i love you sons of bitches so much i'm going to share the lottery ticket epiphany i experienced years ago. i'm a big believer in luck and realize that the two big movers and shakers in our universe are time and luck so i'm usually on the look out for something lucky. whats my email? luckyoldleo! need i say more. back to lottery tickets. there was a time when something happened to me that i recognized as being lucky, i would say to myself: "holy jumping, luck is with me, i better buy a lottery ticket." of course i didn't win the lottery but the next time i felt lucky, i'd buy a lottery ticket and of course i wouldn't win.
then one day the epiphany hit and i saw the light. jesus fuck me christ, these goddamn lottery tickets aren't capitalizing on my perceived luck, THEY'RE ENDING MY LUCKY STREAK!!!
so take a deep breath and imprint this on your brain: BUYING A LOTTERY TICKET AND NOT WINNING WILL KILL ANY RUN OF GOOD LUCK YOU'VE BEEN HAVING! i suggest scratching the back of a dog's ear or rubbing a dog's belly as excellent first steps on the road to good luck.
of course that fact that lottery tickets are basically a tax on the stupid also dissuades me from buying them.
i love you sons of bitches
32 comments:
When I was a kid I thought Elvis was as cool as it got. I grew out of it.
I always thought that buying lottery tickets were for people that didn't understand math.
I bought $20 worth the other day and won $9, I never claimed to understand math.
The odds of winning anything are tiny in most lotteries, so your rule works on that level. On the other hand, the cost of a ticket is small and winning gives you enough cash to live like a king. I'm not sure people who buy tickets are behaving irrationally.
I've never done worth a shit on lottery tickets but a few times I've done decent on pull tabs and the slots. I'm suppose I'm about even on the games and had fun at times.
If it wasn't for lotteries your personal taxes would be higher so you have that going for you also, ya lucky bastard.
tex - i still think elvis is cool and i still love the colonel.
gb - the math behind lottery tickets is horrendous for the purchaser.
king - if you've been playing a long time i suspect you're not even but on the other hand you and most others, myself included, would have pissed the money away on some other piece of junk.
I think the gentlesimian is correct.
If you are poor, your odds of becoming rich through honest hard work and persistence are zero.
The odds of winning the lottery are slightly higher than zero, and the cost can't be that high if poor folks can afford it.
Of course, the best odds would result from dispensing with the honesty... assuming the poor person has the guile and the stones to cheat, steal, and leverage their way to victory... but those odds still suck and do nothing for the poor and stupid.
So, while I'd agree that the lottery is a tax on the math illiterate, I think it is a rational option for the people getting shafted. It's not like they're awash in opportunity.
absolutely correct thims but i'm more concerned with the damage losing does to people.
if someone plays and loses on a regular basis they're hard wiring their neural pathways into losing.
show me a good loser and i'll show you a loser.
I won the lottery once, on the number 666.
Truth.
And since no one will ask, I had 13 tickets and it was Halloween night.
The payoff was $27,315 and I used it for my tuition.
I've dabbled in gambling for many years but not high stakes and not consistence, all in all I think I'm pretty even but if I am a bit behind I at least had fun at times and most fun costs some money.
Like the time I dropped into a bar/keno club in Nebraska and left with 1300 bucks to the good, and the cute bartender damn near left with me.
True story.....
Leslie needs to get over that 666 shit.....
A spirit fucking around with a cock that a man packs around hasn't got anything to do with any 666 bullshit.
Christianity is just another mental illness.
"Do you think that the amoeba ever dreamed that it would evolve into a frog?"
You're afraid that losing reinforces loser behavior, and of course it does: we make our own luck. But I can't be arsed to care about self inflicted misfortune when there is plenty of systemic misanthropy to counter.
Those what wallow in poverty and poor fortune are lost, but those who crush the dreams of the hopeful are fair game. You know who you are!
systemic misanthropy is beyond my reach. as a agent of the rosewater foundation my focus is on one broken man and restoring his neural pathways to their default settings.
Just one? Have you looked at your site meter recently?
I'd say that your reach exceeds your modesty, which is evidently bounteous.
Perhaps your inner jew realizes that tikkun olam was covered in mishna sanhedrin. Or perhaps your inner viking longs for attainable victories?
my inner jew is focused on זהב at the moment.
Bottoms up?
BBC you are a goddamned idiot and a humorless twat to boot.
I am not a Christian.
She is a Masshole from Salem, a Satan-luver!
I've never said she was a christian, but she is likely far from satan also. She thinks I'm a fucking idiot cuz she misses what I try to get across, that the spirits like sex.
I'M TOO HIP...
You sure are.
Note to Bill: Try to refrain from talking to the fucking bitch.
i'm really tired and sore from shoveling the snow from mine and my neighbor's sidewalks etc.
if i only had a neighbor with a snow plow, life would be good.
Sure, I would plow your snow for you if you wuz a neighbor..
Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence! :-P
Peace,
Steve...
and merry xmas to you mr giles. i hope you manage to sober up for a few hours on the 25th.
I am with you on lottery tickets but the lovely Mrs. Shife persuades me to buy some when the jackpot hits a heavenly amount. Take care, BP.
I will drop a few bucks on it when there's a huge jackpot to be had, but since I have it all planned out for the win, it never happens - or hasn't so far.
If I lose, I lose a buck.
If I win, I get hundred$ of million$.
Sounds like an acceptable risk!
Billy, he who gambles, does so at his/her own peril. Gambling's a _very_ risky, dangerous and _addictive_ attraction for some of us! :-P Bill'd be the first to testify to that, my friend, - after all, he continually puts his life on the line by gambling with the wrath of 'The Lovely Leslie'! :-P
To You & Yours, I Wish You a Happy & Peaceful Day/Night!
Peace,
Steve...
lottery tickets are one of satan's best tools.
Billy, my friend, in your last comment, mate, I most certainly think. and agree, that you most definately hit the jackpot!
Take Care & Stay Lucky!
Peace,
Steve...
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