i have a bone to pick...

yes, i have a bone to pick. three years ago, much to my surprise, i was diagnosed as having osteoporosis. i had taken my mother to a clinic specializing in osteoporosis because her previous bone density tests puzzled the family doctor. after i signed her in, she was asked to take part in some sort of osteoporosis study but she declined. i quickly volunteered thinking it wouldn't hurt to establish a relationship with these guys in case my mother needed some sort of special attention. before i knew what going on i was in a room answering the questions of a russian woman. after answering way too many questions i was quickly scheduled to get a bone scan. the guy doing the scan wasn't happy with having to fit me in. he was a great big guy with a shaved head and dressed totally in white. it was right out of a science fiction movie.

after getting the scan i was sent to another room and met with some sort of research scientist who informed me that i had bone loss and was very close to having osteoporosis in my lower spine. my hips were only mildly osteoporotic. lucky me. up until that time i had thought osteoporosis was something only women got. i was then sent back to the russian woman and had to answer more questions. she left and came back five minutes later only to tell me that i was ineligible for the study due to the medication i was taking for something else. so it goes.

i've been taking fosovance for three years and am finally able to get another bone scan. my first scan was paid for by the private company doing the study but now i'm in the regular health care system and was told i had to take the feckin fosovance for 3 years before the government health care would give me another scan. well the three years are up and on friday i get the scan! i've promised myself a real cool new toy if my bones have strengthened.

the moral to this story is men can get osteoporosis. surprisingly, cycling is a major cause of osteoporosis. it burns a lot of calories and there is little jarring of the bones. i must confess that i haven't taken the fosovance exactly as instructed but what the fuck, who does?

i love you sons of bitches.

oil

there have been plenty of PROTESTS AGAINST THE KEYSTONE PIPELINE. protesting is part of the human condition and i love a good protest but there is one thing i don't like, celebrity led protests. i always think of steely dan, the show business kids are making movies of themselves and they don't give a fuck about anybody else. so if the protestors manage to delay keystone again will the dirty oil be shut in?

fuck no, the spice must flow and instead of shipping by pipeline the dirty oil will be SHIPPED BY RAIL. yes, the amount of oil being shipped by rail is skyrocketing and i don't want to piss in anyone's cornflakes but shipping by rail is harder on the enviroment than shipping by pipeline. the length of trains being used to ship oil etc is also increasing. trains are now 12,000 FEET LONG! that's over 2 fucking miles long. it takes a lot of diesel to pull these trains and yes, occasionally trains do derail. so the question is, what is more destructive to the enviroment. trains or pipelines? and guess who's about the biggest investor in trains, obumble's new best friend, warren buffet.

if you doubt that shipping by rail is more dangerous than by pipeline, even the association of american railroads concedes that shipping by rail is 2 to 3 time more likely to have an accident than by pipeline, other studies state the likelihood of a rail accident is up to 34 times higher by RAIL THAN BY PIPELINE.

i'm watching all this with more than a passing interest. my best friend, who happens to be a little crazy, shorted several thousand shares of cp rail at $77 last summer. not only has the share price rocketed up to $120, he also has to pay the dividend. i suspect he shorted more shares along the way and yes he has had a lot of margin calls along the way but he's a big boy and he knew the risks. so it goes.

i'm pro enviroment, but anti celebrity. if carl sagan was leading the charge against the pipeline i'd jump on the bandwagon but i'll keep away from the show business kids. too bad carl was so selfish and went and croaked.

i love you sons of bitches.

BAM!

if you would have told me 5 years ago that my favorite tv shows would be reality based i would have said you were nuts but somehow or other about the only tv shows i watch these days are reality shows. either i've gone nuts or there is just fuck all else to watch. somehow or other i find myself watching a few shows that feature down on their luck people trying to make it big in the gold mining racket. here they are:

GOLD RUSH

JUNGLE GOLD

BEARING SEA GOLD

BAMAZON

gold rush and bearing sea gold are somewhat believable but jungle gold and bamazon are absolutely insane. the 2 guys on jungle gold were world class stupid if you care to believe that the show was on the up and up. needless to say they lost their investors money and headed back to the u.s.a. but vowed to return to the jungle. these 2 fucknuts couldn't find any gold in the jungle so they decided to buy some black market gold and sell it at a profit. they were very pleased with themselves after buying some gold for about 50 cents on the dollar but their joy was short lived. some nogoodnik black guys stole the gold. so it goes. i finished watching bamazon last night. the good old boys from alabama found fuck all gold after spending about a million bucks but considered it a success and vowed to return next year.

