Wednesday, February 6, 2013

rules

it's a rainy day and i'm bored so what better to do than take a shot at israel. not so much at israel but the pedestal upon which many people place israel. last week a british member of parliament was REPRIMANDED FOR CRITICIZING ISRAEL.

first mr ward was ordered to apologize for having the temerity to criticize israeli treatment of palestinians, then he was given an official reprimand by his party and if that is not enough he was summoned to appear before the party whips. i'm not saying mr ward was right or wrong in his criticism of israeli actions toward the palestinians. here is my point, we need clear and concise international rules regarding......

ah, fuck it. this is an argument that jesus christ himself couldn't win. he tried and we all know where that got him.

on a more philosophical note, should TWO PARK RANGERS BE ABLE TO HANDLE A KOMODO DRAGON? when i saw this article my first thought was, could i best a komodo dragon if i was armed with a baseball bat and in my prime? the komodo dragon would probably knock the shit out of me on its home turf. but what if the contest was held in a cold climate? or better yet, how would the komodo dragon do if turned loose in israel?

here's canada's toughest hebrew fighting a lizard

i love you sons of bitches.

94 comments:

Kelly said...



Am I first to post a comment on this post. That would be a dream cum true.

Ya know... I would like to fly a Komodo Dragon all around the globe and kill a gorn by picking up William Shatner by his legs and giving the ugly rubber-made monster a good knock to the boulder, nearby. Damn, I love that Star Trek episode.

Yeah, about what you were talking about. I don't know what the fuss is about.

Btw, I love your blog and your writing style, my friend and it's been a true pleasure interacting with someone of you caliber. I wish you well, billy pilgrim. Please keep in touch.

billy pilgrim said...

thanks kelly, you're a scholar and a gentleman.

the first time i watched the gorn episode i was yelling at the tv, "LEAD THE GORN INTO THE SHADE, IT NEEDS WARMTH TO FUNCTION!"

Gorilla Bananas said...

The British MP got into trouble for criticising "Jews" instead of the Israeli government and he did it on Holocaust day, but who gives a shit? That Gorn sounded chesty to me, he must have had a cold which made him less than 100% fit. As per usual, Kirk got lucky...

billy pilgrim said...

i've long suspected that there's a connection between israel and the jews. kirk creates his own luck.

Anonymous said...

".....the komodo dragon would probably knock the shit out of me on its home turf......"

It would need to only 'nibble' you with a single tooth. The venom and bacteria harboured in its saliva would kill you in two or three days.
I recommend a 'designated hitter', whether you be in your prime or not.

I've 'petted' the beasts. I know about which I speak.

billy pilgrim said...

oh yeah, hold my drink and watch this.

i know they're tough, that's why i have to be in my prime and hold the competition in a cold climate. it might make a good half time show for a grey cup held in saskatchewan. super dave osborne could be my second but that fucking fuji will be locked in the trunk of an old buick in winnipeg until the battle is over.

Leslie said...

That is the first time I've ever seen a Star Wars clip. It makes "Lost in Space" look sophisticated.

Anonymous said...

The Tutor had/has a crush on Angela Cartwright, who played Penny Robinson on "Lost In Space" and Brigitta von Trapp in "The Sound of Music".
He likes older women.
That is why Leslie and I are shit out of luck.

Leslie said...

I thought the tutor had a crush on Paul Newman.

Penny was the dark-haired sister with big boobs that bounced in her space tunic?


Not bad for 60 .

Anonymous said...

It is I who has the crush on Paul Newman. The Tutor prefers Joanne Gignilliat Trimmier Woodward - she keeps forgetting to return his calls though, the filthy cow.

Leslie said...

You're fucked up.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Leslie,

You say this:

"......Penny was the dark-haired sister with big boobs that bounced in her space tunic?......"

And I'm the one who's fuct up?

Space tunic?

Tunic?

billy pilgrim said...

i'm a major sci fi fan and have never been able to make it all the way through a star wars movie. i just can't see what all the fuss is about.

Anonymous said...

I've not been able to watch them to completion either.
Leslie tells me that each Star Wars movie ends with 'boobs bouncing in space tunics', perhaps this is the hook?

Leslie said...

You're fucked up because Joanne Woodward has Alzheimers and you know it.

Leslie said...

I don't watch sci-fi thingys. I know Lost in Space because that and Bonanza played non-stop on the television in Thailand.

Leslie said...

These are fucking tunics! Space tunics!

Anonymous said...

From whence I come, it was "The Adam's Family" and "Combat", with Vic Morrow. Both in black and white.

