satan

the tomatoes are doing exceptionally well this year. take a look at satan:

i've named the little guy satan because there's a horn growing out of it's head. today is the first time i noticed it's starting to turn a lovely shade of orange, soon to be red. i'm out checking on it several times a day so this color is new. the lemon tomato plant is finally starting to produce fruit. last year i got one very nice yellow tomato which is pretty pitiful for a tomato plant. this might be the last year for lemon tomatoes.

i wish that little son of bitch donald would start another growth spurt. as things look now, i won't be getting any flowers unless he's a real late bloomer. a few days ago i removed a big clump of "babies breath" that was encroaching on donald. the lovely mrs myshkin got rather upset when she noticed what i had done. she still isn't talking to me. (note to self: if she starts talking to me, remove more baby's breath)

so what's better than detroit going tits up? this is way the FUCK BETTER! how the hell can a business that pays no taxes and is able to issue tax deductible receipts get into financial trouble? easy, it can't. this is all a ruse to fleece its sheep out of more money and probably get a casino license or some other sort of license to print money. what bugs me more, cops or churches? tough call, i'll have to think on it for a few minutes.

i could use a few good lovelies in my life, big changes will soon be happening in pilgrimville.

oh yeah, some fat asshole threatened to beat the shit out me after i told him it wasn't nice to make his dog run in the heat while he rode a bike.

i love you sons of bitches

detroit be broke.

so detroit is in the throes of BANKRUPTCY and there might be a wee bit of pain. the bond holders and pensioners may take a bit of a haircut. i hope the rules of bankruptcy are respected this time unlike when obama and his crew stuck their noses into the automobile mess and unilaterally changed the rules. now i’m not a bankruptcy lawyer so this is just a layman’s opinion: the secured creditors have to be paid before the unsecured creditors get theirs. of course this is all negotiable.

why would i give a shit about this? simple, i don’t like cops and hope the cops take a hit on their pensions and health care. given the fact that everyone will take a haircut, it only stands to reason that the biggest pigs at the trough get a crew cut whilst those with the smallest pensions just get a wee trim. everyone keeps the first $10,000 then the rest of the haircut will be applied on a sliding scale.

have i ever mentioned that i don’t like cops? before loving you sons of bitches, that was my catch phrase and nothing has changed. i still don’t like cops. fuck me, the cops didn’t even want to give zimmerman a slap on the wrist until public furor took hold. how many young men have been euthanized by cops for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

do you remember when the deaf indian was killed by the cops in seattle after not dropping his carving knife when ordered to do so by a cop. he was shot 5 times and what followed looked like a scene from the keystone cops:

that's right, 12 cops vs 1 dead indian. did the cops try to help him whilst he lay dying? fuck no, they finally flipped him over and handcuffed him without checking for a pulse or thinking about cpr.

like dylan said, the cops don't need you and man they expect the same.

i love you sons of bitches.

mental defectives

has my mental defective gimmick run its course and become stale? am i repeating myself over and over with no regard toward entertaining the reader? what kind of boring asshole would do such a thing?

last post i mentioned the broken tooth but didn't mention the other lovely details and this is true. i had a 9:45 appointment to get the tooth checked out and around 8:00 i experienced some violent diarrhea and had several trips to the commode before seeing the dentist. of course this made the unpleasant trip to the dentist about as unpleasant as you can get. that afternoon i also experienced a very upset stomach. i told myself that this was all due to the stress i was under. the following day i also had some violent diarrhea in the morning and again in the afternoon. ain't life grand.

wednesday evening i thought about all this and a light went on in my head, maybe it was the flax. twice a day, morning and early afternoon, i have a cup of boiling water with flax. flax must be refrigerated and has a limited shelf life. once before i experienced rancid flax and the result was violent diarrhea so i figured this might be the problem and tossed out the jar of ground flax in the fridge. thursday i used a new batch of flax and all was well with the world. my screwed up stomach was due to bad flax. now my question was, did i purchase rancid flax from the store or did some dumb cunt leave my jar of flax out in the sun??? who knows.

i'm a firm believer in the heath benefits of ground flax. i put a teaspoon of cinnamon in my morning cup of flax and a quarter teaspoon of tumeric in my afternoon cup of flax. both cinnamon and tumeric supposedly have health benefits and give the flax a little flavor.

so here's my question about zimmerman and trayvon. in order to be convicted of murder, the jury must find him guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. if the jury is unable to arrive at a verdict after 2 days of deliberation, doesn't that indicate that there is a reasonable doubt?

leave it to townes van zandt for the last word on dental work

i love you sons of bitches.

i'll bet 2 bucks that the king wins the big hole fishing derby.

who be blue

who be blue?

i be blue, let me count the ways:

i just found out my best friend from high school died.

another good friend has a neurological muscular disease that has now fucked up his breathing.

my current best friend has been in a deep depression and every conversation turns into his wanting to commit suicide.

randy travis is in critical condition and i love that son of a bitch.

half a fucking tooth fell off today, major dental work.

so cry me a fucking river or tell me fuck off and quit complaining.

on the positive side an ORPHANED KILLER WHALE IS THRIVING IN THE WILD. i'd still like to go blow up a few nine iron whaling vessels.

and finally, this MADE ME LAUGH.

this song cheered me up a little and may have prevented me from going back to the nut house.

i love you sons of bitches. shit i feel better already!

and for reading all the way through my nauseating self pity, let me pass along something clever i heard on OZ last night:

television is a medium, rarely well done.

donald

i don't know what has happened to donald. he seems to have quit growing and his bottom leaves are getting a touch discolored. the missus misses no opportunity to tell me that donald is nothing but a weed. he might be a weed but he's my weed. or a jay would say to silent bob, that's not a weed, that's the holy fucking weed.

we are currently having a wee heat wave that is proving to be just what the doctor ordered for the tomato plants. i have never had tomatoes this early, it's usually mid august before things start to take shape. the only problem is a dearth of bees. there are a shitload of bees in our front yard where all the colorful flowers are but very few in the back yard so i've been trying to pollinate them myself. so far, so good.

after my short stay in the loony bin i've decided to watch one flew over the cuckoos nest for my 15 minutes of bliss before retiring to bed. i've always thought that it was one of the top 5 films ever produced. i can start laughing by just looking at danny devito and christopher lloyd. at times it can be painful watching billy grasp for words but i guess the mixture of humor and human frailty are what sets it apart from most other films.

time to trim a little fat.

i love you sons of bitches.