Tutor as the unwitting vector of course - I could have 'nipped it in the bud', so to speak. As it is now, I've a herd(ganon?) of leeches supping on my smooth and wrinkle-free epidermis.
Fuck off, Saeed!
Dearest Mr. Saeed Zia,
Thank you for the link to your most enlightening of blogs, The Tutor does love him some "pakistani girls". Especially the ones wearing the hijab - and nothing else!
Query?
Are all "pakistani girls" as hirsute as the ones pictured on your blog? The Tutor says it's kinda hot.
That is so rude thimscool!
AND anti-Capitalist to boot!
i don't know where saeed came from but our very unpopular provincial government is spending 13 million to bring over a shit load of pakis for some bullshit bollywood awards show in the hopes of gaining east indian support for the coming election. lucky us.
fuck of saeed.
I remember having a conversation with a South Asian gentleman about how stupid the Canadian Caucasoid is.
He was forever being called a 'Paki' by Caucasoid cunts. For years he just ignored it, realising that Caucasoids were just too stupid to know better. One day, after being called a "Paki" for the umpteenth time, he shot back,
"I am not a 'Paki'! I am Indian! From India! For fuck's sake, we hate the Pakis too - more than you! In fact we've fought three wars with them in the last 60 years and continue to kill the fuckers in Kashmir - as we speak! Have you killed any, like I have? No? I didn't think so. You Caucasoid cunts are all alike, All bark and no bite! Now fuck off, loser!"
Makes a girl proud, it does!
Oh and pilgrim?
Toronto did a Bollywood thing a few years back. It actually brought in more money than was spent. I know! Hard to believe, but it's true.
you appear to have suffered a brain injury when you fell off the turnip truck.
Turnips?
Meh!
The poor, Caucasoid cunt's rutabaga
And it was an El Camino, not a truck.
I've been informed of a new word for tall redheads.
Gingeraffe.
Turnips are yummy when sliced very thin and turned into potato chip-like thingys.
Turnips, cabbage, and the unholy fruit of a cross between the two, rutabagas, are not fit for human consumption. No matter into what they are turned.
Caucasoids eat them - that says it all.
Gingeraffe?
Is your tongue long, dark blue and prehensile, Leslie?
Taro chips are good too.
I will send you a case. You have teeth, correct?
I still need to mail your WHO DAT panties...I will put them in the same package.
Make sure the Who Dat panties are of high quality and hypo-allergenic - I don't want to get tainted again.
Taro chips are good.
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Throw the ball I've got to
Run the play
From the yards that you drive into the heart of me
The plays we share
Seem to go nowhere
And I've lost my might
For I toss and turn I can't throw all-right
(chorus)
Once I ran the play (I ran)
Now I'll quit okay
This tainted love we're given
I give you all a girl could give you
Take my fears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
Tainted love
Everything made in America is high quality.
The Leslie link says, in part,
"......Toss these message panties onstage(sic) at your favorite(sic) rock star or share a surprise message with someone special ... later......"
I don't want to wait until 'later' to share my surprise message. Are you sure these are right for me?
I do like the "Size up for a looser fit" option, but why do Yankees always seem to "size down" for a tighter fit? Do Yankee men really like those 'straggling' hairs peaking out the sides of the material?
Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!
the thought of you ladies in who dat panties rivals old bill's disgusting sex comments.
you guys drove him away and he really means it this time.
The equestrian?
Did you know it's illegal to view or display bestiality pictures in Washington State?
I hope P-Frump has alerted the proper cyber authorities.
Haha. I may go see P-Funk soon.
Good. George Clinton needs your help with paying off the IRS.
Blogger Content Policy:
Porn and hate speech: encouraged
Incest and bestiality: strictly forbidden
Buh-bye, BBC!
Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty we are free at last!
freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
Leslie chanted,
"......Free at last, free at last. Thank God almighty we are free at last!......"
We?
Speak for yourself, cunt!
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