Joanne has dementia?
Well The Tutor is gonna be pissed, he's been wasting perfectly good roofies on her then.

thimscool said...

I grew up watching Bugs Bunny, Abott and Costello, and Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp, from which I derived my respect for authority.

Leslie said...

...and your respect for BBC!

billy pilgrim said...

firefly may be the best sci fi series.

i think whedon did a better job on serenity than with the avengers.

did you know his brother was a writer on deadwood?

billy pilgrim said...

i have respect for bbc.

say what you want but he's an honest man. that being said, he can still be a pain in the ass when he puts his mind to it.

Leslie said...

He is NOT an honest man! Not online, anyway. I don't know him anywhere else.

billy pilgrim said...

maybe i just fell off the turnip truck but he strikes me as being honest.

Anonymous said...

In my professional judgement, BBC is a born narcissistic psychopath with reasonable intellect. He does not, however, have a formal education and therefore possesses a dangerously untrained mind. He is 'safe', as long as you don't 'push his buttons' AND you are a self-loathing dullard born to 'Enable' his type.

Leslie is correct though, he is not honest. In his defence, though, he more often than not does not realise when he is lying. This phenomena is part of his 'condition' and is, I guess, excusable.

Leslie said...

He's lied about me all over the place, even claiming I hacked his account and post comments as him. And then there's the whole spamming thing. I wouldn't know how to spam if my life depended on it.

Do I care? Not much. It's the internet. Just don't say he's honest. It might be a neurological issue (ie brain atrophy), but I doubt it since he's so consistent.
He just tends to lash out carelessly when cornered.

Anonymous said...

Spamming thing?
Demeur was spammed and the cunt BBC blamed me. Fortunately Demeur knew better.
BBC probably did it then?
Fuck!
What a child!

billy pilgrim said...

well, i still think he's basically honest. more so than me.

but thims talked me into buying old american dimes for the upcoming economic meltdown so my judgement is suspect. (i was going to call it the upcoming economic holocaust but i didn't want to risk being reprimanded.)

Leslie said...

People with healthy self-esteem, and without too much of an aversion to conflict, immediately recognize BBC and his type and react negatively to him.

Conversely, BBC and his type immediately recognize those folks ~labelled "fucking bitches" if female and if male? ~hit and run taunts on the strong males until BBC is finally embarrassed and leaves.

He surrounds himself with needy, damaged people. The strong, well- adjusted types see him for what he is, a bully.

billy pilgrim said...

you play 2 dimensional chess with him. throw in depth and a temporal dimension to make things more interesting.

Leslie said...

I've no interest in doing that. Because I'm female and own a home and a car, he immediately labelled me a "spoiled, empire-building bitch" and a liar. Apparently only he is allowed to own a home ~a home that was given to him. I worked for mine.

Once he did that, I immediately labelled him a sexist moron.

In my brief email exchanges with him, I found him to be very needy, and very schizo, and a real prick if you couldn't or wouldn't give him the time he wanted.

I don't like him.

thimscool said...

You're the one that convinced me to pay attention to BBC. Once I got to know him, I see him as a force for good, although often by carom.

texlahoma said...

Ward should have stood by his criticism, then ratcheted it up a notch, but no, he caved.
Since he wussed out, he should have to fight a Kamodo Dragon to the death, armed only with a tennis racket and a broken cell phone.
(I have a strange sense of justice.)

billy pilgrim said...

tex - i'm wondering how i'd fare with a full body armor suit, only face exposed, armed with a bowie knife.

thims - 2 more rolls of dimes arrived today. i've decided to go for roosevelt rather than mercury after weighing the mercury dimes and finding a lot of them weighing considerably less than 2.5 grams.

flexibility is not bill's strong point.

BBC said...

I appear to be a problem with psychologically fucked up bitches here that have never met me or spent any time with me at all, and use your blog to go on and on about me cuz they are not welcome at my friends blogs. Thim’s has met me, listen to the bitches or Thim's, I don't give a fuck either way. Carry on.

BBC said...

I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned a number of times that these bitches wouldn't make a pimple on Helen's ass, a good woman they don't even know, or any decent woman's ass.

In fact they wouldn't make a pimple on any of my lady friends asses and even though I bitch about women a lot I have a hell of a lot of female friends. The ones that visit here are not amongst them.

BBC said...

Put that in your pipes and smoke it.

BBC said...

Would one of these bitches try to pull one of their sisters out of a ditch like I did? I'm guessing not, I'm guessing they don't even have tow straps in their rigs.

