more genocide

last year i was quite upset when the red eared slider turtles were massacred at central park in burnaby. the details of my emotional crisis over the turtle holocaust were EXPERTLY DOCUMENTED ON ENJOY THE MOMENT.

fuck me, THEY'RE AT IT AGAIN! things must be pretty good in abbotsford if red eared slider turtles are public enemy number 1. i haven't visited the controversial turtle sites in abbotsford, it's way too far for an old man to pedal a bicycle, so it'll be up to some other civic minded citizen to advocate for the turtles. in central park the red eared sliders peacefully co-existed with the western painted guys. i always saw a row of mixed turtles basking on logs.

if that's not bad enough i was scolded by my boss yesterday for not reading her emails. being scolded by a young rubenesque woman could have been an embarrassing situation if it wasn't so funny. of course i didn't refer to her as a young rubenesque lady when relating the story to my peers. the first word rhymed with cat and the second word rhymed with punt. so it goes.

and just to add to my fabulous week, the cable company is sending out a technician tomorrow to check out the noisy gateway pvr they stuck me with. the phone rep suggested relocating the base station to our garage. fuck them, they either give me a new quiet model or it's adios muchachos.

i love you sons of bitches.

the box

the cable company and i are locked in another dispute. the fucking gateway box has this very irritating hum when the hard drive goes berserk or the fan switches gears. i called and complained and they offered to send out a technician to relocate the box i my garage. i'm thinking of taking them up on the offer but when the technician arrives just handing him a garbage bag with all the parts inside and telling him that i'm done with the gateway system. take it from me, it's a piece of shit. i doesn'do anything the old pvr couldn't do other than record 6 programs at the same time.

on a different note, i fucked up my income taxes. after assembling countless information slips and producing a splendid spreadsheet i sent it all off along with a cheque for the amount owing. for some reason the cheque wasn't cashed and i received my assessment from the canada revenue agency with a credit for the cheque that wasn't cashed. after pondering all this i decided to check my bank accounts. i happened across a $45 non sufficient funds charge in a CIBC account. it seems that i transferred the funds into my TDwaterhouse account but wrote the cheque on a CIBC account. the canada revenue agency only charged $15 for the rubber cheque. so my stupidity resulted in a $60 charge plus the interest canada revenue agency will charge. lucky fucking me. maybe friends and family will quit asking me to do their taxes if they find out how i fucked up on my own taxes. so it goes.

in summation, i hate the cable company and taxes. but i love my old pennies! if anyone was paying attention last year they might remember me bitching and complaining about the canadian governments decision to scrap the penny. when i saw old pennies for sale at the coin shop i couldn't resist. of course they cost me a lot more than a penny each but they're the old pure copper beauties!

the lovely mrs myshkin does not share my love of pennies.

cable wars

me and the cable company are not getting along very well at the moment. i was on a promotion that gave me cable and internet for around $70 and all was well with the world until they cancelled the promotion i was on. they told me that the promotion might come back in september but i was shit our of luck until then. i asked to be transferred the retention department but they told me to fuck off. since i was coming off a promotion they insisted that i pay the full price of around $145 including taxes. i told them i wasn't happy.

as luck would have it, the competing cable provider had a promotion where i'd get a free smart tv if i signed a 3 year contract with the monthly charge being about $130. i said sign me up. i then called my current cable provider to cancel my service. i had to talk to 3 different service reps and each time i thought they'd offer me something to keep my business but no luck. they just kept telling how their service was superior so finally i cancelled and all was well with the world.

a few days later i received a call from the provider i was cancelling and was offered a great deal. a 3 month promo at $59, a $40 credit to make up for my frustration, a free gateway system and an extra digital tuner should i need it. this sounded good so i asked how much my bill would be after the promo and was told $100 so i jumped at the deal and cancelled the free tv deal with the competitor.

