dad is 93 while i'm closing in on 60 so it was time for a little blood work. we both came through with flying colors. the doctor said dad's blood work was very good and mine was "fantastic". so i got that going for me too. it proves that a crappy diet of candy and donuts can be counteracted by large amounts of exercise.
speaking of candy, i'm happy to say jesus still loves me. i was meaning to pick up some small tootsie roll pops after halloween but the price held steady at 98 cents per 100 grams and that seemed a little steep to me so i kept checking on it each time i went to the supermarket. the other day when checked it was down to 20 cents per 100 grams so i loaded up 2 bags, just a little over 2.5 kilograms and headed to the self serve check out. they came up at 54 cents per hundred grams. i hit the goddamned jackpot! since they were priced incorrectly in the computer i got the sons of bitches for free! of course i had to call in the clerk who in turn had to check the price and then call in the manager but i got them for free and not just one bag but both bags. thank you jesus, but don't rest on your laurels. remember all the other stuff i want you to do for me.
i eat one of those little beauties each day when i'm 70% through my morning work out routine. it's a fabulous routine that i would be prepared to share for 3 easy payments of $19.99. and if you order within the next 2 hours i'll throw in the secret to financial success and happiness. just pay additional postage and handling.
i love you sons of bitches.
19 comments:
I went to cash in my beer bottles to buy your work out routine, turns out beer bottles aint worth nuthin in Oklahoma. No wonder the the streets and roads are littered with them.
Jesus must be a fan of tootsie rolls too, I'll know just what to put in the collection plate next Sunday!
At sixty I was still very active and bullet proof, but at 71 I'm starting to question that.
You could have picked a better version of the big rock candy mountain.
tex - try double sided adhesive tape on your fingers next sunday. jesus forgives everything.
king - give up alcohol and tobacco.
the other versions had 15 second google commercials that are going to become a lot more pervasive after google starts charging a monthly fee for commercial free service.
Fuck you, I have been on this rock for 71 years and don't care to be here much longer so I will keep drinking my beer even if I stop smoking.
My big problem is a cock that still wants some attention at times. Thankfully, not everyday anymore.
Oh well, at least my hand loves me.
Now there putting out Christmas Candy. I don't see getting much holiday sweets.
Everyone makes plenty to go around.
I'm thinking of making fruit cake this year.
Coffee is on
Candy is dandy but sex won't rot your teeth.
No wonder you're healthy if you only eat one a day. Eating less is the secret of longevity, which has been proven for mice and monkeys. Are your cholesterol numbers good?
I'm on the 3 M&Ms a day system. The ones with nuts - it keeps me in the game. Congrats on the freebies!
My goodness - is that recent of John Hartford? I likes the music - thanks Billy. :))
My diet regimen: Cool mountain water, ten degrees below room temperature, and an occasional stuffed cabbage. I walk 17 miles a day, to the cabbage store and back so I don't run out of cabbage.
I just drink room temperature beer.
king - don't bring my teeth into this. it's a painful subject.
gb - unfortunately my sweet tooth takes over in the afternoon but what the hell, it's later than i think.
duxie - probably about as recent as it gets since he croaked in 2001. i miss that son of a bitch.
shaw - 17 miles of walking and eating cabbage! were you once in the russian army?
Thanks billy,
Duxie
Hi BP. Good to hear you and the old man are both doing well. Nice work and enjoy all that candy my friend.
"71 years" and "cock" should never again be in the same comment.
#scarredforlife
I'm guessing that the work out comes from lifting all those remotes a zillion times...I have two that I can't keep track of.
lol I guess that the exercise is weight lifting these remote controls
I know the secret to financial success; I am Dutch and I am already happy so NO deal
Sure is nice to see it warming up some. I hope it is decent weather during my trip to spend thanksgiving with number one daughter and family.
alright you sons of bitches, i'm back. (temporarily)
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