They spend so much time on the internut I'm not even going to assume they have automobiles. But it's very easy for me to assume that they are vindictive bitches.

Mr. Shife said...

Sometimes the world is just dumb. I know movies tend to embellish and exaggerate but after watching the latest James Bond, I am not going anywhere near a komodo dragon. Hope you are well BP and have a good weekend.

billy pilgrim said...

mr shife - you're a softball player and the komodo's skull is probably about the size of a softball so i think you should give it a try.

bill - i'd like to see that pimple on helen's arse you keep bragging about.

BBC said...

There is no pimple on Helen's ass, haven't I pointed out many times that these women wouldn't make a pimple on her ass?

Leslie said...

That's another one of your annoying traits, BBC. Every time you help someone you have to boast about it. "I didn't stick around for thank yous"...Of course not! Why would you when you could rush home and write a post about it so all your idiot female internet friends could gush "Oh, Billy, you're such a gooooooood person!" Meanwhile you know you're not, or you wouldn't need validation.

"I took Helen for a ride today. Don't know what she'd do without me next door...". And you got nothing in return, right? You really should say you don't know what you'd do without HER next door. You'd be living in your truck!

Thimscool, I believe I directed you to BBC for entertainment, not enlightenment. I stand by that.

Leslie said...

I appear to be a problem with psychologically fucked up bitches here that have never met me or spent any time with me at all, and use your blog to go on and on about me cuz they are not welcome at my friends blogs. Thim’s has met me, listen to the bitches or Thim's, I don't give a fuck either way. Carry on.

You clearly give a fuck. You're lying everywhere about being stalked by me and you come here and leave random nasty comments when you're not getting attention elsewhere.

Still waiting for the links of all these "friends' blogs" where I badger you. I'd bet money Refuge Creek turned off comments to get rid of YOU. I've never left a comment there!

Leslie said...

I think a psychologist would tell you the internet is another way of beating up women because you quickly figured out hitting them for real gets you 3 hots and a cot.

Anonymous said...

"3 hots and a cot"?

I've never heard that before.

That's a good one.

Anonymous said...

pilgrim said,

".....well, i still think he's(BBC) basically honest. more so than me......"

thimscool said,

".....Once I got to know him, I see him(BBC) as a force for good, although often by carom....."

The two of you should research, in depth, the methods - the use of both the medium and the message - a Narcissistic Psychopath (NP) uses to ply her/his trade.

When the NP is young, these methods are quite effective in real life. In their dotage, the NPs die alone - Enablers can only enable for so long until they die/escape. With the invention of the Internet the NPs can continue recruiting a virtual coterie of Enablers for, like, ever!

Anonymous said...

"......Would one of these bitches try to pull one of their sisters out of a ditch like I did?......"

No, but we will throw one another out of a moving vehicle into a ditch.

".....I'm guessing they don't even have tow straps in their rigs......"

If I had a rig, I'm sure I would only carry a package of "WetNaps" and a sign which read, "Please Call Police. I am armed by the way" which I would display if ever I found myself, in my rig, in a ditch.

".....They spend so much time on the internut I'm not even going to assume they have automobiles....."

Well if you do not even assume I have an automobile, how could I possibly pull a sister out of a ditch like you do? Were you drinking when you wrote this comment? I spend an inordinate amount of time on the Internet because I have no friends in real life.

"......But it's very easy for me to assume that they are vindictive bitches......."

I reckon it would be.

BBC said...

Geez, Billy P, your fucked up girlfriends sure seem to hate the fact that I think there are better women on this rock than they are.

thimscool said...

I'll bet a roll of dimes that you beat the lizard.

Anonymous said...

Now let us deal with this belief y'all have that Mr. BBC is honest.

Well, how should I put this. I know....

The truly gifted NP will take full advantage of the belief in Western Society that a person would not, on their own volition, reveal a 'fact' about themselves which is embarrassing. A person would only reveal such 'facts' if they are either forced to do so - by Law; at gun-point; or they are Totally Honest!

The Tutor, when he was a practising psychopath, on the Internet(1), would 'reveal' that when he was a teenager he spent some time on a farm wherein to had sex, repeatedly, with several ewes. His victims thought, "Boy that is embarrassing! Boy he must be sooooooo honest." After that, The Tutor was believed to be a truthful lout - no matter what he said.

The next lecture will cover the use of persistent, and often arguably humourous, derogations aimed at the Enablers to ensure their self-esteem is lowered, and raised, by the NP alone.