a few days later i received an email confirming the installation appointment for the gateway system and a break down of my charges. they had set my monthly fee at $122.95 plus tax. of course i saw red and immediately called the provider. they told me the rep made a mistake and that $122.95 was the correct charge. i was so sick of these insufferable pricks that i didn't bother arguing. when the $59 promo ends in 3 months i'll cancel the service and go through all this bullshit one more time. this stupid gateway system will be at least 3 pieces of equipment that i'll have to return at the end of the promotion. they will deliver to set the system up and get you hooked on the service but if you want to cancel, you have to return the shit yourself. i will not be very gentle with the equipment when i return it.

on the plus side, donald is doing very well and i haven't had to have the missus gently wipe any tears from my face.

i love you sons of bitches.

election day

it's election day in beautiful british columbia. it looks like our liberal government will be tossed out on their ear. they are liberals in name only. truth be told, our provincial liberals are to the right of our federal conservatives. it's not like our federal conservatives are center right, no they are strongly right. so it goes.

i hemmed and hawed all day as to whether or not i'd bother voting since i find the leaders of both major parties to be steaming piles of shit. in the end i walked up the hill and into the polling station only to realize that i had forgot my glasses. after providing i.d. and receiving my ballot i asked the guy handing out the ballots which candidate was with the green party. he pointed to a name and i put my x on the ballot right in front of him and handed it to him. he seemed a little miffed. so it goes.

years ago i took sonny with me to the polling station, he was about 6 years old. when the official gave me the ballot i handed it to sonny and told him to put an x beside which ever name looked good. a female election official was horrified and was ready to throw me in jail but her boss, an elderly man, just smiled and helped sonny place the ballot in the box.

all of the major parties will tax the shit out of me and will direct the discretionary spending at some special interest group that bugs me. that's why i don't take the whole voting bullshit seriously.

i love you sons of bitches.

ouch

i made the mistake of looking at my cable/internet bill. somehow that son of a bitch has increased to $143/month. it seems like yesterday i was paying about $60 for this shit. i don't really mind paying for the internet connection but the $80 for cable tv that i don't watch is really a pain in the ass. i'd be happy watching deadwood every night for the rest of my life. i wonder how much everyone else is paying for a bunch of shitty channels?

mickey and donald continue to do well. they've turned into a nice little experiment. donald is the bigger plant but i moved mickey to an area in the yard that gets more sunshine so it should be interesting to see if mickey can catch up to donald by the end of the summer. i named them after the two alien lizards being raised by sam yeager in the harry turtledove colonization series. it's all part of the world war series i've been babbling about for months.

here's an excellent version of an old hank snow classic.

i love you sons of bitches, maybe even more than i love donald and mickey.

yikes!

our right to post stupid comments with impunity is under attack. brian burke, former manager of the toronto maple leafs, aneheim ducks and vancouver canucks has taken it upon himself to clean up the internet. mr burke is SUING ON LINE COMMENTERS FOR DEFAMATION. when burke was fired by the maple leafs, tongue-in-cheek bloggers and their followers had a field day. burke is a blustery irishman who probably drinks too much. i say probably because i don't want to be sued. the blog commenters jokingly said that burke was fired because he had an affair with the lovely HAZEL MAE, a fillipino tart if there ever was one.

i would guess that almost everyone reading the blog and comments knew that they were total bullshit, just a bunch of fun loving lunatics, living in their parents basement, trying to be funny. but burke doesn't see it that way. he takes umbrage at the comments and wants his pound of flesh even though HIS LAWSUIT MAKES THING WORSE. i would venture to guess that 99% of canadians knew nothing about this nonsense until the lawsuit was filed. now millions of canadians are asking themselves, did burke really bone hazel??

although burke supposedly boning the lovely hazel is a humorous story it may have important consequences. will people such as myself and countless other nitwit bloggers be able to continue acting like idiots with anonymity? fuck me, first they declare war on file sharing now they're trying to take away the right to say stupid libelous stuff. all this bullshit compels me to make another rule:

no comments alleging burke fucks nubile young fillipinos.

i love you sons of bitches.