as an added bonus on jungle gold our heroes were claimed jumped by a bunch of rifle toting nine irons and had to cross the the nine iron's lease to get to their lease. the nine irons looked pretty mean and our heroes were shit scared of them.

i've pissed around with penny mining stocks for about 40 years and took a placer mining course in my youth. sonny is a mining engineer and spent 4 summers in the yukon working in exploration camps so i do have a little more than a passing interest in gold. combine my love of gold with the lunacy of a bunch of down on their luck fucknuts trying to strike it rich and i'm thoroughly entertained. most of these shows center around an old excavator that breaks down almost every show or some sort of mechanical failure that stops our intrepid mining heroes in their tracks. water, either too much or not enough, also plays a very big role in our heroes adventures.

if i only could find a partner who was good at fixing stuff i might try it myself. does anyone know an old master mechanic that can fix old stuff and is at home shitting in the woods?

i love you sons of bitches

family day!

our benevolent premier declared that the second monday in february will be family day. a paid holiday honoring families in british columbia. another holiday; if that isn't nice, what is?

our beloved premier is very low in the public opinion polls and with an election just around the corner she's giving us another holiday. it might be called family day but being in a traditional family has fuck all to do with whether or not you get the day off. it all comes down to who you work for. all provincial civil servants get the day off but federal civil servants do not. all the service industry workers basically get fucked too. i needed some postage stamps and saw a mailman out on his route, federal civil servant, so i went to the local post office that is inside a 7-11. the post office was closed but the 7-11 clerk was happy to sell me some stamps. so the letter carriers were out on their routes but the workers in the post office had the day off. go figure.

as near as i can figure there are 3 things a politician must know:

1. familes - good.

2. middle class - good.

3. drunk drivers - bad.

it seems that every time a politician fucks up they either come out and say we must do more for our middle class and families or we must crack down on drunk drivers. in canada it seems like the provinces compete for the toughest drunk driving laws.

as a member of the middle class and a family guy to boot i can honestly say we don't need any fucking help or stupid holidays. the people that really need help are the working single mothers and crack whores. i know a few single mothers and they have it tough. i don't know any crack whores but it sounds like a really tough job.

and now, a moment of silence in memory of a fine man who will no longer visit this blog or consider me his friend.

i love you sons of bitches.

rules

it's a rainy day and i'm bored so what better to do than take a shot at israel. not so much at israel but the pedestal upon which many people place israel. last week a british member of parliament was REPRIMANDED FOR CRITICIZING ISRAEL.

first mr ward was ordered to apologize for having the temerity to criticize israeli treatment of palestinians, then he was given an official reprimand by his party and if that is not enough he was summoned to appear before the party whips. i'm not saying mr ward was right or wrong in his criticism of israeli actions toward the palestinians. here is my point, we need clear and concise international rules regarding......

ah, fuck it. this is an argument that jesus christ himself couldn't win. he tried and we all know where that got him.

on a more philosophical note, should TWO PARK RANGERS BE ABLE TO HANDLE A KOMODO DRAGON? when i saw this article my first thought was, could i best a komodo dragon if i was armed with a baseball bat and in my prime? the komodo dragon would probably knock the shit out of me on its home turf. but what if the contest was held in a cold climate? or better yet, how would the komodo dragon do if turned loose in israel?

here's canada's toughest hebrew fighting a lizard

i love you sons of bitches.

big bang

it would appear that we are scheduled to HAVE A DATE WITH AN ASTEROID.

the big event should take place on feb 15 and the asteroid is about the size of a football field. large enough create a good sized crater but not large enough to plunge us into an ice age or pose a threat to israel. perhaps kim jong un will proclaim that he built, launched and set the guidance system to narrowly miss the united states just as a warning. he does seem to be flexing his muscles these days.

my question is why in the world is there no talk of blasting this rogue asteroid to smithereens. you would think we should test our equipment on a non planetary threatening asteroid just to be ready for the big one. it would make for tremendous theater. imagine sitting in your adirondack chair with a beer and a smoke with some nice music playing and getting ready to watch the explosion of a life time. at the very least there should be some serious discussion on whether or not to teach this feckin dirt ball from outer space a lesson as a deterrent to future nogoodnik pieces of space debris.

it's time like this that the world needs someone whom is not afraid to think big. who you gonna call? newt gringrich, that's who!

i love you sons of bitches.