(1) He now restricts his psychopathy to the realm of real life - more challenging.

thimscool said...

You think my self esteem depends on BBC?

Anyway, can you guys believe that a drone hasn't taken out this Dorner chap by now?

I've been repeatedly assured by facebook infographics that a guy with a rifle couldn't possibly survive the wrath of the people's army! This guy has declared war on the LAPD and he's costing the city millions of dollars. What happened to the F22's and smart missiles?

billy pilgrim said...

bill - they're not my girlfriends but i would like to see a picture of helen so i can decide for myself if the ladies are indeed unable to match a pimple on her arse.

there is a chance that helen wouldn't be able to make a pimple on ruby's arse.

Anonymous said...

thimscool said,

"......You think my self esteem depends on BBC?......."

No I do not!
You are not his Enabler. Nor is pilgrim.
You are his apologists.

BBC said...

I've posted pictures of Helen before, she is no beauty queen but she is a first class sweetie pie.

BBC said...

And if something happened to you she would be more than happy to take care of your Ruby for you because she loves dogs and cats.

Anonymous said...

Is ruby's arse that good?

Was this the arse that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Illium?

Although The Tutor prefers ewes, he could be enticed to switch Species, even Orders. Though I reckon the Orders "Monotremata" and "Marsupialia" are a bit too much.

He'd do a Komodo I reckon.

Anonymous said...


The first class sweetie pie is a prime target for the unscrupulous NP.
They are so trusting and overtly susceptible to the big con.

billy pilgrim said...

i'm off to the nine iron bakery on the iron maiden to pick up some bbq pork buns. it's going to be a tough ride, ten miles uphill and feckin cold outside.

Anonymous said...

I predict that when the fair Leslie sees this.......

"......The Tutor,.....would 'reveal' that when he was a teenager he spent some time on a farm wherein he had sex, repeatedly, with several ewes. His victims thought, "Boy that is embarrassing! Boy he must be sooooooo honest."....."

....she will respond:

His victims actually thought, "Baaaaaa, that is embarrassing. Baaaaaaaa, he must be baaaaaaaaaaa honest."

You wait.
You'll see.

Anonymous said...

Pilgrim?

Be sure to wish then "Gung Hey Fat Choy" - or something like that.

Be sure to follow it with "Gai See Jee Na" if you want the BBQ Pork Buns warmed up.

Leslie said...

I just paid 2 Mexicans to unbury not only my car, but also my neighbor's. I didn't stick around for thank yous.

ALTF~ please tell SR I'll be at The Standard sipping vintage port with a Patriots fan.

Anonymous said...

How much does a 'Mexican' get paid to unbury that 'rig' of yours?

SR tells me that he hates you and that you wouldn't make a pimple on anyone's arse.

BBC said...

No one gives a fuck about what Leslie thinks, other than a few of her fucked up friends on the internut she hasn't got any friends out there. Apparently she hasn't got any in real life either.

Yup, the universe just doesn't give a fuck about Leslie the twisted bitch.

BBC said...

I helped someone, that really didn't deserve help being as she could have ran into me instead, I'm a country boy, and that is what we do.

And I did a fucking post about it, not to brag about helping someone, but just to state the fucking facts.

Something Leslie wouldn't understand while she's eating hotcakes and slobbering on her fucking keyboard.

BBC said...

Online friends that responded to my post through emails thought I had done a good thing. It was just a bitch on the internut that put me down for it.

Fuck her.

Leslie said...

No, fuck YOU.

You did a post about it to build yourself up, not to state the facts. The facts were boring and I'm sure she could've driven the damn truck out of the ditch if you hadn't terrorized her first.

Good thing the country "boy" had the wherewithal to take a picture for his blog prior to changing into his Superman cape.

Leslie said...

Online friends that responded to my post through emails thought I had done a good thing.

LOL!!! See???!!!

I cannot fucking stand your sorry old ass!

Leslie said...

Leslie said... Every time you help someone you have to boast about it. "I didn't stick around for thank yous"...Of course not! Why would you when you could rush home and write a post about it so all your idiot female internet friends could gush "Oh, Billy, you're such a gooooooood person!"

BBC said...Online friends that responded to my post through emails thought I had done a good thing.

There. Is that clearer, you bigmouth fucking clown? You just perfectly illustrated my point but you are too thick to even get that!

Keep it coming, dipshit.

billy pilgrim said...

well, there's not much i can add to this discussion but i do think bill should bullshit about his good deeds on facebook. the fucknuts over there will click "like" until they turn purple and everyone will live happily ever after.

BBC said...

I don't do facebook, just my blog, and if fucked up idiots don't like me talking about my good deeds on it that's their fucking problem.

At least I do good deeds.

BBC said...

Hey, it's not my fault Leslie is a piece of shit, and loves to fuck is running second.

BBC said...

There is a very simple solution for not having to hear about my good deeds.

DON'T READ MY FUCKING BLOG !!!!

BBC said...

"You did a post about it to build yourself up, not to state the facts. The facts were boring and I'm sure she could've driven the damn truck out of the ditch if you hadn't terrorized her first."

Yup, maybe I should have just drove on by and left her in the fucking ditch, that you are so fucking stupid that you think she could have drove out of it.

Wouldn't be my problem if her dad had pay a hundred bucks to get a wrecker to get his truck out of the ditch.

BBC said...

In this state there is a strange law about "illegal towing", not sure about how it came about, something to do with the towing company's lobby I suppose.

But I could have gotten a ticket for pulling her out of the ditch. Maybe I will just drive by if it happens again, after all, why should I help some twit texting on a cell phone as she goes around a corner, and almost runs into me?

Leslie said...

You're calling me fucking stupid while writing that second paragraph? Really?

Have another drink, Sloppy. And btw, people who do "good deeds" for the right reasons don't talk about them incessantly. You do it to feel superior and you brag about it to make yourself look like less of a turd.

BBC said...

Go ahead, explain to me why I should risk getting a 118 dollar ticket for helping some twit. If you say it's cuz I'm an idiot you may have a good point.

Leslie said...

There you go. Excellent spin. You could've gotten a ticket for helping or you could've been been hit. Either way, you're the victim!

Fuck that stupid texting tit-adjusting daddy's girl!

BBC said...

Leslie, once again, fuck you, you are a piece of shit....

billy pilgrim said...

bill - i really do think you should have a facebook account.

thimscool said...

Seconded!

Leslie said...

No, he needs a Twitter account . Getting "retweeted" is the same as being "liked". Plus he'd be limited to brief statements...

Heading into Monkeyville

Made some cornbread

Those who follow me know I've predicted global chaos and destruction. Just me. No one else has these thoughts.

Stupid fucking bitches adjusting their tits while driving

Making a toy cannon cuz my real one stopped working

Doc Teri is good people for a spoiled fucking bitch

If you can't look in my eyes and share spirit while fondling our cock you are a piece of shit

Fucking rain

Fucking bitches



billy pilgrim said...

thanks leslie - you made me laugh.

harry said...

Nominated for Comment Of The Year!

billy pilgrim said...

excellent idea harry. as the moderator/administrator i have to remain neutral but i'm sure someone else will second your nomination.

of course a certain fucking pussy we all know and love has vowed never to return after this comment.

and he really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really means it this time.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Well Leslie may have made you laugh, pilgrim, but she made me cry.

She's so mean.

BBC said,

".......why should I help some twit texting on a cell phone as she goes around a corner, and almost runs into me?......"

Maybe she was trying to text you? You owe her something I figure.

thimscool said...

Today's home school adventure!

Anonymous said...

Dearest Yankee Gun cunts,

The Tutor just 'purchased' a "War of 1812" muzzel-loading reproduction "long-gun" firearm.
Apparently, flintlock muzzle-loaders do not require a license or an F.A.C. Which is good, as it is unlikely The Tutor would ever be granted an F.A.C. - not with his record.

By Mother's Day, I reckon the cunt will be blinded by a "Flash in the Pan"

I'm taking wagers.

Leslie said...

Thimscool, is that education or indoctrination? Or are those one and the same when home-schooling?

thimscool said...

They are the same for any type of schooling... I'm just not a fan of the particular flavours of government indoctrination at this time. Also, their methodology sucks.

billy pilgrim said...

how can you fucknuts worry about something as trivial as education when mr cook has unfriended me and vowed never to return?

protecting your first amendment rights has cost me a friend.

Anonymous said...

".....They are the same for any type of schooling........."

Not for our more aquatically minded children, now are they?

Pilgrim?

Your bestest buddy will be back. He needs you and Leslie - more than he consciously realises actually.

Bob Harrison said...

Heh. Quite the thread. Thanks all.

TheWayfarer said...

billy pilgrimFebruary 11, 2013 at 10:53 AM
how can you fucknuts worry about something as trivial as education when mr cook has unfriended me and vowed never to return?

protecting your first amendment rights has cost me a friend."

That blows, sorry!